"Are you ready?", Steve asked.
As if she could say no.
The three of them stood in the elevator and with a cling! and Jarvis' gently voice saying that they reached they're destination the metal doors opened, revealing Tony and Bruce, standing with their backs to the Elevator now looking over their shoulders.

"Oh. My. God.", Tony whispered.
"Here it comes..", Y/N sighted.
"OH HOLY GOD! Look at that! A new record for the oldest antique in this tower has been settled! Step away Rogers, your not the Champ anymore, nor your little icy-friend WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION EVERYONE!", Tony exclaimed loudly, while walking up to her in a fast pace.
"THE NEW CHAMPION, RIGHT OUT OF EUROPE, JUST FOR US TONIGHT, WEIGHTING A 250 POUNDS-"
"Hey!", she laughed at that, till he picked her up bridal style and spun her around happily.
"The oldest, sweetest and sassiest little bitch...oh excuse me, Madame you will find around here!"
"STARK SET ME DOWN!", she laughed.
"NEveR! You left me! For four years!", Tony growled and finally put her down.
She turned around to greed the other person in the room.
"Doctor Banner, nice to see you again.", she smiled, shaking his hand.
"The pleasure is all mine."
"You've been alright lately?"
"Yeah, you really helped me, thank you again for th-"
"I'M NOT DUN WITH YU!", Tony called again, pulling her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground.
"I'm sorry Tony, but i am not your mother, i can't be there all the time! Your a big boy now!"
"Am not! I did so much shit while you were gone!", Tony shouted, muffled into her shoulder, "Rogers, tell her how much shit i did!"
"Positiv. He did a lot of stupid things. Mind your language Stark.", Steve nodded calmly.
Y/N smiled at him.
"Always minding the language, that's my boy!", she said touched, smiling at Steve thankfully.
"I'M YOUR BOY TOO! I'm more your boy than he is your boy!", Tony said.
She laughed and after he let her go; placed a hand at his cheek.
"Yes you are. I missed you all. But i told you to take care of yourself Tony...", she said somehow worried.
"Last time you told me that, i was a teenager!"
"Doesn't change the fact that i did tell you.", she poked his cheek and he softly smiled.

"Do you want to eat anything? Sleep? I made room for you in the 65th floor. I still have all of your stuff and had it washed. You look tired. Better go to sleep and calm down. Mind watching a movie? Or do you need any medicine? Drugs? Any-"
"Tony.", Y/N had to stop him, "I'm good, boy.", she caressed his cheek and Tony felt like he was 7 again.
"You haven't changed at all. Look how old i've gotten.", he sighed and nearly whispered.
"You really do look old. You finally look like you can take care of yourself. Although i think you still can't..."
Tony smiled smuggly.
"Wheres Pepper?"
"We...um...we're having a break. From each other."
Y/n groaned silently. "Oh my what have you done...we'll talk about that? Okay?"
"Okay..."

"Now.", Y/N clapped her hands together and turned around looking at Steve, "Where is he? Let's get to work."
"Now? Already? I...", Steve stumbled over his words.
"You know i like to work fast."
"Yes but...do you think this would be a good idea?"
"Do YOU think he's asleep already?"
"No but..."
"What but?"
"I don't know...maybe you're right. Let's go and see Bucky."


"Buck?"
Bucky looked up. Hearing the voice of his best friend was on of the few things that pulled him out of his daydreams. Although it was evening already.
Are daydreams in the night real dreams? Nightdreams?
He sat on his bed again, reading through a magazine about garden furniture.
Steve appeared in the doorframe, his hand was tangled with a smaller one. The other person stayed behind the door though so Bucky wouldn't see her.

Bucky like to leave his door open. It made him feel...involved. Even though he knew that, as Steve had put it:
"Opening the door to you room doesn't equal socializing!"

"Hey pal, i'm back."
Bucky smiled brightly, but didn't stand up. This other person whoever it was made him nervous.
"I can see that. Had a good flight?"
"Good one indeed, i had nice company.", Steve smiled nervously.

