Fudanshi = a boy who likes yaoi.
Fujoshi = a girl who likes yaoi.
Disclaimer: it is vox populi that I don't own Naruto.

Fudanshi
Chapter Two, otherwise named as 'The admirer'

Naruto was at the book store, flipping through the pages of the recently released new volume of Hikaru to kimi, when he felt an impossibly dark presence right behind him. He turned around but found no one. "Huh…mysterious…" he said to himself.

"Okay! Back to the manga!" and so he kept on reading when… the presence came back, full force. He turned around, and as expected…no one was there. This was becoming kind of annoying, really.

So he decided to ignore the obviously very devious person quietly observing him from the shadows and continued reading his…

"Are you going to buy that?" and people would not stop sneaking up on him!

"Will you stop doing that?" Naruto angrily turned around; ready to bust the bastard right up, but when he finally did turn around he found that this person…was none other than Gaara. The protagonist of this story gulped in sheer and unaltered fear.

Unbeknownst to Naruto, the redhead standing right in front of him, or previously behind him (whatever), was wearing the shop's dependent uniform. Not that Naruto was paying much attention to Gaara's attire when he clearly was in a death-life situation right there.

"I believe I said are you going to buy that?" the raccoon-like teenager asked again, his green eyes turning into two dangerous slits. Oh, he did not like to repeat himself.

Naruto blinked twice, looked at the manga he was still grabbing so firmly one would think his whole life depended on it, then back at Gaara, then back at the manga, then… he promptly dropped the manga and shook his head.

"No way!" he shouted, rubbing the back of his neck furiously. "I wasn't! I'm not into those…those…deliciously amazing mangas for girls! No, sir, no I am not!" you are the greatest Naruto, that will do.

No, apparently, that wouldn't do. Gaara was still looking pretty unconvinced. Naruto had to think of something and quick.

"I…I just… It's not what you're thinking!" so brilliant! He congratulated himself on the most absurd, cliché excuse ever. Again, way to go, Naruto, way-to-fucking-go.

Right after he let those words out of his mouth, something quite unbelievable and improbable happened; something that any fan of the twilight zone, or One Step Beyond, would have pointed out as plain weird. Gaara smirked. In the most creepy and scary way possible, but that still didn't change the fact that Gaara was, indeed, sort of smiling.

"Naruto…" the mentioned one, in need of confirmation that this person in front of him was the real Gaara and not a smiley impostor, pinched Gaara's cheeks, earning himself a well-deserved punch in the head.

Okay, this was definitely the real Gaara.

"I put the first volume of Hikaru to kimi in your bag that day," and Naruto felt tempted to double-check the 'realness' of this Gaara when hearing these particular words coming out of his classmate's mouth.

"Come again?"

But the raccoon-like boy wasn't about to repeat himself for the third time that afternoon. Instead, he put the most recent volume of Hikaru to kimi back on Naruto's hands and simply stated "I'll give you a discount."

Naruto closed his mouth shut, deciding a discount sounded like some fair compensation for Gaara's weirdness and followed his new friend to the counter without further ado.


"See you at the yaoi con!" such were the last words the authoress of Hikaru to Kimi decided to write right at the end of volume 12. To say Naruto was utterly happy about it would be the understatement of the year.

But…there was a teensy, tiny bit of a problem. Yaoi cons were filled with the most crazy and dedicated fan-base ever: The fujoshi. Those girls would put any other fangirl to shame. Of course, you'd find your typical fudanshi in the yaoi ranks here and there but… they were outnumbered.

Moreover, what if any of those fujoshi actually knew him from school? Oh, the horror!

So, Naruto had to be extremely clever. He had to enter the dark arts of cross-dressing to avoid any kind of harassment. He wasn't too happy about it, but… there was no way on Earth he'd miss the yaoi event of the year!

When he arrived at the yaoi con, he wasn't Naruto. No, sir, he was not! He was a really cute (yes, I said cute, deal with it) girl, with long brownish hair. Why brown you ask? Well, the reason is pretty simple… he couldn't get a hold of any blond wig.

"All the colors!" Naruto gasped. He was so marveled by everything that surrounded him!

The secretly blond male followed the sound of fangirls squealing and reached a stand which was, apparently, very popular.

It was incredibly crowded and packed, so Naruto just shrugged and kept on looking around, trying to find any more Hikaru to Kimi doujinshis to add to his collection.

And the rest of the day went uneventful. Oh, If only he could say so!

"Sorry…" he said when he bumped into someone. Actually, no. What he really said was, "Watch it, asshole!" but that could hardly be called feminine now, could it?

In front of him, a pissed off Sasuke Uchiha got up; ready to glare at whoever dared push him when he was in the middle of running away from such a scaring place. Who…oh, dear, a girl?

"Oh, it's you, teme," and that's when Naruto's well-thought and thoroughly calculated plan of action went tumbling down the hill. Realizing he messed up, big time, he covered his mouth with his hands.

Sasuke only arched one eyebrow. There was only one person in the whole world who would call him teme. And he was pretty sure, last time he checked said person was most definitely not a female.


"Sasuke!" shouted fangirl number eleven. Fangirl eleven was particularly persistent. Why couldn't they take a hint and back off? Instead, Sasuke found himself fighting fangirls back and forth in order to get to work.

