Maelstrom Chapter 19 Impaled: Part B

Author's note: This story is part of a LONG series called Maelstrom. It is strictly Gen. 1 - sorry, but that was all that was out when I started writing. If you have not read the nine original Maelstrom Comics and the preceding text stories, I strongly suggest you do. This scene contains strong language and graphic violence.

"Rodi ...?...Rodimus? Rodimus, you've got to recharge. Rodimus..please...!"

Rodimus stood above the surgical ward in Iacon's Organics' Hospital. He leaned on the corner, letting the window frame hold weight. There was a pile of spent energon cubes at his feet, and another forgotten in his hand. The room was meant to be a training observatory, but he had made straight for it the minute they brought Lancer in.

The surgeon's were Cybertron's finest. EDC had trained them to deal with the inevitable trauma of humans who got in the way of Cybertron's titanic civil war. Even so, Lancer's injuries presented a multiple challenge. The wound, serious enough in itself, was compounded by the harsh tranquilizers bounty hunters had used and the additional damage Lancer had inflicted when she cauterized the wound. Shock, severe blood loss, and Lancer's own unpredictable metabolism were also working against them. She kept burning off the sedatives they administered and thrashing.

Each time that happened, Rodimus would force his will upon her limbs until she was re-sedated. Each time, he felt her deep pain and exhaustion as his own. Each time, he tried to get it through to her she was safe – that the Jabez were not the people surrounding her. It kept backfiring. Her pain, the lights, the scents of chemicals and the sounds of medical tools sent him into flashbacks more often than not – causing her to fight the anesthesia and struggle.

Then Rodimus would start over.

It was draining his energon almost as fast as he could replace it,

He also knew, as the doctors never could, that she had been weakened in advance by months of constant, futile struggle to sever his mind from hers. He could not longer ignore how depleted she was - or how little he had to offer in aid. Pain lanced through him. The shield between them was in tatters. It didn't matter. He was going to hold on or die trying.

Someone tugged his arm. It was a dim realization that reached his awareness across the gulf of dizziness and pain. How vague and unimportant it seemed, at least until the tugging actually became forceful enough to pull him away from the window.

That was not going to happen. His arm lashed sideways and the tugging stopped. Someone cried out in surprise and pain.

"Don't touch him Optimus," a voice said. Magnus. He sounded grim and worried. "Not all of his flashbacks are still."

"Flashbacks?" Springer asked.

"Drop it Springer," Magnus growled.

"Rodimus shouldn't be watching this Magnus! Rodi, please come with me," the voice persisted. Optimus. Who else would insist on anything so contrary to Rodi's own nature?

"No." Was his own voice usually that harsh? Maybe Lancer was right and he was picking up some of her demon after all.

"Rodimus you're gray! You need to recharge! A cube isn't going to do it this time!" Optimus insisted, pulling forcefully on his partner's arm again. Rodimus' mind was suddenly quite in the present.

The young Prime grabbed the senior by the throat and spun him into the wall, pinning him at the neck with his forearm and holding him there.

"You see that bloody mess down there? That's your fault! She's dying Optimus! We led those assholes right to her! She went half a parsec off any trade routes or inhabited worlds and they still found her! Are you stupid enough to think she's safe because she's in Central? This place isn't even shielded!" He released his stunned partner with a contemptuous shove.

"You won't be able to protect her if you pass out," Elita pointed out.

"Then have First Aid bring in a line," Rodimus hissed. " If you think I'm leaving her unguarded you're crazy."

Optimus and Elita threw each other a long glance. They were in Cybertron's premier organic hospital. It was situated in an under-surface level of Central, which had more fire-power than Metroplex, and was the present location for most of the Autobots' command staff. To Rodimus, this counted as unguarded.

They weren't alone in the observation room though. Jordan and Talon of the Maelstrom were there as well. They too exchanged a long glance.

Jordan jumped, beating his long wings only once to land, audaciously, right on Rodi's shoulder. He whispered into the young Prime's audio sensor. "You need not fear quite so much. We have scanned all the hearts and minds of those tending her, and Robert is cloaking these rooms from the ship. It is not perfect safety, but none will detect her metabolism, even if her powers manifest."

Rodimus' optics flared in surprise. "I didn't know the ship could do that."

"That's because Robert only just discovered it could. We've had no need to try until now. We would prefer our lost one would be on board, but I can not heal these wounds," Jordan told him. "Now obey your partner. No one should watch their loved one being sliced apart – even if it is by healers."

"You're here," Rodimus pointed out.

"I'm learning," Jordan replied. Jordan served as the Maelstrom's medic, but everything he knew came from reading and observation on the fly.

"Ah. What's Talon's excuse then?" Rodimus asked.

"If you think we're leavin' 'er unguarded you're crazy," Talon snorted, waving a large alien pistol and briefly flashing some of his custom explosives. No one on the Autobot end of things really wanted to know how he'd gotten that into their supposedly secure facility.

Rodimus laughed bitterly for a moment, and then stopped when the surgeon momentarily lost control of an artery in Lancer's shoulder. The blood fountained for a few brief seconds and Rodi's optics locked on to the spray. It was gone almost instantly as the medical team locked it down but it was clear to those watching Rodimus was about to go right through the glass.

"Rodimus, you HAVE to listen to me! You can't help her here!" Optimus demanded desperately. He would have loved to just strong-armed his partner right out of the room, but he was afraid it would set off a real fight.

Talon got up and stood at Rodimus' feet at something like attention. "Sir, just go. We've got this."

Sir? Rodimus thought vaguely. He shook his head.

Talon stood a bit straighter and reported, "If anyone makes a move, Pagan is on stand-by to teleport Lancer right back to Maelstrom's med-bay. We'll find another world to evac 'er to. Malice will be back as soon as 'er face gets stitched up. Between 'er and the ship, we've got this...and Sir, if we don't you are in no shape to make a whit of difference. Now quit watchin' before you do somethin' stupid."

Optimus watched Rodimus' optics pulse as he considered. The senior Prime didn't know whether to be relieved or offended when his partner took the time to think about what Talon said.

"Fine... I'll quit watching," he said, turning the closest chair to the window to face the other way. He slumped into it and sat with his arms crossed.

Elita snorted, and smiled a bit sadly.

"Not what I had in mind," Optimus sighed.

"Pick your battles," Magnus advised. He contacted First Aid. "You need to get up here with an energon feed. ...Yes I know they're only for emergencies! What do you think this is? Get a line up here NOW!" He paused, sized up both of his commanding officers, and got back on the com. "And bring more cubes while your at it...I have a feeling this is going to be a long night."

Optimus must have been having similar thoughts. "How are you?" he asked. Rodimus somehow sensed that the "you" was plural.

"Tired. Only Edana is holding Lancer here. She thinks she's in Jabez hands, and she's going to fight until she saves the baby. I'm helping her hold on."

Optimus studied him gravely. "Is there anything we can do to help you?"

"I...I don't think so. I just have to ride it out." Rodimus sighed. His optics shut down. Optimus had a sudden flashback of his own to a few years prior - Rodimus with his innards torn open, his life force a fragile, unwilling bubble in the Matrix, and his optics flat, gray, and dead. Optimus shuddered. Letting Rodimus just sit there wasn't smart, but Optimus suddenly had an idea that would distract Rodimus AND get him out of this room. He knelt before his friend. "Rodi, listen. Carly's setting up a nursery down the hall. Edana's there Rodimus. You should go see her - she's your daughter."

Rodimus looked up at his partner when Optimus mentioned the baby, but Optimus wasn't sure at first whether or not his ploy worked because Rodi didn't speak.

"Rodi?"

"I'm sorry, Optimus. It's just...my daughter...I know she's real but...I just can't believe...maybe it's just that nothing seems too real right now."

"I know," Optimus intoned softly, "but she's there, and she's yours, and you should visit her. Elita's seen her, so have I. Even Springer and Arcee have seen her. It's your turn. If nothing else it might remind Lancer what there is to live for."

"Did you tell the whole planet she's here?" Rodimus complained.

Magnus grumbled under his breath, "Practically..."

"You can trust every single one of us Rodimus," Springer said, distressed. He thought Rodi's paranoia was because he was so sick.

"Rodimus...just shut up and walk," Optimus sighed. "Magnus will stay here and he'll tell us if something...happens."

Magnus nodded, but looked torn. "Optimus...watch him," he warned.

"Of course," Optimus said.

"No...I mean..." the City Commander paused. There were too many people in this room he didn't know or trust. "Watch out for him..." He didn't like how erratically Rodimus was behaving, and he didn't like how Optimus seemed so heedless about it.

