July 12, 2016 3:28 am
July 16, 2016, 00:25
EDITED: July 15, 2017, 13:21 a/n: I went back to edit grammars and cringe. NOT AN UPDATE. Sorry! Not a new chapter, the site is messing with me.
WARNING: I do not hold back with my curse words. Can't control myself.
A/N: This is cross posted everywhere if some of you preferred reading on that platform.
Typeacety95: Judging from your comment, you're definitely a reader from my first sasunaru fic..gahh kill me now, I can't. I'm so terribly embarrassed and happy you stuck to my fics for that long. Thank you for reading lol, I'll write Itachi in this story as a dedication to you. 3
•••••••••••••
Chapter 2: Deadly Aim
(those who skipped straight to the story and haven't heard. I apologize. No offers of promises with updates.)
Did Naruto ever mention there was a huge ass hole on his wall? Broken down by his landlord because she wanted to get a bunch of squirrels out to safety? Because of that, Sasuke was currently freeloading on Naruto's couch and picking a fight every now and then. Naruto did mention it, somewhere. Not to add the fact that he was shot in the leg and attacked by two gunmen in the span of 48 hours, WHILE off work. He got bitten by so many squirrels he lost count. His neighbor turned out to be a gun obsessed, psychopathic "bodyguard" who owned a few millions worth of sniping rifles. He didn't even know where to begin suing.
Naruto didn't think things can get worse. Until he made a mistake of socializing too much and got under Sasuke's skin. In the wrong way.
'Talk a lot' they said, 'make friends with everyone and good things will happen' they said. See where that got Naruto. On the windy roof of their apartment complex at 6 in the damn morning that's where. He was still in his pajamas for heaven's sake. It was not going to bring him down, however. Naruto was an optimistic man. he saw the glass half full not empty and the world as a home and not a house but all this crap is starting to-
"I beg to differ," Sasuke spoke suddenly and closing the metal doors leading down into the building.
Apparently, Naruto hadn't said all of that in his head as he originally thought.
"The world is neither a home nor a house. It's Earth, a planet human has no choice but to survive in," Sasuke corrected and snatching the rifle out of Naruto's hands. "And it's not considered freeloading if you used my damn money to pay for every useless shit."
Details, details, Sasuke liked to bring up such useless topics. He did, however, had a point, Naruto couldn't really win either argument there. Instead, he watched Sasuke reloaded the rifle, looking through the scope at something.
"What are you doing?" Naruto asked, not out of curiosity but suspicion. The rifle was seemingly pointed at a bird lodged on the power line.
"Testing," Sasuke barely mumbled as he threw the rifle back to Naruto without warning. There was a brief moment, Naruto noticed Sasuke looking fondly toward his direction. Holy hell, perhaps Sasuke had a crush on him?
"That gun," Sasuke sighed with a slight smile. "Was one of my very first, shoots as far as 1800 meters. It was beautiful seeing its bullets rips through people."
"Oh." Naruto came to a conclusion the rifle he's holding might as well be Sasuke's first love.
"Come here," Sasuke ordered, gesturing for Naruto to follow as they strolled to the edge of the roof.
They both crouched behind the ledge, looking down the busy streets beneath them. A beautiful view in the early morning. Naruto would've enjoyed it if not for the fact that he was up here to snipe. Naruto wasn't one to 'aim', let alone snipe. It was an absurd concept. He and sniper in one sentence were already odd itself.
"The first step to accurate sniping is to stop shaking like a leaf," Sasuke said, grabbing Naruto's rifle and setting it up for him.
"It's freezing up here, what do you want me to do?" Naruto retorted bitterly. He was a night assassin, a blade user. It was his constant movement keeping him warm on cold nights, sniping isn't going to bake the cake or stop world hunger.
"Here," Sasuke said, throwing a jacket at Naruto as he set up his own sniping rifle.
Naruto gladly caught it, noting a slight scent of bullets and metal. It was in the same gym bag as Sasuke's rifles. Fuck, Naruto loved it.
"Since you offered," Naruto spoke quickly and slipping on the jacket. "Remember, I didn't beg for it."
Smelled kind Sasuke's closet too, once he got past the complicated smell. The man needn't to know Naruto's been in his closet before either.
"Don't punch me," Sasuke said, moving behind Naruto and wrapping his arms around the blond to show him the 'proper' way of holding the rifle. It was cliché...and warm, and romantic and done on purpose. Or Naruto liked to assume.
It felt like they're a couple, and Sasuke was Naruto's deadly knight on a horse with a gun tucked in his belt.
"And then, you do this, put this part between your shoulder and collar," Sasuke explained, returning to his own gun. Ending Naruto's love fairy tale unfairly quick. Which was good because Naruto sort of want to be the one riding the horse and wearing the armor-"and aim, and do this, then this, then just shoot."
Something in the distance pops.
Naruto might be crazy and overdramatic for saying this but Sasuke just shot a lost balloon without looking.
"Alright, you try it," Sasuke urged, and pointed to an innocent wine bottle on the roof three buildings away.
Naruto simply stared at the man with a straight face. Sasuke was exactly like his first-grade teacher. Telling them one plus one equals two and not explaining the reason so. The logic of math he said. He didn't even know what the word logic means. Naruto had to single-handedly go home and searched it up.
"Sure, why not," Naruto sighed, looking through the scope and aimed for the wine bottle. He gripped the rifle closer, the butt pressed firm above the right side of his chest. Naruto huffed. Holding his breath and pulled the trigger.
He missed.
"Naruto, it isn't even moving," Sasuke scolded. "Try again."
Naruto frowned and looked through the scope to aim. He gave the trigger a flick.
Missed.
The bullet lodged inside the building's walls instead.
"Again."
He did and missed.
"You need to calm down and make sure the target is in the center, how hard can that be?"
Apparently, very fucking hard.
"Again."
Sasuke is a slave driver.
Naruto shot so many bullets, it accumulated into a detailed art of a sad face on the wall. Barely visible three buildings away but it was there. He looked over to Sasuke with a crooked grin of his own.
Sasuke sighed but nodded approvingly anyways.
"That red cup on the balcony," he pointed and Naruto's eyes followed. Three buildings away but on a lower level. Harder.
"I got it, babe," Naruto smirked, confidence spiked.
"Don't think I wouldn't shoot you dead right here, Uzakichi," Sasuke warned at the mention of the nickname.