Yes, one would think an individual as wealthy as Sasuke Uchiha wouldn't risk his beauty by working, but he did. He helped run the family business by being present at the events no one from his family wanted to attend to, even if they were sponsors of said events.

Last time, it was a beauty contest. It was Itachi's turn to replace Sasuke in attending to such an event but when Itachi failed to show up (like always, Sasuke mentally added) little ol' Sasuke had to go.

"Oh, c'mon, we'll only take a little detour to grab some coffee and be back in an hour!" fangirl two said, but then, fangirl eight and nine glared at her, preparing themselves for the battle. Who did fangirl two think she was, anyway?

When the commotion caused by the fangirls ceased (thankfully, no one was badly injured), Sasuke was long gone.

This time, Sasuke, found himself in the weirdest place he'd been. Apparently the yaoi manga business was proving profitable, since his family asked him to attend to the yaoi con that year but… Oh, why were there posters everywhere of boys snuggling and kissing and being all lovey-dovey with each other?

More importantly, why had no one warned him in the first place?

He was in the middle of pondering his misfortune when someone, a careless nobody, decided it was time to bump into him. He fell to the ground. Great, now his perfectly fine suit was covered in dirt!

"Watch it, asshole!"

Oh, but when he was about to reply in a very colorful way, he locked eyes with her. She was beautiful! She had long brown hair, blue eyes and was dressed in a blue dress that kind of looked like gotten from an Alice in wonderland production. She was bizarre, yes, but gorgeous.

But this girl… this girl had called him teme. No one called him teme! Then, it hit him… Naruto!


"So I suppose you're related to Naruto Uzumaki?" and at this point, Naruto was convinced that there was a kami-sama in this world, after all.

"Yeah…" he lied, suppressing the urges to scratch the back of his neck. That would have given him away for sure.

What to do…what to do!

Sasuke smirked visibly. "But I must say, you are nothing like that dobe," oh, dear, Naruto could practically feel Sasuke's intentions. He was trying harder than usual to come off as a super sex god. Not good!

"No," Sasuke continued while cornering the pretty Uzumaki girl, "you are much prettier than he is."

How could I be prettier than myself? That doesn't make sense!

"And you don't look like much of a dobe from where I'm standing…" Sasuke whispered, but this time, despite the proximity to Naruto's body, he did not sense the anger to his persona.

Oh, no, he didn't! He's trying to pick me up by calling me a dobe? He's got some nerve!

That was it! Naruto's pride was hurt, and when Naruto got hurt, he got loud (or louder). "What did you just call m…him! He's my cousin I mind you!" and that's how Naruto suddenly became his own female cousin.

Sasuke just gave him a lopsided grin.

"Why are you here, anyway?"

"My family sent me." was the only reply he got. Naruto just shrugged. He could care less about Sasuke-teme. That was as good a time as any to start praying to kami-sama to rescue him from Sasuke's awkward attempts at conversation.

But, it seemed that Kami-sama had more important matters at hands.

"What's your name?" Sasuke tried one more time.

Think fast, Naruto, you can do it! Yes, you can!

"Nar…I mean, Megumi, yeah, Megumi Uzumaki." Naruto answered as fast as he could. Obviously, the first option he could think of was something like "Naru-chan". He almost blurted out just that. Thank goodness he didn't!

"Well, Megumi, care to join me for a cup of coffee? It would only take you one hour tops."

Watching Naruto's face turn from red to white and his body go limp as a result of the shock only made Sasuke's already boosted ego boost some more.

This reminds me of that time Hikaru punched Jin just because he was hitting on him…back when he still hated his guts. Maybe I should just kick him unconscious? Sounds like a plan!

Naruto shook his head, "No, can do! Gotta run, I guess I'll see you around, Sasuke-teme!" and he ran off, right toward the stand where he knew, he just knew the authoress of Hikaru to kimi had to be.

Sasuke, on the other hand, frowned.


Gaara passed Naruto his bento. The initial plan was for the two teenagers to exchange bentos, but as it turns out, Tsunade was way too lazy to cook Naruto's lunch, so instead, it was more like Naruto eating from Gaara's bento as the red-head watched him chow down on his food.

"Yummy! So good!" the oddly silent teenager just nodded, inwardly pleased. He had a thing for cooking, after all. "Hey... sorry the old hag can't cook shit."

"Don't worry about it."

"Do you think Hikaru will choose Jin in the end?" Naruto had a special gleam in his eyes when asking that. Gaara just shrugged. Any passer-by wouldn't have noticed that he was, indeed, considering very seriously the blonde's question.

"It is possible but…" Gaara never finished his sentence. Naruto understood perfectly well, though.

"Yeah, I think Akira is more reliable than Jin, anyway." Naruto smiled, and then he stood up and began stretching. "Hey, you should have come to the convention, it was cool! Look…" and Naruto searched in his bag for the latest issue of Hikaru to kimi, which was autographed.

"Found it!" he handed it to a surprised (but not showing it) Gaara. "I'll lend it to you," he stated while grinning happily, "But I want it back next week!"

The other teen nodded almost undetectably. "If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you." And that was Gaara, being his usual angry and introverted self. Naruto smiled cheekily.

"Yeah, yeah, like I would tell," Naruto stuck up his tongue and then ran for his life.


Faulty grammar and all, I hope you still liked it. Also, review and make my day. C'mon, you know you wanna.