Elita gave him a brief hug, but it wasn't mere support or affection. "We'll be careful Magnus," she whispered.

Rodimus swayed - and dimly felt the strong hands on his arms grip tighter to steady him as they steered him out of the room.

"Are you OK, Rodi?" Springer had a rare, worried frown on his face.

You know you're in trouble when Springer can't find a way to be sarcastic. Rodi thought. "I'm perfect! And if I pass out you can use me as a doorstop, or a paper weight for Metroplex! You could put me at the end of a road or someplace to keep people from driving off the edge. That would probably be best...I'm so much harder to miss than those lame 'dead end' signs."

Springer snorted.

That's right Springo...forget I said anything. I'm mostly delirious right? No real reason for me to wish you and your mate didn't even know mine exists...

Blitzwing appeared from somewhere and followed.

Really? Did they announce all of this on the news? Rodimus grumbled to himself.

The ex-Con was pacing and wringing his hands at Rodimus' condition but no amount of joking was going to ease his fears. Despite all of Rodi's efforts to dissuade Blitz's dependency the young Prime was still the sun Blitz orbited. At least Elita was comfortable enough with the Decepticon traitor to give him a reassuring smile.

Rodimus hated it that they were here. Springer had been there when Lancer had brought Rodi home last year. He had been there when they made Rodimus back into an Autobot too, so he thought he knew what was going on. He didn't know about the Jabez though, and he didn't know about Conversion. Blitzwing...Blitzwing knew more than a former enemy probably should, but he knew even less of what was going on than Springer. Rodimus pinned his partner with a green-opticed glare. Optimus knew everything, but the level of caution Rodimus felt was necessary just didn't seem to stick with the Senior Prime.

It was an ever increasing source of tension between them.

Still, in the immediate interest of keeping his mate alive, Rodimus did think visiting their daughter was a good idea...and he was too tired to argue over cats out of bags. For now.

Besides, in the likely event the worst happened, he wanted to see Edana before he died.

Their destination was just down the hall. It seemed like a very long way to Rodimus.

Finally they reached a dim storage chamber. The neat rows of supplies had been rudely shoved aside to make room for a table, some human sized chairs, a mysterious collection of objects Rodimus knew he'd have to search Lancer's memory to identify, and a crib.

Suddenly, he tensed in agony. Lancer's rage and pain flared; he fought to keep her still. She was half-awake on the operating table and fighting for the other half. There was bright light, bodies all around her, and pain. Her utter certainty that she was in enemy hands set a flashback off in her mate. For a long moment he was bound and helpless. Goldbug was screaming. Even when he came out of it someone was screaming.

Much later, Optimus would inform him that his grip had injured both of his supporters. Rodimus could only be grateful at that point that the flashback had been one of the completely immobile sort. If it had been the kind where he could fight it would have been more than some damaged joints for Springer and Op.

As it was he crushed their hands. Lancer growled and snarled and thrashed on the operating table. A new, more dangerous sedative was administered finally took firm hold. Lancer slipped into a deep sleep on the edge of coma and some of the tension finally released from Rodi's form. Those supporting him were just glad his strong fingers unclenched before their hands got flattened. Springer lowered Rodimus gently against the wall, and Rodi gloried at the lack of pain.

Now there was only the insidious exhaustion to fight, but First Aid found them and plugged an energon line right into his systems. It helped his body cope anyway even if First Aid did freak out a bit about how fast the feed was moving. The medic stood there, watching the numbers tick away, and muttering about impossibilities until Rodimus was forced to ask him to back off.
Optimus talked to Carly, but Elita remained protectively at Rodi's side. She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her. They understood each other at that moment. She was not keeping him safe – she was keeping everyone else in the room safe from him. He was happy she was there, ready to take him down if he got violent. He hoped she could. Springer just parked himself against a wall and looked like he would have been happy to sink into it.

It all seemed very distant and surreal to Rodimus, as did the strange wailing that rose and fell around him.

They were talking about the crib.

Carly told Optimus that it had been Daniel's as she bounced and patted an animated bundle on her shoulder. Rodimus finally realized where the horrendous wailing was originating from, but somehow still didn't make the full connection. Optimus was expressing relief the Witwickys had kept the crib so long, as such objects were rare on Cybertron. Carly mentioned something about hopes for grandchildren, and laughed that of the "sons" she'd help raise the first to have a child was Rodi.

What an odd conversation, Rodimus thought vacantly. The reason for it hit him all at once and he came abruptly back to full awareness.

"Rodimus?" Carly approached him at little nervously. He couldn't ever remember seeing her look so harried before. She tried to smile at him. "She's a beautiful, healthy baby, Rodi. I just can't get her to stop crying. I've tried everything. She's in a very strange place among strangers and she's scared."

"Thanks for looking after her Carly," he heard himself say.

Carly gazed at him solemnly for a second. "I owe my son's life to you many times over, and even once to Lancer. You never need to thank me for helping out with your daughter. Would you like to hold her?"

Rodimus looked down, down at Carly and the squalling microbe she cradled. The surreal feeling returned. A ridiculous notion, giving him an infant. They'd never let him hold Daniel that young! How could he possibly hold something like that? How could he refuse?

Feeling as terrified as he'd ever felt, Rodimus stretched out a trembling hand. Even sitting, he needed to reach down so Carly could place the microbe - his kid - on his palm.

His servos barely registered the weight, but his view of the universe certainly did.

The little person sat on his palm and howled bloody murder. She was clearly unhappy and the world was going to share. Rodimus found this strangely perfect. He held her up to optic level and inspected what little there was of her to inspect. The first thing he said wasn't to his daughter or anyone else in this room.

"See Lancer? I knew you could do it! Nice job," he whispered. "The timing sort of sucks though."

Elita looked down at him, a bit surprised. "Rodimus? Were...were you and Lancer trying to produce a child?"

Rodimus flinched. "Let's just say we weren't trying NOT to. "

Elita winced a bit violently and Optimus sank down next to him. "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Optimus snorted. "Because I know you. The only way you'd ever even think about this is if you thought you were never getting home. You thought you were done. You thought you were free to live your own life."

Rodimus kept his optics on Edana – only partly because she was fascinating. "Yeah well, reality bites. I'm not going to complain we succeeded, but it was stupid to think we could. How are you even here Edana? Even if your mom was a regular lady, I shouldn't have been able to help out. It was just the two of us Optimus, and we were stuck. We had everything we needed and all the time in the universe...until her communicator picked up a ship in the area."

Optimus kept his optics on both of them. "I'm surprised you took it. Really Rodimus...I'm amazed you're here.

Rodimus flinched again. "I won't lie to you...it was close. I knew I was in for hell coming home, and I knew she planned to leave me if we got here. I had the damned thing in my hand and I was set to smash it into the ground."

"You didn't," Optimus said.

"Most days I'm sorry about that...wow, she's got fingernails and everything...but duty calls. You know I couldn't leave you here just waiting for the Jabez to come calling right?" Rodimus asked. "Geez Edana, my ears are ringing!"

Optimus opted not to point out that Rodimus currently didn't have ears...or that he could have lowered his audio sensitivity if he wanted. He was just glad to see his partner's attention on something that wasn't pain right now.

For her part, Edana didn't seem to focus at all on their faces like she did with Carly or the other humans. She wiped her eyes often and squinted a lot, but she was clearly curious too. Confronted with this interesting new landscape, Edana lowered her wails an octave or two and looked around. Awkwardly, but with considerable speed, she scrambled on hands and knees over the ridges and crevasses of her father's palm. She almost seemed to be enjoying herself when she suddenly shoved her tiny fists into her eyes and started crying again. While she was still a good ways from the edge of his hand, she was too close for Rodi's comfort, and he cupped his other hand in front of her.

Although he didn't know it, his action helped shield Edana from the source of her discomfort - Cybertron. Her father's hand added to the room's shielding, and replaced a painful barrage with something more comforting and familiar - life force. Edana sat up, sniffed a little, and finally smiled for the first time since being teleported away from the only home she'd ever known.

Rodimus didn't notice Elita point to his daughter's smiling face. Eerily familiar, if oddly displaced, the baby's smile had erased any faint doubts anyone had about this child's paternity the instant they saw it. Hot Rod's roguish grin, long since replaced by a superficial copy, had returned on a face of flesh. Even Springer seemed impressed.

Rodimus on the other hand was sort of answering his daughter's smile, although his was equal parts happiness and consternation. She was trying to use his fingers to pull herself up with.