Naruto rolled his eyes, relaxed and let his hand wandered near the trigger. Aiming through the scope until the target is on perfect point.
He fired. The bullet ripped through the air and the recoil printed a bruise on his skin. It popped the plastic red cup in half, water splattered over the dry balcony. Their celebration cut short when the bullet continued flying past the cup. It flew fast and the next thing they knew, the clothing store's huge glass window shattered. Raining shards of transparent blades into the sky. The sunlight gleamed and reflected off each and every one of it. The bullet went on to shoot a person dead on the forehead. Both Sasuke and Naruto watched with a blank expression. Waiting and assessing, as the man fell to the floor, motionless.
"This might be the best aim I've seen coming from you," Sasuke muttered, leaning forward to get a closer look but it was quite far away.
"Forget the aim," Naruto murmured in awe, "how strong is that bullet?!"
They laughed. High fived. Sasuke's congratulating pat on Naruto's back. It took them awhile, laughter ceasing as they both paused at the same time. They turned to stare lazily at one another.
Realization hit, smiles dropped. A human killed outside of work. Perfectly illegal.
Sasuke was quick to react. Packing his guns into the gym bag.
"What do I do?!" Naruto panicked and watching Sasuke, who was surprisingly calm. "I killed him!"
"I don't know about you," Sasuke mumbled quickly as he slung the gym bag over his shoulder. "But I'm moving to Hawaii and starting my retirement. Early."
"You're fucking crazy you know that?!" Naruto said in distressed, following the man down the stairs from the roof. "Take me with you!"
"Fuck no! Three years of your annoying ass and I'm already this insane."
Naruto gasped. A traitor was Sasuke's real identity. It was three years and two months! The bastard forgot their damn anniversary. Talk about unfaithful.
"Insane or not, how can you be so calm? We just killed an innocent civilian!" Naruto screeched after Sasuke and clinging onto his shirt.
"Correction!" Sasuke scowled and whipping around, effectively shoving Naruto away. "YOU killed an innocent civilian."
Oh, now they were doing the blame game. Why is this not new?
"It's your gun!" Naruto retorted as they scampered down the hall to their apartments. "And if anything, they'll check the fingerprints on that bullet first!
He paused to give a devilish grin, "and guess who it belongs to? Sasuke you're a genius!"
The door to Naruto's apartment was already unlocked, both pouring in. Shoving one another to enter first.
"I've developed a habit from a young age to never reload with my bare hands," Sasuke said simply, speed walking through the hole to his side of the apartment and away from his problems. Possibly going to hide his guns.
"Sasuke! You can't be serious!" Naruto whined, clinging to the raven again. This can't be real.
"Naruto!" Sasuke scowled and turned to glare at the blond. "I am freaking out right now! Let me think!"
Fuck 'thinking'. Instead of doing something useless, how about they start buying plane tickets? It was Sasuke's money they'll spend anyway.
Naruto stayed silent and ran to his window, face plastered against the glass. He squinted while looking at the store he shot earlier.
"Not good, police cars!"
"We're going out, dress to blend in," Sasuke said in finalization, already running to his apartment to hide the guns.
Naruto felt helpless but nodded anxiously anyways.
•••••••••••••
"Pull down your hood, we look like thugs, you moron," said Sasuke, who was walking down the sunny, colorful, crowded streets in all gloomy black and dark sunglasses.
Ironic.
"Sorry, I'm a bit paranoid right now," Naruto grumbled, pulling down his hood and stroking his fake mustache just to make sure it was still on. He didn't want it dropping on him the moment they reached the crime scene. Talk about suspicious.
"What are we going to do once we get there, boss?" Naruto said out of humor but he was more serious than the dead.
"No idea," Sasuke said in a low voice so only Naruto could hear. "Haven't thought that far."
Naruto groaned. So much for having a 'genius' neighbor. This wasn't a plan. They were criminals voluntarily turning themselves in.
"We'll assess the situation," Sasuke whispered, leaning closer to Naruto's ears. "And if shit gets really bad, we beat up one of the officers and take their uniform. Sneak in and get rid of the evidence."
Commit more crimes. Sasuke never disappointed.
"But what if we don't fit their uniforms-"
"Naruto?! Sasuke!?"
A woman's booming voice had them both startled. They looked toward the bread store and spotted the person calling. Their face dropped at once.
Sakura. The gossiper.
"Look at that, I never would've guessed," Sakura grinned, approaching them.
"Keep walking," Sasuke hissed silently and Naruto was more than happy to comply.
They didn't make it far. Sakura was a persistent one.
"What are you guys doing out here?" Sakura pestered, she seemed happy, cheerful, bubbly, evil to the least. "On a date?"
Naruto was quick to correct her, "We're taking care of... business."
"Important business," Sasuke added. They were speeding their way down the streets, hoping to lose Sakura.
"But Sasuke and Naruto? On one team? Getting along? Everyone would have a field day," she smiled wickedly. Her implications unheard by both.
"Sure, thing Sakura," Naruto muttered, on the lookout for the police
"Do us a favor and go back to your Panera Bread," Sasuke ushered, too distracted by his issues to listen to her. Though they were both silently wondering how the other came to know Sakura. Acquaintance? Friend?
As if on cue, a police car zoomed by. Sasuke and Naruto simultaneously pulled up their hood and ran after it. In sync. Two tall guys in all black clothes, running in the crowd filled streets. Not suspicious at all.
"What are they doing?" Sakura murmured to herself. Weirded out. She swore Naruto and Sasuke spoke so badly of each other at work.
"Uzumaki is a moron who prefers brawn over brain."
"Uchiha is a loser too wimpy to fight me head on."
Then again, they never had a chance to meet at work, Naruto was a night shift and Sasuke during the day. No one would've guessed their top sniper and front liner to get along.
•••••••••••••
"How come I don't see any ambulances?" Naruto panicked again.
"We couldn't have missed it," Sasuke reassured, looking over his shoulders. Their plan is ruined if the victim is carted away.
"No! He's still there!" Naruto pointed, a bit eager. A body laid on the floor of the clothing store, glass pieces surrounding him. Unmoving.
They ran to get a closer look, stopping just outside the police's yellow blockage.
There was a moment a silence, their breath hitched. Eyes squinting and observing.
A sigh. Sasuke's. Sounding a quarter relief, a quarter disappointed, a quarter tired, and a quarter livid.