When she pecked around the corner behind his best friend Bucky's heart missed a beat.
Her wide beautiful eyes looked at him with a curiosity he'd never seen before. They were dark circles beneath her eyes, which strangely only made her seem more beautiful. The way her messy hair fell in her face and over these perfect cheekbones made him stare. And these lips, these beautiful lips, colored like dark, fresh blood breathed life into that so...dead looking face.
Bucky gasped quietly, then smiled, then frowned.
She looked...dead. That was the word he was looking for. She looked like a corpse made pretty to look nice in her coffin. So pale, so lifeless and yet such a loving, warm aura surrounded her. His eyes told her that she died a while ago. The soft brown beneath her eyes and on her cheekbones. But he felt her. He felt the spark in her eyes and the soft pink on her cheeks and the air around him. Tingling.
He felt this strange feeling in his tummy.
A soft smile had meanwhile replaced the frown on his face once again and at least a whole minute had passed.

"Good evening Mister Barnes.", her voice was barely a whisper and yet it rang so loud in his head.
Her tone was perfectly balanced between the weak creaking of a dying child and the melodic breath of a beautiful, young woman.
She was so...confusing.
He just stared at her, his eyes wide, his left hand grabbing his blanket.
He let go of the magazine and while it fell she rushed forward from behind Steve and picked it from the ground.
Looking up to him he stared at her again.
She held out the magazine to him but he didn't realize it.
Steve leaned against the door frame, grinning like an idiot.

Bucky opened and closed his mouth again.
"It's a pleasure to meet you.", she smiled softly and he felt his knees weaken. If he hadn't been sitting on his bed he would have needed to grab anything for support by know.
He used all his willpower to lower his gaze to her hand she held out to him but rapidly locked his stare to her eyes again.

She crouched down in front of him.
Looking up, with these huge, dead and yet so alive eyes.
"Do you have visions? Trance? I am real. You can touch me if you want.", she whispered softly with that hoarse voice of hers, which sounded so weakly.
She turned around her hand, spreading her fingers so his could intervene with hers like she did with Steve before.
Bucky wanted to frown again but felt himself unable to do so.
She asked that question as if it was totally normal to ask something like that.
Bucky stared at her hand and back at her.
He wanted to touch her, but a terrible feeling rose in him that he would soil her with doing so.
She wasn't human. He felt that. She felt like...an entity. Like an angel.
Something holy. She spread this...light.

He very slowly reached out his normal hand, looking at her hand as if he was afraid he'd do something wrong.
When he gazed at her again, she nodded.
He felt so weak and strange around her. Moved. Changed. Her presence was dominating everything else.
Every shadow every curve.
It felt so wrong. So evil. He, a shadow himself. He felt extinguished. It hurt although it felt like pure satisfaction.
"Come on James.", she softly spoke.
He noticed he still didn't touch her and finally connected their fingers.
They both looked at that tiny connection and Steve smiled satisfied.

Bucky had a sudden feeling of sickness in him.
He frowned and his head hurt. The light around her began to get brighter and brighter and he pressed his eyes shut.
He felt something warm in his hand. Warm and fluid.
When he reopened his eyes there was blood dripping down her hand beneath her.
It came from his hand. He had blood on his hand. His body was dark black and red and it soiled her, he could see her crumble.
He could see ripped apart wings on her back, bloody and crushed and he could see sharp teeth between her lips while she grinned, like the ones of a poisonous snake -

Bucky pulled his hand back in fear but a sudden movement shook him awake from his visions.
She had grabbed his full hand with hers, smiling at him.
Bucky looked at her and then at Steve. Everything was back to normal again.
She was stronger than he'd though, holding his hand tight.
After this experience, she seemed way more normal to him. Still strangely sick looking, but more normal.

