Murdoc panted as he attempted to get away. The last thing he needed was his band mates to toy around with him, knowing he couldn't do the things he usually did. He could just go find a hiding place or get outta town. He just didn't seem to get any luck escaping from Russel who always followed close by to keep an eye on him. What was one to do to get away? Up ahead he caught sight of Noodle's room and he (knowing that it's nice) knocked on the door, waited for Noodle's 'come in' and quickly entered, shutting the door behind him.
"Oh, hi Murdoc-san." Noodle smiled as she stopped playing on her guitar. "What brings you here?"
"It's driving m' crazy!" Murdoc gripped his hair. "What was I thinkin' when I agreed to this? Right… I was drunk…."
"What are you talking about?" She blinked not knowing anything about the bet.
"Right, Russ didn't talk ta yer yet, did he?"
"About what?"
"Never mind…" Murdoc thought for a moment what to say to her. He mainly came in here to escape from Russel but he knew he would be coming in soon.
"Is there something you wanted to say?"
"Hurrngh…"
"Noodle? Can I come in?"
Murdoc groaned when he heard Russel's voice.
"Sure, come in."
When he entered he went up to Noodle and began to whisper in her ear. Murdoc's face burned as he knew what he was whispering about and it was obvious when Noodle started giggling.
"You're serious?"
"Yep!" Russel stood proudly as if he just found a cure for cancer.
Noodle looked back at Murdoc and stood. There was something in her eye that caused the Satanist to shudder.
She's not planning on… aw, she so friggen is!
"Mud-san? I was wondering if you could give me a ride to the mall?"
She said the dreaded 'M' word!
"Er… um…" He glanced nervously at Russel and then back at Noodle. "Why?"
"Because she's growing out of her old clothing." Russel explained for her. "And since you're the one with the jeeps it would be so nice if you gave her the lift."
Yer won't b' grinnin' fer long yer lousy…
"And turn that scowl upside down before I twist your neck around." Russel warned.
"Uh…" Murdoc seldom stuttered with words but knowing he can't say 'piss off' he had to search for words to use that won't have him lose his beloved Winnebago.
If I were to make meself silly I'd help the dullard count and label his pain killer jars…
…………….
Fergive me, Satan. It will not happen again… I'll make it up later jest don't send me to heaven! That dreaded place…
"How about this dress?" Noodle asked as she held up a white summer dress with flowers decorated on it.
"Super…" He muttered without even looking at it, annoyed he was interrupted in his silent prayer.
"You didn't even look." Noodle frowned as she placed both hands on her hips.
"I were ta drive yer to the mall! No one said anyfing about stayin'!"
"Be careful now," Noodle warned. "I don't want to tattle on you but if you leave me no choice then you just won't leave me no choice."
Murdoc cringed. As glad as he didn't have Russel on his back at the moment he heard him telling Noodle that if the Satanist misbehaves then she has to tell him about it. It was a little odd having a fourteen year old supervise him.
"Sorry." He said looking up, ashamed that he said that disgusting word for the third time today.
"Are you sure you can handle this?"
"I… doubtin' it." He admitted.
"Then why did you agree to go along with it?"
"Was a bit drunk."
"Ah." She nodded and returned towards the clothing aisle.
He sighed as he placed both hands over his greenish face. How much longer was this going to drag on? It was barely noon and he was already in the verge of giving up. But everytime he felt he was about to lose it he kept thinking of his Winnebago. Satan knows what Russel plans on doing with it. He didn't want to know nor did he want to take the chance of finding out. He just wished the day would just pass by quickly but instead it dragged slowly.
I… I can't win… Not with my knowledge how to use 'em.
True he never really knew how to be nice and even though it seemed so easy to watch others using manners to him it was just plain hard. He needed practice and advice. He'd do anything to keep his Winnebago even if it meant to learn how to be nice. But who can help him? Russel? Hell no! He's the one that got him into this mess and the last thing he wanted was to ask for advice. 2-D? Probably not. Though he was nice his brain wouldn't know how to focus and he would only end up pissing Murdoc off as usual.
He looked up. Noodle was the last option but probably the best. Despite their differences they got along fairly well and even trusted each other. He knew it was now or never. He stood from the chair next to the changing room (was tempted to peek but decided not to take any chances) and walked up towards Noodle who was still looking.
"Say, luv. I've a favor to ask."
"Hai?"
"Can yer… help me out with you-know-what."
"You want me to teach you?" She said grinning at him contently.
"Yea'… I dunno how long I can last on me own." Admitting defeat like that made him wish the floor would just swallow him up.
"I see," She nodded. "I'll help you."
"Thanks luv…" Murdoc breathed out loud, feeling as if he had held his breath for this whole time.
"Let's start with the simple basics first." She began as if she were a school teacher. "Say please."
"Say what?"