"Well. Fuck." Naruto said, straightening up.
Sasuke was done with everything Naruto had to offer in life. More than done if he must say.
"I can't believe I step foot outside on my day off work because you shot a damn mannequin."
Naruto shrugged, "we all make mistakes."
Not Sasuke. He never made a mistake other than turning a blind eye to Naruto's existence. Should have killed the blond while he still had a chance.
"It's 11:12 am," Naruto sighed, checking his phone then glancing up at Sasuke. "Want to get breakfast?"
"Technically," Sasuke corrected, "it's lunch."
"Not for me it isn't," Naruto grinned, slinging an arm around the raven's neck and pulling him down the streets. "I kind of wanted to try this new restaurant."
"The Nuaa," he said dramatically and waving his hand.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Naruto pulling the raven down to his height, making Sasuke bend awkwardly.
"Naruto, the place is a mile away."
"What?" Naruto chuckled, "is that distance going to kill you?"
"No," Sasuke grumbled, pushing the arm looped around his neck off. "But the time spent with you to reach that distance is going to make me want to kill you."
"Honey! Control yourself, we're in public," Naruto said a bit too loudly. On purpose.
Sasuke scrunched his fist and glowered. He wanted to kill. Every day, for the last three years and two months and thirteen days and four hours fifty-six minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Sasuke wanted to kill Naruto the moment their eyes met.
"Race you," Naruto laughed, shoving Sasuke violently aside, "loser has to pay."
Sasuke watched, unamused. Naruto bolted down the street as if he never got shot in the leg forty-eight hours ago. Running perfectly well.
Sasuke waited, trailing silently after Naruto. He lived next to the Naruto long enough to know idiot's exact running endurance.
He hadn't run for a full five minutes before waving Sasuke over to call for a taxi. Endurance definitely got worse since January.
••••••
"I told you they're dating," Sakura said, sitting on top of a building with her feet dangling off the edge. Shikamaru standing a few feet back, observing the city beneath.
"And just yesterday we had a talk about him dating someone equally dangerous," he sighed. Turning his attention back to scouting.
"That aside," Shikamaru said, scanning the passing civilians, "did you get any intel on it?"
They were up high. Too high for anyone to hear.
•••••••••••••
Sasuke was once again lazing on the tattered orange sofa. Stomach filled and despite him not having his credit card physically, he can tell it was crying cents because it was all that was left.
When they both stumbled into the apartment sticky earlier, Naruto claimed the showers first. Which, he had no right to since it was Sasuke's bathroom they're fighting over.
"Sasukeee!"
Speaking of the devil. Naruto could be thousands of miles away and he'll still kill Sasuke's eardrums.
"Sasuke!" Naruto was at screeching point now.
Sasuke grabbed the remote and upped the TV's volume.
"Sasuke! I'm dying!" Naruto shrieked even louder this time. They might be the only two on this floor, but Sasuke betted a million dollars he'll get complaints tomorrow.
"Sasuke help me!" Desperate wailing that sounded suspiciously like a dying whale.
"Damn, Naruto!" Sasuke yelled back, voice equally booming. "What the fuck do you want me to do? Wipe your ass?"
"Come here! I'm seriously about to die!"
Sasuke stood, face full of killing intentions as he stomped toward his bedroom, where the master bathroom was located. Temporarily forgotten about the squirrels lurking in his apartment. Naruto was going to die for sure. Sasuke will make sure of it one way or another.
Sasuke pulled on the bathroom's handle, intending to slam the door open and 'accidentally' killing someone behind it.
Naruto voice from inside stopped him, however.
"Wait! What are you a fucking pervert?"
Sasuke paused, glaring at the door.
"Can you get me a towel or something?"
He held his breath and slowly exhaled. Just like that, Sasuke returned to his blank expression. Totally not pissed. Totally not going to kill out of impulses.
Sasuke sauntered to his bed and grabbed a towel laying on it. He hoped the squirrels contaminated it. Sasuke creaked the bathroom's door open, throwing the soft towel in at full strength. A higher chance to land a hit on Naruto and causing a severe concussion. It'll be simpler to explain his neighbor's death that way.
"Thanks," Naruto sighed from behind the door. Shuffling noises ensues and Sasuke wanted nothing more than to step on and crush something blonde and soft. Naruto sounded very much alive if Sasuke must say.
"Sorry," Naruto grinned sheepishly, coming out of the bathroom half holy-fucking naked and scratching the back of his head. He didn't seem to be in a near death condition or anything remotely related. "I actually forgot my towel and I know you're not going to bring me one out of the goodness of your heart. And I didn't want to run naked all the way from here to my apartment, you know. It's the longest distance recorded in history and there are those threatening squirrels and you really don't wanna see my naked dick flying out there blah blah blah..."
Sasuke stared blankly at the other man wrapped snugly in his towel. Eyeing it like a hawk, a little slip of skin there-
Fuck.
One thing for sure, Sasuke wasn't listening to the bullshit Naruto's spouting, he tuned out the moment the blond said thanks.
Naruto even had the audacity to throw his dirty clothes into Sasuke's hamper. A hideously black shirt and orange boxers in Sasuke's basket of whites only.
"What are you doing?" Sasuke said in a lifeless voice as he reached for his gun. Cursing under his breath when he remembered leaving it on the coffee table.
Naruto headed straight for Sasuke's closet and flung the doors open like he owned the place. He was rummaging and digging through clothes Sasuke spent hours sorting and folding.
"I haven't-," Naruto grunted as he yanked out a pair of shorts deep in the masses of clothes. "-done my laundry in a while."
Sasuke glared at Naruto, who carelessly dropped his towel to slip on the pants he found...without an underwear underneath. Sasuke turned away, deciding he didn't want those shorts back in his closet. He wants it decontaminated, burn to ashes and buried fifty feet under.
"Oh no," Naruto muttered silently, nuzzling his nose in a shirt he found and Sasuke couldn't help but perked up. Their eyes met in a meaningful exchange. "Your shirt is so soft and smell decently nice..."
Sasuke was silent, not trying to show it but he was judging hard. If it was so soft and Naruto so loves cuddling with it, he might as well have the shirt because Sasuke didn't want that snotty piece of fabric near his closet either.
"Naruto, you better-" Sasuke said, only to get cut off when he was grabbed by the collar. Naruto yanking them together and Sasuke barely reacted in time. His hands flying up to grip Naruto's neck and stopping his advancements. Their faces were frightening close. Naruto pulling them even closer.
