Hayley...

It hurt her to do it, but she felt like she had no choice. She couldn't ruin his marriage, even if not telling him the truth would cost her happiness.

Quick AN: Bold Italic is flashback.

One night. One stupid night, and now she was in this impossible position. One night of pure drunken passion, something she thought could be love one day, like it was before, has lead to all of this. This would ruin her life, her career, her figure. She had to do something about it.

She was going to be a Mum. And Joseph Byrne was going to be a Dad.

Instantly, her mind dashed straight through the possibilities, every scenario she could think of mentally planned out, every outcome the same apart from one.

She was going to have to abort.

She couldn't do it, she couldn't ruin Joe's happiness. As far as Jac knew, he was happy with Faye, he was married to Faye. There was no choice in the matter, she simply couldn't do it.

Her eyes glazing over, she'd realised how much she had softened over the years. Well, well well, Jac Naylor had gone and got herself a conscience.

'I've got to do it!' she said, arguing with herself. 'There is no way out. I can't hurt him again!'

Starting up the car, for once she didn't have her motorbike, she set off home, her mind still burning with the questions, possibilities and the sheer reality of her situation.

And she found herself looking back. To the night that changed everything, and the morning she'd rather forget.

She found him at the bar, sad and alone, drinking red wine, the bottle beside him, getting to be half empty.

Pulling up a chair beside him, she sat down and began to pour a glass.

'Drinking alone?' she asked, continuing to pour.

'Not anymore it appears,' he replied glumly.

Finishing pouring his glass of wine, Jac started to pour her own. Placing the bottle down, she saw Joseph pick up his glass straight away.

Suspiciously, Joseph asked, 'So go on then, what do you want to know?' Swirling his wine glass slightly, he brought the goblet to his lips and took a long gulp, opening his throat for the alcohol he was so desperately seeking. 'Has she left me?'

Trying not to be harsh, Jac replied, 'I already asked you that, and you already made up a story.' Taking her wine, she sipped some of it.

'Well, yes and no,' he replied vaguely, drumming his fingers on the table nervously.

'Yes and no what?' she asked, partly confused, and partly wanting to get more out of him.

'Err,' he replied intermittently. 'Yes she has left me, and err, no she hasn't.' By this point, the alcohol in him was surfacing, giving him a partial drunken quality.

'I wouldn't drink anymore,' she said, slightly concerned for him, and moving the glass away from his reach.

Ignoring her and taking back his drink, Joseph said, 'The things women do. They string you along, just in case.' Realising that he may have touched a nerve on what had happened between them in the past, he came to a halt and began to change the subject. 'Anyway, I suppose you want me to thank you for, uh, covering for me today?'

'Absolutely,' she replied, partially cheery, playing with the glass. 'And saving your arse from Tammy Minard.'

Seeing the downtrodden look on his face as he took another gulp of wine, she said, 'Anyway, don't mention it, delighted. Anytime, whatever, it's sorted.' By now, she was trying to hint as subtly as she could that she'd always be there for him.

'Why?' he asked boldly, wanting to just come out and say it without shame.

'Why what?' she replied, trying to brush it off.

'What's in this for you?' he asked back. 'Well there's got to be something in it for you.'

'Well,' she said, coming up with an answer in her head. 'Maybe I just don't want you to suffer.' There was an element of honesty in her voice, making her that tiny bit believable, even though everyone knew her to speak in lies.

'Oh yeah?' he asked in surprise, not believing her. 'Well, you've been the cause of so much of it...'

Slightly hurt, she replied softly, 'Quite. Exactly. I'm consumed with guilt.' Even though he thought she was lying, deep inside she was actually wracked with guilt at what she did to him, how she broke his heart.

Turning around and looking back at her, he gave her a small smile, and smiling in return, she said, 'I am.' Picking up the bottle, she began to top up their glasses. 'Deep down, I am.'

Looking down at his glass, he asked bluntly, 'Are you trying to get me pissed?'

Seeing this as a blatant fact that he was, because he'd never use the term pissed, she said, 'Look, I'm not hitting on you, okay in the absence of your fiancée if that's what you're thinking. Don't flatter yourself.' It was true, she wasn't trying to hit on him, it wasn't right.

'I didn't say it,' he said, drinking.

