Disclaimer: Aren't you glad I don't own Chuck? I don't not even a little and if they asked right now if I wanted to take it. I'm not sure I would. Sucks no?

A/N: I hemmed and hawed about whether or not to post this. It isn't as funny as the first chapter, but that's partly because the first chapter is so absurd. You can only push absurdity so far. Boy aren't Shwartz and Fedak pushing that line? So here you go, like it or not, here's just a little more Sham to hold you over to tonight's episode.

Chapter2: Reconciliation

Sarah swallowed her pride and pushed the door bell. Once again a dog barked and a few moments later the door opened. "Sam…"

"Hi," Sarah said. "I'm back."

"Okay," Dan replied. He stepped forward and gave Sarah a stiff hug. "I thought you wanted to be in Los Angeles?"

"I did," Sarah fidgeted. "I guess that offer of you in a tight shirt was just too much to pass up."

Dan looked at her suspiciously. "Sam, what's really going on? You didn't come all the way back here just to see me in a tight shirt. Did you?"

Sarah glanced around the room taking in the beige carpet and taupe décor. "I…I just can't be there right now."

"Okay, why don't you tell me what really happened?" Dan asked.

"Well…" Sarah hesitated. She might as well be honest. It's not like she could hurt Dan's feelings. "So I went back to L.A. and at first it was great. Chuck and I had a few awkward moments and we started a few serious conversations that got interrupted at just the wrong moment. I was really happy. Then Beckman ordered that Chuck get his final test even though he clearly wasn't ready. It was a disaster!"

"Did he fail?"

"No!" Sarah exclaimed. "The idiot passed!"

"Er… well if he'd failed were you going to quit the CIA and stay with him?" Dan asked.

"Of course not!"

"Then I don't get what you're upset about…"

"He killed someone!" Sarah exclaimed. "They gave him his red test and my sweet little innocent nerd actually went and killed someone!"

Dan's face scrunched awkwardly as he tried to make an expression that Sarah interpreted as confused. "Well yeah, that's the test…"

"How dare he!" Sarah shouted. "How dare he sacrifice his innocence the exact same way I sacrificed my innocence. How dare he ruin my perfect idealic view of him! How could he just take everything we've been awkwardly avoiding for two years and just throw it all away like that?"

"Er…" Dan said. "I think I'm confused."

"Well are you confused or aren't you?" Sarah demanded.

"I'm not sure…"

"Whatever," Sarah huffed. "I just can't believe that he'd think so little of me that when I ordered him to kill someone that he'd actually go and do it. What the hell!"

"Okay, so you're back then." Shaw hugged her again. "It's a real relief. It was different without you here, less crowded, but somehow empty."

"Do mean that you missed me?" Sarah asked in surprise.

"No." Dan shrugged. "Just kind of wondered where you were. So are you staying for good this time?" Dan asked as he grabbed her bag and hauled it into the house.

"I don't think so," Sarah replied.

Dan dropped her bag. "No? Still?"

"I'll probably just stay here a couple more weeks. I can't imagine that people won't be so tired of you by then, that they'll make up some excuse to get rid of you."

"What?" Shaw exclaimed

"Well everyone hates you. At work I mean. Everyone just despises you. I think they'll knock you off soon and I'll have to find a new romantic interest…"

Dan fell back into a chair. "They're going to get rid of me?"

Sarah nodded. "It seems pretty obvious when you think about it. You just seem to be going nowhere. They'll probably send you on some ridiculous suicide mission and make you the noble martyr."

"That sucks!" Dan exclaimed. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"

"Well you know, Chuck and I will probably meet up at your funeral. I'll be crying and he'll feel bad. We might even get to hookup before I start acting all cold and distant towards him again."

"You are one seriously crazy woman," Dan shook his head. "Why would you come back if you're certain all this is inevitable?"

"Well you do have a penis. You do still right? I mean I know you don't have any testicles, but you still have the penis?"

Dan nodded. "I'm still mostly fully functional."

"Well there you go. You're a man and we've worked together and I have to be romantically interested in someone. Casey's gone now, so you're all I've got…well you know until Chuck and I spend a few more days or weeks being awkward together. And what do you care? You'll be dead."

"Damn," Dan shook his head. "I keep forgetting about that. Well we should make the most of the time we have left. Do you want to have sex?"

"No." Sarah shook her head. "I'm too upset about Chuck. Let's just go upstairs and give everyone the impression we're having sex."

Dan nodded. "That sounds good to me."