"What are...you doing?".." Sasuke scowled, struggling to keep Naruto at bay. Their veins visible as they struggled.
"Sneaking in a kiss," Naruto grunted. Despite his neck being crushed under Sasuke's hands, he was persistently pulling them closer.
"Over my dead body," Sasuke retorted.
They were running out of strength and breath but neither wanted to lose. Especially Naruto. Forget about the kiss, this is a fight-to-the-death battle between neighbors who held back frustrations for three years. Sasuke was always using his keys too loudly, cutting fucking tomatoes too loudly, showering too loudly, turning on the television too loudly, rocking his armchair too loudly, breathing too loudly, being alive. For three, consecutive years straight. Naruto could legitimately write down Sasuke's schedule with his eyes closed. Watching the same damn news channel every day, and before Naruto knew it, he was watching it too. (Only because it was annoying having television sounds from both apartments overlap.) Not to mention how frustrating and long it took for his ears to get used to Sasuke's footsteps. It was like the bastard changed the rhythm every month just to mess with Naruto's security system. Don't even get him started on Sasuke's insomnia and habit of falling asleep on the armchair rather than his bed.
Sasuke was close to strangling his neighbor to death and he was not regretting a single thing. Until a certain ring-tone caught his ears. The familiar tune that plays only when an emergency is present.
Itachi.
With panicking strength, Sasuke pushed Naruto off and bolted out of the room. Jumping over the hole and scampering to the other apartment with lightning's speed. Sasuke snatched the phone right off the coffee table and placed it next to his ears.
"What?" He scowled, gripping the phone tightly.
"Ah. Sasuke, took you a while to answer. Your phone is not next to you. A bit busy baby brother?" Itachi's static voice came through.
Till this day, Sasuke wondered why the hell Itachi liked sticking his nose in other's business so much.
"No. I'm off work, why would I be busy," Sasuke said in the flattest voice he could muster. He glanced nervously toward his bedroom, a curious Naruto poked his head out.
"Good then, you're free I assumed," Itachi said and Sasuke could only listen with suspicion. "I have arrived in front of the apartment building, with food of course-"
Sasuke hung up. Eyes wide and breath flaring. Mind working like a clock, except faster. Itachi soul often take one step and a half every second, considering his legs are this height, the strides are larger, it takes the elevator three minutes to get up on the top floor, unless there were other passengers, it was only two in the afternoon, not many would be in the building at this hour, a 47% chance Itachi will encounter people while riding the elevator, it'll take approximately 7 seconds for the metal doors to close each time it opens, the elevator goes up at the speed of...
Naruto had no idea what was happening, but the expression on Sasuke's face said shit was about to go down. Whatever it was, Naruto wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. He decided to screw getting involve and instead, crept out of the room as quietly as he could. The difficult part would be getting past Sasuke without being noticed but his neighbor was pretty fried right now. Naruto had a chance. He had been doing this for years, sneaking to his room so he won't be caught by Jiraiya and forced to do chores.
"Naruto!"
"For fuck's sake!" Naruto yelled in frustration. "What is it?"
Sasuke was searching through a random closet in his own apartment. In comparison, Naruto's place was much brighter. After all, he wasn't as psychopathic as his neighbor, he preferred to keep his window's screen wide open 24/7.
Sasuke pulled out what seemed like a broom and a dustpan from the ancient storage closet.
"We have six minutes," Sasuke said calmly and threw the cleaning materials at the unexpected blond. Naruto barely caught it, the unused dustpan grazing his- well, Sasuke's shirt.
"Six minutes for what?" Naruto asked, half panicking half suspicious.
"To clean that debris," Sasuke said, pointing to the wall's remnants on the floor. "And cover the hole."
"What?! In six minutes? Are you a sadist?" Naruto screeched but Sasuke was already digging through the cabinets for something and completely ignoring him. "Why…how are we going to cover that huge hole on the wall?! It isn't exactly your dick size-"
"My brother is in the elevator right now," Sasuke scowled, dead serious, "and if you think I'm bad, then you don't want to mess with the man who raised my ass."
Naruto stood there dumbfounded. Sasuke had an older brother? Was he raised by his older brother? Will his brother be this crap too? Will he be equally hot? So many questions, not enough guts to ask.
Sasuke threw a duster at Naruto with a deadly accuracy. "Hurry the hell up!"
He was giving Naruto a death glare so intense, the blond nodded and obligated.
Naruto paused, looking at the debris and dust on the floor. Then he glanced at the broom and dustpan in his hand.
"Sasuke how do I operate these…utensils?!" Naruto said, he was back on panicked mode, a nervous wreck he is.
"What?!" Sasuke yelped, whipping his head around at lightning speed. "Aren't you a prostitute/part-time janitor? Swing it around or something, like... killing people or something."
"Oh? That I can do," Naruto huffed in excitement. He'll show Sasuke how he sweeps dead bodies off the streets.
Naruto was in the midst of cleaning the last bits of dust on the floor when he spotted Sasuke scampering out of the dark bedroom. Bundled in his arms was a thick, dark blue blanket that covered his whole body, leaving only the top of his duck ass hair poking out. Naruto assumed the blanket was from Sasuke's bed, but why would...
"Hold this side," Sasuke instructed, handing Naruto a little corner of the blanket to grab on. Curious, Naruto watched as Sasuke climbed a stool, a drill in one hand and blanket's corner in the other. He stood in front the hole, positioned the blanket high on the wall and drilled a nail through the mattress. If Naruto knew Sasuke for long enough, he knew the man's a genius. And it takes a genius to raise a genius. Meaning Sasuke's brother's intelligence is nowhere near the bottom of the food chain. In conclusion, Sasuke's plan to cover the hole with his blanket was completely child's play. Who was he planning to fool?
"Are you trying to cover that hole with a piece of fabric?" Naruto asked for reassurance.
"No shit, Sherlock!" Sasuke scowled, pushing Naruto aside so he can move the stool. He was halfway up the chair when he paused to snatched the corner of the blanket Naruto was holding.
"My bad, I meant Dr. Watson," Sasuke added mockingly, making sure to lift an offending eyebrow at Naruto before climbing on the stool.
Naruto gasped, stopping himself from kicking the chair and sending the bastard flying. Watson?
