ECOLI: It was 19 whatever. The newborn internet had already been plagued with furries, trolls,
TED: and Zoë and Scott Walker 4ever 3.
ECOLI: It was a tragic, tragic generation. Daniel had been drawn into MS Paint Adventures, overused memes, and 9gag.
Alexander worried deeply for his cat.
And Kony was rising, the great power.
WWI began.
TED: And it was terriblely Awsome! and Zoë and Cassandra were there!
ECOLI: "IT IS TIME TO DO SOME CRAZY SHIT," Alois announced, washing his hands free of excess bodily fluids. "I THINK I'M GOING TO BE DRAFTED SOON, FOR THE ARMY OF PRINCESS CELESTIA"
"Make love, not war!" Daniel said happily, starting up a bath and holding up an image of a LOLCAT.
"Hm…" Alois pondered that thought, and quickly decided that he disagreed with it, as he wanted to both go to war and have sexual intercourse!
"Shut up, Daniel you newfag. I been lurkin' for sixteen years now. I was there when Moot took over. I was there when the first caption was placed on an image. I -"
TED: "NO!" _ said randomly runing into the room. He/she/it ran over and started hitting and pokeing everyone in the room. "That is all." they said calming down now.
ECOLI: (Puts 'Basile' in the blank, circles 'he', crosses out 'they', replaces with 'he'
"S - so abusive, Basile!" Daniel said, voice now clouded with arousal due to his masochistic tendencies.
"You asshole!" Alois yelled. "Only I'm allowed to hurt me!"
"That's because you're emo," Basile stated, turning around and walking away.
He was never seen again.
Not even through a time paradox.
Rumor has it that he went out to kill Osama bin Laden on an epic rogue mission, and ended up becoming a blind cave rat.
"ALL RIGHT" Alois decided. "NOW WHERE MY BITCHES AT"
TED: (Wait what? Who?)
ECOLI: What do you mean? Alois wonders where his bitches are at. What do you mean? What don't you understand?
TED: nvm. It dosnt matter. Keep wrtting.
ECOLI: "Yes, Alois?" Justine replied, waltzing into the room clad in Daniel's silk kimono.
"BITCH, GIVE ME THAT BACK, IT'S MY FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING" Daniel growled.
"I thought that your favorite article of clothing was… YOUR NIPPLE CLAMPS?" Alexander asked dramatically, throwing the heavy metal objects at the wall, cracking the bathroom tiles.
"… okay." Daniel admitted.
TED: And so then they all got into a massive argument and started attacking each other and everyone ends up as big bloody messes.
ECOLI: "DAMN THAT WAS SEXUALLY GRATIFYING," Alois yelled, beginning to sew up the gash on his arm from Justine's dangerously long fingernails.
"Wait… why were we fighting?" Daniel asked, spitting out a chunk of his own hair.
"Honestly, I'm not sure," Alexander said, brushing off his crimson overcoat.
Justine replaced her glass eye. "Hm… dammit, now I have to redo my hair!" She quickly ran off.
TED: "Well I thought is was funny!" _ said between giggles.
ECOLI: (inserts 'Mr. Face' into the blank) "You sick BASTARD," Daniel screamed, his anger quickly rising once again. He still hated Mr. Face for killing Cornelius before.
"We have to go to Uganda!" Alois announced. "It's our only option!"
"But I don't want to fight in the war!" Daniel cried, removing one headphone from his ear to engage in the conversation.
"THAT'S TOO BAD," Alexander said in his incredibly sexy Sam A. Mowry voice. "EVERYONE ELSE DOES, SO YOU'LL JUST NEED TO SUCK IT UP AND STOP BEING A PUSSY"
Daniel's ears lowered. "But - I'm part cat. I'll always be a pussy."
The Baron face palmed so hard that he tore his own face off of his face and it splattered on the wall opposite.
"Okay then. Well, let's go. Rainbow Dash?"
The rainbow-maned pegasi crashed through the wall just as her name was called.
"Yeah?" she asked. "Sorry, I was just eating Justine's fantastic candyvag. But… you guys wanna go to Uganda, don't you?"
"Yeah," Alois replied, straightening his ponytail. "Let's do this shit."
"But… Kony's been gone for ten years. This whole war is just a retarded conspiracy. You know that, right?"
"Well, of course we know that!" Alexander insisted. "But we really want to see some action. You know, blood, gore, explosions…"
"I don't!" Daniel insisted, running to kneel at Rainbow Dash's side. "Please! Take me to Equestria! I want to be a lesbian too!"
"Uh…" Dashie stuttered, backing away. "If you want me to make you pony, there are a few things you'll have to agree to first… but, I really can't do that. Only Princess Celestia has those kinds of abilities."
"Damn, look at this faggot," Alois whispered to Alexander, gesturing at Daniel begging to be made into a sparkly-eyed horse.
"They gave those 'bronies' their own board now, you know. It's pathetic how low they can sink," Alexander replied. "Disgusting."
"Please! I have my own character and everything!" Daniel cried, pulling out a drawing of a tan earth pony whose cutie mark was a lantern.
"Hm… you seem like you'd be willing to suck a considerable amount of cock for me to take you to Ponyville," Rainbow Dash noted. "Perhaps I could work out some sort of -"
"STOP - RIGHT - THERE." interrupted Michael Rosen, who had been sitting in the corner quietly eating plums for 83 years. "I don't - think - that's a very good idea."
Everybody turned in Michael's direction. They had thought he was dead, actually.
"That's - be-s-ti-al-it-y," he said, that word having been poorly sentence-mixed. "If you like p-o-n-ies, you are a Pennsylvania Masturbator."
"Where's Pennsylvania?" Daniel questioned. "Is it anything like Transylvania?"
"NO." Michael replied. "It's much wors-e."
"Ooh, ooh! Do the Michael Rosen Rap!" Dashie requested.
"You may think I'm happy, you may think I'm sad, you may think I'm crazy, you may think I'm mad -" he began.
But he never finished.
"KAPOOM," shouted someone from behind the beloved poet laureate. And Michael Rosen fell over dead, his head bursting.
"That's not the real Michael Rosen!" shouted a man wielding a cop killer. "I am!"
And… so it appeared to be!
"You have to come with me," said Michael as the Futurama theme song began to play. "The future is in danger!"
None of this Michael's words sounded sentence mixed.
"To the TARDIS?" Dr. Tall asked hopefully.
"I'm pretty sure that we already have enough time paradoxes as it is," Michael said. "I just killed my future self - it's complicated. I've seen that I become a Youtube-pooped monstrosity. Things have to change."
- And… this is where things end. If you want, I'll continue this, but I won't be surprised If you don't want me to. However, if you do, I'll need some ideas, because, well… I have none. So… that's it, I guess.
