Elrond is not exactly happy running errands for his king.

Little Green-eyed Monster

Second Age 60, somewhere in the woods

Dear Elros

I am writing this stuck up a tree for the night as the ground is sodding wet after three days of rain. When Aunt Galadriel stormed off, she did not leave behind the recipe for lembas to anyone. Didn't anyone think we will still need lembas after the War? So I am living off Dwarf-bread on my travels, which has the consistency of sandstone. I am cold, wet and hungry here in the woods. I imagine you must be living it up in some fancy palace with your children and grandchildren by now – complete with under-floor heating, fancy canapes and dancing girls to entertain you. Is your bed made of silk and eider-down? I am not envious, seriously.

I am starting to think our kinsman has been sending me on these wild goose chases into the east as his herald to stop me from actually sailing off to find you. Gildor had always been our envoy to the Dwarvish kingdoms inland, I don't understand the sudden re-assignment of duties. I was always sent out to the coastal settlements. Found no trace of Ada Maglor yet. Even if I did, I am not telling you.

I knew I should have volunteered to work in the healing wards or the library in Lindon. That way at least I am sure of a warm bed to sleep in at night. But that would mean I cannot leave the city to look for Maglor. Mixed feelings. I do wonder if he is avoiding me on purpose. Folks think I must hate him for destroying our home and stealing us from our parents. Cousin Gil-galad might be concerned I have Kinslaying on my mind. I don't. I might scream at him for taking off without a word. Perhaps I might hit him in the jaw and kick him in the nuts, but definitely no Kinslaying.

No, they did not catch me sneaking on board one of those ships leaving for the Edain homeland. I was just checking on a friend's baggage to make sure it was safely stowed. You knew her too, very well, I must add. After wearing out Husband no. 5, our merry widow is ready to sail. She has only one tooth left in her head and wears a wig now. Seriously doubt she would make the journey but her granddaughters might. Oh, stay away from those harridans. Trust me on this one.

I wonder if that kingship business is all it is cracked out to be. Gil-galad could not wait to get out of his formal robes once Council is done with. He even plays horseshoes with his crown (in his own rooms, of course). He is proposing a more casual approach to Council-wear, which has been shot down. Only Lord Cirdan gets away with wearing his work-smock straight from the shipyards on account of his years (and the fact the last elf who suggested he considered formal wear ended up taking an impromptu swim in the bay).

Our royal kinsman has announced recently that he has no intent of marrying, which has led to rumours he prefers the company of ellyn to ellyth. I get a lot of funny looks when I visit him in the evenings in his private chambers. Get your filthy mind out of the bog. We have a long-running chess game. Methinks he is sick of young ellyth and their mothers looking on him as a 'catch'. The War is over, Morgoth is in the Void. Apart from the occasional orc, there is little chance of Gil-galad dropping in on Lord Namo, so there really is no pressing need for an heir. King Oropher of the Greenwood does make it a point to show off his strapping son to the Council whenever he visits Lindon. Thranduil is handsome enough I guess, but gossip has it he is utterly inbred. The Sindar did have a tendency for marrying their own, even Aunt Galadriel, but she would hotly deny it.

I do hope you enjoy having aching joints, fading eyesight and other ailments of old age. Let's see, I have compiled a list of old-age ailments common to the Secondborn I am sure you will be savouring now – Rheumatism, arthritics, and embarrassing issues with your plumbing. You probably have an army of healers to deal with them, and a lot of unpleasant pills and potions. Methinks you would look great all wrinkled and with white hair, or better yet, bald. Oh, by the way, you do realize the decline is not solely physical, do you? I hope you are not senile by now.

Snarkily yours

Elrond

Author's Notes:

Elrond will only find out how his brother lived out his years when Tar-Meneldur's son comes sailing back to Middle-earth to re-establish contact with Lindon.

Some irony about Thranduil there – it's not as though they had reasons to become friends at this point.