"Oh, me? Watson?!" Naruto hissed, crossing his arms defiantly like he's right. "I'm Watson because I'm always getting dragged into your stupid shit!"
Sasuke paused, turned away from his work to stare at Naruto in disbelief.
"What?" Sasuke asked, in disbelief, eyes wide as he climbed down the stool. "I'm the one always dragging you into 'my stupid shit'?"
Naruto averted his eyes, wondering if he really made a mistake starting this conversation. Why was Sasuke like this? The man gets so sensitive over everything.
"You know Naruto," Sasuke hissed, pinching the blonde's cheeks to get his attention back. "The number of people I killed can't be compared to the number of times you dragged my ass to hell."
Naruto scoffed, rolling his eyes and batting Sasuke's hand away. A stinging mark left on the skin of his cheeks.
"Then you obviously haven't killed many," Naruto denied, crossing his arms once again.
Sasuke raised a judging eyebrow, his lids droopy as he watched Naruto. The irony was strong in this one. Funny how Sasuke literally shoved his sniping rifles collection at Naruto's face, killed two men and burned them, have a gun accuracy better than a normal civilian should. Yet Naruto brushed it off like he never saw anything. As if Sasuke wasted his time pouring water over a duck's head. Didn't it occur to Naruto that perhaps Sasuke is dangerous? Even as a bouncer, Naruto should know his limits and fear. Sasuke was an assassin, trained and hired at the age of seven to say. Naruto didn't stand a chance if Sasuke chose to deal with him seriously.
There was a brief vibration resonating through the building's top floor. It was all the indication they needed. Both shot each other a quick eye warning.
The elevator had reached its destination, bringing death with it.
Naruto abruptly threw the broom and dustpan behind Sasuke's armchair, diving in after it. The only place he could hide for a quick escape later.
Sasuke wasn't wasting any time kicking the stool back to its original spot. Stared at the drill in his hand before throwing it aside out of panic.
The flew open with so much force, it sent a small tremor down the floors. Five minutes and fifty-four seconds. Sasuke cursed the world, his calculations were six seconds off.
"Sasuke, I'm here!" Itachi yelled, eyes crazy as he scanned the apartment for anything amiss.
"I can see that," Sasuke said, sitting casually in his armchair, which just happened to be next to the hidden hole on the wall. He closed the book he was pretending to read, hoping Itachi wouldn't notice the letters were upside down.
Itachi straightened up and smoothened his dress shirt. Intending on fixing his image to a proper one to compensate for the sudden outburst. "Why hello, little brother."
A bit late for a proper greeting.
"What do you want, Itachi?" Sasuke spoke, feeling worn out as he sank into his armchair. The furniture rolling back and crushing Naruto who was hiding behind it. Sasuke felt a bit satisfied knowing he was in some way torturing the blonde.
"I brought food," Itachi said simply, closing the front door with his foot as he headed to the kitchen. Such proper manners indeed.
Naruto grimaced at the weight of the chair, letting a little scowl slipped and Itachi immediately turned toward the noise. He was staring straight at Sasuke, who was stuck in shock.
"Sasuke...was that you?" Itachi interrogated, making a move to walk toward his little brother.
"Yes!" Sasuke said quickly, his hand out to prevent Itachi from approaching. "I... sat on a rock, my bad."
Sasuke pulled out a piece of debris from his back pocket and threw it aside. He gave his chair a hard kick, and at the same time, staring innocently back at the Itachi.
"Al... right..." Itachi said a bit cautious as he placed the food bag on the kitchen table and began pulling stuff out. "I got you cheap-and-taste-like-shit potato salad from Wal-Mart and bruised tomatoes that are five weeks old."
Itachi sounded quite proud but Sasuke could only groan, pushing himself up from his armchair. They were rich, why must Itachi keep torturing him like this. It's not like Sasuke can't call a nearby, delivery-friendly sushi place.
"But Itachi," Sasuke grumbled like a child as he sauntered over to the kitchen. "You know I hate Wal-Mart's potato salad. Its taste is gruesome."
Itachi slammed the container on the counter, turning to look over his shoulders.
"Sasuke, how am I supposed to know it tasted 'gruesome' if you are only telling me now, it tasted like shit?"
Sasuke puffed his chest, rising to the challenge. "What do you mean you don't know? You just called it 'cheap-and-taste-like-shit' potato salad."
Itachi massaged his temples in frustration, this was a long day and Sasuke made it longer than it needed to be.
"Sasuke. Do you know what else is shit?" Itachi accused, "your taste bud. That's why everything you eat tastes good. Your...fucking fetish with bruised, five weeks old tomatoes is disgusting. My house smells a giant rotten tomato because you store all your crap there."
Sasuke gasped, a small and offended one.
Alright, Itachi thought he might've gone a bit far with that last statement.
"You know what Itachi?" Sasuke said, backing up with a slightly hurt expression. "If you are not going to accept me for who I am, I do not see a reason why our names need to be under the same family registry."
"Good ridance, you're still on about that," Itachi muttered, "Sasuke, I've told you countless times, I do not care if you are bisexual or pansexual or tomato-sexual or gun-sexual or your neighbor-sexual-"
"What?! I never said I was gay!" Sasuke retorted, he felt extremely violated right now.
"I never said you were either—" Itachi pointed out, but his words were ignored.
"Or neighbor-sexual," Sasuke added quickly, making sure he was loud enough so Naruto could hear.
Itachi placed his hands on his hips with an eyebrow arched.
"Are you saying those three years complaining about your loudmouth neighbor and how he was always singing some tune you fell asleep to and he liked talking to himself and you sending the pizza man to the wrong address on purpose when he was unusually quiet-"
Sasuke lunged for Itachi, but the older man had more years of experience with dodging than Sasuke did with bare hand attacking.
"I was so sure my baby brother is secretly married," Itachi continued to mock only to suddenly stop.
A flash of blue caught Itachi's attention and his neck snapped toward it.
"What is that?"
Sasuke watched in horror as Itachi strolled to the living room, where Naruto was.
"It's nothing, Itachi," Sasuke said quickly, pulling his brother back into the kitchen.
"Oh Sasuke," Itachi chuckled and shook his head. "When you out of all people say it's nothing, it's definitely something..."
Sasuke gulped, his brother knew him too well.
"You wet your bed didn't you?" Itachi exclaimed, smirking evilly as he pointed to the blue blanket on Sasuke's wall.
