Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Sometimes I cosplay as Canada when no ones around and spend hours just looking at myself, but still don't own OHSHC.
Warning: Some violence, swearing, sexual situations, an extremely OOC Haruhi, ect...
"Sam-niichan! Kat-neechan!"
The Host Club whipped their heads to see Haruhi running off towards the two girls, with a smile threatning to break her face in half. Their jaws dropped when Haruhi tackle hugged them, suprisingly not knocking them over. Sam and Kat just looked at her with fondness (don't know how to describe fond feelings in pples eyes) while Sam just petted her hair.
"You okay Haru-Haru? They aren't molesting you eh?"
Tamaki promptly burst into tears.
"I AM NOT A MOLESTER! HARUHI, TELL THESE HORRID GIRLS THAT I AM YOUR FATHER!'
Haruhi immediatly stopped snuggling in Sam's (or apparent lack there of) chest and slowly turned towards Tamaki, the good ol' glare o death fixated on him.
"DON'T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF SAM-NIICHAN AND KAT-NEECHAN! THEY ARE THE BEST SIBLINGS EVER AND YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!"
"MOMMY! HARUHI'S BEING REBELIOUS! ITS ALL THOSE GIRLS FAULT! ESPECIALLY THE ONE WITH THE RED HAIR! SHE'S A BAD INFLUENCE ON MY DARLING DAUGHTER! SHE'S PROBABLY A GANGSTER AND A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT! GET HER OUT OF HERE!"
While Sam looked as if she couldn't give less of a rainbow unicorn about what Tamaki was saying, Kat was absolutly livid.
"SHE GOES TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS YOU DUMB-ASS! SHE IS JUST AS SMART, IF NOT SMARTER THAN YOU! DON'T AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THINGS! YOUR THE BAD INFLUENCE! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYWHERE NEAR MY SISTER YOUR IDIOCY MIGHT RUB OFF ON HER!"
While Tamaki sobbed on Kyouya's shirt, the rest of the Host Clun looked at the small girl with fear. Then, Sam went over to her, pulled a bucket out of thin air, and plopped it on her head. After awhile the screams died down and Kat took the bucket off her head, totally calm. The Host Club (excluding Mori and Kyouya) came out from behind Sam.
"Your sister? You guys look nothing alike." the twins said cautiosly.
" They moved in here during summer break and introduced themselves to me. We became friends and they would invite me over for dinner whenever my dad wasn't home. They also helped me out when these guys were harassing me and they got me a part time job at a restraunt. Sometimes I sleep over at their place. They're just like an older brother and sister!" Haruhi explained. She then turned around and faced Sam with a glare.
"Sam-niichan! You were'nt studying! You never study! What were you really doing!"
"He-he I was watching the hockey game." Sam said sheepishly, "It's the Vancouver Canucks versus the Chicago Black Hawkes. They're bitter rivals and it's hard to concentrate when ya'll are shouting about evil doppelgangers and rebellious daughters eh?"
"Isn't Vancouver and Chicago really far away? Why are you watching it if it's not even in this country?"
Immediatly when Tamaki said that, fire erupted in Sam's eyes.
"Hockey is the best sport ever eh? Me and Kat came from Vancouver anyways so it's our favourite team, and The Canucks have lost to them in important games before so this game is one of the most important for me! I really need to get back to the game though, and I was cooking dinner so i'm gonna go back to that eh? Haru-Haru wanna join?"
"Yeah that sounds great! I'll just let my dad know!"
As Haruhi went to her place to tell her dad, the Host Club started walking into the girls place, until Kat stopped them.
"And where do you think your going?"
"To watch the commoners hockey game of course! Besides I don't want you two to be taking advantage of my darling daughter!"
"Your not her father eh? He's this really cool dude, not some extremely flamboyount blonde who probably has wet dreams about Haru-Haru. Besides, Kat's straight and I'm asexual." Sam shouted from inside their apartment.
"HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH HORRENDOUS CRIMES! AND WHATS AN ASEXUAL!"
"Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction, or the lack of intrest in sex. It can also mean lack of sexual orientation, where they simply aren't attracted to any gender." Kyouya explained, looking somewhat suprised. "Only about 1% of the human population is asexual."
"Yup! As the smart dude said, I'm not attracted to either sex!"
While Kyouya gave her the evil glare, Tamaki was standing there bewildered.
"How can you not be attracted to anyone! That should never happen! You will never know the beauty and magic of love! Thats it! We must find you a boyfriend!" Tamakli declared, expecting a shower of praise. Instead what he got was a blank stare from Sam.
"Dude, it's not a choice, I was just born this way eh? I might be attracted to someone in the future, but thats highly unlikely. You shouldn't meddle in other people's business, besides i'm happy as an asexual eh? There's less drama. I'm also gender-confused, but that also makes my life more fun. So don't try to change people just because of your beliefs eh?"
While Tamaki stood there, unsure what to say, the twins came up behind Sam and wrapped their arms around her shoulders.
"How does being gender-confused and asexual work?"
That was when Kat decided to add in, "She just doesn't feel the need to have a relationship. Or have sex for that matter. As for the gender-confusment thing, it's actually kinda funny. Sometimes she wakes up and forgets that she doesn't have a penis, and she acts like a man. A very stereotypical Canadian man. It's actually really good in some ways because she always wins when we play Are You Nervous? and truth and dare and stuff like that. Also, if you want to go into our place, you have to lower Haruhi's debt by 10,000 yen."
While Kyouya was writing in his notebook furiously, not paying attention to the transaction going on, Tamaki shouted "Deal!" and shook hands with Kat. When Haruhi walked out from her apartment and was immediatly glomped by a happy Sam who explained the situation to her. Suddenly, a loud snap of a pen being broken in half and an aura of pure evil started eminating from Kyouya.
"I'm afraid we'll have to decline. Lets go."
"Soooooooooooo-ry~! The club president already agreed! So you have to lower her debt!" Kat said with a smirk.
While Kyouya was busy putting the fear of God into Tamaki, everyone else entered the girls apartment. The looked like someone had took multiple cans of paint with different colours and threw them on the walls. There were many posters and paintings on the walls, one of the posters was of the two girls, with some english words underneath. They had a beanbag chairs instead of a sofa and a small glass coffee table in the middle. They had a flat screen tv on top of a small, ark cherry wood coloured table. They had a standard kitchen with a microwave, an oven and stove top, a small fridge, a toaster oven, a deep fryer, a spice rack, a bread maker, a utensil jar, and a steel sink. The twins wandered into their bedroom where they saw the same splatter paint effect on the walls, though it wasn't very visible due to the multiple photographs on the wall. None of them were of people, and they came in all sizes. They had a king sized western style bed with bright red sheets. the bed had many pillows, all with a red pillow case and two stuffed animals on the bed, a white polar bear and a black cat. They had a dark cherry coloured night stamd on the side of their bed that had an alarm clock, a box of tissues,a lamp, amd an orange and purple laptop. They had a set of drawers and a small closet as well. As soon as Hunny saw the stuffed animals, he bounced up to Sam and Kat with a smile on his face.
"Are they yours? Do they have names? Mine is named Usa-chan!"
"Mine is the polar bear and his name is Kumajirou eh?" Sam explained, "Kat's is the cat and her name is Sabago."
"Why is there only one bed?"
"Because me and Kat share the bed eh?"
The Host Club looked at them in horror for it was scandalous to do that when your rich. Even the common folk in Japan would never consider that.
"What?" the two girls asked together.
"THAT IS SO INAPPROPRIATE! YOU POOR GIRLS MUST BE SO POOR THAT YOU CANNOT EVEN AFFORD TWO BEDS! THATS IT! I'LL ORDER ANOTHER BED RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"
Before Tamaki could do that, the two girls tackled him.
"Dude calm down! We like sleeping in the same bed! It happens in Canada all the time eh? We can only afford a one bedroom apartment anyways! Sleeping in the same bed saves money anyways eh? Sam shouted.
