Chapter 2: Our Little journey and Itachi's another man!

Itachi's POV

Chaos, complete chaos was the word. And this was supposed to be one short mission to the water village but no. Tobi had to ruin it because he has a sweet tooth.

I sighed as the shouting continued and the girl wailed. The girl's name as they have learnt from the old woman, whose name was Ai, that the kid's name was Kiki. I sighed as I remembered the night before.

Flashback:

Because the only way to change back is to go through a life and death situation and it's much worse than you thugs have ever gone through," she started snarling again.

"It doesn't matter, we need to change back so . . . " Kisame began but stopped as the old lady gave him a "Shut the hell up already" look.

"You don't understand, this would take months! Possibly a year or maybe even two!" Old lady said while cuddling the kid.

Most of the Akatsuki's eyes popped out of their skulls.

"Why the hell so LONG, hm?" Deidara shouted.

The old lady glared at Deidara.

"If you don't shut that hole in your mouth and let me explain, I'll put you out there in the cold freezing rain!" Old lady snapped.

For the first time the Akatsuki noticed the pounding rain outside. Itachi sighed.

"Can you explain why it would take such a long amount of time to accomplish this task?" Itachi asked politely.

The old lady sighed.

"Seems like I'm not getting rid of you guys. My name's Ai Tetsu, for now please call me Tetsu-sama, -san or -sensei please. Now that you have switched souls, which means you've upset her somehow, that means you have to open up her heart to you. You have to gather 12 Kitsu crystals and each time you come to get one, you will be challenged, sometimes alone, sometimes together." Tetsu-san explained.

The Akatsuki stared at her. Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched.

"You mean I have to stay in Blondie's body for possibly a year and more, trying to gather crystals?" He asked, disbelief and utter annoyance in his voice.

"Yes," She said bluntly.

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING (HM)!" Most of the Akatsuki yelled and fell on their face.

Tetsu-san raised her eyebrows.

"Well if you don't want to do it, that's fine as it saves me the trouble of going with you," Tetsu-san shrugged.

"Tetsu-san, you would be coming with us?" Zetsu asked.

"Just to observe, there is no way I would be leaving my baby in your hands!" Tetsu-san said in ultimate surprise at the thought.

"Wait, so you're her mother, hm?" Deidara asked getting of his face.

Tetsu-san's vein popped out on her forehead.

"Deidara, shut up and let's hear more about this task," Itachi said, annoyed.

"I only know where the first crystal is, from there we will be getting clues to the next one, remember there's always a challenge to get the crystal and if you fail it then . . . you have to wait 2 weeks before being able to try again." Tetsu-san finally finished.

"Well that clear's that all up, we will leave first thing tomorrow but for now we have to finish our mission and tell Pein about the delay," Itachi commanded.

Deidara snorted.

"More like from our little nightmare, hm."

Tetsu-san put down the kid and patted her head.

"I will only help if absolutely necessary. By the way, her name's Kiki," and with that she took Kiki's hand and walked deeper into the cave.

"Kiki huh, hm," Deidara commented.

"Whatever, lets finish our mission and send a message to Pein about it," Itachi commanded and stood up.

End of flashback . . .

But now it was the day of the trip and only 5 minutes into it . . . Deidara and Kakuzu was strangling each other again, Tobi was being way too hyper and apparently wanting to carry Kiki while walking, Kisame was complaining in his ear about not being able to use his sword anymore because of switching souls, Tetsu was screaming that she wouldn't let anyone carry Kiki yet, Hidan was cursing so many colorful words that could deafen them and did I mention he was screaming these out and oh, what do you know Kiki was wailing, laughing and hiccupping!

Itachi soon got lost in his thought . . .

Why yes, Pein, I would love to go on a mission with some of my team mates that are idiots, why yes, I would like to change into a bunny so I can complete my mission, why yes, I would love to be struck by lightning and get my soul stuck into someone else's body and going on a journey for maybe a year and more with 6 idiots that can't bloody shut up and a wailing brat, of course Pein, I would fucking love to!

Jeez, you are annoyed! But come on, don't you think if we dyed the kid's hair black, cut it short and put some boys' clothes on, don't you think she would look like Sasuke-kun?

Who the hell are you?

That's so rude! I'm your inner self now back to my question to Sasuke-kun and the kid!

Err . . . yeah I guess she would look like Sasuke, but to think I have to be stuck with you for probably more than a year. This. Is. Gonna. Be. HELL!

