Mark's POV

"Mo?" I asked. She was staring down at the menu and I could tell something was wrong. "Maureen?" She finally heard me and looked up "Any idea what you wanna eat yet?" I asked. The waiter was standing there. I had just placed my order and he was only waiting on Maureen.

"Oh.. sorry… uh… um… green salad. No dressing." She answered. "Thank you" she said handing the waiter the menu. "So, Marky… how have you been?" She said turning her head to me.

"I've been okay. I've been missing it over here. I miss you and Jo and Collins. How are you? Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay" She smiled her fake smile. God I hate that smile.

"You know. That smile can fool anyone else but it can't fool me."

"No really. I'm fine. I promise you."

"Yeah? Bullshit." I couldn't take it anymore. I knew there was something really wrong and I couldn't keep just sitting there taking it

"Pookie, I'm fine I ju…" Pookie. Ugh. I hate that nickname. I thought.

"You're fine? Yeah okay that's why you're a fucking toothpick again and you're giving me that stupid fake smile that you know I hate. What's happened to you Mo? I'm worried about you. You're not your usual self."

"What are you talking about Mark? I've just been sick. That's it"

"Green salad no dressing? C'mon Maureen. I've known you forever. This is how you used to eat when you…"

"Mark. I'm fine. I'm just sick okay? Its not my problem if you don't believe me and its not my problem that you don't have someone to worry about every second" She said grabbing her bag and jacket. "I'm not Roger, Mark. I'm fine and I don't need you" She walked out of the restaurant.

I sat there stunned for a minute. How dare she bring up Roger? She's not herself. She would never be so insensitive. Especially about Roger. I thought as I picked up my jacket and scarf and left the restaurant.

Maureen's POV

How dare he? I haven't seen him in over a year and all of a sudden he waltzes in treating me like Roger. I thought to myself in the elevator in Joanne's office building. I decided to stop by and surprise her. I needed a pick me up after my little visit with Mark.

"Come In." I heard Joanne's voice call on the other side of the door.

"Hey Pookie! How's work going?" I said walking in to the office. She was on the phone with someone and told me to hang on. Her office was just her style, cold and impersonal. She had exactly 2 pictures on her desk, one of all of us at the Life after my protest and one of her parents.

"Yeah okay. I'll meet you later and we'll talk about it. I will. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll be there. Thanks. Bye." I heard her say. She hung up the phone and jotted something down in her planner as I sat down on the other side of her desk.

"Hey honey. Is everything okay?" Joanne asked.

"Yeah. I was just around and bored and decided to drop by. Wanna play hooky and go watch a movie or something?" I said with a big smile.

"You know I can't Maureen. I'm busy honey. I have a lot to do and now I have an important meeting later on this afternoon."

"Oh, so all that is more important than I am?"

"You know that's not true Maureen but one of us has to make money. I'm too busy for this" Joanne said as she picked up the phone and started to dial a number.

"Yeah. I know. You're too busy for me." I said, picked up my purse and walked out of her office slamming the door behind me.

I was sitting in our room later that afternoon thinking about the day's events. I felt more depressed as each minute went by. Thoughts in my head were swimming around. The thoughts that I hated started to get stronger and stronger until I couldn't handle it anymore. I went over to the dresser and reached for a little wooden box I've had since high school. It was just a simple wooden box that I had painted light pink and glued scrabble pieces on it to spell out my name. I took all my bracelets and random jewelry out of it until it was empty. There was a piece of green cloth lining the bottom. I pulled up the cloth to reveal a few razor blades and some gauze. I picked up one of the blades and just stared at it for a second. My arms tingled in need and anticipation. I hate when they do that. I can't handle it when they do that. I sat on the bed breathing deeply for a few seconds. My arms kept tingling. I pulled up my sleeve and lowered the blade to my pale skin adorned with scars and healing cuts. I felt the familiar sting and the relief it brought. In that one second, the weight of the world felt lighter. Suddenly everything wasn't so hard to handle. I did a few more before pressing some gauze up against my arm and lowering my sleeve. I put the blade back to rest in the box and returned the box to its spot on the dresser. I laid on the bed and next thing I knew I was being woken up by Joanne shaking me.

"Honey, wake up." I heard her say "C'mon. Wake up." She said. I slowly opened my eyes.

"Ugh. What time is it?" I asked sitting up.

"11:30-ish" She answered

"Did you just get home?"

"Yeah I had something come up I had to deal with. Mark's in town. We went to dinner and talked. I think you and I need to talk now." She said and my heart sank. I felt a sudden panic.

"About what? I'm tired I wanna go back to sleep." I answered lying back down.

"You know what about. Mark told me about lunch today."

"What about it? We got in to a fight. No big deal."

"Maureen, you're not eating."

"Yes I am. I just don't eat much when I'm sick. I've been sick. You know that."

"Maureen, look at you. I'm worried about you baby. You've changed."

"Oh so now I'm important? Now that you think something is wrong you have time for me? Now I matter? It doesn't work like that. I matter all the time or I don't matter at all…"

"It has nothing to do with that Maureen. I work hard for you, to provide for you. I love you. You need help."

"I need you to be too busy for me like you normally are." I said getting up and walking out of the room. Joanne came out after me. She grabbed my arm to stop me and I flinched in pain.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, that hurt. Let go of me" I said. She obeyed and I took off running. I ran as fast as I could out of our building. I just ran as if my life depended on it. My life did depend on it. The life I knew at that point at least. I knew that if Joanne found out about my addictions I wouldn't have them to protect me so I ran.