Harry waves at his family as they get into the car to go grocery shopping. It had originally been Ginny who'd intended on going in the bewitched car that drove itself. Then Lily had said she wanted to go with her mother and both of his son's had said that they had things that they wanted. So now Harry is going to be stuck alone with Scorpius. They hadn't even made eye contact since the previous day.
Sighing, Harry goes back in to try to see what he can do for lunch. He almost laughs when he sees that Scorpius is in the kitchen, sitting on the counter in the tiniest pair of shorts imaginable and eating a Muggle popsicle of all things. He looks like the definition of a bad idea, one that is playing at the back of Harry's mind in a way that he can't help.
"Are they gone?" Scorpius asks, looking over when Harry comes into the kitchen.
A part of Harry yells at him to get out of there. He shouldn't be in there when it's confirmed now that Scorpius really was looking at him with lust. He knows what Scorpius was trying to do and he can't let him succeed. He's sitting there intentionally being seductive and Harry has to cut it off. He's the adult. He can be responsible. "They're gone," he agrees shortly, moving towards the refrigerator to pull out something to make for lunch.
Scorpius lets out a rather dramatic sigh, leaning back against the cabinet and slurping obscenely at his popsicle. "Well good. I don't know how you stand her, Harry. Does she pick out your robes for you too?"
Harry looks over at Scorpius, an unamused look on his face because he knows that he shouldn't be encouraging him. He wonders if Ginny's micro-managing is really so obvious that even Scorpius has noticed his annoyance but he doesn't know why he bothers wondering. Of course it's that obvious. Anybody with eyes can see it. Even Ron and Hermione have remarked on it a time or two, talking about how maybe they should try communicating better or talking to somebody else about their problems. Ginny refuses to think that they have problems.
"You don't really know her, Scorpius," Harry responds finally, thinking back to the girl that he first fell in love with over a decade ago. Ginny just isn't that girl anymore, doesn't have that shine in her eyes, the hope for the world. She's older, wiser and more mature but since she's grown up, she's lost what made her so wonderful in Harry's eyes.
He'd loved her as a teenager, the fire in her, the way that she matched him completely. She had such bright ideas for their wedding, their life, their children. They'd made such big plans for their future and Harry had been thrilled for it. It would be fantastic. But the older that Ginny got the more that she had just given up and her dismay had eventually had Harry giving up as well.
Shrugging, Scorpius catches Harry's eyes as he takes the popsicle into his mouth further, sucking on it. "I don't really want to know her. She's constantly complaining. I'm sure you know that considering you're married to her but she seems so frustrating. You're better than that."
"Scorpius, she's my wife. We have three children together and-"
"Is that why you're still with her then?" Scorpius asks, interrupting and it's probably a good thing because Harry hadn't been sure what he was going to say.
The question makes Harry falter, though, knife still in hand as he works on making lunch for the two of them. Is that why he's still with Ginny? It's true that they don't quite share the same love that they had had before. They'd gotten married because they pictured themselves spending the rest of their lives together but it's just not that easy. Harry wishes that he still had the enthusiasm that he'd had as a teenager, to believe that things could be better. He wishes that Ginny did. "It's not that simple."
Scorpius lets out a quiet laugh and Harry turns to him, somewhat offended. "It really kind of is. Or maybe that question isn't. But let me ask you another one. Do you still want to be with her?"
Harry knows that he should tell Scorpius off, make him see that asking questions like this aren't appropriate but he can't bring himself to do it. They're making him think about things that he doesn't really want to think about but that he knows that he probably should. "You're young, Scorpius. You don't understand that things aren't that simple."
"No, you're just too old. You either want to be with her or you don't. It's that easy. It's whether she makes you happy or not. Fuck everybody else. This is your life and you should be happy."
The harsh words surprise Harry as Scorpius slips off the counter. There's a tiny drop from the popsicle lingering on the corner of his lips as he moves to toss the stick into the trash. Harry opens his mouth, trying to figure out what to say but he can't force anything out.
Scorpius looks at him with something that almost resembles pity. It's something that doesn't look good on Scorpius' features, twisting them in a way that they shouldn't be. It doesn't diminish how absolutely gorgeous the young boy is, though and Harry feels a twist in his gut at the very thought. "I get that you're Harry Potter and the chosen one and all that but you deserve happiness too. You shouldn't just do what other people tell you to do. They're not the one who have to live your life. You do. And you shouldn't just let your wife walk all over you because you used to love her and you feel bad that you don't anymore. I'm going for a walk."