Bucky released a shaky breath.
"What...was that?", he asked nobody in particular.
"Sometimes...people get a little shaken by me. Are you feeling okay?", she asked him.
Her soft hand was gliding around his hand she still held. He could feel two fingers pressing against his wrist, she checked his pulse.
He imagined the hands of this living corpse in front of him to be icy, but she was just as warm as every other person.
"Yeah...i'm okay.", he muttered and looked up to Steve, pleading for help.
Steve understood and came closer to him, to sit next to his bed.
"I am sorry. I can't control it. Everyone reacts differently. The Staring is normal. Everyone needs to get okay with someone so disgustingly dead-looking i guess", she chuckled slightly, but he could hear her pain in it.
He wanted to tell her that he was not disgusted by her but she already spoke again.
"I only once or twice saw someone reacting so violently though...you sure had bad times in your live...", she continued, gliding up and down first his hand then his forearm very slowly and softly.
She didn't look him in the eyes, just on his arm.

"What is she doing?", Bucky asked a little scared and confused, whispering to Steve.
She had her eyes closed and seemed very concentrated in touching him.
He just chuckled. "She's getting used to your presence. Your...chakra...aura...whatever. Your soul."
"Does she do that with everyone?"
"Everyone she needs to know better. She held Romanoffs hand the whole flight.", Steve whispered back and Bucky nodded slowly.

When she opened her eyes she stared into the nothingness. She suddenly seemed very tired and weak.
"You arlight?", Steve asked her caring.
She looked up to her. She was worried. He could tell that.
Her jaw was clenched and her brows narrowed, her full lips pressed together.
She didn't say or do anything though, just looking at Steve and he understood.
"James?", her voice was hoarse again.
"Yes?", he answered carefully.
Her eyes met his again.
"What did you see?", she asked and gulped.
Bucky thought for a while.
"A demon."
She concentrated.
"Is it gone?"
Bucky looked around in the room and she closed her eyes again.
"Yes."
"Good. I feel that too. It's not just one. They'll come back. Tell me when they return, okay James?", she spoke so softly, so slow, like she was hypnotizing him. He loved the way she pronounced his name. It sounded a thousand times better like that.
"Okay."
She squeezed his hand.
"Thank you Bucky."

She and Steve seemed to communicate via eye contact now.
A frown, another frown, a shake of the head, another frown.
"Guys?", Bucky asked carefully and they looked at him.
"Hey Buck um...would you get the lovely lady a chair?", Steve asked and Bucky nodded, getting up and out of the room.

Steve rapidly grabbed her hands and planted a kiss on her hair.
"You're okay darling?"
She looked at him and shook her head.
"This was heavy."
"What do you mean with demons?"
"I mean demons."
Steve was raised by a very religious mother, but he never really believed in ghosts, or demons for that matter. Although he really thought he'd seen an angel when he first met her.
"What now?"
"What now? I'd say if i wasn't one myself we should call a god damn exorcist Steve!", she stood up and walked around the room, examining the ceiling.
"So?"
"They surround him...They're everywhere around him...Depression and anxiety and...", she sighed.
Oh...that was what she meant by demons...or did she?

"Here you go Ma'am.", Bucky stood in the doorway, holding the chair.
When she turned around to smile at him her hair whirled and Bucky had to gulp again.
When he made sure she was comfortable, he sat next to Steve down on his bed and looked at her.
"So...you're here to...help me?", he asked, watching Steve, who just nodded.
"Looks like. Steve called me out of my retirement. I though he'd be the only one of his kind i'd ever take care of but...here you are. Two of your beautiful bastards.", she smirked and Steve chuckled.
Bucky just smiled carefully.

His expression hardened again within seconds.
"But...look. I am grateful you made the efforts to get here and everything but...That's not going to work out.
I'm not good with other people. I need...I don't think you understand.", Bucky sounded harsh and cold and for a second he was worried he hurt her.
She looked down and smirked again.
"Trust me when i say i do understand.", she chuckled.
"No, you don't.", Bucky began to get a little angry. How could she not take this seriously.
"James. Calm down. I probably do."
"I've seen war. I've seen corpses over corpses, and i'm not even talking about what Hydra did, so stop-"
"Seen that.", she simply smiled and it made Bucky's insides hurt.
"How dare you to-", he started again before Steve calmed him.