"How dare you accuse me of such vulgar practices!" Sasuke screamed, lunging for the older man and failing again.
"Such amateur tactics, you washed your blanket thinking you could hide the evidence?" Itachi snickered, grabbing a wrinkly tomato from the bag and leaving Sasuke to regret life on the floor. "And nailing it in? Is that a new kink of yours?"
"No, I..." Sasuke retorted, following his brother to the living room. "It's there to dry in the sun."
"Dry in the sun-" Itachi muttered, turning back to give Sasuke an odd stare. "Wouldn't it make sense to pull the curtains open?"
Sasuke paused, glaring into the void and thinking of nothing. He was done for.
"Don't you know, Itachi?" Sasuke bluffed, eyebrows raised as he stepped up to his brother. "It'll get discolored if you leave it out in the sun too long, the correct term is...air dry."
"Is that...so.," Itachi said slowly, expression deadly calm as he drew his handgun.
Sasuke eyed the gun, watching Itachi directed the weapon toward the armchair. Their eyes never left one another, silently challenging.
"Whoever is behind the chair," Itachi threatened, not turning away from Sasuke despite the gun pointing elsewhere. "Come out before I put a hole through your head."
Sasuke cursed. Naruto was a fucking wuss. An easy taunt and he'll jump for the bait. Sasuke could practically feel Naruto's will dissolving.
"Don't-" Sasuke warned, staring Itachi down, but his words directing at Naruto.
His older brother raised an eyebrow, pulling the trigger agonizingly slow.
"Don't you dare raise a gun in my house, Itachi, that's my favorite chair," Sasuke growled, eyes fierce and firm.
Itachi's gaze never faltered, gluing and analyzing Sasuke's movements like a security camera. In the past, Sasuke never backed off from a staring contest and he wasn't going to start today. Except back then he didn't have fucks to give, nothing to hide. But now there was a half-naked hooligan, a hole on the wall, and wild squirrels with possible rabies, all in one time and one place. The stress was eating him from inside out.
"Hn..." Itachi grunted, withdrawing his gun and breaking eye contact. Instead, he glared down at the old tomato in his hand, and with a smirk, rolled it toward Sasuke's armchair. There was a pause in the air, no one moved nor say anything as the tomato stopped midway, not even near the armchair. Then they waited. For what, Sasuke had no idea. Was Itachi expecting the crusty tomato to magically lure out a rat (aka Naruto) with its rotten appearance?
The wrinkly tomato stood in its spot. Unmoving and untouched. For three full seconds in silence.
Then he couldn't take it anymore. The young Uchiha let out a mental groan, an indication Itachi was overstaying his welcome.
Not that he was welcomed, to begin with.
As if on cue, the Itachi straightened up. "Perhaps I am being paranoid," Itachi said, looking arrogantly toward the direction of Sasuke's room, eyeing it with suspicion.
Yes. Go in there. Sasuke might as well lock Itachi in the room and starve him to death while Naruto gets out. Foolproof plan. It'll work.
"Baby bro, you are biting your pinky," Itachi pointed out, face full of suspicion. "What evil deeds are you up to now?"
Sasuke gulped. His old habits of biting his pinky while strategizing were coming back. Now out of all times, the world must hate him.
"Ohh, I have so much to hide in my room. My brother can't possibly see such indecency," Sasuke baited with as much tone as he can but his voice simply came out flat and sarcastic.
Itachi chuckled wickedly, "I'm going in."
Sasuke followed behind, knowing his brother was only intelligent on the cover.
"You're as cuddly and harmless as a teddy bear," Itachi said out of nowhere, head whipping around the room and checking it out. "The worst you can do is shoot me and not get arrested for it."
Sasuke glowered, watching as the older man entered the darkness. Itachi had his back facing him. Vulnerable.
With a blank face, Sasuke closed the bedroom door, leaving the squirrels to deal with the rest.
"Sasuke?" A faint voice of Itachi's, barely audible through the closed door.
Sasuke held onto the knob, keeping it in place so Itachi can't pull the door open. He hissed, silently calling for Naruto. The blond head poked out seconds later, looking half curious and half frightened out of his ass.
"What do I do?" Naruto mouthed silently from across the room.
Sasuke hoped one day people will understand what it was like having a moron as a neighbor. Naruto can't be seriously asking 'what to do' in a life and death situation. Sasuke's thinning frustration can't be put into existing words.
The doorknob jiggled from the other side and accompanied with a tug. Sasuke immediately tightened his grip, soon his strength alone won't be able to hold back Itachi. After all, his older had a gun while Sasuke had the burden of Naruto.
His head gestured for Naruto to get out as quietly he could. The blond in turn, nodded, bringing his foot up to tiptoed the hell out of life. But the luck of the world preferred so otherwise. Naruto had barely a step when a loud gunshot was fired. Then multiple more and Sasuke had immediately dove for safety. The doorknob to his bedroom shot right out of its hole.
"Run!" Sasuke roared toward Naruto's direction.
No need for the advice, Naruto was already bolting for the door. Never had he ran so fast to save his own ass. Never.
Speaking of ass, where did the wrinkly five weeks old tomato-
"Naruto!"
Was the last thing he heard before his feet stepped on a round and slippery object. Naruto's weight immediately smashed the tomato; red juice splattering everywhere as he slid on it, losing balance.
"You fucking fool!" Sasuke yelled.
Naruto had no idea how people in movies have time to rethink life while they fall to their death. All he managed was to form a plan to obliterate Sasuke's existence from this universe. Every molecule, every evidence, every memory, every, shitty atom of Sasuke. He'll start with his blood relatives. That Itachi plotted this from the very beginning. The tomato was cleverly placed and Naruto fell for it. No pun intended.
His back and butt landed on the ground with a thump. He managed a small scream before closing his eyes and lying completely still. The impact so painful, he almost fainted for the sake of numbing life. In fact, why doesn't Naruto do just that? Play dead and the storm will pass.
"Naruto."
It was Sasuke's voice. It sounded too husky and near.
Go away.
"I know you're awake."
No, I'm not.
"If you're going to die, do it in your own apartment."
Fucker.
His blue eyes peeked open, staring at Sasuke who was hovering just above him. He was crouching there and watching Naruto suffer. He was tempted to ask Sasuke whether he called the coffin service or not.
"You alright?" Sasuke asked, reaching out to poke Naruto softly in the cheeks for a response.