His entire body shuddered. Of all the words, please was the one he hated most. To him this word was another definition of begging and if there was anything that he hated most was to beg in any way. He didn't think he ever said that word in his entire life and feared if he did so now Satan would frown upon him.
"Come on, it's not hard." She tried to sound encouragingly, knowing how much Murdoc hated that word. "It only seems hard because you are making it that way. Just try saying it and pretend as if you don't know what the meaning is."
He struggled for a few seconds but finally he clenched his fists firmly and opened his mouth once he was done grinding his fangs.
"P… P-p-p… Ple… urgh!"
"You almost got it!" Noodle smirked with satisfaction. "Try again!"
He gave out a painful expression and tried it once more, saying it in a way as if someone was twisting his leg.
"PllluuuZZZzzeeeEE!"
With a big struggle and straining he managed to say it for the first time… kind of.
"You did it." Noodle applauded briefly. "See? That wasn't so bad now, was it?"
"No, come ter think about it, it wasn't." Murdoc agreed seeing that he was still standing alive.
"Then say it once more just for the record."
"Erm… p-please."
"That sounded much better!" Noodle prided herself for being such a great teacher. "Keep this up and I could work wonders with you!"
"Er, yeah… I jest want some tips, that's all."
"Uh-huh." She nodded and looked back. "Listen, we'll continue this again soon after I found enough outfits that will last me for awhile, okay?"
"Fine," He reached for his wallet in his back pocket. "You need any money fer buying them?"
"No thanks." Noodle giggled. "I've got enough on my own but it was a nice offer."
"Y-yea'," He looked around and back to Noodle. "May I please go buy some porn magazines while I wait?"
"Nope, sorry." Noodle answered, trying hard to suppress her laughter. The way he asked was as if he was asking if he could go to the bathroom or something normal.
Damn it…
……………….
"Them shoes fit nicely on yer matching outfit." Murdoc muttered as he carried some of Noodle's bags, remembering Russel telling him to give out compliments now and then.
"Thanks, Murdoc-san."
Noodle was having a lot of fun with this new Murdoc even though she knew the bassist was suffering over it. She had to admit how well Murdoc was doing so far… well, it was pretty good considering for Murdoc. She always thought he couldn't even attempt being nice but he's doing rather well at the moment. Not too great yet but she'll try to work on it. Giving him lessons was another thing that was entertaining her.
"What comes next…? I figured if you've mastered to say please then you can master anything." She wondered out loud. She glanced to the side to see a fast-food joint and smiled. "Want to buy lunch?"
"Brunch would be more like it." Murdoc shrugged, not caring. He was in no rush to drive back to the Kong Studios.
"Are you paying?"
"I guess so."
They went up to the counter to place their orders shortly after they looked at the menu on the roof.
"Hrm…" Murdoc rubbed his chin deciding. "I guess I'll jest have combo six and one of them coffees."
"Yes sir." The young man behind the counter replied as he started to work on his cash register. "And what would your daughter have?"
Noodle's face turned slightly red, realizing that this man was obviously not a Gorillaz fan if he didn't know who he was talking to. Murdoc's face was a lot redder than hers and it came more from rage than embarrassment. At this moment he forgot everything as he was filled with hate.
"What you say?" Murdoc slammed both fists onto the counter causing the man to flinch and back away. "Yer son of a-"
"Murdoc-san?"
"Ow!"
He glanced down towards Noodle after she pinched him and saw her wagging her finger back and forth.
"Temper, temper." She reminded.
Murdoc gasped as he remembered again and gripped onto his hair.
"What have I done? Russ' goin' ta kill me!"
"It's okay," Noodle tried to calm down the panicked older man. "I'm letting this go because you're still learning but, I'm sorry, if it happens again I won't."
"Thanks luv…" Murdoc sighed with relief. "It won't happen again."
Didn' I say tha' before?
"M-may I take your order?" The man behind the counter stuttered.
"Do I look old ter yer, mate?" Murdoc couldn't help but ask, still annoyed.
"Yes… I mean no, sir. I mean…"
"She's m' little sister, all right?" He announced with defeat as he placed a hand on Noodle's shoulder. He didn't feel like giving that loser a full summary about being a band and such so he made up the white lie to make himself clear that he was not old.
Meh, forty not old at all… Not gettin' old… I need to kill someone.
"Right, right! Of course, I can see the resemblances! May I take your order, young lady?"
Noodle and Murdoc both grinned at each other and winked. Playing pretend was a fun activity.
"Go on, sis. Tell him what yer want." He said rustling her hair.
"I'll have combo four and a soda." She announced.
It didn't take long for them to get what they wanted and Murdoc paid for the meal. They carried their treys to a nearby table though Murdoc couldn't figure out why Noodle asked for plastic utensils.
"What do yer need them fer?" He asked as she laid them out in front of him.
"Part of your next tip of kindness. In case you join us for dinner tonight you might want to learn table manners and no one wants to see a slop eat, right?"