"Okay...you two. Explanation. Now.", Bucky demanded.
Y/N and Steve looked at each other again, more shy this time
"You tell him.", Steve called.
"Me? What the hell Rogers? You wanted me to come, you tell him. He wouldn't believe ME anyway."
Bucky just glared at her and his friend by now.
"What about her?", Bucky snapped.
"She's...", Steve gestured something with his hands.
"Oh. Okay. Now everything's clear.", Bucky shot again, more pissed this time.
"She...she. She is...old.", Steve finally stated, proud.
Now it was Y/N who looked pissed.
"Oh wow. Thanks Steve. Such a gentleman."
Bucky watched his friend bewildered.
"What the Hell Pal?"
Steve sighted exhausted.

"W-wait..", Bucky seemed to understand, "she's...you're, like us?", he asked and stared at her.
She shook her head.
"Mister Barnes...let me put it like that...", she started and he listened closely, "in comparison to me, you are nothing more than a...6 year old maybe."
Bucky stared at her and then at Steve in disbelief.
"What do you mean? What does she mean Steve?"

"She can't die. Simple as that.", Steve stated and exhaled a breath he didn't knew he held.
"She...you can't...what?", Bucky chuckled now, "What do you mean you CAN'T die?"
"I can't.", there was sorrow in her eyes and voice, "I simply can't. There's not much to say about it."
"Nothing? Nothing can kill you?", Bucky asked, suddenly somehow fascinated.
"Not that i'd knew."
"Bullets? Knifes?"
"None of it."
"Can you drown?"
"I tried that before. It is only painful. Very very painful.", she said.
Bucky felt the urge to ask about the -tried it before- part, but felt like it wasn't the right thing to do.
"Can you hang yourself?"
"Tried that too. Nope."
"Fire?"
"I was burned pretty badly once, to the point were my right arm was nearly gone...it just recovered."

Bucky thought for a few seconds.
"Do you...Age?"
She stared into his icy blue eyes for a long while before saying the magic word.
"No. But you don't either so don't you judge me mister."
She smirked.

Bucky leaned back and gulped.
"Well...that is not quite right though. I aged till my body was about 21. The age were the human body is fully developed. At it's peak you could say. After the age of 21 more cells die than being produced. The body slowly fades away. Not me though."
Bucky's eyes widened.
"21 hum?", he asked, checking her out in the most obvious way. She looked at him but simply busted out laughing.
"DUDE!" Steve shouted, while Bucky smirked at her, "That's the first thing you ask?!"
Steve caught himself chuckling too.
Y/N held her tummy and bend over the chair, trying to breathe. Bucky couldn't stop smirking at her.
"I mean...damn.", he whispered and Steve had to laugh even more, tears in his eyes.
He was happy. After a long time Steve felt really happy again. That was his Bucky. His Buck.

After a while it went silent and she sat back in her chair, her legs spread slightly and she stared at the ceiling, panting, smirking from time to time.
Bucky swiftly licked his lips and Steve pushed him a little, both still grinning.
"I just mean.", Bucky exhaled to compose himself, "You...look a little older. Not in a bad way. You look...good.", he nodded while saying that. She smiled softly.
"Thanks. Haven't heard that in quite a while. Hope you aren't lying although i think i'm desperate enough to be grateful for even that.", she smiled, again a little sadly.
Bucky frowned. Was she serious? She was hot as hell and still seemed so insecure of herself.