"You are a person!" Rodimus told her. "I helped make an actual person! How does that work? The Jabez did it, didn't they? They made it so I could...why? This is cool but why...would they..."

He felt something then...not a flashback...not a memory...just emotion so dark it crushed his vision. He had just enough warning to tip Edana gently to the floor and scramble away from her. His optics went almost black. He scuttled backwards until he hit the wall. Edana screamed. Carly flew to snatch her up and kept going until she was on the far side of the room.

"Rodi!" Elita's face in his.

"I'll help you..." he told her, his face a mask of sincerity. "I'll help you find your mind..."

"Rodi it's me!" Elita said. "You're in Central!"

"I'll help you," he promised. His face warped into a smile that terrified Elita. "The drill...they're all getting the drill." He all but purred it.

"Rodi, where are you? It's Elita! Orion, he's not here! He's not seeing us!"

"What the hell is going on?!" Springer shouted.

"Just stay back Springer!" Optimus ordered.

"NO!" Springer voice was sharp with anger. "He was my friend before he was your partner Optimus! What's wrong with him?"

"I can't..." Optimus started, but at that moment Rodimus shuddered. His optics lit up and he looked around. He stood, back to the wall.

The Autobots peppered him with questions, but it was Carly he saw. She was standing, holding his shrieking child, with her body half-turned as if she couldn't decide whether to run to him or away from him. Her eyes told the same story of worry and fear.

He decided to make it easy on her. He slipped between the others before they could react and left the room with that unique silence. It was like watching a ghost.

Caught off guard by his sudden flight, the others scurried to catch up. They found him leaning against the wall just outside - having been intercepted by a distraught Blitzwing and a fuming Kup.

"What the hell was that back there?" Springer demanded again.

"Shove it Springer," Rodimus commanded. "Don't ask again."

"What?! Why?!"

"That's an order Springer!" both Primes said in unison.

"Wow. Synchronized douchbaggery," Springer said, but he quit asking questions for the moment.

"Did something happen?" Blitzwing asked.

"I'm OK, Blitz," Rodimus sighed.

"Really?" Blitzwing said a little harshly, "you've never lied to me before Rodimus, or is the fact that you can't stand upright on your own how you define OK?"

"You need to quit worrying about it too," Rodimus said.

"If I didn't care enough to worry, I wouldn't even be allowed in Central. I'd still be with the Decepticons. Quit trying to coddle me and everyone else, and tell us what we can do to help you!" It was the first time Blitzwing had ever contradicted his "savior", and Optimus felt like cheering. Blitz could talk sense to Rodi's stubborn head all day from Op's point of view.

"There's nothing. You guys get going. I need to talk to Optimus and Elita alone," he said. Blitzwing went willingly...Kup and Springer much less so.

When they were out of earshot, Rodimus gave Optimus a project.

"I'm going to let you figure out how to get an angry Wrecker to let go of his questions, Optimus. No doubt it will be inspiring watching you make it work. While your at it you can convince Carly I didn't almost just splatter my kid all over the floor."

"What happened back there Rodimus?" Elita asked.

"I don't know...usually I remember what I flash on, but not this time. I could have hurt someone! I could have killed Edana!"

"You put her down, Rodi. She didn't get a scratch," Elita reminded him.

"I'm not doing any good here...I'm only making things worse," he pointed out. "I'm stressed...I'm flashing, and sometimes I try to hurt people when I flash. Why can't I get you to take it seriously?"

"What do you mean? Of course we take it seriously!" Optimus insisted.

"Then why was Springer even there? Or Kup? Or Blitzwing for Cybertron's sake!" Rodimus' voice held a universe of exasperation.

"I thought you might need your friends around you more than your secrets," Optimus said sadly.

"I need my friends to be safe, I need my girls to be safe, and I need my partner to THINK, because I sure as hell can't right now!" Rodimus hissed.

"You know, in all my millions of years I've never had anything remotely like this to deal with, so forgive me for making it up as I go. What will make this better for you?" Optimus answered with a note of frustration.

Rodimus looked distressed. "There's nothing I can think of other than isolation. I can't even touch them! Edana didn't even know I was there. There's no way I can even move without hurting her. Lancer too. I keep thinking I should just go in to hold her hand." He grimaced. He wished he could scream. He really, really wished he could just scream.

"We aren't leaving you alone right now, Rodimus," Elita said with finality.

"What you are saying, really, is that you need to be human again," Optimus mused quietly. From the blank look Rodimus threw him, Op realized Rodi had never even considered that possibility. Optimus smiled ruefully to himself. Rodimus had few blind spots but the ones he had were big enough to drive a truck through. Pun definitely intended.

"Can that be done?" Elita asked.

"Optimus you've cracked your head casing!" Kup snarled at the same instant, coming back around the corner. "You can't mean to put him back in her hands!"

Optimus couldn't believe Kup had been eavesdropping. Even so, whatever reaction he was expecting from Kup it wasn't the fury he got. Kup had been offended a year ago when Lancer first caught and killed Ratbat spying on them, and then staged a disastrous test on Kup's security right before she left. As Chief of Security both incidents had embarrassed Rodi's mentor. Optimus never realized Kup's dislike had evolved into full-blown hatred. Containing a spy...finding weaknesses in the security system. These were things Kup usually praised. It seemed so...out of character for him.

"He needs to be with his...his family," Elita stated.

"WE are his family! I can't believe you'd let him go anywhere near that circuit twisting slut! Hasn't she done enough to him already? Look at him! She's screwed up him body and mind, and had that little virus to control him! She's nothing but a..." Kup's outburst was cut off by Optimus' outraged roar.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! What's wrong with you Kup? That 'virus' is his child! Like it or not, Lancer's his mate and his mate is dying! You choose now to argue about it?!"

Kup did indeed chose now to argue about it and the hall echoed with their raised voices. Optimus kicked himself for not locking down this wing before they brought Lancer down from the ship. He had meant to, but got distracted. Now they had all sorts of people who didn't need to be involved listening to them fighting in hall.

"Keep it down!" Elita reminded them uselessly.

Kup yelled right into Op's face, and Optimus lost his legendary composure. Elita couldn't believe her optics as two venerated Autobot warriors turned on each other like schoolyard brats.

Rodimus was too tired and confused already to follow and their voices became sort of a noise that swirled unpleasantly around him. He recoiled. Kup's verbal assault deeply hurt and shocked him. The added stress was brutal. Worse, it roused Lancer again.

Drugged and delirious, she still somehow picked up the gist of Kup's argument through Rodi. Kup was summing up the fears which had driven her to leave in the first place - fears that she'd injured or tainted Rodimus through their link. Rodimus could never be sure if what happened next was because the medical team panicked and tried another sedative cocktail, deliberate, or just the result of shock due to the delirious certainty that all hers fears were now fact. Her heart stopped. Rodimus slid down the wall while most of his oblivious friends stood in a tight angry knot and shouted at each other. He didn't have the strength to raise a voice for help.

Elita cried out though. "Rodi! Shut UP you idiots!" Her voice sliced the rest of the cacophony like a sword.

Rodimus dimly heard the cries of the medical staff through Lancer's ears and focused on them. Shouts of "Cardiac arrest," "charging", and CLEAR!" were repeated several times. "It's not working!" "Are you sure it charged?" Rodimus heard "Clear!' again. Then, "Fucking mutant! Her body is just absorbing all the charge! We'll have to do a manual massage!"

It took Rodimus a moment to actually process their words and the pain in his chest. When he finally sorted it out he realized her heart had stopped beating. Even an Autobot knew what that meant.

Her heart can't stop, he decided vaguely even as all sound faded and the blackness reached out to engulf them both, it has to start again. NOW.

"I've got a pulse," someone shouted. "Let's close. We'll finish later. She can't take any more and right now neither can I!" There was relieved, tired laughter. Lancer slipped back down into true unconsciousness, and Rodimus awoke to a hard slap in the face.

"I love you too, Optimus," Rodimus joked weakly.

"Sometimes," Optimus said sourly, "I suspect you've staged this whole mess merely to drive me insane! Will you rest now? Please?!"

"Well, since you're on to me anyway..."

A strangled part sob/part snarl tore out of Kup's throat and he slammed his fists into the wall. "She killing him! Your processor has cosmic rust Optimus. You're an overheated, glitch brained..."