"Why would I even consider this?" Murdoc blinked when he noticed he had his elbow on the table and quickly got it off.
"It's for the best." She said simply, secretly loving this. "I may know more about chopsticks but this isn't too hard to learn how to use these. You do know what to do with them, right?"
Murdoc just stared at the plastic fork, knife, and spoon that Noodle laid out in the traditional manner. He looked as if he had never seen these items before or that he knew how to use them.
"Just pick up the fork."
He kept staring as if he had no clue which was which. He hesitantly brought a hand forward but it trembled until it finally decided to choose the one with the pointy edges.
"Yes, that's the fork." She complimented. "Now what do you do with a fork?"
He brought the plastic fork up towards his face and studied carefully. About a minute passed and Noodle's eyes widened with surprise when Murdoc stabbed himself on the forehead with fork so forceful that it broke in half and he himself nearly fell out of his seat.
"What are you doing?"
"Oww…" He rubbed his forehead, feeling almost as dumb as 2-D. "I have no idea what came over me… Might have somethin' ta do with the fact that the last time I had a fork in me hand I stabbed someone."
"Yourself?" She asked raising an eyebrow.
"'Course not. Jest everytime I see this thin' I always get the urge to stab… someone?"
The way he ended his sentence with a question made Noodle groan slightly.
"Apparently this is going to be lot harder than I thought. Let's try this again."
She handed him another plastic fork and Murdoc cautiously took it as if it were a weapon.
"This is not meant for stabbing people." She explained not even wanting to know Murdoc's history with forks. "It's used for eating properly. You can do that, right?"
"Oh… oh yeah!" Murdoc's face brightened. "Me thinks I've done that when I were eleven! At least that's the last time I remember. Wait… maybe when I was in jail?"
"Cool. Do you remember what the knife is for?"
He picked up the knife and studied the same way he did with the fork.
"It's not necessarily used to stab people." She reminded him.
"Hnngh…"
His face began to sweat slightly as he tried to remember how this was supposed to go. For practiced he placed the fork into one of his french-fries and used the knife to slowly cut it in half. He gasped slightly when he found out he just cut the french-fry cleanly in half.
"That wasn't so hard." He remarked to himself.
"You're getting this quickly!" Noodle cheered, trying hard not to laugh. "See? It's not so bad as you think it all is. You just need practice."
"I did mention I jest wanted tips an' not lessons, right?" Murdoc reminded slightly annoyed.
"Fine but you may want to sit up straight."
Murdoc's eyes became wide when noted he was slouching and quickly sat up straight.
"Ouch, this is hurtin' me back!"
"Try to get used to it."
This is so much fun. I wish the bet was to last for a week instead of a day. Noodle thought.
"All right, so I needs a bit o' practice." Murdoc continued. "But I don' feel like doing it much."
"So why do you seem to insisted it?"
"Me Winne'… can't afford to lose it."
Noodle didn't say anything. She was thinking and Murdoc could see that. What it was he didn't know nor did he really care.
"We done?"
"Of course not. But why don't we give you a break and wait until we return home?"
"Fine by me."
Neither spoke much afterwards because their minds were occupied with something else. Noodle continued to look thoughtful over something while Murdoc couldn't shake this disturbing feeling in his stomach. He was starting to feel ill but figured it may have been the junk food he was eating. Then again maybe not. Something was making him feel sick. Perhaps it was best not to think about it.
……………….
"Let me get this for you."
Murdoc took the bags from Noodle's hand when they got off the jeep. I was relieved that this sick feeling in his stomach had subsided but wouldn't be surprised if it were to return any moment.
"You really love your Winnebago a lot, don't you?" She mused.
"A man must always have and keep 'is own territory!" He announced.
"Whatever," She said shrugging. "Thanks about back there."
"Back where?"
"You know, back at fast-food counter when you said I was your sister." She grinned again. "I always saw you as an older brother and whether you meant it as an excuse to get over the situation or not, it meant a lot to me."
"Oh…?"
Murdoc blinked, feeling slightly confused but then smiled. Perhaps this whole 'kindness' thing isn't so bad after all.
"Yer know somethin'?" Murdoc began as he headed towards the Kong Studio with Noodle. "Perhaps it ain't so hard as Is' think it is as long as I remember to control me temp-"
"PIGGYBACK RIDE!" 2-D announced excitedly as he launched himself onto Murdoc's back.
"WHA-?"
Murdoc didn't even try to take action as 2-D's, who came out of nowhere, was unexpected and he ended up falling flat on his face.
"Aw Muds…" 2-D whined disappointingly. "I'm not even tha' heavy. Perhaps yer gettin' old…?"
2-D didn't bother much getting off Murdoc even though he noticed the Satanist body was trembling with rage, his fists clenched into a tight ball.
Must… resist… beatin'… the… crap… outta… him…
"Temper, temper." Noodle reminded wagging her finger.
TBC…