Correction, once someone's inner self awakens, he/she will never leave the person until maybe they want to. I'm so glad that our soul got stuck into Zetsu's body since that helped me awaken but not that I want to stop our friendly chat but your friends are kind of in a tangle.

. Hate. Zetsu!

I turned to see what my so called inner self pointed out to me.

I stood there as I see all the idiots tangled up together, legs, arms, heads and every other part of their body was tangled up together and next to them I saw Tetsu-san, panting, putting a arm on Kiki as if to protect her, which in my case was what she was doing.

Akatsuki's POV . . .

Itachi raised his eyebrows at them, finally taking notice!

"Must I even ask." more of a statement then a question.

"FUCK OFF AND GET US OUT OF THIS NOW, HM!" Deidara yelled at anger.

"No," Itachi stated bluntly.

"Why the FUCK not,(hm)?" Deidara and Hidan yelled together.

"You guys don't fucking shut up. If you want to finish this mission quick enough, I advise that you shut your mouth and just walk."

The group noticed him swearing and took the hint of "Shut that hole in your face".

Itachi untangled them as soon as they nodded and they started walking again except for a quick word to each other which was . . .

"Tobi is a good boy."

"Kakuzu, you will be literally dead if you cut my hair, hm."

"Kisame, once we set camp, you're giving me the rest of my money or ELSE!"

"I miss you, my precious sword."

"I miss my other side."

"I'm in FUCKING trouble with Jashin-sama!"

As they started waking again and really just walking, Tetsu-san quickly walked past Itachi but whispered something quickly to him before she took the lead.

"This isn't a mission . . . Uchiha."

Time skip to night time . . .

"Oi, Can we set camp, my legs are killing me, hm!" Deidara whined.

"No, we're staying at one of my friends tonight as Kiki needs a proper place to sleep. It's only another 5 minutes to her place," Tetsu-san explained as she approached a little village.

Deidara groaned not caring about all the glares he was getting.

"Is Tetsu-chan's friend as good as Tetsu-chan?" Tobi asked cheerfully.

Tetsu smiled at him. HUH? It's the first time she's smiled at something that doesn't include the brat! Deidara and Hidan thought. Sensing that, they glared at each other.

"Yes, she is very nice but she doesn't except any rude manners so be prepared for a long lecture from her!" Tetsu-san chuckled at the thought of that. There were a few groans. Great! Just great, why did Tobi have to get us stuck in this whole big stupid mess!

They stopped at a small cottage which was furthest from the village.

Tetsu-san knocked on the door. It opened to reveal a woman with long brown hair plaited in one plait and wearing a green sweater, with a jean skirt and some piglet slippers.

She gasped as she saw us.

"Hurry up and come in quickly, I just finished preparing some supper," she motioned for us to come and then disappeared round the corner.

The Akatsuki all came into the house but when they tried to follow the lady, Tetsu-san put her arms up to stop them.

"Shoes and coats off, now!" She snapped.

"What the hell for?" Hidan asked in bewilderment, thinking this must be one of the rudest things someone has told him to do.

"Hey, be generous. At least I'm helping you with the beginning of your test, so off NOW!" Tetsu-san commanded, no longer in a calm voice.

Some of the Akatsuki sighed but obeyed.

They followed Tetsu-san to room which apparently was a dining room and the table was already set up and the woman from earlier standing there, smiling at them.

"So sorry about not introducing myself, my name is Tsukihana Sari, please call me Sari-chan! Nice to meet you and your names' are?" Sari asked.

"Sari-chan! Tobi is happy to meet you and is a good boy!" Tobi beamed and gave Sari-chan a huge bear hug.

Sari beamed from ear to ear.

"My name is Itachi. Nice to meet you Miss," Itachi said politely.

"Deidara, hm."

"Hidan."

"Nice to meet you Miss. My name is Zetsu."

"Kisame, nice ta meet ya."

"Kakuzu. Now can we have something to eat, please!"

Sari nodded to us and pointed to the table.

"Nice to meet you all, please make yourself at home. Ai-chan, if you don't mind?" She asked politely.

Tetsu-san nodded and took Kiki with her to what we all guessed as the kitchen.

Ai's POV . . .

"Well Ai, what a bunch you have there, Oh and hello there, cutie!" Sari said as she picked up Kiki and cuddled her. Kiki giggled in joy.

"No kidding, I guess so far most of them aren't getting on a good start to their test," I inwardly smirked as I said this.