"Superior officer!" Ultra Magnus finished for him. The City Commander had stayed at his post as long as he could stand. "One more word and you'll end up in the brig Kup! They told you to leave. Here...let me help you." He grabbed his friend roughly by the arm and escorted Kup forcefully down the hall, throwing Optimus a disgusted look over his shoulder while he did.

"They must be disengaged," Kup intoned. "The link is interfering with Rodimus' programming. They must be disengaged!"

"You sound like YOUR processor has been disengaged! Get out of here before I'm forced to charge you with insubordination!" Magnus threatened. He saw the old warrior all the way out of the ward, enduring heaps of creative cursing along the way. Once he shoved Kup out of the area, Magnus planned to put the whole hospital wing on lock down to all but essential personnel with guards on the entrances just for fun too.

He watched the old warrior stomping off down the hall for a minute and then froze in place. He turned and slowly headed back towards Lancer ward. The hospital wing remained open.

Optimus supported Rodimus all the way to a repair-bay on the next level. There, they stretched him on a table, hooked up another energon line, and dimmed the lights at his request. They thought the darkness was to help him rest, but he thought of it more as insurance against flashbacks...not to mention the darker manifestations of his madness. Anger curled through him. Anger at the slavers...at Optimus...Kup...even Lancer. Yeah. Hurting someone seemed like a great idea right now. Best not to dwell on it.

Elita said something to him but he missed it.

"What?" Rodi asked. "Sorry, it's sort of hard to concentrate right now."

She sighed and looked worriedly at him. "Maybe I shouldn't bother you."

"It's OK. I think I need to stay focused."

"Edana...she looks like you," she repeated.

"I...I didn't notice," Rodimus finally confessed.

"You weren't looking then," she chuckled, "It's really...odd...to see the resemblance."

"I was looking," Rodimus said slowly, "but all I saw...was Lancer."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Lancer's vital signs stabilized in about 24 hours and the doctors decided to finish what they'd started. Using the Maelstrom's files and scanners, and Cybertronian construction techniques, they removed Lancer's damaged bones and replaced them. The synthetic structure replaced the upper half of her humorous and all the bones in her left shoulder, including over half the collarbone. They did what they could for the surrounding nerves and tissue and gave up counting stitches when they passed 500. The bounty-hunter's toxins had mostly worn off, so she was a better patient for the second procedure.

"Surgery and wrestling don't mix," quipped one of the nurses.

The lead surgeon, Dr. Winston, a man with decades of experience patching up soldiers fresh from one conflict or another, agreed. He was used to his patients being combative both before and after he patched them up. Given the amount of scars, randomly manifesting body parts, and energy powers on this one, he decided he was being given a challenge in his old age. He also decided to put her in a medically induced coma for the first few days after her surgery. It was a risky move, not usually called for with arm injuries, but not as risky as letting her tear herself apart again if she came to fighting for her life.

Carly was having a bad time of things.

When the ships had returned, Optimus turned to her in a panic – the only human woman he knew and trusted enough with Rodi's child...and his secrets. She hadn't needed much convincing, but she might have hesitated more if she'd known how hard it was going to be. Since arriving on Cybertron, Edana had done nothing really but scream. She wouldn't really eat; she only slept when her own howling exhausted her. Nothing Carly thought to check, from her diapers to her temperature gave Carly any idea what to do with her.

Spike was away again, Daniel was at school, and Carly was alone for hours on end with a squalling child. She was horribly worried about Rodimus, but news of what was happening only trickled in when someone remembered to come tell her. She still felt in some way responsible for "driving Lancer off" by snapping at her the day before the young mutant had fled. Rodi's assurances that Lancer had always planned to leave didn't help much. Helping with the baby had seemed at least a small way Carly could make up for that, but she felt she was failing.

Then came the terrifying moment when Rodimus' optics shut off and he had some kind of panic attack right there in the nursery. Optimus had come down later to tell her Rodi had suffered some kind of glitch due to his link with Lancer. She believed him...mostly. It didn't make her feel any better about Rodi's situation or having him around his own daughter.

That made her feel guilty, so she made a conscious decision not to let her concern show.

Help came strangely.

Claudia, Lancer's bird-like friend simply appeared at the "nursery" door and approached Edana's crib without asking. Not knowing this being approaching her charge, Carly reached for her side-arm. The alien's head had snapped suddenly her direction as if at a loud noise.

"I'm from the Maelstrom", Claudia had said, or rather piped. "I'm here to see the hatchling." She had to repeat it several times before Carly understood. Having no real vocal chords meant Claudia's unnamed species communicated very little vocally - and when they did it was with almost musical tones. The "words" she formed were really a very sophisticated form of whistle and to Carly it was like listening to a 6-foot tall mynah bird. Fortunately Carly had enough experience as an ambassador to hide her surprise and listen carefully. She also sensed enough to slow down her own speech for Claudia to follow.

It wasn't long before they were conversing pretty well with each other, and Carly grew to respect how well the alien DID speak English. She laughed when Claudia explained the obvious - that the name "Claudia" was not really her name, but one chosen to hide her identity and give the others on board something they could pronounce. Carly rapidly found herself not only following what Claudia said with relative ease but enjoying the company. (She didn't know until much later that part of her easy acceptance of this stranger was facilitated by Claudia herself. Her empathic powers worked to soothe the baby AND the babysitter.)

Nevertheless, Carly was a bit mystified when Claudia simply stood over the crib without touching Edana at first. She unfolded her long, tufted arms from her shoulders and held her hands about 3 inches over the baby's body. She closed her strange, sideways-slitted eyes and stood there swaying slightly. Nothing could have surprised Carly more than when Edana's wails slowed to a more tolerable snuffling. Only then did Claudia reach into the crib and pick her friend's baby up - cupping her in over-long hands and pressing Edana to her chest under her chin. Edana's body sagged like a rag-doll and in an instant she was out. Carly expected Claudia to either put the baby down or walk around with her. The alien did neither. She seemed content to stand perfectly still and let the baby sleep there while she talked to Carly. The entire time they chatted, Claudia didn't so much as readjust the baby's weight. Carly was amazed Claudia's arms didn't get tired.

"Oh she likes you! I think she's afraid of me," Carly said.

"I can feel this little one from the ship, which is shielded to keep me from feeling such things," Claudia told Carly. "It should be impossible, but she is scanning as an empath too, so maybe that's why. She is terribly frightened but I think it's from pain, not from your care."

"How do you know?" Carly asked.

"My species is empathic. I can't control it anymore, but I can still read hearts. Unfortunately knowing the small one is hurting does not tell me why. You may want one of these healers to look at her, but be careful who you trust. The last time one of our crew trusted an outsider it almost was the death of her son. Lancer has a death mark on her, as do we all, so now Edana does too." Claudia piped softly.

Carly stared at this new alien friend, remembering the men who tried to kill her and Daniel to get to Lancer. "I'll see what I can do. Maybe First Aid can figure it out. Do you think I should tell Rodimus? I hate to give him anything else to worry about." She didn't look forward to telling him something might be wrong with the daughter he hardly knew.

Claudia shrugged. "You know him better than I. I would not. His mind is deteriorating." Claudia's head turned sharply Carly's way. "You love him...and you did not know. He is very ill from trauma Carly. I am sorry. I thought you must know."

"Is it the link with Lancer that's making him sick?"

"No. What the Jabez did to him before she saved him made him sick. Kain and I think the link may be the key to stabilizing both of them, but first Lancer has to live, and then she has to surrender. I do not know which is less likely, human." Claudia's species never mastered the art of softening news...among a race of empaths it was a worthless art.

Next day - Lancer's Ward:

"No I don't know where he is! That's what I'm trying to tell you!" Magnus snapped at Optimus. "I told him you and Elita were coming to down to take him to see Edana and the next thing I know he's just gone."

Optimus sighed. "I'm sure he's terrified to go in there after last time. I expected an argument, not a vanishing act. How does he pull that off anyway?"

"Where would he go?"

Talon shook his head. "You reading this Rob?"

"Yup," came back over the com.

"And?" Talon asked, rolling his eyes. Sometimes Robert just loved to rub it in when he got to play omniscient from the deck of the Maelstrom.

"He's about 10 levels down from where you guys are standing right now."

Magnus smacked himself in the face. "His quarters."

"Well," Optimus snorted. "That IS probably the last place we'd think to look for him. Let's go."

"No, Orion. You stay here," Elita said.

"Elita?"

"I'm sorry Orion," she said, touching his face. "Every time you two are in the same room lately there's tension. Right or wrong he's mad at you right now. You stay here with Talon. Magnus can come with me."

Optimus threw up his hands, but didn't argue.

