A/N: Takes place during 3x18. I'm still a bit appalled that the writers brought Trey back into the story (mind it was only one episode and he wasn't even there) and Marissa was mentioned once in relation to how Trey wrecked Ryan's new life or something like that. These drabbles won't be related to each other, they're just my ramblings and self-proclaimed wish fulfillment with what we were given.


Marissa doesn't see him until she's walking up the ramp of her favorite lifeguard stand, and when she does, her mouth goes dry.

He's sitting with his back to the stand, and the way his eyes survey her makes her feel exposed in a way she hasn't in weeks. She hasn't seen him in days, has been skipping multiple classes just to avoid him and everyone else. Of course he'd come here, her one place of freedom.

Her feet back pedal and her eyes are downcast.

"You don't have to go," Ryan says, and her eyes look at him in wonder.

How he can act like they're not in this limbo is beyond her. Every time she sees him her heart constricts and she feels queasy. Of course, he hadn't acted like breaking up was as big a deal as she did.

"It's fine," she says, trying to appear flippant.

When she turns around to leave, she spots a toy car between his fingers and the uncharacteristic object is odd and piques her curiosity.

She could walk away. It'd be easy to ignore the look in his eye and the toy in his hands. She notices then the lost look on his face and thoughtful way he's sitting on her lifeguard stand, a place he knows without a doubt she comes often.

He notices her glance and moves the toy car so that it sits by his side. "It's from Trey."

Marissa frowns and her eyes widen. "You talked- you're talking to him?"

It's the highest her voice has reached in days and the way she's eyeing him makes him remember everything about her and him and them. He knows that, deep down, he came to the lifeguard stand hoping she'd be there too.

"Of course not," he tells her, and watches her shoulders fall in relief.

She takes a few steps up the ramp and bites her lip. Being around Ryan nowadays is too intense, too much of everything all at once.

"Jess is back in town; she gave it to me."

Marissa nods and is careful not to get too close to him. "What does he want?"

Ryan is staring at the ocean, and that gives her time to look at his face. The darkness of his eyes and the way his jaw is clenched. Being near him again is strange but completely familiar.

"I don't know."

She doesn't know what to say. She's tried time and time again to get him to talk about Trey and each time he resorted to his punching bag or an argument about Johnny.

It seems perfectly clear what Trey wants. He wants Ryan back in his life. She can't really blame Trey for that; she'll just blame him for everything else. "Please, Ryan. It's obvious."

He looks up at her, face blank. "What is?"

"He wants you to forgive him."

Marissa thinks her heart will break in even more tiny pieces if Ryan indicates it's something he'll do. The tension between them over Trey never came to much, but this- this would break her. After she shot the only blood relative Ryan had left in his life, of course.

He looks at her and a ghost of a smile appears on his face before it fades away. She has to know by now that he'd never let Trey back into his life after what happened. She does, right? Of course, he recalls, he never really indicated that to her.

Ryan moves over on the lifeguard stand, implying that she should sit. He watches her bite her lip in contemplation before sitting at least a yard away, legs crossed and hands folded in her lap.

"I couldn't- I could never," he tells her quietly, and she breathes a tiny sigh of relief, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Ryan. "Just another piece of the past, you know?"

Her thoughts go back to the shooting, to the terror of that night and the idea settling in that she may have taken a life. But she saved Ryan's life and he knows that, a situation he still blames himself for sometimes. In that moment, he gets it. That her love for him in that moment saved him, and he's done everything short of being able to repay her.

The toy car sits between them as a small barrier, but Marissa knows there's been one between them for weeks. She braves a look at him, and he's staring at his shoes. After everything they've been through, she still sees the boy who offered her a cheesy pick up line before a cigarette and meaningful glances.

He misses her, he can admit that to himself now. She has a calming presence that everyone else seems to lack, or at least a presence that makes itself known when he lets himself think about her. Her soft smile, her deep gaze.

The sun sets over the horizon and it fills the sky with orange hues. It's something they used to watch together sometimes, comforted by only each other and the looming nightfall.

She doesn't leave, and for that he's grateful.