Chapter 2: Suffocated

Adrian couldn't help but look at him as he sat two rows in front of her. As soon as he walked in the room it was like everyone else had disappeared and he was the only person there. He didn't acknowledge her presence when he sat down, which she was silently glad for. She didn't think she could handle it. Especially since Grace wasn't here to help her out.

"Alright class, I'm gonna assign you your seats and your first project partners for the year." Our newest English teacher, Ms. Taylor, announced in a forward tone as she leaned against her desk looking at a binder.

Adrian rolled her eyes and stayed silent when the students around her collectively groaned at the news. They were seniors for gods sake, they had to get over it.

Ms. Taylor looked up from her binder and rolled eyes. "Oh get over it! Learn to actually like each other people!" she joked, earning a few laughs.

Adrian smirked at that. She was actually gonna like this teacher. She got up with everyone else as she read their partners off of her list. She purposely avoided standing next to Ricky and it was when she moved past him to the end of the line of her classmates that he finally looked at her with a hardened expression. She averted her eyes from him, though she could still feel his brown eyes boring into her body.

"Underwood and Lee, your partners!" the teacher called out.

Adrian stared with her eyes wide at the teacher in pure shock and annoyance. Irony was being such a bitch to her today.

"Uh, Ms. Taylor, can I have another partner?" she quietly spoke up, causing all eyes to go to her.

She silently cursed herself for drawing this much attention to herself and outwardly ignored the stares. Ms. Hall raised an eyebrow at her new student and shook her head.

"Sorry Ms. Lee, but if I assign you a new partner, then everyone will want one." she told her, looking back down at her binder.

The Latina groaned in annoyance and slowly went to her seat, where Ricky was already ignoring her presence. She sat down quietly and turned away from Ricky, glad to be sitting next to the window so she could distract herself. Again, she felt his eyes on her back. They were like blazing heat burning into her skin, unbearable and painful. She tried to pay attention as Ms. Taylor began explaining their first assignment, interviewing your partners and writing a brief synopsis on what you learned. Fate hates me.

"You'll need partner communication for this one people!" Ms Taylor told them as she walked behind her desk and sat down, she looked at Adrian in particular. "That means actually facing your partner Ms. Lee."

'She's seriously trying to kill me.' Adrian thought in annoyance as she begrudgingly turned in her seat to face Ricky, who still stared at her with an ice cold stare. She flinched a bit, but relatively ignored it as she took out a notebook to begin the assignment like everyone else.

"So how was your summer?" she mumbled to him, earning an even colder glare.

"That's all you have to say?" he snapped at me underneath his breath.

Adrian didn't look at him as she spoke. "What do you expect me to say?"

Ricky scoffed and stood with her, trying to get her to look at him. "I don't know maybe a lame ass excuse as to where you've been for the past year! Better yet, why you even left in the first place."

She glared down at the pen in her hands as she scribbled down her assignment, not daring to look up at her ex. "Why do you care?" she asked bitterly. "We're not together anymore you shouldn't care."

"Oh don't give me that shit Adrian." he growled, still in a whisper. "What the hell happened?"

Adrian sighed and closed her eyes, setting down her pen calmly as she tried to remain her composure. "Ricky, leave it alone please. You shouldn't care." she whispered.

Ricky scrunched his face in confusion at her sudden actions. She was tense and her entire body seemed to clench up tightly. Her face was scrunched in pain, her hands clenched the table in front of her until her knuckles began turning white.

"Adrian..." he said softly before touching her hand.

Adrian's eyes shot open and she looked at him. Her breath clenched as she stared into his chocolate brown eyes. The same brown eyes that belonged to her. The nausea hit her like a ton of bricks and she immediately covered her mouth as she felt the bile come up her throat. Yanking her hand away from his, she ran out of the room, ignoring the teachers protest as she did. Ricky could only stare after her as she did, confusion evident on her face.

~*~*~*~

Ricky's eyes scoured the lunch area outside for the head of blonde hair that he was sure would be out there. If Ben and Adrian wouldn't tell him anything, he had to talk to Grace. He hadn't talked to her about Adrian, but he had to know. Grace was her best friend, she had to know something.

He smirked when he found the perky little blonde eating lunch with Ben, both of them looking pretty happy together. There was only one person missing from beside Grace. Adrian.

"Hi Ricky." Grace greeted as he approached them.

He nodded a greeting at her and sat next to Ben, who glanced in between them nervously, which Grace noticed right off the back. "Is something wrong?" Grace asked them both.

"Whats up with Adrian?" Ricky boldly asked.

Grace, much to his surprise, looked at him innocently and shrugged. "What do you mean?"

Ricky sighed. "Grace, be the good christian and don't lie to me. You know as well as I do that something is seriously wrong with Adrian." he told her.

Grace raised an eyebrow. "And why do you think that?"

"Besides the fact that she disappeared for a year," Ricky started. "She doesn't talk to me, and she doesn't talk to anybody."

"Adrian's never been a social butterfly." Grace concluded. "You should know that."

Ricky rolled his eyes. "Grace your killing me here."

"Ricky, its Adrian's business." the blonde told him, a seriousness in her voice that slightly shocked him.

Ricky looked to Ben, who silently stared at his tray of food, and then looked back to her. "Fine." he said finally, much to their relief. "But eventually I will find out."

Grace nodded. "And I hope you do."

Ricky stared at both of them before getting up and stalking off. Grace sighed with relief and looked at her boyfriend with worry. "He's going to find out." she concluded.