Elita nodded at Magnus who followed her to the nearest lift. When they got to Rodi's quarters, neither was surprised their polite knock went unanswered or that the door was locked.

"We'll have to blast it," Elita said.

"No. I have the override codes," Magnus said. "Believe me when I was this boy's superior I needed them a lot, and some habits are worth keeping around." He tapped a long series of numbers and the door obligingly let them into the apocalypse.

Rodi's quarters were trashed. All the lights were smashed out so it was hard to find the responsible party in the chaos. They both turned on the headlights to their vehicle modes and scanned the room.

"I don't want to hear another word about how much furniture I go through," Magnus muttered as they searched. Elita smirked but decided against pointing out that one trashed room was a long stretch from a few million years of mangled chairs.

She paused at Rodi's desk. The area around it looked like a bomb had gone off, but there was a perfectly intact scale model of a building sitting untouched among the ruins. The femme commander inspected the tiny, detailed object for a minute. She didn't know what it was, but it told her everything she needed to know about Rodi right now.

They headed through the dark into the private section of the residence and found their quarry next to his recharging berth. Laying optics on him didn't make them feel any better though.

He was sitting on the floor in a corner, drawing patterns on his own forearm with a needle. His legs, the walls, and the floor around him were already decorated. "You shouldn't be here," he told them. He didn't look up.

Elita raced to his side, "Great Cybertron STOP!" she ordered, grabbing his knife arm. It disconcerted her a bit she couldn't even budge him.

"Oh," he smiled, still without looking at her. "Are you volunteering yourself instead? If not you should probably go. Don't worry...it doesn't hurt much. I hope I can make it hurt enough. Really...you should go. It would work better if it was you." His tone was calm and conversational, even while he pushed the blade deep into his housing. Sparks flew and energon ran freely down his arm, but he didn't flinch.

"Rodimus if you don't stop right now I'll..." Magnus started.

Rodi laughed, and drew. "You'll what? You can't handle me. You already know you can't handle me. The only person who can is down there dying Magnus! I'm doing what I can to keep myself from taking this out on all of you! Why did I come home? I can't feel her Magnus! I can't feel anything!" The needle dug deep furrows into his housing. "I shouldn't have come home. I should have smashed that damned teleporter. Or...or just come home long enough to warn you. I didn't even have to tell you who I was. We could have gone back to the Maelstrom and raised Edana there and killed slavers and Jabez and no one here would be in danger of me and it would have been fine. Why didn't I think of that? Why did I think I could do this?" He pushed the needle right through his palm, completely ignoring Elita's attempts to take it away from him.

"By the Matrix what did they do to you?" Elita whispered, her voice cold with rage.

Rodimus smiled. "I like you Elita. You should go. You should."

"You seriously expect us to leave you here like this? I'm not afraid of you Rodi! I know you love us," Elita insisted. "Now get that thing out of your hand and give it to me!"

"You think I won't hurt you because I love you? I hurt Lancer more than once and I loved her. I will hurt you Elita. I will and I'll make it special because I love you...and because I love Optimus too. Get her out of here Magnus. Seal the door...and make another door...seal that...did you eliminate the air vents like I asked you to?"

"I did," Magnus answered.

"Good. Those were stupid and unhelpful, sort of like you two. Get out of here!"

"We were planning to take you to see Edana...you haven't been back to see her," Elita said.

Rodimus stirred the blade in his palm around a bit. "That's because I'm only crazy...not stupid. This doesn't hurt nearly enough."

"Maybe seeing her will help you! Rodimus...please stop hurting yourself!" Elita sounded frantic.

"It's myself or someone else, Elita. Those are your choices. As for my daughter...how did you plan to protect her from me when you can't even defend yourself?"

Elita's gun materialized from subspace...right at Rodi's temple. "You'd be surprised what I can protect Rodimus."

Rodi continued with his carving, but he grinned. "You think I don't know you'd pull the trigger on me faster than anyone else in this entire army? I saw you fight the Quints. You were the only one of us Bots Lancer wouldn't have criticized for missed shots and pulled punches. If I'd known I would have taken you instead of Mags and Jazz. Whatever this thing Vector Sigma did to us was...this thing that makes us spare our enemies even when we don't mean to...it missed you. Or you lost it fighting Shockwave and friends. You'd make a good assassin Elita. You get it. But, as fast as you'd go to blast me," he spun his leaking limb, knocking her aim away from his head and into the wall, and trapping her against it at the same time. "It wouldn't be fast enough."

Elita gasped. He had a new blade under her chin. The one in his other hand still impaled it clear through. She looked him in the optics, narrowed hers, and casually pushed the blade at her throat aside with two fingers. "Nice show. This would all be very impressive if you were serious Rodimus. You won't hurt me...you won't hurt Edana either."

Rodimus pulled back and shook his head. "You don't know that Elita! How can you know that when I don't! You can't stop me. I need a kill-switch. That's what I need. Something you can use to just shut me down like Lancer did when I got out of hand. What made me think I could do this without her is a mystery. I have no business being around any of you. Now...for the last time. Get out! If you make me force you out it may REALLY push me over."

"What is that thing on your desk out there? That tiny building?" she questioned.

"It's...it's an architect's model...why are you asking?" Rodimus wondered, derailed by the change of subject.

"It's special to you isn't it?" Elita stated more than asked.

Magnus snorted. "It's a music hall they named after him. His defense of the area when Trypticon was first activated earned him that."

Elita grinned. "Special indeed then. Also quite fragile...and absolutely in one piece Rodi." She touched his face. "I'm not going to force you to go right now...but you need to trust yourself more. We'll work on a way you can be around your girls without worrying so much...NO! Don't argue with me. We'll do it. You need to trust us more too. I take it you've had moments like this before?"

Rodimus pulled the knife out of his draining palm and nodded.

"Your mate helped you through them?"

"She wasn't my mate yet the last time it got this bad," he said, wondering the whole time why he was confessing it. "It was her I tried to torture Elita. I almost had her too, but she heard me at the last second and knocked me out."

"What then?" Elita prompted.

He laughed. "When I came to she praised me for sneaking up on her, apologized for not being a better therapist, and insisted on going over each and every style of blade she had to make sure I knew what each one was for. When I told her I was planning to do...this..." he waved his mutilated arm at them, "to her, she told me she didn't blame me for wanting to hurt someone, and that she hoped I made it home even if I killed her. Anyone else would have been terrified. She turns it into a lesson on how to do it better. If I wasn't already starting to fall for her before that, I'm pretty sure that did it right there."

"It's true," Magnus said. "The things she put up with trying to save you. I don't know if she's just stupidly brave or stubborn but I would have probably left your aft on the sand."

Elita turned on the City Commander in surprise. "How do you know?"

"When we first tried to get to Vector Sigma it ransacked our memories and sent us through a series of holographic projections of them. Whoever's turn it was...if felt real. Like we were there, but the other two got to watch. Jazz and I saw some of what they went through after she rescued him. Whenever I think about it...it's a miracle he's here at all. The sheer tenacity it took to save him – he fought her most of the way. Really Rodimus. It's a miracle you're here, and that this is the worst episode you've had since coming home."

Elita stared at Magnus. Something about the way her optics bored into him told him he was in for an epic interrogation later.

Rodimus shuddered. "There was a day...much later...after we were already lovers...where I had an...episode as you call it. She...offered to let me...do this to her. She caught me thinking about it, not even all that seriously, just in passing, and didn't even hesitate. Just offered up her skin because she thought I needed it."

"Did you...?"

"No! Although a part of me was REALLY tempted, but the fact she would volunteer for that...for me...just stopped me cold. Do you get that? There's pretty much nothing she wouldn't do or go through for someone she loves if she thinks it's good for them. That's what we're up against here. She thinks breaking this link is good for me. I'm terrified of what she will do if she wakes up...and I'm terrified of what I will do if she dies. Everything she helped me build back up...all the work she did helping me put some semblance of sanity over the mess in my mind...it's all crumbling. You think the wall was killing us? The wall's gone and she's not there. Clear now? I'm regressing! It's going to get worse! Get it through your thick heads and get the fuck out."

"You need First Aid," Elita told him.

Rodimus cursed viciously, flipped up off the ground, and launched into the air, kicking them both in the head simultaneously before they even realized he was moving. He grabbed both of his stunned victims by the arms and marched them out the door.

"I am melting this thing closed!" he promised as he shoved them into the hall. "If you're smart you'll do the same from the outside...with a solid plate! If Lancer dies you just leave it sealed! Just leave it sealed! And Edana goes with Malice!" He withdrew and locked the door. They heard the dull report of his rifle blasting the control panel on the other side.