Nice little punishments for those brats after supper.

Sari laughed.

"So how come when they introduced themselves, it sounded a half-lie AND A HALF-TRUTH?"

"Souls got swapped, but that Tobi is a pleasure to have."

Sari's eyes widened.

"You mean they're going to do the Heart-releaser test?" Sari asked in belief.

I nodded.

"I'll talk to you later about this. Let's serve supper, kay," Sari said as she grabbed some plates and I did the same.

Akatsuki's POV . . .

Finally what seemed like forever, the three (counting Kiki) came back with some food.

Once Deidara, Kakuzu, Hidan and Kisame got their food they quickly started gobbling it up.

Sari forced a smile.

Guess we're in for her lecture, ah who cares, how bad could it be?

"Tuck in,"

Time skip to after Supper . . .

"Well boys, it's time to sleep but I have to have a little talk with a few of you. Who are Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu and Kisame, please? Oh and just so you know, Hidan, you will share a room with Zetsu. Deidara, you will be with Itachi. Kisame you will be with Tobi-kun and Kakuzu you will have your own room. Thank you, you 3 may go now."

They all nodded and Ai took Kiki's hand and whispered something to her.

"Come on sweetie, time to bath." And with that, the 3 guys and 2 girls were gone.

"Now the reason I have asked you 4 to stay is because . . ."

Another Time skip: In Tobi's room . . .

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way . . ." Tobi sang the Christmassy song to himself but was cut off when the door flew open and he saw a red faced, and can you imagine it, RED face Kisame with beads of sweat rolling down his face and he was panting.

He jumped onto one of the beds and instantly fell asleep.

Tobi stared at him.

"Kisame-kun wasn't a good boy like Tobi."

With Kakuzu . . .

Kakuzu opened the door to his room and shut it quickly. He, like everyone else, was red in the face, sweating and panting.

This is seriously gonna FUCKING haunt me forever man!

In Zetsu's and Kakuzu's room . . .

Zetsu was already asleep when Kakuzu came back.

That woman should be in JAIL! Her "little talk" should be illegal from ever coming from her oh so polite mouth!

With Itachi and Deidara . . .

Itachi read his book until the blond bomb shell came back.

Wow, doesn't he look great?

Jeez, what did that woman do to him?

You? Again?

That's so mean! I am a part of you so don't be like that! Oh, the Barbie is saying something!

"I hate this galaxy, hm!"

Itachi raised his eyebrows at him.

Deidara just ignored him and went to sleep immediately. Itachi put down his book and turned off the light.

So do ya think we should sneak in the kid's room and turn her into SASUKE-KUN? Do you? Do you?

Do you ever shut up and no, we are not changing the girl to a he okay, so go to sleep.

You're no fun at all!

Hn.

Oh come on, you know you want to! Oh and do you want to see Sasuke-kun naked when he was a kid?

Huh?

Suddenly an image buzzed into Itachi's mind. His eyes widened.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!" Itachi shouted out loud.

"Huh, what the hell Itachi, hm?" Deidara asked in confusion.

I just changed the image to make Sasuke-kun sexier, that's all!

"You better shut up if you know what's good for you so SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" He yelled again.

Deidara's POV . . .

Why the Hell was Itachi swearing? Man, I knew one day he would go bonkers, I guess this is part 2. Part 1 was doubting my Art!

Goodnight, oh cruel world and could you do me a favor and blow up Sari? She's a WITCH!

Author's chat

Kitty-chan: Okay all the things I wanted to say in the beginning I'm gonna say now since I was too lazy to do it in the beginning. Kay, THANK YOU gaarasgirl389 and 15-timer for reviewing my first chapter. There for, I dedicate this chapter to you 2 and AKATSUKICHIBIS789 and vampy-chan321 for favouriting my story! =D Thank you!

The story still isn't as funny as I want it to be but it's still only the beginning! =) Yeah if some of you think Itachi is bit OCish I think it's only for this chapter since his limit was pushed a bit. Not much about Kiki mentioned in this chapter but I hope you guys don't mind.

Please, please Review and continue reading my story and once again thx to the four I mentioned earlier, you guys gave me lots of inspiration to write the chapter. Thank u!

Okay guys, whoever reviews my story or does anything nice like favouriting my story then the next chappy will be dedicated to you.

Okay once again (sorry about repeating myself so many times '=D) plz review they help a lot! =D