"BUT IT'S INAPPROPRIATE! AND STOP SAYING EH AT THE END OF YOUR SENTENCES!"
"STOP TRYING TO CHANGE PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T LIVE UP TO YOUR IDEALS EH? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW OUR NAMES AND YOUR JUDGING US EH? AND I CAN'T STOP SAYING EH, EH? I'M CANADIAN EH? I'VE BEEN SAYING EH AT THE END OF MY SENTENCES SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL EH? YOUR BEING RACIST EH?"
While Tamaki was busy cultivating mushrooms and Kat whacking him with a broom trying to get him to stop, Hunny decided to introduce himself.
"I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka but you can call me Hunny! Thats Takashi Morinozuka but you can call him Mori!
"Hi Haninozuka-senpai and Morinozuka-senpai, I'm Sam Lee but you can call me Sam eh? Thats Katerina Miller but she prefers Kat."
"Why do you call us by our full names Sam-chan?"
"I hate the taste of Honey eh? And Mori could mean harpoon or forest, and I don't like either."
"Why don't you like forests?" Mori asked, shocking everyone except for Hunny, Sam, and Kat(who was still scolding a sobbing Tamaki.)
"Freakin forests...every time I go near one, the temptation to enter is too great and I always end up getting lost for hours eh? The tree's never end! And they won't let me chop down the tree's or light them on fire! And the freakin grizzly bears there are vicous eh? Polar bears are waaaay better eh?"
While everyone (besides Kat) stared at her like an alien, Kat stopped yelling at Tamaki and walked up to Kyouya.
"My name is Katerina Miller, what is your name?"
"My name is Kyouya Ootori, pleased to meet you. Can you please explain why you or your friend's backround does not show up?"
Sam went over to the two and said, "Because we're awesome?"
While Kyouya was fiddling with his laptop, trying to figure out why he could'nt get anything on them, the twins went over to the two girls and decided to do their forbidden love act.
"Koaru! Why are you looking at Kat-chan! You should only be looking at me!"
"I'm sorry Hikaru..."
"Koaru!"
"Hikaru!" (don't know how to write their brothery love crap...)
Kat just looked at them with a wtf? look while Sam just gave them a thumbs up and said, "It's great that you two are so open Most gay couples are afraid to afraid to come out!"
"Sam, their twins."
"Really! Well then, thats illegal."
"Yup."
"You didn't think we ere related?"
"No...? You guys don't look alike. Also, while I may support gay rights, I do not support incest eh? Think of your future one eyed babies!"
"Sam... their guys. They can't have babies." kat then turned to the shell shocked twins and said, "Sorry for my friends idiocy. What are your names?"
"Uh..I'm Hikaru-
"And I'm Kaoru-
"And we're the Hitachiin twins!"
"Cool bro." Sam said. When Tamaki heard this, he immediatly came out from his corner, and pointed an accusitory finger at Sam.
"Proper ladies do not say bro! I don't want you hanging around my beautiful daughter!"
"Dude, like I said before, i'm gender confused eh? Besides, being a lady sounds boring eh? I'm not trying to please anybody eh? So you can just fuck off eh? Besides it's Haru-Haru's choice whether she hangs out with eh? Now lets all get inside and watch the hockey game eh?"
As Tamaki sulked in his bean bag chair, everyone else took the remaining bean bags. Sam went off to the kitchen, saying that she was cooking dinner, with
kyouya following her. Once there, Kyouya pinned her against the fridge.
"What are your real names? Why didn't you show up when I looked you up? Why did you lie?"
Sam kept her face blank, before giving a small smirk and flipped Kyouya over so that she was pinning him and moved her face so that they were only centimetres apart.
"Look Ootori-senpai, I don't know. it could be that it's because we're Canadian citizens or that we just haven't showed up on records yet. you shouldn't automatically assume things and attack people eh? I'll answer any questions you want." At that she let a blushing Kyouya go and opened a cupboard where she took out a large wok.
"So? What do you want to ask eh?"
