Since that prologue was barely a chapter...

Lily Evans supposed that she had been somewhat of a dreamer as a child. She and her sister would develop elaborate fantasies and spend hours acting them out. But when she was nine, she met Severus, and he told her about a reality – her reality – that was crazier than anything she could ever dream. From that day on, Lily became much more a realist, as she dealt with impacts of this astounding realization, and all of the astounding moments that came after it.

When Lily woke up, she wasn't aware of much, but she knew that she had not had a single dream the night before. She was surprised when she opened her eyes to find that she was lying in her bed in her dormitory, just like she would be on any other morning.

The surprise was instantly replaced by a pounding headache.

Lily groaned loudly.

"Awake, are you?" a voice called from the other side of the room.

"What the bloody hell…" Lily tried to say, but her voice was hoarse. (Her breath also tasted horrifically disgusting.) She pulled her blankets back over her head to hide from the light. Her body was sore and heavy, her muscles tight and exhausted. It was like everything hurt – especially her head.

Lily heard very loud footsteps approaching her bed and then the voice said, "Here, drink this."

Lily peeked back out and laboriously took the flask from Marlene, who was looking at her with a mix of amusement and concern. Lily took a long sip of the potion. It tasted of pineapple and bubble gum. Instantly, she felt some of the color return to her cheeks and her headache began to subside.

"Better?" Marlene asked.

"Loads." Lily pushed some stray locks out of her eyes. "What happened last night?"

It was the first time that Lily had ever asked that question. It was the first time she had ever woken up and not known what she had done the night before. Sure, there had been a couple of times in the past when Lily had gotten a little bit too drunk off of Firewhiskey at a party, but it had never been like this before.

"That's a really good question," Marlene responded, turning on her heel and flouncing back to her bed, her short blonde hair reflecting the sunlight that streamed through the windows.

Lily sat up and took another sip of the potion Marlene had given her. "What do you mean?"

Marlene sat down on her bed and looked at Lily. "You crawled up the staircase at four in the morning, hours after the rest of us had gone to bed. You were giggling like an insane person, and you wouldn't tell us what and possibly who you'd been off doing. I was quite impressed."

Lily thought back, but could remember absolutely none of this. The last thing she really remembered was talking to Remus on the couch about something… but that couldn't have been much later than 11. After that – only snippets of laughter, a hand (whose hand?) touching hers, touching her, dark hallways that made her dizzy. "Wait, what do you mean who I'd been off doing?"

Marlene laughed, then stopped when she saw how upset Lily was getting. "Um, maybe you should wait till Elizabeth gets back and ask her." Marlene started fussing with the sheets on her bed.

"Mar, please."

Marlene took a deep breath. "Elizabeth says that the last time she saw you, you were leaving the Common Room."

"With who?" Lily braced herself for the worst possible answer.

"With James," Marlene said softly.

And right there, sitting in her bed, still half-dressed in the clothes she had worn the night before and with a still throbbing headache, Lily had just gotten the worst possible answer.


If Lily had had it her way, she would have spent the next week playing the Avoid-James-Potter game. It wouldn't have been the first time, either. She had played it a few times before during fifth year after some of their larger fights. It wasn't really a fun game because Potter had this way of detecting her from across the castle (Lily suspected he might have a bloodhound hidden in his room), and she hardly ever won. But after confirming with Elizabeth that she had seen Lily and James leaving the common room (and that Elizabeth had only had one drink and wasn't insane and that she'd tried to go after them), Lily was ready to start playing again.

Unfortunately, there was a new obstacle that hadn't existed in fifth year.

Never had Lily hated Dumbledore more than she hated him that week for having made James Potter Head Boy.

Lily had been fine when she had first found out that James was her co-Head. She had to admit that he had made a lot of improvement over sixth year, but she was still a bit surprised by Dumbledore's decision. The boy probably held some record for the highest number of detentions in a single Hogwarts career. But Lily tried her best to give him a chance at proving that he could be a good Head Boy and set a good example.

He had been pretty good about it so far. He was very good about staying on top of patrols and getting the Prefects to run their patrols. He made it to every meeting, even around Quidditch practices. He still got a couple of detentions (which was probably new for a Head Boy), but he seemed to be doing a pretty good job. Lily didn't even dread the time they spent patrolling every week. When Potter was being rational enough, they were able to have some really interesting conversations, especially given their vastly different perspectives.

But after "that night," Lily never wanted to look at him again.

He might remember more than she did about what had happened between them – if she really had left the Common Room with him, and if they had actually stayed out together until four in the morning. He might know what had happened. He might be expecting something from her. He might make fun of her.

Lily was also pretty much ready to never have alcohol again in her life.

But when they set out from the Gryffindor Common Room on Monday night, Potter didn't seem to be acting differently at all. He was acting like this was a normal patrol, like nothing had changed between them.

Still, Lily had to make sure. So after they had been walking for a few minutes, she said as casually as possible, "You did a really good job during Saturday's game." Her heart was racing.

"Oh, thanks. Did you like that last minute goal?" Potter smirked. He was always most smug when talking about his Quidditch skills.

