A/N- Thank you so much to those of you who found the first chapter and took the time to read and review. I've had this chapter written for a while and however much i want to, i can't seem to get it quite as i wanted, so you'll have to forgive me a little. it was hard to write for a lot of reasons, but i think it's vital to the rest of the story, so i'm biting the bullet and publishing. Enjoy!

It had been reluctantly that Meredith had called Finn, inviting him around for a conversation that she dint want to have to have with him, but one that had to happen nonetheless. Having decided what she wanted to do about the child she would give birth to in eight months it felt only right that he should know before they got in too deep and got hurt eve more than they were already set to be. She paced the floor as she waited for him to arrive, glancing at the clock as the seconds slipped slowly by, until finally she saw the beams of his car headlights and ran to open the door, taking a cleansing breath and painting a smile on her face, or at least an expression that didn't say "I'm pregnant with another man's baby and I don't think you're going to want to be involved."

"Hey sweetie," She smiled at Finn as he walked in through the open door she was holding, a whole ten minutes early for their 'date'. "How was your day?" She sat down on the couch motioning for him to do the same. Izzie poked her head out of the kitchen door giving her a supportive smile and gesturing that she'd stay in the kitchen until Finn's probable and somewhat inevitable departure.

"Not bad actually, lots of cats today, they all seemed to like the idea of trying to bite me, I thought I'd end up having to visit you at work so you could kiss it better." He smirked and she gave him a small smile, not quite reaching her eyes, before looking down at the floor.

"Finn…" She started before he cut her off. The conversation about prom had been coming for weeks. Six weeks to be exact. Six weeks since Denny died, six weeks of avoiding the elephant in the room using Izzie or work as an excuse for skipping out on dates or leaving early. Six weeks of running from the issue, hoping it would go away instead of steadily growing in her uterus, making it impossible to brush under the rug. Finn sensed the conversation would involve the hook up at prom, he didn't know the details, but he knew it had happened, and it hadn't been intentional. He wasn't happy that it had happened, but he was willing to accept it and move on, and hoping that she felt the same.

"Meredith, I know you and Derek have a history and you both got caught up in the moment, we never said we were exclusive, it's fine, you don't have to keep apologising, let's just move forward and forget about it."

"Finn, it's not that easy, I wish it were that easy." She sighed and looked up at him, taking one of his hands in hers and rubbing it gently with her thumb. "That night, it was more than just a kiss, and neither of us was really thinking straight, and with Denny dying, I didn't even think to…"

"Meredith what are you trying to tell me, you're in love with him?" Finn looked at her confused as she tried to ramble her way towards what she wanted to say.

"No, no it's not that, it's… Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. Okay, so um… that night we forgot to or didn't think to or the next day or anything but we didn't use protection and we both thought it would be fine, but a couple of days ago I took a test." She paused, but his face said he'd understood without her having to say S said I'm pregnant." Finn dropped her hand and swallowed thickly, having no idea what to say. He looked her up and down, opening and closing his mouth in disbelief.

"Pregnant?" he stuttered his eyes widening at the realisation, "As in you have… oh my god, do you know what you're doing about it?" he frowned, not quite getting his head around Meredith's revelation. "Wait, you're not seriously considering…?"

"I'm. Going to have the baby." She said quickly, bowing her head again before looking up and straight into his eye. "I'm having the baby and I told Derek that he can be as involved as he likes. Izzie and George are gonna stick around and help with things and Cristina is going make sarcastic comments and make sure I raise a world class surgeon."

"Where do I fit into all of this, am I just supposed to raise a baby with you, put up with Derek, who quite frankly I think is a total jackass, and so not good enough for you." He started to raise his voice a little. "Did you think I'd be happy for you, take you out to buy a nursery set, do the whole stepdad thing, while he swoops in and does the fun stuff, ball games and coaching the soccer team? That's not really how it works Meredith."