With that, Scorpius turns. He doesn't wait for an answer before heading outside and Harry just watches the door long after he's gone. Is that what he's doing? And if so, how did Scorpius recognize it before Harry was even able to himself? The thought makes him sick and he forces it from his mind. There's no use dwelling on it.
Harry goes back to making lunch, thankful when his family gets back before Scorpius does. Harry tries to avoid Scorpius again that night but he finds himself drawn back to Scorpius over and over. When Scorpius notices, he stares back, a smile curving on his lips at Harry's attention.
Harry regrets his decision to sit outside and read almost as soon as he makes it. He hadn't expected anybody to join him since it is so cold outside but Scorpius had almost immediately chosen to come out himself, setting up an easel. Harry can't help but watch him, surprised by the boy's obvious talent. He'd never known that Scorpius painted, wondering if anybody else does either.
He'd dreamed about Scorpius the night before. He'd dreamed about being in the water with him, letting his hands roam across warm skin, dipping down into his swim trunks. Scorpius' body had felt so good against his and Harry wonders what's wrong with him. Scorpius is so young. He looks even younger the way that he is now, splotches of paint on one cheek, jacket shed to the side since Harry's cast a warming spell across the porch.
Ginny's upstairs, he knows, taking a nap and he's not sure where his own children are but it doesn't really concern him. He's not really doing anything by sitting out here with Scorpius even if it feels that way. He remembers his dream, Scorpius sinking down into the water, mouthing across Harry's chest before pulling his swim trunks down and- No. He can't think about that, certainly not with the boy right there in front of him.
The painting is shaping up nicely and Scorpius doesn't seem to notice the way that Harry hasn't turned a page in a while. Instead, he admires the way that Scorpius looks, admires his body, how he has such a radiant joy on his face. Harry doesn't mean to be attracted to his son's best friend. He really doesn't and he knows that he can't act on it, even if that son's best friend seems like he might be attracted to Harry back. It's wrong.
It doesn't feel wrong between them, though. Harry had done a lot of thinking about his marriage to Ginny, thinking about how they never just sit together anymore. When they're at home, they sit in separate rooms, rarely do things together anymore. Their marriage has lost whatever it used to have. With Scorpius it's different. With Scorpius, Harry likes just sitting with him and he'd been content to just read before he'd been distracted with his looking. But Harry thinks that's just being with somebody new. In the beginning, he'd been like that with Ginny as well.
"I know that you're staring at me," Scorpius says after a while, finishing a stroke before turning to Harry and lowering his paint brush.
Harry flushes, ashamed of getting caught but Scorpius sounds amused by it. Harry knows that he's older, he needs to be the one in control and responsible but it doesn't really feel like he's in control. It feels like Scorpius is. "I didn't know that you painted," Harry responds, trying to make it sound as if that's why it's staring.
Scorpius smirks and Harry knows that he doesn't believe him. "Not many people do. Just my parents and a few of my house-mates. It's not really a very in thing to do."
"And you care what other people think?" Harry asks.
It's too late when he realizes how challenging that the words sound. Scorpius sets his paint brush down completely and sits in the chair with Harry, their thighs pressed together in a way that should be uncomfortable but it isn't. Harry's breath catches as he looks at Scorpius, at how close the boy is. He knows he should move away, press as close as he can to the other side of the chair or even stand up. He doesn't.
Scorpius leans in, intending on pressing his lips to Harry's but Harry has enough composure to pull away, shaking his head. "Scorpius, no."
"Why not?" Scorpius asks softly, not sounding put-off in the slightest. Instead, he scoots even closer which Harry didn't think was possible. He's half in Harry's lap now and Harry glances over at the windows but they're off to the corner. There's no way that anybody can see them unless they come outside or stick their head physically out the window. Scorpius reaches out, grabbing one of Harry's hands and Harry looks down at their connected hands. "I know that you want it. I saw you looking at me and how you held me in the water. I want it too, Harry."