"Ow..." He groaned in reply. "It feels like I fell off a cliff and survived."
Sasuke nodded dutifully. If Naruto could still talk, he was fine. "Hn. Any last words?"
Naruto swallowed, the slight action sending pain shooting down his spine and tailbone.
"Fuck...you.." Naruto wheezed, gasping for air in large gulps and continued. "And... I never told you this...but I've always thought...you looked hot...sniping..."
Quite the confession if Sasuke dared say. The nerve of his neighbor, making this moment sound more dramatic than it was.
••
They were trapped in their own world, staring eye to eye for as long as time existed. Itachi wasn't sure if it was proper to interrupt whatever this moment of...mesmerizing eye fucking was. Then he remembered he was the one with the gun.
"Mind introducing me?" Itachi interfered smugly, walking closer to get a clear view of Sasuke's...visitor. He pointed the gun at the stranger. Blond, blue eyes but the most noticeable traits would be the scars on his face. It screamed familiar.
"Hi, I'm Uzakichi Naruto," the blond greeted, surprising everyone by sitting up and grabbing Itachi's free hand to shake it. "Sasuke's neighbor for three years. Just neighbors."
Even his name rang a tiny bell.
Despite all, Itachi shook his hand and greeted back, "Uchih-"
"-yama," Sasuke quickly cut in, "Uchiyama Itachi, my older brother."
Naruto nodded, hands folded on his chest as he let himself fall back. Sasuke was quick, placing an arm under Naruto to soften his fall.
A gentle gesture.
"Just neighbors indeed," Itachi snickered.
"An acquaintance, I barely know him," Sasuke retorted, carefully placing Naruto's head on the floor.
"Of course," Itachi said, eyebrows raised. " Why is he wearing a full outfit from your closet?"
"Actually," Naruto spoke up from the floor, index finger pointing. "I'm not wearing an underwear-"
"Naruto," Sasuke said with his lips tightened. "Shut your dumb ass up before you get us killed."
"You're right, sleep is calling me," Naruto said quickly and shut his eyes.
"He's..." Sasuke coughed, buying time to find an excuse. "A..neighbor."
Itachi nodded. Unamused.
"..Who needed to borrow some clothes, nothing more," Sasuke continued.
"Then why," Itachi sighed, "is there pumpkin scented shampoo in your bathroom? An orange toothbrush beside your own blue one? Your towel on the floor soaked in someone else's scent."
Sasuke closed his eyes, wanting to cringe but refrained from doing so. How could he be so careless?
"Not to mention," Itachi continued. "A black shirt and orange boxers in your whites only hamper. Hmm, I'm quite curious who it belongs to."
Well then.
Itachi smirked and glared down at Sasuke. "Is the reason you're washing your sheets, baby brother? Rough night...perhaps?"
Technically, Itachi wasn't entirely..incorrect. Sasuke remembered last night, a foot in his face, five more squirrels' bites, junk food, arguing, getting kicked in the face, more bickering, Naruto's feet having a 'muscle spasm', being kicked off the couch, Naruto's toes slipping under his shirt because it was, 'cold', in the apartment.
Whatever Sasuke's answer might be, Itachi will take it the wrong way. He had officially given up. There was no possibility of winning here. Might as well confess about the hole on the wall, the humiliation of living in his neighbor's apartment and having his credit card stolen right under his nose. He'll get ridiculed for it but the good thing is, so will Naruto.
Naruto, who must have sense Sasuke's confidence dropped. Decided to open his eyes despite no one asking him to do so. With shaky hands, he placed it on Sasuke's knee, resting it there comfortably.
"If.." Naruto said softly, his eyes half lidded like he was going to fall into a graceful slumber. "You're going for social suicide.."
He paused, inhaling deeply. Both Sasuke and Itachi waited for Naruto to finish. The silence stretched, however. They suspected the blond went back to sleep with his eyes open.
"...just," Naruto said after a while. "Don't..drag me...down with you..."
Sasuke opened his mouth to retort but Naruto had closed his eyes. Intending to fake his sleep through the drama. Then at that moment, Sasuke noticed something he never did in his three years of them being neighbors. Naruto's eyelashes are blond to the roots. They sometimes speak to each other in Japanese and Sasuke just assumed Naruto dyed his hair blond. He didn't know much about Naruto's past and vice versa. He knew the Naruto who was his neighbor since his first day here, but that was it.
"Indeed," Sasuke replied flatly as he glared up at his brother. "Rough night."
Itachi faltered. His eyes flitted to the blonde's neck. Bruised marks that obviously matched Sasuke's hand's size. Fingerprints. It was quite fresh and deep. Then he zoomed onto Sasuke's exposed arms and the skin above his V-neck collar. Five, prominent, bright red pink marks. Their colors matching the blond boy's lips. Goodness gracious.
"Well," Itachi said, turning away. "My soul has been tainted. I am leaving to have it purify."
It was all it took. Itachi left as quickly as he came, slipping out of the front door like he never seen or discover anything. Who would blame him? Sasuke also wanted to forget he ever met Naruto.
"I feel stupid," Naruto said, cracking his eyes open when he knew for sure Itachi was gone. "I should've run through the hole, what was I thinking running for the door?"
Sasuke shrugged. Naruto's golden eyelashes plaguing his mind.
"You know.." Naruto hummed meaningfully as they stayed rooted to their spot. "Your brother is kind of hot."
Sasuke was silent. Then, Naruto was silent. The apartment, itself was silent. No sound, no movement. Just tension.
Naruto wanted to get up and bury himself six feet under, but his back rendered him useless.
Sasuke was the first to speak up in a flat voice. He slipped his arms under Naruto body. "I'm going to pour bleach over my head to erase whatever bullshit just came out of your mouth."
Good idea. Naruto might as well pour some bleach over his existence, too and pretended Sasuke never came into his life.
A grunt and Naruto felt arms looped carefully beneath his frame. It took effort but Sasuke eventually managed to gather Naruto securely in his hold and lifted him off the floor.
At this point, Naruto was loving the feel of being in Sasuke's arms. So warm, so human, so trained to shoot a gun, so fucking deadly. It gave him a sense of being carried on the edge of a cliff. Any moment, Naruto could die if he taunted Sasuke wrongly. Living life on the line, literally, was a turn-on Naruto will never admit.
Sasuke was muttering something under his breath as they pushed the blanket aside to go through the hole.