'I'm just trying to show concern if that's alright,' she said sharply.

'Whatever,' he replied, going back to his drink.

'Yeah,' she said, picking hers up too.

He looked away from her, then back towards her with a smile.

Later on, after god knows how many bottles they had shared, Jac said, 'You know what I think? This has nothing to do with you being a father.

Picking up the bottle, Joseph filled up her glass.

Continuing, Jac said, 'If the relationship works, and if you love someone, then what does it matter?'

Filling up his glass and placing the bottle back down on the bar, Joseph said, 'What would you know about that?'

Looking up at him as he moved the bottle, and there being a short silence, she replied, 'Zilch.' But she was lying, because she had known love before, a love with him. 'Zero, nada. But that doesn't stop me assuming a position arguing it though, does it?'

'So life is an intellectual exercise, an emotional puzzle, right?' he asked her. As she nodded, he said, 'You know what? This is exactly what I was talking about earlier with Daisha.'

'What's that?' she replied.

Raising his eyebrows, Joseph said, 'Oh just men are more emotional...'

'Yeah absolutely,' exclaimed Jac.

'Trusting, easier to manipulate,' said Joseph as a continuation of before, cutting Jac deeply as she knew that he was talking about their relationship.

'Yeah but you must like a challenge Joseph you must do!' said Jac. 'Women with a past, a bit of edge, something amiss, a bit dangerous...'

'Women with thorns,' he said, finishing her trail of thought.

'Poetry?' she asked. 'I'm flattered, really.'

As he looked up at her, there was a long pause, but for once between them, it was not awkward.

'If you don't suffer,' said Jac. 'You don't feel life.'

'Are you talking about me or you?' he asked, as if sensing her thoughts.

Running her hands through her hair and leaning on her arm she said, 'Both of us really. And that's why I understand you, and you understand me.'

'I never understood a thing about you,' admitted Joseph. 'You are a mystery...Do you know what I really want?'

Rolling her eyes, she said, 'You said, a baby.'

Shaking his head, he said, 'Nope.'

Rolling her eyes again, she replied, 'Gosh you're so fickle. What then?'

Licking his lips and moving closer to her, he said, 'I want an uncomplicated relationship.'

'That's a poor lonely hearts page,' she said. 'And what would you do if you had this mythical uncomplicated woman?'

'If she was honest, honourable and faithful, I would never let her go,' he disclosed quietly.

Looking into his eyes, she turned away and said, 'Fat chance!'

The both of them smiled and drank their wine.

'You know,' said a getting drunker Jac. 'You know, Faye is a wise woman, honestly. You both just need some clarity, am I right?'

'She needs clarity, I don't,' stated Joseph harshly.

'Yeah,' said Jac. 'You just someone that will give you kids and stay at home washing their grubby faces. No wonder she needs some space to think about it.'

Looking up, Joseph sat up and went to talk to Linden, while Jac contemplated her wine glass.

As Joseph left, Jac scooped up her bag and followed him.

She found him in the flat, listening to the radio and drinking more wine.

'I just wanted to make sure you're okay,' she said softly as he picked up his keys. Deciding that there was no time like the present, she said, 'I've got something to tell you. I'm not trying to force anything, but you know, don't you? As well as I do. I just don't want to walk around that anymore. I wanted to say that.'

He just sat there and looked at her. After an awkward silence, he pulled her into a hug, and found Jac crying into his shirt about how relieved she was that everything was out in the open. He found himself pressing his lips to hers, and enjoying it as it grew more passionate, his arms around her waist. His mind was totally on her, and he was loving it.

Taking her hand, he lead her to the bedroom, wanting to relish every moment that she was by his side.

The next morning, she wanted to forget. He had forgotten everything important about their night together, and thought that she was Faye. Running home, she buried herself in her pillow and wept, Joseph Byrne did not love her.

Snapping out of her daydream, she realised that she was home, and had got their on autopilot. Parking the car outside, she sat there for a second, and realised a few things.

1. She couldn't tell Joseph. It would ruin his marriage. It was 100% clear that he was devoted to Faye rather than her.

2. She couldn't get rid of Joseph's baby. It was half of him and half of her, and it would be walking and talking. She was going to have this baby in secret, raise them in secret, and keep their existence in the dark from their father.