"I know." She said calmly, placing a hand on him knee in an effort to calm him slightly. "And I know I kind of sprang this on you, but I wanted you to know early enough that you can just walk away if you want to, no consequences, no hard feelings. If you can't handle it, I understand. I don't expect you to want Derek's baby in your life. Or for you to have to support us, that's not your responsibility. This is me giving you an out."

"Meredith, I don't know what to say. I thought we had something, I knew that you came with a past, and I knew he was part of that past. I accepted that and I made my peace with it. But I thought that's where he was going to stay that he could go back to being your boss and everything would be fine. I wanted to make our relationship work, to maybe one day have all the things that Derek made you think you'd want. I was ready to grow old with you, move away and send the odd Christmas card to Derek. Now you're saying that you'd happily have him in your life for the next 18 years or more. That's not quite so easy to swallow. I like you a lot Meredith, and I think we could've been great together. A part of me thought that maybe in a few years it would be the two of us having a baby. But no matter what I say or what I do, you're always going to find your way back to him, there's always going to be some reason for you go chasing after him. I thought if I tried harder or made you see that I was the better guy that that would help, but I can't be second best to him for the rest of my life. And I can't be the one that has to discipline your child when they're bad and have them run into his arms." He stood up, sighing. "I have to go before I get any more hurt and before he hurts you any more. I've already watched one woman slip away from me. And I can't stand by and watch another one do the same thing, especially if I have to watch her fall into someone else's arms." He kissed her hard on the lips, taking her by surprise and making her moan, gasping for breath as he pulled away. "Goodbye Meredith. Take care of that little one." He turned away from her and walked towards the front door. "and just for the record, he could never have loved you the way I do." He walked out of the door letting it slam behind him. Meredith listened to the sound of his car leaving the driveway before she let the tears fall, great sobs wracking through her tiny body. She knew deep down that this was what she had wanted for the baby that he needed to be gone before anyone could get too attached, but it hurt to watch him leave, to know that she'd never spend another evening in his kitchen talking about work and spilling her heart to him. Never see him waiting for her at lunchtime, making her heart skip a beat when he brought her favourite foods. Never hear him laugh again or listen to his stories. It hurt to let go of the man she had wanted to love. Izzie tiptoed through, holding out her arms for Meredith, who fell into them, her cries escalating as she buried herself in Izzie's shoulder, all the pain and the fear that came with the pregnancy coming out into the open. Izzie held her and rubbed her back soothing her softly as her sobs began to subside, leaving her sniffing and hiccupping slightly as she composed herself.

"You want a muffin?" She asked Meredith softly, "I made you a whole batch, double chocolate with the fudge frosting you like." Meredith nodded gently and followed Izzie into the kitchen picking at the muffin Izzie placed in front of her.

"Part of me wished it was his." She admitted, "That instead of holding back, I could've been sleeping with him instead of having one stupid night with Derek. I love that I get a baby out of it, I'll love the baby regardless of the fact its half Mcdreamy but I just really wish it wasn't so complicated." Izzie smiled softly at her, nodding her head.

"It's not supposed to be simple. If Finn was supposed to be your knight in shining whatever then you never would have met Derek and you never would have made that baby. You'd probably get married have a couple kids and then it would just fizzle out, and you'd probably drift apart, and you'd always wonder if there would have been something more with Derek or someone that you loved as much as Derek. You're doing the right thing Meredith. It doesn't feel like it now but you are. And in 8 months when you have this tiny beautiful little baby in your arms, then you'll know it was the right thing all along. When you look at your baby for the first time, none of the rest of it will matter. You'll just be in love with this tiny perfect person and all the rest will just melt away." Meredith finished her muffin in silence, Izzie watching over her like the big sister she never had. She tossed the wrapper in the trash and made her way towards the stairs, giving Izzie a quick hug before she left. Izzie watched her go, feeling the pain she was going through at losing the one you loved while you were already giving up so much for the person inside of you. She heard Meredith's door shut, and the shower switch on and made her own way silently up the stairs, to pull out the photo of her own tiny perfect person.

Derek walked out of his surgery, pulling his scrub cap off and sighing. Addison was watching him from the nurses' station and walked over to him, her hand going to his elbow, a concerned look on her face.