Harry wonders if Scorpius realizes what he's asking for. He's so young, so innocent to the world but Harry's quickly realizing that that's partly what he finds so amazing about the boy. He sees things so simply. If Harry doesn't love Ginny anymore then he should leave her. If he wants to kiss the underage boy then he should. It's just so easy to Scorpius. "Scorpius, I could get in trouble. Your father would kill me."
"I won't tell," Scorpius promises and Harry just wants to laugh because it's so cliché and cry because damn it, he wants to kiss him. He wants to feel those lips against his, see if he can taste the difference in kisses between Ginny and Scorpius. He imagines how sweet that Scorpius would taste, wonders how many other boys or girls that he's kissed. "You can, Harry. You can because you want this and I want you. Live a little."
"You keep saying that but it's not that easy," Harry whispers, keeping his eyes resolutely on Scorpius' as he pulls his hand out of his.
That action makes Scorpius frown, a dimness appearing in Scorpius' eyes that makes Harry want to immediately fall on the floor and beg for forgiveness. Those eyes should never look like that. Those eyes should never have anything but the joy and the optimism that Harry's used to seeing in them. "I think it is," Scorpius says simply, standing up and going back to his painting.
Neither one of them say anything as Harry grabs his book and heads inside.
Harry doesn't know what starts the fight but by the time that they've reached the point of talking about the war, he's annoyed enough that he doesn't really want it to end. They're both standing in their bedroom, neither one of them having remembered to throw up some silencing charms so that their kids don't have to listen and yelling at each other. They're both so different than when they got married and it makes Harry so upset but there's nothing he can do about it.
"You act as if everything that happens is my fault. I'm trying to make things run smoothly just like you like it!" Ginny yells, throwing her hands up and shaking her head.
Harry looks at her because it's true. When they were young, he'd been so thrown by everything that had happened to him, growing up too fast and it had been a relief to come home after Auror training to everything in its place. But it's different now. "Yeah, I liked that when we were young. I liked being able to have a home but I don't like you doing everything from criticizing every choice I make to yelling at the kids when they leave their shoes in the wrong place."
Rolling her eyes, Ginny looks at him and she looks angry, angrier than he's seen in a while. He knows that she has her own problems from the war and their childhood and he knows that he should be trying to support her but he can't anymore. Maybe Scorpius is right. Maybe it's time to leave her but it seems like such a big decision, one that terrifies him.
"I'm running the household how I see fit," Ginny says and Harry knows that it's just her being defensive, knows that she doesn't like being criticized but the words rub him the wrong way.
"It's my family too, you know! It's my children and my home and my everything. It's not just yours and you can't just make the decisions for everything."
Ginny lets out a breath and she takes a step closer to Harry. "Then maybe you should remember that instead of acting as if you can't stand to be around us. You spend all your damn time at the office and then you take us out on a vacation where you spend more time reading a book out on the porch than you do with your own wife."
Harry's surprised by the accusation, guilt creeping through him because he knows that that's true. He hasn't wanted to be around her because she's spent half the trip worrying about everything, from whether the self-watering charm that she'd left on the plants is working to what they're going to have for dinner each night. It drives him crazy. "Well maybe you shouldn't be so worried all the time. You don't want to do anything fun! You don't want to spend time with me any more than I want to spend time with you."
"Because I don't like your idea of fun? I'd go out and throw snowballs with you guys and I have with the kids already while we're here! Because I don't want to freeze to death in the water or sit in damn silence on the porch while you read another book? You're right, I don't find that fun! We're not children anymore. I'm not interested in your stupid adventures."
Stupid adventures. Going for a walk in the woods was a stupid adventure to Ginny nowadays. Harry wonders what happened to the fun girl that he used to know and it makes his heart hurt as he looks at her because he doesn't even know her anymore. He wonders for a moment whether she thinks the same thing about him. "I don't want to be boring in our old age. Perhaps we should learn to live a little!"
Harry regrets the words as soon as he says them, even if Ginny doesn't know that they're what Scorpius had said to try to get him to kiss him. They strike Ginny anyway, the assumption that Harry is calling Ginny boring and Ginny just stares at him for a moment before leaving the room. Harry can hear the extra bedroom door slam and he sighs, going to collapse on the bed.