Ben shrugged. "Probably, Ricky's not stupid." he looked at the blonde. "It could be for the better, couldn't it?"

Grace slowly nodded, not sure herself. She had to talk to Adrian.

~With Adrian~

Adrian washed her mouth out for what felt like the millionth time today to rid herself of the awful taste in her mouth. She had spent the rest of her English class and Lunch in the bathroom emptying the very little contents of her stomach. It wasn't the first time it had happened, but this time it was much worst. She tried desperately to rid herself of the painful images of comparison forever stuck in her head. His eyes reminded him so much of hers. If her eyes showed any signs of life... they would have looked like his. Exactly like his. The very thought of it made her stomach gurgle with nausea again.

"Adrian?"

The Latina shot her eyes to the doorway and saw none other than Amy Juergens standing there, looking at her with worry. The last year had been good to Amy. She was still thin and still had her long brown hair, but she looked more grown up, more full. Adrian could see the strain of motherhood evident on her face, but it didn't take away from the younger girls beauty what so ever. If anything, it made her more beautiful.

Adrian stood up straight and grabbed a paper towel, wiping her mouth quickly. "Hey Amy." she mumbled.

Amy walked closer to her, making Adrian feel extremely nervous. Was she going to bitch her out like Ricky had? She wouldn't blame her if she did... She deserved it. What Amy did though, surprised her beyond belief. She hugged her.

Adrian stiffened as Amy brought her into a bone crushing hug before putting her arms around the girl she once called friend. Amy sighed and stepped away from her, giving her a smile.

"Its great you've come back." Amy said with a smile. "Everything's been different without you right next door."

Adrian scoffed a little and leaned against the bathroom sink. "Doesn't feel great."

Amy nodded in understanding and sighed deeply before leaning beside her friend. "Are you okay?"

Adrian nodded quickly and recited the excuse she had been planning since she first decided to come back here. "Yeah, just first day jitters getting to me." she laughed nervously. "plus PMS. Bad combination."

Much to Adrian's relief, Amy laughed at her attempt at a joke. For a moment Adrian contemplated if she was a good actress or a good liar. She wasn't exactly lying. This first day of school was nerve racking as hell for her. She was lying about the real reason behind it though...

"if you don't mind me asking," Amy began with a curt breath. "Where have you been?"

Adrian took in a sigh and decided to herself to ease in the truth between the lines. After all the crap she did to Amy, she at least deserved that.

"I went away to live with my grandmother in Arizona for awhile." Adrian told her quietly. "The drama here was way too much to handle at the time."

Amy nodded again and slung her book bag over er shoulder with a sigh, satisfied with the answer. "I think we all were to some extent." Amy agreed with her. "I have to go, our conductor will kill me if I'm late to band again."

Adrian nodded and sent the girl a farewell smile as she turned to leave. Thinking back, she didn't really comprehend any real reason for her to hate Amy. Ricky, was the only logical answer she could come up with. But looking back...she couldn't help but think of how stupid she had been back then.

"Oh and Adrian?" Adrian looked up at the brunette as she stood in the bathroom doorway smiling. "Ricky doesn't hate you. He was just worried."

Adrian shrugged her shoulders. "I guess so."

Amy gave her one last smile before she left, leaving Adrian alone to her thoughts. She stared at herself in the mirror, and yet in her mind didn't recognize the person in the mirror. She didn't recognize her own dead hazel eyes or her pale skin. She didn't recognize the person who she had become. And for some strange reason...

She was happy.


"So how was school?"

Adrian shrugged her shoulders with a sigh as she sat back on the oh-so comfortable couch she had found herself in for the past month or so. "Had another incident." she said quietly. "It was minor, but doesn't change that I had one."

The man across from her nodded. "We both expected it to happen. I'm proud of you for lasting this long without one."

Adrian smiled slightly and nodded. "Two weeks. New Record."

Dr. Ken Fields smiled at his patient. "How does that feel?"

Adrian shrugged again. "How is it supposed to feel?" she asked, her voice cracking a bit with emotion. "I don't know whether or not to feel accomplished or disgusted with myself."

"From the progress that you've made in just two months." Ken said seriously, scribbling down on his pad. "I would definitely feel accomplished." he shrugged. "But I'm not you."

"Lucky." Adrian mumbled as she slumped deeper into the couch.

Ken sighed at the teenager in front of him and tapped his pen repeatedly on his notebook. "Adrian, just because you have another incident doesn't mean your taking steps back. Your going forward. I told you from the beginning that the healing process was going to take time. Each day is another step forward."

Adrian nodded slowly at his words. She counted the days in her head. Exactly 104 days since it happened. 70 days since she started coming to Dr. Fields. 5 or so hours since her last incident.

"When do I take steps back then?" Adrian asked, fiddling with a loose string on her shirt. "What's gonna make me get worst?" she finalized looking up at her doctor.

Ken Fields sighed. "Another patient of mine asked me the same thing. 'What's crossing the line' and 'What if I do something that ruins it all'. The thing that you both don't understand is you have to set that limit yourself." he told her. "Don't be so quick to reprimand your progress."

Adrian smiled. "I wasn't." she bit her lip and let out a long breath. "How much time do we have left?"

Ken checked his watch. "Plenty of time actually." he looked at her. "Why?"

Adrian gnawed at her lower lip, the images flooding back to her head. She looked her therapist in the eyes. "She has his eyes."

A/N: Read and Review please