"Derek, what's wrong?" She asked gently "Is it Mrs. Jamieson?" Derek shook his head and sighed again.

"The aneurysm was too big, I couldn't get the clip to stay, and her brain began to swell, she was gone before we could even think about saving her." He sighed again, looking into his wife's eyes, knowing that he had to undo all of the work they'd put in to trying to get their marriage back on track. That if he didn't tell her, the OB staff would soon tell her after Meredith's appointment. He took a deep breath and said the four words that he hated. "We need to talk." Addison frowned, and led him into the on call room sitting by him in the bed.

"Shoot," She encouraged him, knowing he had something big to say.

"Oh, there isn't an easy way of telling you this. Meredith and I, we…"

"Slept together, I know, I found her panties Derek. You were in love with her, it's only right that you end it on your terms, instead of letting me swoop in and steal you away. Its fine, I forgive you. We'll get past it, I promise." She smiled at him sympathetically.

"Addison, there's more than that, Meredith she's, I guess I… We're having a baby. She's pregnant." Addison looked at him, shocked by his revelation. She looked at his sad face, her face melting into pity.

"Is she keeping it?" She asked, knowing the answer already, from what she'd heard of Meredith, she wasn't about to get rid of it. Derek nodded, confirming her suspicions. "Does she want you to be involved?" Derek looked up at her, tears of anguish and fatigue welling in his eyes.

"She said I had to do what was right for me, that if I didn't have anyone to support me then I didn't have to do anything. That my priority was you and mom and the girls. That I'd need you all so I had to think about it."

"What do you want to do, what's your heart saying?" Addison knew her husband, she knew how much he wanted to be a father, but she also knew how much his mother, his family meant to him.

"I want to be there, I know what it's like to not have a dad. To wonder if you'd've made the same choices if he'd been there. I don't want my kid to go through that, but I don't want to lose you Addison, I don't want to hurt mom or my sisters. And I really don't want to upset Meredith. I don't know what to do. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wanted to be married, happy and then have kids, this, this is just too much, it hurts too many people, whatever I choose somebody's going to get hurt."

"Derek, is she asking you to have a relationship with her, marry her just because she's pregnant, is she asking you to walk away from your family?" Derek shook his head again.

"No of course not, she just said it's my choice what I want to do about the baby. My baby Addison."

"Exactly, she just wants your child to know his father, and probably its grandmother and its aunts and cousins. She wants what is best for that baby. She's thinking like a mom, she has to get you to think like a dad. Do you want to walk away from her, from the baby, or me?"

"No, definitely not."

"Then we just have to find a way of making this work. It'll be tricky at first, but we'll figure it out. I love you Derek, I just want you to be happy."

"I love you too." He said cracking a tiny smile at his wife, leaning on her shoulder. He stared at the wall and laughed.

"What?" Addison said smiling at him, her brow furrowed slightly. "What's so funny?"

"I'm gonna be a dad." Derek said laughing even more. Addison sighed and shook her head laughing along with him.

"Yes Derek, yes you are."

The two of them quickly got ready to go home, promising to meet each other in the lobby before setting off for the trailer. Addison sighed as she sat down staring at her locker wondering how on earth she was going to be able to sit back and watch as her husband became a father to someone else's baby. A baby that she had wanted, with the man that she had loved for so many years. She changed out of her scrubs, massaging her temples with her palms the way she had taken to doing when she was stressed. She took a deep breath before walking through the door, knowing she needed to compose herself and get ready to be supportive, Derek was going to need her tonight. She shut her eyes, as she began to walk, opening them just in time to avoid knocking over Dr. Bailey.

"Addison?" She asked concerned "Is everything okay?"

"Its fine, I'm fine. The whole Derek and Meredith thing is just a little more complicated than I thought."

"Is that why my intern looked like she was ready to throw herself under a bus this morning? Well you know where I am if you need to talk." She patted her friend on the shoulder as she began to walk away, Addison wasn't quite ready to leave though.