"Back to business...", Steve sounded cold and a little worried and Bucky nodded.
"You did live back then...right?", Bucky asked, "in the second world war."
"Feels like last week, yeah...I've been a soldier myself."
"You were?"
"Well more than that actually.", she seemed kind of...distanced now.
"Really? Which division where you in?", Bucky's eyes gleamed with happiness. This was something he knew about and he felt great to be able to talk to someone besides Steve about it.
"Uhm..Bucky", Steve held his friend back, looking him in the eye, "She was...not exactly in...our team one could say."
"Oh...", Bucky frowned, "You were with the Russians then..."
"Ehm...no not exactly. I despised them and their system to be honest.", she forced a smile.
"But...oh...oh...OH you...Oh...", Bucky seemed to be a little shocked, "You..."
"Yes.", she answered, "Führungsstab der Schutzstaffel. One of Hitlers best man so to say.", she nodded regretful.
He went a little pale.
"Okay. But that was long ago Bucky. She's not on that path anymore.", Steve tried to calm him.
It didn't work. Buckys jaw clenched.
"You're a goddamn Nazi?"
She sighted. "I am not a Nazi."
"Then hurry. i give you two minutes to explain yourself or I will kick your ass outta here myself.", he gritted his teeth.
"I joined them for the sake of my country. If you didn't notice, or they didn't tell you over there, Germany was fucked after Worldwar one, which wasn't our fault by the way, but thats a story for another day. I found like in them because i liked their ideas. Their way of economy. Their way of bringing a shattered place of earth together again, their way of getting the thousands and thousands of starving children off the streets. When all this jew madness started, i helped to bring them to their downfall. If Hitler hadn't shot himself I would've done it that day.", she explained calmly and he seemed less tensed.
"Where you with Hydra? Did you help Hydra?", he hissed and she could see the pain in his eyes.
"No. Never. I visited of their facilities quite often. But just because it was an order. It was the time they experimented with me. It wasn't nearly that bad than what they did to you though. That's it. They were responsible for the...experimental side. I was responsible for the field. I was out there, killing dozens of Russians, French people, and Americans. That's what i did. I did it in the first war, i did it in the second war. I followed commands and i served my country. If you can't accept that. Okay. But just let me remind you, that you did just the same thing James.", she spoke calm and her eyes seemed to be very understanding of him.
"Can you forgive me that?"

He looked at her and exhaled deeply.
"It's...it's Bucky."
"What?"
"Call me Bucky please.", he muttered and looked away, blushing slightly.
She smiled.
"Okay Bucky."
When he looked back at her, something wasn't alright.
She seemed to get even paler, her body carefully rocking back and forth, barely noticeable, her hands slightly trembled and her gaze seemed...weak.
This was the winter soldier inside of him. He would notice every detail. No matter how small.
"Are you okay?", Bucky carefully asked and she slowly nodded.
"Yes...just a little tired.", she smiled and Bucky looked at Steve for support. Steve simply frowned.

"One last question", Bucky asked, worried this time.
"Shoot."
"How long."
She inhaled and closed her eyes.
"How long are you...around already?", Bucky asked again.
"I...You see Bucky...your problem is that you tend to forget things from your past. My head...", she touched it, as if she wanted to rip it away, "...my problem is that i remember too much."
"What do you remember?", Buckys voice seemed small from his compassion.
She seemed so troubled, so weak right now. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close, wrapping his arms around her body, kissing her forehead and humming her to sleep till sh-
"I...", her voice dragged him out of his thoughts, she seemed to get more and more tired with every word.
"I remember fearing for my life in the cold war. I remember the post war time, shattered and wounded, raped and punished by both Americans and Russians for being the looser of this game.
I remember the piles of dead bodies. Children, Men, Women. I remember the smell of their burning corpses in Auschwitz. I remember demonstrating for a better world, thinking i was doing the right thing. I remember the trenches in Verdun. Filled with rats and corpses and standing in blood and guts and mud and the soldiers trying to keep themselves alive with the rotten body parts of their fallen comrades. I remember what i've seen. And heard. And all the smells and tastes..."
"Y/N...it's okay...calm down.", Steve reached out holding her hand.
She turned a little, grabbing a cigarette from her pocket.
"Not good for your health.", Steve barked and she chuckled bitterly.
"It won't kill me.", she said and lightened it,
"I remember the stench of the industrial revolution. I remember the very first cars and how they scared me. Small soft bleeding hands of children pushing buttons and working with sharp machines till they dropped dead. I remember the European wars. All the revolutions. I remember the french revolution. The youth standing on barricades, trying to fight for a better future, being shot down one after another. I remember the revolution in Art. All the poems and I still feel the fire in these words when i read them today.
I remember the american revolution. The rising of your beautiful country. I remember the wind in my hair on that ship that brought me there. And the splashs of water at the Tea Party. I remember the Reformation, the first time i held the bible in my hands, not written in latin.
I remember the Renaissance.
The streets of Firenze and Roma and the Borgias and the Medicis and Leonardo's smile whenever i would visit him to watch him work and chat with him.
I remember...the black death. I remember the Inquisition. I remember the noises these women made while being burned and the forests at night.
I remember the war, that went on for one hundred years between France and Great Britain.
I remember the first time i heard a canon being shot.
And i remember the crusades.
I remember Jerusalem.", She started coughing.