Elita and Magnus spent a minute clearing their heads.

"Well," Elita said when she finally straightened up. "That didn't go quite like I imagined it."

"It went better than it could have," Magnus said. They both winced when the sound of laser-fire hit the door behind them. Like all the doors in Central, the entrance to Rodi's quarters had blast shielding. Nevertheless, they were beginning to glow bright orange and melt along the seams.

Magnus sighed and shook his head.

"I didn't know his rifle packed that kind of power," Elita said, surprised.

"That's not his rifle," Magnus informed her. "That's the trailer's cannons." Magnus had an ear for weaponry.

"Ah...I didn't know he had a trailer," Elita said.

"What are we going to do?" Magnus asked. "He talks about the lengths she'll go to to keep him safe, and I'm sure you've figured out he knows no limits when it comes to us either, right?"

"Oh indeed. I think we leave him alone until we're ready with the next step, and then we go get him. It won't take too much longer now. Perceptor didn't think there was that much modifying to do to start with. He won't be able to claim we can't handle him then!"

"You think he's just going to let us walk back in?"

Elita laughed. "There's always another way Magnus."

They left him alone. The darkness was good. The silence was good.

Carving himself up was no good. He couldn't really feel it anyway – the stupid metal shell he called a body barely had enough nerve circuits to register the damage. He was tired, so he stopped. After a few hours he also noticed to his consternation that the damage was repairing itself. He hadn't realized the Jabez had upgraded his robotic repair systems too. First Aid had always stepped in.

He was not grateful...and the destruction of both his home and his body reached new heights in the dark. The trailer got torn to shreds, just to see if he could even get the feedback to feel like pain. Nope. Not really. It had never felt much like part of him anyway. OK maybe when he upended the thing and ripped the axles out it hurt some. Maybe. A little.

He kept expecting interference.

It didn't come.

Maybe they finally got smart. He was grateful for that.

Hmmm...

And suspicious.

Hours ticked by in the dark. Nothing came to him...not from her or his own shell. He lay on the floor and drifted, trying to find her. He knew she wasn't dead, but the coma from drugs, and wounds, and blood loss had pulled her from him like the shield wall never had.

There was no pain involved, only numbness and exhaustion and despair.

A sound disturbed his darkness. Just a small displacement of air really, but it alerted him instantly.

He flipped to his feet, green optics flaring in the dark.

"Wow...this mess is amazing," Malice said, shining a flashlight around the room.

*TK* Pagan agreed.

"Hi Rodi!" Malice said, with that false cheer that meant she was nervous. "We've got a surprise for you!"

"Go away," he ordered.

*TK* Pagan said, and laughed. "You are coming with us robot. We asked you make it voluntary, but your cooperation is not required. You are coming."

"Don't worry! This is a good one! You'll like it,really," Malice chirped.

"I'm warning you," Rodimus hissed. "Keep your distance."

Both the organics laughed at him then. "Let's see," Malice mused. "Trashed room, check. Self-mutilation, check. Useless paranoid warnings about being too dangerous to be around, check! Yeah, you and Lancer really were made for each other, and if you really do have some of her memories you know how we handled her. Come on...we are going to make you safer to be around, and you know you can't fight me anyway Honey."

The Autobot Prime sized up the 89 pound Class One telekenetic and knew he was outmatched. "Malice it isn't the same...you can't..."

"Take him," Pagan said.

Rodimus felt his limbs pin down to his sides. He was held so tightly he couldn't move a servo. Pagan smiled that wrap-around smile of hers, and took Malice's hand. Then they approached him together and her scaly hand rested gently on his leg.

His quarters and his restraints vanished in the same instant. Looking around a bit wildly he recognized Perceptor's lab. Perceptor, KC, and exactly all of his command staff except Jazz.

"What?! Why?!" Rodimus protested. Bright lights and labs...just what he needed.

"Because this is here," Optimus told him calmly, pointing.

Rodimus squinted that direction and saw the dreaded hexagons of Jabez technology - specifically the chamber they'd used to morph him back into Autobot form.

"It's working," Optimus told him. Rodimus threw him a "so what?" look so he elaborated. "In reverse Rodi! And you complain about my blind spots...we're making you human again so you can be around your girls without worrying quite so much."

"Oh...Really? Right now?" He was sounding all kinds of intelligent today.

"I told you you'd like it," Malice laughed.

"No! Not right now," First Aid argued. "Not until you've been...wait...Elita you told me he cut through his housing." The medic violated every rule of personal space grabbing Rodimus by the hand and inspecting him. Rodimus managed not to deck him.

"It healed itself," Rodimus whispered, knowing it would just one more thing that made him a freak in the eyes of his people. "Unless you count what I did to my trailer. I don't think that's gonna seal up on its own."

"What did you do?" First Aid demanded.

Rodimus shrugged and transformed. Usually his vehicle mode pulled the trailer right from subspace and hooked it up. Not today. It came a bit sluggishly, but at last it came. The hook up part wasn't going to happen though...not with the trailer missing all it wheels and laying on its side. The paneling was crushed,torn, or missing entirely. It was, in short, totaled.

"Are you crazy?!" First Aid cried.

Rodimus declined to answer that. The only thing that shocked him was how shocked most of the command staff seemed. Especially Optimus. Magnus at least was just shaking his head.

"Where's the cannon?" the City Commander wanted to know.

"It's set up in front of my door...in case you tried something," Rodimus said.

"Which is why we didn't go through that way," Elita smiled, confirming that using Lancer's friends was her idea. "I told you we'd find a way to handle you. Don't tell me you object."

Rodimus shook his head. "I don't. Lancer won't like it, but if she lives long enough to be mad at me about it I'll be glad. This...this is a good idea guys."

"Mark the date! We did something right," Optimus cried, raising both arms over his head. "Do you think that mess is going to cause problems Perceptor," the senior Prime asked, indicating the mangled trailer.

"Of course it's going to cause problems!" First Aid cried. "How am I ever going to fix this? Why? HOW did you manage this? Didn't it hurt?"

"No," Rodimus said. He joined Optimus in waiting for Perceptor's analysis.

"Considering that your trailer remained in subspace during your entire last voyage into organic existence and has no direct counterparts to human anatomy as your root form does, I do not believe your self-inflicted damage poses any threat to you returning to human form. However, it is perhaps better to use an abundance of caution in this regard as no one has had any prior opportunity to test these theories."

"Well, consider this your chance," Rodimus said.

First Aid and Perceptor starting shouting at him simultaneously. Magnus watched Rodi's optics getting greener by the second and decided to move. He grabbed the junior Prime by the elbow and steered him into the chamber.

"Do not argue with him," Magnus said, pointing to the trailer. "Does it look at all like he cares about risks right now? Just light it up."

Inside the chamber, Rodimus heard this exchange only dimly. White hexagon floor...walls covered with fine circuitry and wires. He didn't flash, but relived the memory of his first time in one of these chambers almost as intensely. Agony would follow. No. He wasn't there...this time he wanted this. This time there were reasons...good things to look forward to. Maybe. If she lived. Still, some part of him wondered if he wasn't proving Lancer's doubts. It was so easy to justify this. Was that because it was justifiable or just because he wanted it so badly?

He kept himself in the present by watching Perceptor rush around and watching the rest of his friends come together to support each other. They were more concerned than he was clearly.

The chamber started humming...then shrieking as the power ramped up. As before, blinding energy tore into him. He felt his body resist, then yield. Fire in his sensors became an inferno in his nerves. At least he was feeling something!

The energy seared, getting worse as his nerves concentrated into a softer, smaller area. He felt himself slipping into a manic flashback and summoned an image of Lancer and Edana like a talisman. Never letting go of that Rodimus fought back his memories and discovered the change was complete.

Was it his imagination or had that gone easier than the last time?

A thousand minute sensations momentarily paralyzed him. The cold-smooth floor, his skin rubbing against itself as he shivered in a ball on the floor. The scrape of his eyelashes on his forearm when he blinked. His heartbeat. Presently he realized he was forgetting to breathe and he gasped air into his rediscovered lungs. The air tasted like metal. For just a moment he was back in the torture chamber. He fully expected the next sensation to be strong, oily fingers wrapping around his shoulders like tentacles and then the needles...No. Not this time. This time he was home.

The chamber's door opened, and Perceptor's distant face peered in. "Rodimus?" he asked. Then he remembered to look down. "Oh. There you are. Obviously the procedure was successful."

