Chapter Two: Returning to Lallybroch

The next morning, before the sun had even started to rise, Mrs Graham packed a small bag of food for us to take. While I packed another full of Bree's clothes, some photos and her beloved rabbit. I had tested the box on her the night before and delighted at the knowledge that she had heard the song too. Not wanting to waste another moment I had decided that we would leave through the stones at first light. I left a note for Reverend Wakefield to thank him for all he had done for us and Mrs Graham had accompanied us to Craig Na Dunn to say her goodbyes. We had thought about it long and hard that night, we could send Bree through first to see if the test was accurate? If she didn't go through the stones then I would still be there to look after her. But if she did go through the stones she would be alone on the other side, scared and afraid. If I went first, and Bree was unable to follow, would I be able to get back to her? There were so many variations and so many things could go wrong. In the end I had decided that the only true answer was to hold her tightly in my arms and to go together. Mrs Graham had procured some clothes for us both, so that I would not be in a state of undress like I had been last time, and she had promised to let Frank know what had happened to us once we were gone.

"Are you ready to go and see daddy?" I asked Bree, knowing she would come to see Jamie as her true father in time.

"Daddy." She smiled at me as I picked her up in my arms. I took one last long look around, the sun was just rising over the hill as I said my goodbyes to Mrs Graham. Placing some cotton wool in Bree's ears to guard against the screams from inside the stones, I nodded farewell to my friend and stepped towards the stone.

JAMMF

I awoke shortly after to the realisation that I was again flat on my back. There was a heavy weight on top of me and I could hear Bree crying as she clung to my chest. "Shhh." I soothed her knowing that the journey would have been quite frightening. I checked her over quickly for any signs of injury. Pleased to find no cuts or broken bones, I pulled out her bunny from her bag, pleased that they had both made the journey with us, and held her tight. There was no sign that we were in danger, but I didn't want to chance hanging around too long. As she settled into my shoulder, I flung our bags over my other arm and began the long trek down to Inverness. I wasted no time in finding the stables and bartering for the use of a horse and some rations from the local market in exchange for Mrs Grahams brooch. I bundled Bree up tight and secured our few belongings before heading off on our journey towards Lallybroch, to home.

JAMMF

Bree had taken to life on the road with ease. Her face beaming with awe at all of the sights that we passed, having grown up in the city, the large fields and tall trees were magical creatures to her. Following Jamie's lead, I made camp in hidden pockets of bush out of sight of the road during the day and made my way to Lallybroch during the night, while Bree slept. The motion of the horse trotting lulling her to sleep each night. I didn't know what to expect when I got there, or what I would say. All I thought about was how long I had been away, of our last moments together and the pain we had both felt and having to leave each other behind. Reverend Wakefield had told me of his incarceration after the battle and I wondered how his years in jail might have changed him? If he would welcome our return?

The sun had already been up an hour and being August the weather was relatively dry. I knew we were close so I decided to push on. It couldn't be more than five miles away I thought to myself as I held Bree tight and slowed down my pace, allowing myself time to prepare. Lost in thought I was caught off guard by what I could see just over the next hill, "Jesus Christ" I exclaimed as I tried to catch my breath, I could see the distant smoke rising like a beacon from the main chimney and the large walls that signalled the entrance to Lallybroch. I stopped the horse a moment, my hands were shaking as I looked around. Everything seemed the same, except for a lack of grown men going about their daily chores in the fields around us. In contrast to the last time I had been here, it was quiet, eerily quiet and I wondered if I had made a terrible decision.

Bree woke a moment sensing that we had stopped moving, then snuggled in tight and went back to sleep as I took a deep breath and kicked the horse to make our way forward. I thought my chest was going to explode and I struggled to hold the reigns my hands were sweating so much. I checked that the dagger I had also procured at Inverness was still within reach on my belt as I noticed something rush towards us at great speed from the direction of the main house. I pulled the horse up a moment as the image of two dogs, one large, one small, raced to deter the unwanted intruders. I felt a smile warm my face as the familiarity of these beasts brought me great joy. Bree woke up startled and began to scream, trying to crawl onto my shoulders away from the dogs who were nipping at my heels. "Hello there. Remember me?" I asked them as I slowly started moving towards the house again. Certain they would recognise my scent and not harm us.

"What's gotten into you two?" I heard the voice cry out long before I saw its owner. "Leave them…." The voice broke off, speechless as it stared at me. Unmoving and barely 10 feet between us, I thought I might faint from exhaustion or joy as we both tried to determine if the vision before us was real.