Bucky just stared. Not at her. he stared at nothing. Thinking.
If this was true. Then there was a history book right in front of him, a wandering, living-
He was yet again pulled out of his dream land.
The coughing didn't stop. Steve had by now pushed himself of the bed and crouched down next to her, pressing her on him.
She stopped coughing for a second and looked at Bucky. There was blood on her hand and dripping down her lips and Bucky froze.
"Babe? Hey Baby, stay calm, TONY! Stay calm Girl, everything's gonna be okay, just breathe JARVIS! TONY! SOMEONE!", Steve tried to calm her and call for help at the same time and suddenly Bucky broke out of his trance and shot up, rushing for the door.

A sudden touch made him stop. Her hand reached out to him, smearing blood at his trousers. He stared at her in shock.
She coughed again but wouldn't let him go. He had no idea what she suffered from and panicked even more. He hadn't even touched her and she was breaking down. He really only spread problems and pain.
A sudden, sweet laugh made him stop walking and Steve stop shouting.
She grinned tiredly.
"It's just...calm down boys. I'm okay. I just need some sleep. Please don't get Stark. He'll call all the medics again and it will be terrible.", she coughed but still smiled.
Her hand let go of Bucky and trailed up Steves Back who was still holding her, caressing him.
"I'm sorry i ruined your trousers Bucky. I'll get you some new ones i swear in the name of Captain America.", another high laughter.
Bucky found himself smiling at her. Steve was still questioning her state though.
"Calm down Stevie. I just started coughing sweetheart. I'm fine.", with her clean hand she poked his cheek and kissed his forehead.
"You sure?"
"Yes. The cancer kicks in from time to time. Guess i need some new lungs...again...", she sighed snickering, "i am very tired superman. Would you mind helping an old lady to her bed?"
Steve smiled softly.

Bucky just stared in shock.
"Cancer?!"
"Don't worry Buck. It won't kill me", she winked and smiled weakly. "It just makes me cough and ruins my lipstick and hot fellas trousers.", she pointed at his jeans and Bucky chuckled.
"I'm sorry but i think our session is finished for today...", she said, "I know...live is hard...but...i lived through all these times, i know what it feels like to... well to loose everything and start anew. So...would you take me?", her voice was soft but firm.
Bucky blinked a few times.
"Give me at least a chance Bucky. I coul-"
"Yes.", Bucky stuttered, "i mean. Of course. Yes. It would be great to...just spent some time together and...it really like to hear some storys and stuff like that.", he tried to smile.
"Sounds good. Alright. See you tomorrow then Buck.", she hummed.

"Okay, say goodbye Buck, I'll bring her to her room."
With that Steve suddenly lifted her up like she didn't weight more than a kitten.
"Hey! I'm strong enough to walk you know. I could still kick both of your asses!"
"Enough of that today Darling. Bed. Now.", Steve chuckled.
Bucky stared at them. A little flustered.
"Night...but..um...Steve will you..."
"Yeah?"
"Will you stay with her tonight?", It hurt him to ask for something like that. He wanted to be the one to lay with this woman till the rest of his life an-
What was he thinking?
"Just...in case something happens.", he added.
Steve chuckled.
"Nah. She won't even let me give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek. She'd slit my throat if i'd think about sleeping next to her."
Bucky calmed and tensed strangely at the same time.
Was this good or bad for him?
"Good boy.", Y/N whispered weakly.
"Can we go to bed now?"
"Sure thing Darling. See ya tomorrow pal.", Steve waved goodbye.
"Sweet dreams Buck!", she hummed and her hand touched his one last time before the both of them disappeared into the hallway.