"What are your full names."
"Sam Christine Lee and Katerina Amelia Miller."
"What is your birth date?"
"July 29th, 1995 and November 7th, 1995."
"What country were you born in?"
"I was born in Quebec, Canada and Kat was born in Hong Kong."
"What is your natural hair and eye colour?"
"Me and Kat are naturally brunettes and we both have brown eyes, but I died my hair red eh?"
"Who are your parents and do you have any siblings?"
"Me and Kat are orphans, we don't know who our parents are. We don't know of any siblings."
"Okay, two more questions. Are any of you religious and why did you come to Japan?"
"Kat is a Catholic and I have no religion. We came to Japan on a whim eh?"
"If your an athiest, then why do you wear a cross?"
"You said only two more questions. Now, head along to the living room so I can cook dinner eh?"
As Kyouya left unsatisfied, the hockey game was about to start. At first no one scored, but there were plenty of fights. Everyone was getting bored until Sam and Kat came out with four dishes of food. One was a large bowl of chicken, corn, and egg soup, the second was a vegatable dish, third was a plate of fried rice, and lastly was a plate of beef brisket chow mein. Kat handed out plates, bowls, chopsticks, and spoons. Soon everybody was eating and watching the hockey game. the twins were getting bored until the Canucks scored and Sam jumped up cheering.
"WHOO! TAKE THAT YOU CHICAGO LOSERS! WE OWN THE GAME!"
"Sorry about Sam, hockey is her favourite game."
After that everything was silent until Chcago scored, and Sam started swearing in a language similar to French.
"TABARNAC! âne bâté! CHIOTES!"
"STOP BUTCHERING THE FRENCH LANGUAGE!"
"SHE'S SPEAKING IN QUEBCOIS YOU IDIOT!
After that shouting match, Sam went into the kitchen to calm down. When she came back, to Hunny's delight, she brought a huge tiramisu cake. While everyone was digging in, Sam was watching the screen intensely. It was in overtime, and as soon as the Canucks scored, she jumped up and down and started dancing while shouting Quebecois happily. After awhile, it was time for the Host Club to leave, so Sam and Kat said bye as they went out the door. As soon as the door closed, Sam fell to the floor and started sobbing.
"Whats wrong? What happened in the kitchen?"
"I can't stand it! The stupid blond idiote kept on critizing me just because i'm a little different! And that guy with the glasses kept asking questions! I had to make up things on the spot!"
"Good. Don't listen to Tamaki, your worth way more than he'll ever be. So what should I know?"
"We're now orphans, we don't have any siblings and we don't know who our parents are, our middle name is now Amelia and mine is Christine, and your birthday is November 7th. I forgot to lie about mine."
"Okay, amelia's not bad. Just remember, no one can know who we really are, or else they might find us."
"I know. I'm tired, lets go to bed."
With that, the two girls entered their room. Sam took off her bra and pants so that she was only in her white T-shirt and tomato printed panties, and Kat changed into a pair of purple pajama pants and a grey T-shirt. They climbed into bed, held hands, closed their eyes, and fell into their nightmares.
Finally! It's done!
I just moved so I didn't have a whole lot of time to finish this. Honestly I'm not very happy with this chapter.
Go Canucks! When the Canucks won, I was yelling so loud that the neighbors knocked on my door, but when they found out what I was yelling about, they joined in.
I know it may seem a little slow, but I intend to have more than 20 chapters. so its gonna be a little slow.
I've already fugured out who's gonna be paired with who, and I'll give you a hint.
It'll be something verrry unexpected. ;)
Also It grinds my gears whenever things are revealed really early on like in the first chapter "I got these burns from an assasin!" or something like that, cuz it would never happen like that in real life.
People lie!
So i plan to update every week. Yay.
Thank you to the people who reviewed, it made me turn to goo from all the happiness!
But don't feel obligated to review, do what you wish.
Also I apologize for spelling mistakes and stuff because microsoft word broke down so I jad to use word pad and it has no spell check :(
Well... thats all for now!
~Me