What must she be thinking I wondered, what had Jamie told her? I dug down deep and found the words I'd been struggling to find. "Hello Jenny." I spoke first.

"Claire." She managed to stutter as she gathered her thoughts. "Get down!" She yelled at the dog as she came closer. "Is it really you?"
"Yes. It is." I assured her "I'm sorry if we frightened you." I apologised as I tried to stop the squirming Bree from throwing us both off of the horse.

"It's us who have frightened you by the looks of it." Jenny stepped forward, still white as a ghost as she looked at Bree. "Is this….?"
"Yes." I nodded, "Jenny I'd like you to meet Brianna." I felt so much pride at finally being able to introduce Bree to her aunt.

"Shhh." Jenny reached out for Bree and instinctively I picked her up and handed her down to her. Jenny held her close, and tried to settle her. "I'm your aunt Jenny." She whispered as I made my own way off of the horse. I was not surprised when Bree stopped fussing almost instantly, "Jamie told me you were with child when…" She stopped, the memory obviously a painful one. Jamie had intended to die at Culloden, she knew he'd never have imagined that he would have to live knowing that he would never see her again. She could only imagine how hard that must have been for him.

I wondered how much he had told her, about how my disappearance had been explained. "He saved us." I told Jenny as much as Brianna.

"I know." She paused in reflection, "He told me, everything." Jenny smiled as she looked her over before hugging me welcomely. "Everything." She nodded at me, her meaning clear. I must have looked shocked as she gave me a warm smile and then returned her focus to the child in her arms. "She looks just like him." She continued. "She has the Fraser eyes, and his hair."

"Don't I know it." I looked at my daughter in her aunt's arms. A sense of belonging had washed over us both. She knew and she still accepted me, didn't shun me out of superstition like so many others would have.

Jenny took my hand, as I held the horse with the other. "Come." She ushered us towards the house, "You must be exhausted." Before I could protest, not that I would have, I found myself walking through the gates of Lallybroch once more.

JAMMF

"Where's Jamie?" I asked as Jenny handed Bree and me a warm bowl of porridge. "Is he well?" I had so many questions, so many fears but all I cared about right now was if Jamie was still alive. I needed to know.

"Aye." Jenny smiled at me, so big and bright I felt its warmth calm me at once. "He's in the fields with Ian."

"He's alive? Here's here." I grabbed her hand as I felt my body sway and my legs buckle beneath me. Certain I'd heard her wrong.
"He'll be all the better for seeing you again." She confirmed. "I'll send one of the boys for him." I felt the blood fade from my face as the last bit of hope and energy I had saved for my mission left me, now that I had done what I had come to do. I must have looked a fright as Jenny grabbed me by the elbow and helped me to a seat, before giving me a sip of whisky to calm my nerves. "Claire. Are you all right?"

I felt a wave of nausea threatened to overtake me, "I'm fine. It's just." What would I say to him? How would I introduce him to his daughter?
"You never expected to see him again. I ken that well, I've lived with Jamie's ghosts long enough." She comforted me as I regained my senses. I sat watching Bree play with her breakfast unaware of what was unfolding around her as Jenny fussed about ensured I had something hot to drink while I waited.

"Jenny. Jenny are you there?" I felt faint again as I heard his voice calling through the large room at the front of the house less than twenty minutes later. I looked at Jenny, unable to move, unable to breath.

"Shaw, here." She called out as she stood before me, squeezing my hand in hers. "It'll be all right." She promised me.

JAMMF

The lad had raced into the field with some urgency and declared that the Mistress needed me at once. He would not go into detail but I had wasted no time in making haste. Strange now that the house seemed so quiet and empty. I had expected the hustle and bustle of some melodrama unfolding before me as I made my way to the kitchen with due haste. "Jenny, Jenny are you there?" I called out, as my voice echoed off of the walls. "Shaw. Here." I had heard her respond from the back galley.

"Are you all right?" I asked as I stepped over the threshold into the kitchen, "The wee lad said you needed me urgently."

"Aye." Jenny grinned at me like the cat that got the cream.

"Are you ill?" She didn't look ill, but it wasna like her to be quiet either. She was usually direct and straight to the point.

"No." Jenny smiled at me, the kind of mischievous smile she flashed my way when we were bairns and she was up to no good.