"Hey, what's he look like?" Perceptor's young aide enthusiastically poked her head in. KC peeked around Perceptor's leg, gasped, gaped, and turned pink up to her ears. She ducked back out even more quickly than she'd popped in.

"I don't suppose anyone thought to bring me anything to wear?" Rodimus asked wryly when he'd finally deciphered KC's reaction. "GREAT," he snapped at Perceptor's blank look. Rodi cooled his heels inside the chamber while they called Carly (again!) for help. He took stock of himself while he waited. The numbing void from Lancer's side still hurt in ways he had no name for, but this over-sensitive body was firmly anchoring him in reality. He was a bit shocked at how much better feeling cold and uncomfortable was than feeling dead.

In about half an hour, Daniel ran in and tossed him a T-shirt, trunks, and a pair of sweat pants - in addition to a gleeful, mocking smirk. The clothes were Spike's and they were too small on him. He was afraid one deep breath would split the entire outfit.

Daniel thought the whole thing was hysterical. "You look like an overstuffed sausage," he informed Rodimus gravely and then doubled over laughing. It wasn't long before the assembled Autobots, Lancer's friends, and even embarrassed KC joined in. Rodimus made a big show of pouting.

This was no big deal right? Just for fun...like the first time. Why were so many people here?

"Oh nice! Fine!" Rodimus said peevishly, "Laugh now! I'll get you guys! Just remember I can get back to being an Autobot when I want now! I'll be back to kick your asses whenever I need to." From the laughter that swept the room, he got the feeling they didn't take him too seriously. Good. Maybe it would keep them from thinking.

Daniel got to pay for his teasing by being assigned to do the shopping. He got a long list from Carly as well, involving formula, pacifiers, and diapers. Rodimus was gratified to see that shut him up.

They went to see the baby first since Rodimus planned to sleep in Lancer's ward. Optimus and Elita followed him down, hand in hand. Malice and Pagan followed too, although Magnus went to relieve Jazz from Lancer guard-duty.

Carly picked Edana up first.

"Are you...OK, Rodimus?"

"You mean am I going to freak out and almost hurt her again? …. I don't know Carly. I never know. But this time, I think I have enough chaperons," Rodimus said with a wry smile.

"Well, that's good enough for me," Carly smiled sadly. "Here's your girl." She plunked the soft, solid weight of his daughter into his arms.

He was again overwhelmed by things coming through his nerves. The feel of her skin, her strangely sweet scent, the utterly ridiculous giggle she let out at the transfer, but the over-riding question was, "What's up with the sunglasses Carly?" Edana had on a very reflective, visor-like pair of shades strapped to her head with an elastic band. A pink elastic band...with flowers on it.

Carly gave him another smile that was somehow equal parts relief and worry. "She needs them. This place was blinding her. That's why she was crying all the time. Now she only cries when she needs something like a good girl."

"Blinding her?" Rodimus asked. He stared into his daughter's nearly white eyes, and found it both disconcerting and amazing when she stared right back at him. "Hey! She sees me!"

"It took Robert a while to finish translating her mutancy scans. She sees energy way past normal human vision on both ends of the spectrum...including a whole bunch you guys use as transmissions. So he sent her stats to Perceptor and KC. They whipped these up in about an hour," Malice told him.

"Ah. KC. That explains the pink," Rodimus mused.

"They are a God-send!" Carly exclaimed. "She went from being a raging mess to a joy to be around almost immediately! I wanted to cry myself I was so relieved!"

"I'm so sorry I haven't been able to help you Carly...any of you. Malice please tell Robert thank you for figuring it all out." Edana giggled again. "You think this is all funny do you?" He held her at eye level by the armpits, which got him a big smile. "OK fine, I see some passing resemblance, except for the trouble-making part."

The multitude of voices crying various versions of "blind understatement" and "ESPECIALLY the trouble-making part" swirled around him. He grinned, and for the first time in a long time, meant it. Elita's grip on her mate's fingers became somewhat painful for a second, but Optimus understood.

They watched Rodi press Edana's forehead to his. "It's OK...I forgive you for being trouble. You're why Mom's breathing. I wasn't enough reason for her, but you are, so I forgive you in advance for anything else you get into. Just be good for Carly, OK?"

Rodimus stayed in the nursery longer that he'd planned, holding Edana and marveling over her tiny hands and toes. He carefully inspected each one of them, and was impressed that they all bent in appropriate directions. Finally, he mustered enough resolve to relinquish her and face Lancer's ward. He approached the room with a trepidation he didn't quite understand.

"It will be fine, Rodi," Elita said softly. Rodimus jumped-he'd forgotten they were still with him.

I'm still really out of it, he realized.

"Do you want us to leave you alone?" Optimus asked.

"I guess it doesn't matter much - I keep forgetting you're here," said the little red-head with Rodi's voice and his tired smile.

"I'm worried about you," Optimus said.

"I know. I'm sorry. Stay if it makes you feel any better," Rodimus said.

Optimus shook his head, "We're not the ones who need to feel better partner."

Rodimus stared up at his friends, "I already feel better. I don't know why. For a while there, I felt like I had no connection to anything." He gestured at himself, "This made a difference, and not just because I was afraid of flattening someone."

"Well, if support is all we can offer, then we'll just have to keep offering it," Elita said with an amused smile as if the matter had ever been in doubt. She, of all the Autobots, seemed completely unfazed by Rodi's human entanglements.

Rodimus opened the door to Lancer's ward, but held back before going in. "After you," he said, waving them in.

"Coward," Elita said teasingly.

"Certainly," Rodi returned, with as much pomp as he could muster.

Malice had gone on guard duty while Rodi stalled in the nursery. Now she was sitting next to Lancer and holding her right hand. She looked up when they came in and smiled at him. "They just told me she's not so critical anymore, Rodi. They're taking her off the coma meds and her arm is pretty warm too, so they're hopeful she'll get to keep it."

"Yeah...are you OK Malice?" The tiny telekenetic had long rows of stitches down her face where his mate had slashed her. He hadn't noticed earlier but it didn't look good to him.

"I'm fine. Can...can I give you a hug?" Malice asked.

Rodimus stared at her...then realized. She didn't know how much he could tolerate being touched. It told him a lot about what she learned dealing with Goldb...Shellshock. He nodded and she almost ran into his arms. Holding her was a bit like holding a skeleton.

"Thank you for watching her," he said "and for coming to kidnap me."

"Thank you for holding Lancer to this life. Claudia says she'd be dead for sure if it wasn't for you," Malice said.

Rodimus shrugged. "I'm selfish. I want her here. Besides, she owes me a rematch. Our last score was 314 to 96...I want to make up some points. Anyway, it's Edana she's holding on for. I'm not supposed to need her anymore."

Malice grinned (a bit painfully) and gave him her seat.

Rodimus took his mate's hand, laced his fingers through hers, kissed her forehead, and cussed her out under his breath.

"Hey Lady," he said. "I'm here. I am so fucking mad at you, and wait till you see what I did about it. I'm looking forward to getting my ass kicked. You had better be planning on waking up to kick it for me, OK?"

Elita snickered. "I am looking forward to seeing this relationship in action," she smiled.

Rodimus sighed. "I predict there will be some action to see. I've broken pretty much every promise I made to her and she's not going to take it well."

"She'll forgive you," Optimus said. "Don't worry about it."

"Uh-huh," Rodimus told him. "When you're about to do something stupid your Lady throws you this look. It's really interesting. She just looks at you and you suddenly know better. I've seen it happen. It's like...magic."

Optimus was not about to argue this point...not with Elita right there smiling pleasantly and telling him with her optics that he should know better than to argue.

"Um...right," Optimus Prime agreed slowly.

"Yeah, well you and Elita have had millions of years to get that down. We haven't. So, where your girl throws looks, mine throws lasers...at me...just to be sure I get the message," Rodimus told them.

Malice and Elita laughed. Optimus looked a bit shocked.

"Isn't it amazing though how her aim goes all to shit when it's someone she cares about?" Malice mused.

"I've found myself surrounded by craters more than once," he told her. "I'm a slow learner."

Optimus and Elita sat there for about four Terran hours.

Doctors and nurses had come and gone in a steady procession, members of the Maelstrom crew had paused awkwardly in the door. Through it all, Rodimus had gently held Lancer's hand. He said next to nothing except once to complain about the heat. Finally, still cradling her fingers in his own, he fell to sleep in his chair.

