The Joker sighed heavily he was sat in his office drinking whiskey enjoying his own company. He was in a foul mood after he and Harley had a fight because he wouldn't take her out on a date because they were low on cash and because he was plotting another heist.
Suddenly the radio began playing another song but he didn't care he was too peeved to turn it off and sometimes listening to pop garbage helped him feel a little better when he poked fun at the lyrics.
"You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war"
"Aint that the truth" Joker muttered crossly. He and Harley fought so often now it was becoming a daily routine. Not that he didn't like her ability to fight back since he liked a challenge but she became too much of a pain in the ass.
"You and I go rough we keep throwing things and slamming the door"
The Joker frowned and rubbed his sore head. During their fight Harley had not only thrown a hairdryer at him but she had whacked him over the head with her hammer. She had then stormed off to the bedroom to sulk while he went to his office.
"You and I get so damn dysfunctional we start keeping score"
The Joker peered over to a tally board in the corner that he kept for when Harley and he fought so far on who was ahead in winning fights in was Harley 15 and Joker 23.
"You and I get sick, yeah, I know we can't do this no more"
The Joker poured himself another drink he was TIRED of fighting with Harley all it did was add more problems onto the pile he already had and it kept growing.
"Yeah, but baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you"
The Joker smiled Harley had some kind of trick that when she did something no matter how little it was be it her laugh, her smile or just some gesture he would always forgive her and they would make up.
"Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go"
Joker sighed he may have been insane but when it came to business he used his deviousness and intelligence to get what he wanted however when it came to Harley it was like a chaotic mess spiralling out of control. You couldn't fight it so he just went with it I mean what else could you do.
"Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo"
Joker chuckled when he wasn't plotting schemes or fighting batman he had Harley on his lap or cuddled up against him in bed and she would stick to him like glue. Her kiss marks and scratches were etched onto him and they took a while to heal.
"And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you"
The Joker frowned HE never crawled back to anyone it was more like the other way around. The only time he had gone crawling after Harley was when she went to Ivy's and he decided to take her back but that was a one off.
"So I'll cross my heart and I hope to die"
The Joker chuckled how clever to put a nursery rhyme into a song it made him feel a bit better.
"That I'll only stay with you one more night"
The Joker frowned that word was had no meaning in their relationship unless you take the exception with him kicking her out every so often.
"And I know I've said it a million times"
"A million? Try a thousand buddy" The Joker muttered pouring himself more whiskey.
"But I'll only stay with you one more night"
That same line that meant nothing to him but probably would when it came to the part about Harley leaving most of the time.
Try to tell you "no" but my body keeps on telling you "yes"
The Joker sighed heavily sex was a common issue with them not in quality but in quantity. He may not have Harley's body very often but when he did he made sure it was unforgettable. The only issue was Harley would pester him for more affection even though he would push her away but in the end he would give in because she would offer him something he couldn't refuse.
"Try to tell you "stop", but your lipstick got me so out of breath"
The Joker smiled he would tell Harley NO very clearly that even the Hyena's would understand but when she would start kissing him and stroking his hair he would suddenly become so aroused all he wanted was her.
"I'll be waking up in the morning, probably hating myself"
"You have NO idea buddy" Joker muttered crossly. He would wake up at who knows what time and find Harley sleeping peacefully next to him either wearing a red lingerie nightgown her bra and panties or more occasionally nothing at all. When he realized what had happened he would feel like a fool and dress himself then go sulk in his office.
"And I'll be waking up, feeling satisfied but guilty as hell"
The Joker became thoughtful after that line. He may feel peeved at himself for losing to Harley's sex appeal but she was very good at her sexual techniques. As the rest of the song continued The Joker began to realize that despite being an annoying bitch she was an incredibly cute girl who would do ANYTHING to please him. He turned off the radio and got up making his way upstairs where his little Harlequin would be hiding and hopefully had stopped sulking at this rate.
Upstairs
Harley was sat in the bath under the shower's hard spray "Jeez all I wanted was to have a romantic night with Mistah-J why did he have to be so MEAN" she sniffed sadly.
"Oh I don't know pooh maybe coz I like it" a devious voice said from the doorway.
"Puddin!" Harley cried shutting the curtain and hiding "H...How much did you hear?" she muttered worriedly.
The Joker rubbed his chin thoughtfully "Let's see how about ALL of it" he said looking peeved.
Harley pouted "Sorry Puddin I was just REALLY looking forward to it and you treat me so NICE when we go out" she said sadly.
The Joker smirked and locked the bathroom door and started to undress so Harley could hear his clothes ruffling "That's ok Pooh I raised you to be so selfish so I guess I am partly to blame" he said casually.
Harley smiled "Yeah but Puddin if you hadn't I would have never found out that being bad was so much fun" she said softly.
The Joker smiled she pay have been a pain in the ass but she was a real sweetie when it came to flattering him with words "Your such a dear Harls you always say the nicest things" he said and opened the shower curtain to which Harley covered her chest quickly.
He looked rather annoyed "Harley we've been together long enough that I'm used to seeing you nude" he said crossly.
"Sorry Puddin I just got embarrassed since usually we shower separately an all" she said apologetically.
The Joker climbed in and shut the curtain and ten sat behind her his manhood pressing against her beck "Well you aint wrong there perhaps we should try it more often" he said wrapping his arms around her waist.
Harley smiled and turned to face Joker and straddled him "I'd like that Mistah-J" she said stroking his cheek and running her hands through his hair.
"Well c'mere sweets and daddy will give you something else you like" The Joker said smirking. Harley smiled and leaned towards him pressing her breasts against his muscular torso fondly.