In his own bedroom, Scorpius rolls over in bed, glancing over at Albus. He's surprised that his friend managed to sleep through his parents yelling and he wonders if it's a regular occurrence. Or really, he knows that Albus could sleep through anything.
Scorpius replays Harry saying that they should live a little over and over in his mind. It makes him smirk as he buries his face in the pillow. He wants Harry, badly. He's had a crush on the man since he was young but this is different. It doesn't really feel like a crush anymore. It feels different. Harry makes him feel different.
Harry sleeps restlessly, dreaming of Ginny and Scorpius and his kid's and people's reactions if he and Ginny were to divorce.
Harry doesn't hesitate the next day when Scorpius asks him to take him out swimming. They ask the other children whether they want to go but Harry can feel that they're both relieved when they're able to go alone. Harry doesn't let himself think about how wrong it is as he casts the spell to make the water warmer, leaving his wand close to the edge and slipping into the water with him.
"I heard your fight last night. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself," Scorpius says, swimming out a few feet away from Harry before catching his breath to float on his back.
Harry stares at Scorpius' stomach, can see the way that goosebumps rise on his flesh because of the cold. His nipples are pink, hard. His stomach is flat, no baby fat left on him and Harry feels a spark of envy because of that fact. Harry is an Auror, spends most of his time working out but old age has added a stomach that he just can't seem to get rid of. He has to swallow hard before he can speak. "I shouldn't have said what I did to her. I don't think that she's boring."
Closing his eyes, Scorpius doesn't respond, just lazes in the water. Harry stays, taking it as permission to look and so he does. Scorpius lets out his breath after a few minutes, letting his body drop into the water and Harry's eyes widen when he watches the way that Scorpius moves, sees Scorpius lift his trunks out of the water and toss them towards the edge. "You want to live a little. So let's live."
Harry doesn't look down, knows that the water is clear and warm enough that he'd be able to see Scorpius all the way to his toes if he looked. So he doesn't, just draws in a sharp breath and pulls his trunks off, throwing them to the side. Scorpius grins, swimming closer to him. "I shouldn't be doing this," Harry whispers.
"I knew that you wanted me."
They both gasp as their bodies make contact again, Scorpius wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and one of his legs around Harry's waist. Harry keeps them afloat just barely, both of them kicking as Scorpius looks up at him. There's innocence in Scorpius' eyes as they make contact with Harry's and Harry can't help but think it looks out of place. Here's a boy who just got completely naked and is now pressed up against Harry likes this with that innocent look in his eyes. It's a contradiction.
But Scorpius is innocent. He's young and full of hope. Harry leans in to kiss him without thinking because he knows that there's no way that he can resist. Scorpius is so gorgeous, so trusting and he lets out a whimper when Harry's lips meet his, his lips automatically parting. Harry has to not laugh at the way that Scorpius' tongue presses against his lips, moving too fast, too much for the moment.
"Have you ever kissed anybody before?" Harry asks, pulling back slightly to look at Scorpius.
Scorpius flushes, obvious against his pale skin and he looks embarrassed as he shakes his head. Harry knows that he should pull away, go back to his wife but this gorgeous boy had never even been kissed before. They're there swimming naked together and Harry gave him his first kiss and this kiss is firmer when Harry leans forward. Harry keeps the control of it, wanting to teach Scorpius how to kiss. It demands more from Scorpius and Harry sweeps his tongue through the boy's mouth, claiming him. Scorpius responds with enthusiasm. One arm slides around Scorpius' waist, pulling him in closer and he can feel Scorpius' cock against his stomach where Scorpius is pressed against him.
Scorpius doesn't know what to do with his lips or his tongue or his teeth and Harry works him through it, pulling back for a breath every few moments as he teaches the boy how to kiss. He's caught up, so wrapped up in Scorpius that he barely hears James' voice. He's just grateful that Albus steps on a stick, breaking it underfoot and that causes the two to jerk apart.
Harry swims as hard as he can towards the shore, grabbing his wand and he's barely managed to get their swim trunks back on them with magic before James and Albus come through the clearing, both of them in their swim trunks and carrying their towels.
As James and Albus climb into the water, Harry looks at Scorpius and he can see that Scorpius realizes what almost happened. But underneath that, there's the hopefulness, the desire and Harry knows that Scorpius wants it to happen again. Harry is ashamed to admit that he does too.