"What was that?" Naruto said, eyebrows raised. He didn't hear it but he felt the insult.
"I said," Sasuke repeated. His face smudged with a small smirk as he glanced down at Naruto. "Who needs to work out when you have to carry your fat neighbor around, am I right?"
Naruto gave him a glare but couldn't hold in his laughter. The joke was funny Naruto supposed. Sasuke had a sense of humor. But Naruto had seen better. Is better.
"You're right," he smiled, wiping away a fake tear. "Who needs a job when they got their rich neighbor's credit card, am I right?"
Sasuke's face grew grim. The regret and pain were still apparently fresh.
"Are you injured enough to spend a night at the hospital?" Sasuke asked, looking ahead, wanting to bite his pinkie but can't. "Because if not, I can help-"
"Call the hospital and I will single-handedly burn all of your guns," Naruto spat, face in a scowl. If there were a day where Naruto gets thrown into a civilian hospital and must tell them he cracked his spine slipping on a rotten tomato. He'll just die and spare himself the torture. And he knew Sasuke knew this.
"Touch my babies and I swear you'll be injured enough to be sent to a funeral home," Sasuke scowled.
Despite the remarks, Sasuke still placed Naruto on the orange couch as gently as he could. Good to say Naruto and his back survived the three feet fall. His head...not so much.
Sasuke went back to unscrew his blanket from the wall and cleaned the smashed tomato. Their life casually returning to its regular schedules.
Naruto reached over the coffee table and grabbed his phone. Dialing his work place and waited. The sun was slowly setting over the city with orange and light purples, he'll be glad to have some dinner soon.
Ino picked up the phone in two rings. It surprised him a bit, usually, she'd do so in three.
"Calling off work, my neighbor's gay for me and tried to rid of the evidence; me to be precise," Naruto said, chuckling and staring at Sasuke through the hole. The man looked hot pretending he wasn't listening to Naruto's phone conversation.
"Yes, yes," Naruto sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "The world can't rotate without the great Naruto."
From this distance, he saw Sasuke visibly scoffed.
"Effect my paycheck? I don't even have-"
Just like that, Ino hung up. And here he thought Sasuke was the one with the attitude.
Naruto threw his phone onto the table, knocking down an empty can of Coca-Cola that he couldn't be bothered to pick up. Not like his back will allow him.
Naruto was bored. Easily.
"Is it true," Naruto said suddenly, remembering what Itachi had said. "That you're as cuddly and harmless as a teddy bear?"
Three years and you think you'd know a man. Naruto knew Sasuke is a cuddly teddy bear. He wasn't so keen on the word 'harmless' however.
The raven simply glanced over with an eyebrow raised. Then proceeded to dump the debris in the dustpan away, completely ignoring Naruto.
"Can I call you, Berry?" Naruto snickered, but Sasuke had his hearings off or something.
"How about Cuddly-bear?"
No reaction. Sasuke simply folding the blanket and placing it neatly on his dark couch.
"Sasu-bear?" Naruto asked sweetly, watching Sasuke walked over the hole.
The raven paused to deeply inhaled. Then exhaled a bunch of carbon dioxide into the air. He stood in front of the TV, blocking it as he faced Naruto.
"No. No. And how about fucking, no," Sasuke finalized and leaning down to pick up the can of cola Naruto knocked down. He crushed it in his hand and proceeded to throw it in the trash.
It was an indication.
Naruto hummed knowingly, "So you like Sasu-bear."
"Naruto," Sasuke said, turning to face him. "I like it when we're both nameless."
Last Sasuke remembered, Naruto never gave birth to him, the blond had no authority over his name.
"So..."
Of course. How could Sasuke forget? Shutting up wasn't one of Naruto's options.
"...you're neighbor-sexual, hm?" Naruto teased, a suggestive smirk, and Sasuke was not falling for it.
"Uzakichi, let me just warn you," Sasuke scowled, grabbing Naruto's legs and throwing it aside to sit down. "I didn't go to work today."
Naruto blinked. Sasuke was a workaholic. Gas prices have gone up. Dubai got the world's tallest building. What was the big deal?
"If this is not enough context for you," Sasuke continued. "It means, you're going to see Satan early if you keep running that mouth of yours."
They were neighbors for three years. Naruto knew Sasuke didn't have the balls to kill anything. Except for the two intruders, but those were special occasions, Naruto liked to think. Sasuke can't possibly be a crazy, blood thirsty maniac who was obsessed with sniping and putting bullets through human's flesh.
"Is it true," he asked again and Sasuke closed his eyes in frustration, he needed to be psychologically prepared for Naruto's idiocy. Itachi broke Sasuke's mentality pretty bad. To be very honest, he had no idea how they survived and managed to kick his brother out.
"You have a thing for five weeks old tomatoes?"
Sasuke rubbed his temples and slumped on the couch.
Naruto's legs slyly propped on Sasuke's lap without him noticing.
"It's a form of torture," Sasuke said, looking ahead at nothing in particular. Must be reminiscing about his sweet past. He had a soft expression on "Having Itachi live in a house smelling like a rotten tomato is every child's dream."
Naruto hummed. That he could relate to. Then remembered the wretched fruit was the cause of his current condition. He grumbled and kicked Sasuke in the thigh, effective in earning a groan from the other man.
This was it. Sasuke was done playing nice. Done playing doctor. Done playing the docile roommate. He couldn't take the abuse any longer. Sasuke didn't plan ahead but he reached under Naruto's calves anyway and pinched the skin there. It was all muscle and more of a reason it'll hurt more.
Naruto screeched and thrashed about, throwing his foot everywhere and smacked Sasuke squared under his jaw. So much for being an injured patient.
"Fuck!" Sasuke growled, managing to trap one Naruto's foot under his arm and began cracking his toes.
"Woah, feels kind of nice," Naruto cooed, a moment of bliss cut short when Sasuke made it to his big toe and cracked it.
He shrieked again, raining kick down on Sasuke's arms with his free foot.
"Oww!" Sasuke retorted, pinching behind Naruto's thigh, where it hurt the most.
The fighting continued for the rest of the evening. Nonstop kicking. Nonstop screaming. Nonstop pinching.
Itachi might assume a different scenario, but Sasuke wasn't lying when he said they have rough nights. Bruises and all.
•••••••
End of Chapter
•••••••
August 30, 2016, 18:23
