So, six reviews! :D That was an amazing turn-out, for a first chapter, I think! So, I figured, what the hey? I have the day off, might as well do something productive, being sick and all. So here's the first actual chapter, given that the last was a prologue and such. ._. Supposedly? Eh. Whatever.
You'll notice I'm being deliberately slow to get to the point. I am aware of this. I've been finding that a lot of fics in this genre seem… uh, rushed? So I wanted to try it from a different angle and have at least two chapters to build-up before making everything crystal clear.
I also employed the magic of flashback in this chapter. I know, I'm a terrible human being.
This chapter was written whilst listening to Recessional by Vienna Teng, for those of you who love music and might be at all curious where I get my inspiration. I'm always happy to share music, if anybody wants to PM and chat about it. :3 Or even just comment in reviews. And without further ado…
Chapter One: Sunday Morning After
Damn it, he left the fucking curtains open.
With a groan, Lightning pushed herself upwards, sitting in bed and staring blankly around her own room. He had the common courtesy to leave her in the clothing she'd been wearing the night before after the time she'd punched him out for changing her out of her jeans. Finding a pair of shorts, she hastily performed such a change right then, trying her damnedest to avoid looking at her own reflection every time she passed her vanity mirror. If she didn't look at herself, it wasn't half as pathetic.
Raking a hand through an absolute mess of strawberry blonde, she padded out to her kitchen, drinking in how empty the house was as her head spun (along with the room, for that matter), and her stomach churned.
"It's perfect, don't you think, Claire?"
Hands clasped in front of her, Serah came bounding over, all smiles and bright eyed as she motioned about the house. "It's exactly what we wanted… and totally affordable! We could be all moved in in a matter of weeks… and oh, come on, don't tell me you can't see the potential!"
"Hn…" Her eyes raking over the place, Lightning blanched at both the use of her real name and the raw enthusiasm radiating from the younger woman. She was well-aware that the real reason behind her sister's love of the place was the remarkable similarity it held to their first home, growing up. Before all the moving, and all of the… she shook her head, choosing not to dwell as she drank in the kitchen. Why did it have to be so pink? It wasn't yet, but she could see the wheels spinning in Serah's mind. The countertops would be a darker, crimson pink, the blinds would be a lighter rose, the walls… oh God, there was so much potential.
And then there she was, hands folded and begging 'please' in front of her. Lower lip trembling just so. "Cl - Lightning. Don't you think it's nice?" In other words, please say yes. I love it. I want to live here.
There really wasn't an option from that point forwards. Sighing, she allowed the younger blonde the smallest of grins and nodded her approval. With a squeal, Serah threw her arms about her sister's neck, hopping up and down excitedly as she indeed went on about how nice various shades of pink would look in the kitchen, and her bedroom… how they could decorate their new home.
Home. This was home…
There was the sound of glass hitting ceramic as she slammed the glass of water she was holding against the countertop. Some lilac faded crimson… bullshit. It was pink. Just like Serah had wanted.
Something in her chest tightened, and it tugged on her stomach. She fled the kitchen with her eyes stinging, focusing her attention on anything else. When she found herself doubled over her toilet, it was little surprise. Lightning had done nothing but think about the most disgusting things the entire way to the bathroom. Like the police report about her missing sister, all the potential kidnappers, things about signs of assault and rape…
And when you can't make your mind an absolute fucking void, empty the contents of your stomach the next morning.
Every time she shut her eyes, she saw her there. Serah, smiling, waving. Serah, telling her all about this guy she'd met. Serah, talking animatedly on the phone to some of her friends, telling them all about said guy, how her sister hated him, giggling over it like it was something cute. Serah, looking slightly more serious as she tried to tell her something. Serah, walking out the door with her head down and a ring on her finger. Serah, telling her she loved her, and she'd see her for supper.
Bull fucking shit she would. Broke her goddamn promise -
Lightning heaved, not bothering to try and stop herself as one hand braced her against the edge of the sink that rested beside the toilet, and her other held her hair back as best as she could. It felt like she was empty in more ways than one, but the poison from the previous night just kept coming up. How she had anything left to give was a mystery, even to her. She didn't recall spending this much. Then again, Snow usually settled her tabs nowadays. He might've thought she didn't know, but she could recall two distinct nights in which she most certainly had not gone out intending to drink. In which she'd had no money to speak of on her person, but had still managed to get shit-faced. And given that nobody had come knocking on her door looking for payment or to take her off to jail as a thief, she'd had to wager that the lummox was putting hefty wads of cash down on her behalf.