"It's just this isn't how it was supposed to be you know? She was supposed to be a fling, a rebound girl, something that made him realise how much he missed me. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with her and get her… you know what it's not my place to say. I just thought getting him back would be simple. I didn't think I'd have to fight this hard."

"Well so long as you're sure that what you're fighting for is what you want at the end of it. He's not the same person anymore, you just have to decide if that's the man you want to fight for. If you're waiting for him to become who he was then no matter how hard you fight, you'll never get what you want. Just make sure you're getting what will make you happy instead of wasting all this energy on nothing." The resident walked away from her superior, leaving her with her words of wisdom to ponder as she made her way to the lobby to find the man that was once her husband, before he fell in love.

Izzie waited a while before knocking on Meredith's door. She wasn't snoring, so she had to be awake. She entered slowly, poking her head around the door, before holding out a tub of strawberry ice cream and a spoon. Meredith smiled at the gesture, her eyes still red and puffy. She hadn't stopped crying for long, and the only person she wanted was Derek, and he was probably the one person that she couldn't have, maybe not ever. She motioned for Izzie to sit, taking a spoon from her hand as she lifted the lid of the ice cream.

"Feeling any better?" Izzie asked gently, being all too aware of the feelings that came with an unwanted pregnancy.

"A little," she tried to smile at her friend, but couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. "I thought when this was all over I'd have one of them, but instead I have a foetus and neither of them to hold me when I sleep. I was done Izzie. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with one of them, and now I've got neither of them. How am I supposed to raise a baby without a father?"

"You do your best. You do whatever you think is right for you and the baby and the rest doesn't matter. Even if you don't have Derek, you have so many friends and colleagues that will support you through everything, and if you need a man, go find one, there's bound to be someone who wants you and your foetus. And it just might be even more perfect than it could have been with Mcdreamy or the vet. Give yourself some credit. You're giving this baby a shot at life. That's pretty special."

"I'm going to be awful at this, truly awful. I barely had parents. I swore if I ever had kids, there'd be two parents, that I'd be settled and happy. This poor kid gets me as its mom and a lot of aunties and uncles. It's screwed before it's even born."

"Meredith if you don't think Mcdreamy is somewhere trying desperately to decide what he wants to do about this situation, wracking his brains for the perfect solution then you don't know him at all."

"That's the point Iz, how well do I know him?"

Derek had been tossing and turning for hours, he couldn't get Meredith out of his mind, and Addison knew it. She knew he wanted to be the involved, hands on father that she'd always imagined him being, he was just trying to factor his family into it, to find a place for her in his new family.

"Derek, you need to stop thinking about it and get some sleep. She's only a few weeks pregnant, there's no telling how this could play out and we won't know how it feels until we're living it. Stop worrying. Meredith is not about to up and leave with your child. If you want to be involved she'll let you. She's not heartless, she's just a girl who fell for the wrong guy."

"What is my mom gonna say? I move out here, say I'm trying to make it work with you and then get someone else pregnant. She's gonna be so disappointed. I don't know If I can do that to her."

"Derek, she's going to be so much angrier if you don't tell her. All she is going to care about is the fact that her little boy is going to be a father. A good one. No matter where it comes from, she will love that child because it's your child. Go to sleep, and you can talk to her in the morning. Worrying like this is helping no one, especially your patients. Now sleep, or get outside so I can." Derek closed his eyes once more and thought about the bundle of joy that would be with him in around eight months. His child. His and Meredith's child. No one could take away the fact that he would be that child's father. He had created a life, a real perfect little life that he knew would take over every aspect of his life regardless of whether he was the hands-on involved father he'd dreamed of being. He smiled for the first time that day and let sleep finally take him over, his head filled with images of diapers and spit up and late night feedings right up to applauding his child when he graduated Med. School and ran out into the big wide world. Derek knew that he couldn't miss it. Addison was right, they'd make it work. Meredith was having his baby and that meant that he, Derek Shepherd was now and forever, a father.

A/N- Reviews would be awesome! (And i'll continue to delete trolls!)