"Yeah, it was okay. It was really O'Ryan's dive for the snitch that stole the game, but I mean…" Lily teased uneasily. "Did you go to the party on Saturday night?"

Potter gave her a strange look. "'Course I did."

"Oh."

"You didn't see me?"

"I-I don't remember," Lily said.

"Wait, you don't remember, or you don't remember?" James asked. When Lily's only response was her cheeks turning as pink as the roses Hagrid grew, James smiled. "Whoa, call the Daily Prophet, Head Girl Evans got so pissed at a party that she can't remember what happened. This is big news."

"Oh, shut it." Lily tried her best to stare straight forward, but she knew her cheeks were turning redder and redder.

Potter laughed, and his laugh echoed through the empty halls. "Relax, Evans, I don't remember that night either."

Lily looked back at him. "You don't?"

Potter shook his head.

"At all?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I just… never mind," Lily said. She pulled open the doors to a cupboard they were passing and was all too relieved to find a couple of fourth-years sticking their tongues down each other's throats.


Lily didn't really want to give up the topic, but she didn't see what else she could really do about it, and if Potter didn't care, was there merit to her caring? Still, she had trouble focusing on her homework that night as she wondered what could have happened.

"Hey Lils," Elizabeth said, throwing her stuff down onto the chair next to Lily's. Lily had almost forgotten that she was sitting in the middle of the library, and she sat up straight, trying to make it look like she had been doing work.

"Hey. Oh, uh, how did your meeting with McGonagall go?"

Elizabeth frowned. "Not well. Apparently with the way my grades have been going, my career options are going to be limited to putting wands on the shelf at Ollivander's and driving the Knight Bus."

Elizabeth really was very pretty, even when she was that upset. Her eyes were a shocking blue that popped especially against her dark, curly hair. She was even more beautiful when she was laughing, though. Her laugh was one of her favorite qualities about herself, especially her ability to laugh at herself. Lily admired that about her. Lily had trouble laughing at herself.

"Aw, Beth, you'll figure something out, I'm sure. Plus, working at Ollivander's sounds like an awesome job no matter what you're doing," Lily said.

"But my sister works at the Ministry! My parents are going to be so disappointed!"

"No, they won't. They're going to support you in whatever you decide to do." Lily was being completely truthful here. She'd stayed over at Elizabeth's house multiple times, and Beth's parents were some of the nicest people she knew. "If it would help, I could give you some extra Potion lessons, too."

Elizabeth looked up at Lily, her blue eyes shining. "Could you? Oh, Lily, that would be bloody amazing."

"Yeah, I mean, we'll have to do some schedule-comparing to find time, but I'm sure we could make something work. But really, don't stress. You'll figure it all out."

"Thanks, Lily! You're the best!" Elizabeth gave her friend a quick hug and practically ran out of the library, earning a hush from Madame Pince because apparently her shoes were too loud.

Lily stared after her for a few long, silent moments.

"Ain't that just the darnedest thing?"

Lily jumped and turned to find Potter lurking in between two bookshelves, a book in his hand, but he was clearly not paying an ounce of attention to it. He had one of those looks that scared Lily, but she wasn't really sure why.

"Spying again? I thought you had stopped doing that," Lily chastised lightly.

"Not spying, accidentally overhearing. And I couldn't just walk away from that beautiful scene without telling you how much I admire you for that valiant sacrifice. Lily Evans should be christened a saint right now." His joking tone didn't reach his eyes. Yes, that's why it scared Lily. His eyes were hard.

"Shut it, Potter," Lily said, picking up her quill.

Potter walked around her table so he was standing behind her. "Evans, you were sitting here forty-five minutes ago when I got here, and you haven't even finished a paragraph. I think you should give up."

"And how much work have you gotten done?" Lily snapped. "Why should I take advice on essays from someone who doesn't even write essays?"

"I write essays."

"Hardly."

"Your lack of faith in me is simply horrendous. I'd expect more from my co-Head."

Lily smacked her books down on her desk and stood up so that she was staring him in the eyes and his eyes still didn't look like he was joking.

"You know what, Potter?"

A hush came from Madame Pince's desk.

Lily wasn't even screaming though.

"I think I will go back to my room. Right now."

"Have fun. Don't think about me too much," Potter said, still smiling.

Lily turned and packed her bag furiously. She gave Potter one last, unhappy smile and then set off through the library.

"Wait, Evans!" Potter called softly. When Lily stopped and turned impatiently, he continued. "Have you heard the rumor that we snuck out of the castle and went to France this weekend?"

Lily froze. Literally. She could feel the cold blood sliding through her veins, and it seemed from the lack of beating coming from her heart that soon there would be no blood in her veins. She looked up at Potter and sucked in every ounce of everything she had. "That's absolutely ridiculous."

Potter smiled, and his eyes relaxed. "That's what I said. Seems like some of the gossipers around here have finally gone off the deep end. As if you would ever go to Paris with me."

Lily examined his face for a moment, but couldn't understand what she saw there. Was it hope? Was it disbelief? Was it all a joke? Did he know something? Finally, she just said, "Yeah. As if. See you tomorrow." And then she left.