"What the devil is it then?" I had no time for games. She knew that we had a long day ahead of us in the field if we were to sew the crop in time before winter.

"Watch your language." She warned me, nodding to the little one at the table.

I hadn't realised it at first but it wasn't one of her ever growing barins and I hadn't seen any sign of visitors when I had pulled up outside. "Whose this then?" I enquired confused as the young child looked up at me and smiled, so warm and friendly. She held up her spoon, the porridge on it dropping to the floor as she giggled then scooped up another mouthful. I felt myself drawn to her for some reason.

"She's mine." The voice sent shivers down my spine. I looked at Jenny who had clearly heard it too, was I going mad again? I looked at Jenny and shook my head in confusion. What kind of sick joke was this I wondered but as Jenny stepped aside I felt the breath leave my body and my chest ached as I clutched the table for support. She couldn't be real? The woman sitting on the bench behind where Jenny had been standing. I was sure that she was an apparition like so many times before.

"Jamie?" The voice spoke again hesitantly. Whoever she was she looked just as pale as he felt. So many nights he had spent trying to recall the fine details of her face as he lay awake unable to sleep, his memory of her fading over time. How was it that he was now able to remember her so clearly?

"She's real you goose." Jenny punched me in the arm as she picked up the child and stood to the side, bringing me face to face with the woman before me. "It's Claire. She's returned."
"It can't be." It couldn't be. I'd watched her go through the stones myself. I'd watched her slip through my arms forever. My arm felt heavy, but I willed it to reach out and touch her, to find out if she was real. Twirling her hair in my hands, the sensation was so familiar it seemed to wake me from my trance. "Claire?" I asked her,

"Yes." She cried as she flung herself into my arms. As she pulled me close I held her tight, her hair, her body, her scent, I would ken it anywhere. A heavy weight that I had carried for four long years suddenly lifted and I dared to let myself believe that it was true. "Claire?" There were no words, there was only her.

"I'm here, I'm here now Jamie." She whispered to me. "I'll never leave you again." She promised.
"But how?" I asked, eager to know everything.

"I came back, through the stones. I found out you were alive and I had to come." She squeezed me tight, tears in her eyes, "I couldn't bare another moment without you."

"Mo Nighean Donn?" I realised I didn't care for the details, I was just glad she was here, back in my arms. I held her so tight, I thought I'd never let her go again as I stared into her eyes and she into mine. It didn't take long before I found myself drawn to her lips as she played with my hair and I felt a desire to take her stronger than ever before. Tracing my hands over her shoulder, I pushed her clothes down exposing her shoulder, it was a sweet and soft as ever.

"She rode." Jenny explained as she stopped me from going any further, a smirk on her face, "All the way from Inverness." She nodded proudly.

"You shouldna done that, It's dangerous on the roads nowadays, more so than ever." My heart tightened at the thought of her alone on the road like that.

"I did what you showed me." She said playing with my hair, "We made camp during the day and rode at night and I managed to buy enough supplies for our journey here so we didn't have to stop along the way."

"We." I had forgotten all about the child eating the porridge, that now rested in Jenny's arms watching us with awe. Claire's child, and then it hit me, I felt my face drop and my knees weaken and I almost fainted as the blood rushed from my body. I looked to Claire who looked back at me with trepidation. I shook my head, "No." It couldn't be. Multiple emotions overtook me as I fought to stay upright, fear, surprise, confusion, an overwhelming sense of apprehension and then unfathomable joy. "Is this?" I asked her as I looked at the child in Jenny's arms. Her red hair, my father's nose and my mother's eyes. I wanted to hold her but was afraid to touch her.

Claire took the child from Jenny's arms and held her close to her breast, the sight before me was indescribable. "Jamie." She began, "I'd like you to meet your daughter, Brianna." She introduced us "Brianna." She continued, "This is your father, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser." The child smiled and reached out as if to give me the bannock Jenny had given her to eat. I stretched out and took her hand as she offered it to me. Her hands were so tiny still, but she had a strong grip. Her smile lit up the room as she giggled a moment and I could sense at once that she was mine.

"May I" I asked, my hands shaking as Claire handed her to me. I feared that I would drop her, or that she would find me a stranger and cry. Instead, I found her leaning into my chest and hugging me close. I could not stop the tears streaming down my cheeks as I held her tight. "Hello Brianna." I whispered in her ear, playing with her wee curls. "I am so very, very happy to meet you."