She felt herself push backwards, panting a bit as she pressed against the tub opposite her toilet, the cool chrome feeling almost good against the spot where her shirt had begun to ride up. After a few minutes of sitting there on the floor, broken and pathetic, she stood, shaking as she cleaned her face and hands, brushing her teeth for good measure. It was looking up here that she caught her own reflection, and this time repressed the urge to vomit.
There was an unusual pallor to her face, perhaps a reminder of last night as well. She had never been one to tan, but her current state made the light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheeks stand out even more. Her eyes were most certainly her mother's, blue-green and shifting between the two shades depending on lighting. They seemed to be an extremely dull blue today, no spark behind them at all. Even her hair, messy though it were, seemed to lack life. The sizable cowlick that she had fashioned into bangs after she'd been taunted by her younger sibling for most of her childhood about had calmed, making her entire persona seem… lacklustre. Other than the points where she was able to analyse and find bones that chose to jut out at awkward angles (such as her collarbone, her shoulders), she was a bit of toned muscle, and nothing more.
If you don't know what happened to your life, make plans to go out drinking later that night.
There was an incessant ringing, and though she couldn't quite decide if it was in her head or the phone, she chose to believe it was the latter, feet dragging as she made her way out of the bathroom. Every step felt like a whole kilometre, and by the time she reached her living area, Lighting could rest assured it was, indeed, the phone that had been ringing. Because now there was the one voice she didn't want to hear in the morning (or afternoon, she realised, noting that she had yet to check a clock) coming from her answering machine.
"Hey sis! Just thought I'd drop you a line before I went out on the bike for the day. Hell, I'll probably roll over at some point. I was thinking, maybe we could do something different tonight, since it seems like we're spending all our time together anyway! Gimme a buzz, you know the number."
Beep. Fucking beep. Snow was a moron, and always would be.
Without a second thought, she hit the erase button on her machine, closing her eyes to revel in her newfound silence. That was, until the phone rang again. Persistent little…
She wielded the plastic like it was a sword or gun, expertly flinging it upwards and cradling it against her cheek and ear with a snarl. "Snow, stop calling."
"Good to hear from you, Sergeant Farron. We were worried." She stiffened, not missing the bit of mirth in her employer's voice as he seemed amused by her break in character.
"Sir. No need to be worried."
"Good to hear it. I was just wondering if you'd thought at all about maybe taking a bit more time, an extension, if you will… seems a bit too early to have you back come this Wednesday, so soon after - "
"I'll be there. I don't need anymore extensions… sir."
When you have to pretty much beg for them to let you keep your job, and even the coldest man on the planet pities you, try not to break the phone.
Her fingers tightened around the plastic until her knuckles turned white, feeling the hard shell of the telephone begin to bow to her whims as the man on the other line heaved a short sigh, before declaring that it was ultimately her choice, and he wished her all the best. Call ended after silence beyond a short, "Yessir," on her part.
She put the phone down, took a moment to breathe in and close her eyes. Think. Breathe.
Rip the phone out of the fucking wall if you just can't take people anymore.
Unplug it and throw it so hard it breaks against the opposite wall if you never want to be contacted again.
And, truth be told, if you wanted an extension but couldn't bring yourself to hole up in your house any longer… well, then you go back to bed, and hope that when you wake up later on this evening, Snow won't be there, and you can drink yourself into oblivion. And maybe, just maybe, not be such a fucking coward… get the courage to end it all.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
YesAnimeCharactersCanBeSexy - Thanks! I'm hoping I don't disappoint, and hey, look. More delicious angst for you yet.
Linowscar - Aw, thanks so much! I'm feeling that, for now at least, I'm going to focus on the characters, and then ease us into the plot. Unless we want a more, bam, here it is aspect in this? Hm, well, it's something to ponder!
KuraiBites - Thank you! I'm glad you enjoy, and needless to say, actual romance is a way up the road yet. ;3 But when it comes… oh, you'll know.
SunflowerWielder - Thank you! I'm glad that nobody knows where we're headed yet. xD I'm going to be leaving clues throughout the chapters until we, you know… get there.
Tuume - Thanks bunches! I hope you enjoy your second serving of pain/angst today in here. The characterisation is something I'm really aiming for, especially in these early chapters. From what I've learnt in my years of writing, creating something interesting in the first three or four chapters, along with believable, relatable characters is the key to a success. :3
Sinister - Thanks! Your wish is my command. :D Since you were nice enough to review, along with the other five, a new chapter on the same day (well, a couple hours into the next, but within a twenty-four hour span)!
Thanks to all the reviewers. :3 You six are the only reason there's another chapter up so soon. As long as there's interest, I'm going to write. That in mind, my updates probably won't be this fast all the time, but who knows? I'll be writing this as much as I can, admits everything else in life. Hope you continue to enjoy!