Dr. Winston noticed this and smiled to himself. He asked a pair of orderlies to bring over an unoccupied hospital bed next to Lancer's. They managed to lift Rodimus into it without waking him or breaking his grip. Elita was thoroughly impressed by this feat and praised them.

"He's gotta be totally exhausted," one of them men said, shaking off her compliment with a smile, "if he wasn't, we'd have woken him for sure. The Doc just doesn't want him to get neck strain sleeping in a chair."

By the next morning however it became apparent more than simple exhaustion was at work. Blitzwing tore heedlessly down the hallways of Central at full tilt-leaving startled humans and Autobots flattened against the walls in his wake. For once their curses didn't bother him as he charged into the command center. Optimus had decreed that nothing about Lancer's condition was to be transmitted electronically which meant messages had to be passed in person. Blitzwing scrambled into the command center where Optimus was trying to catch up with the work he'd been neglecting. Blitz blurted one sentence before sprinting back the way he'd come - rekindling the chaos he'd struck with his first passage.

"They can't wake Rodi!" It was a hastily shouted sentence almost incomprehensible but it was enough to bring Optimus and Kup racing after him nonetheless. They had the advantage of FAST ground vehicle modes and he cursed as they passed him. He wished tanks were faster or that he dared to try to fly indoors. At least the humans weren't just cursing at him this time.

Elita was already in the ward when Optimus and Kup rolled to a screeching halt outside. They transformed and stepped inside - their clamorous arrival largely ignored by a medical staff that put up with Autobot intrusion on a regular basis. They ignored Blitz too when he finally caught up. Most of the medics were scurrying around Lancer, trying to quell a rapidly spiking fever. Two others were trying to discover why the strange red-head wouldn't wake up. They had no explanation for his condition.

Optimus and the others took a cue from Elita and flattened themselves against the wall - trying to keep out of the way. Only when the doctors decided to move Rodi to another ward did Optimus interfere.

"They stay together," he said in a tone that killed any possible thoughts of objection. Dr. Winston scowled but didn't challenge the order. The humans finished their work on Lancer and assigned nurses to check on her at ten minute intervals. Rodimus was checked and rechecked until Optimus ordered them to leave him alone.

This time Dr. Winston did protest but Optimus told him there was nothing they could do.

"How do you know that?" Dr. Winston said angrily. "Is there something you aren't telling me or are you just being presumptuous?!"

Blitzwing gasped at the little human's audacity. Among his people addressing a superior that way was usually fatal. Optimus on the contrary seemed somewhat pleased.

"I'm not being presumptuous Doctor. I know very little about human medicine and am very aware of that fact. You are right - there is something I'm not telling you. I'm glad you are so determined to help that young man but I'm afraid you can't. Concentrate on your other patient; that's the best you can do for him."

The doctor stared at Prime measuringly and demanded more information. Optimus didn't enlighten him and the man was clearly frustrated. Finally however, he was forced to return to Lancer's rampaging fever. Her body was trying to fight off the infection caused by the spear. The fact that she'd killed off a good number of her own cells frying the area didn't help either. They would be fortunate to avoid gangrene. Her fever rose every time the drugs they used to control it began to wear off. Lancer's face gleamed with sweat, and seemed to fade into the white pillows. She moaned unintelligibly and thrashed weakly.

"We have got to keep her still. She's wearing down fast enough with this fever and all that struggling is making it worse,. Maybe we took her off the barbiturates too soon," one of the junior doctors stated.

This sparked a discussion of their alternatives. One argued for further sedation but the others felt she'd been over-drugged already, especially since she didn't have a brain injury. Restraints could injure her further if she really got out of hand. Finally, they opted for restraints.

The results were nearly as instantaneous as they were catastrophic. Lancer's eyes opened pupiless; the light blinding and driving the medical staff back. She roared like an animal and writhed. There was a brief, white-hot flare. The bindings, her hospital gown, bandages, and the surrounding sheets fell as so much ash. That was apparently the limits of her energy reserves for she collapsed as violently as she'd roused. The ashes rose in a cloud around her body when she fell back onto the bed. There was a slight depression outlining her form where her power had damaged the mattress. The bed-frame was untouched. Everyone stared for several seconds as if waiting for her to spring up again. Then chaos erupted. Some ran to help the patient. Others just ran.

In the turmoil everyone forgot Rodimus.

Dr. Winston was the first back at Lancer's side. He was quickly re-bandaging her bloody arm until it could be refitted with a new series of splints. Optimus caught a glimpse of her swollen, purple shoulder and had to look away. The wound was gaping where the blast had disintegrated the external stitches. What he saw when he turned was so incomprehensible to Optimus that it took a long moment for him to register and act on it.

Rodimus was on his feet. He smiled...but somehow his face was still a seething mask of hatred. He had a scalpel from the medical cart and stalked the doctor from behind. Concentrating solely on his patient the doctor didn't see Rodimus coming. It wasn't until the Rodimus actually moved to slit the man's throat that Optimus came out of his shock and moved.

Thinking only to stop him, Optimus simply grabbed, and felt the slight pressure of the blade glancing off his impervious fingers. Optimus felt Rodimus squirm in his hand - still trying to reach the shocked surgeon. Optimus didn't know what was more unnerving, Rodi's implacable struggling or the silence with which he carried it out. Anyone with such a look of total madness should at least be screaming or something. Optimus turned his writhing partner around to force optic/eye contact.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Optimus roared. He felt sick fear turn to relief as Rodi's expression went from crazed, to perplexed, to aghast. The gleaming scalpel fell to the floor with a faint tink. Rodi's face was pale and slick with sweat.

"I don't know," he finally gasped, "I thought I was back...it seemed so real...I don't feel very well." His body sagged like a doll in Optimus' hand. "Tired...," he mumbled, "...tired."

"...tired...tired." Lancer echoed, her new gown was already soaked and sticking to her body.

Dr. Winston looked from his patient to his would-be murderer and back again. He gave Optimus a measuring stare, and pushed his thin wire spectacles up his sweaty nose. "Let me guess, if we lose her, we might lose them both," he said grimly.

Optimus decided silence was his best response.

"Marvelous," the human said with a resigned sigh, "I adore high-stakes cases. Two for the price of one! As if this wasn't already difficult enough! Mutants! Telepaths! Damn it all!" He continued grumbling and complaining but seemed to work all the harder for it. He bullied and guilted his frightened personnel back to their posts. Optimus smiled in spite of it all as he returned his semi-comatose partner to bed. It was always gratifying to find dedicated personnel. He made a point to commend the man's efforts - however they turned out.

Then he turned to deal with settling down a panicked Blitzwing, and a raging Kup...again.

Continued in Part C

Rodimus slipped in and out of fever haze.

At least there was no more reason to restrain Lancer. Someone must have gone to badger Kain, because shortly after Lancer's violent seizure, the seven-foot tall reptilian telepath made his first appearance in Lancer's ward. Rodimus was so surprised Kain had even stirred from his quarters, that Rodi thought he might actually be hallucinating again. Kain loathed most humans and Rodimus had no reason to expect he cared that much for Autobots either. Kain tolerated the humans on the Maelstrom because his very liberal (for a Drazi) sibling insisted on it and he owed Pagan a life-debt. She had twisted his fins to help Lancer when she'd been possessed and Rodimus suspected more fin twisting had taken place on Maelstrom recently.

The Drazian telepath paid no attention at all to the shrieking nurse. He simply walked in unannounced - 700 pounds of scale and muscle, 200 pounds of ceremonial armor made out of his ancestors' bones and skin, and the sweet, tooth-laden visage of nauseous crocodile. (The poor nurse was on edge anyway, and after Kain's visit had needed sedatives and a leave-of-absence. Kain didn't so much as glanced at her, but his scaly, ferocious expression was enough to send her running down the halls.) There was nothing said. There were no flamboyant gestures. Kain merely entered, put a hand on Lancer's forehead, stared at her for a moment, gave dazed Rodi a measuring stare, and left - all in silence. Nevertheless through all the hallucinations and nightmares that would follow, Lancer would be still. Rodimus was grateful - when he was coherent enough to be. Too bad Kain couldn't keep her body from fighting the implants or cure the massive infection from her wound just as easily.

Visitors came and went. Rodi supposed he even talked to some of them. He wondered if what he said made as little sense to them as what they said did to him. Often, he dreamed. He dreamed weird things. Dreamed Goldbug forgave him, but only once. Dreamed that it was Unicron that possessed Lancer and that he'd stepped in with the Matrix in time to save her. Dreamed about their time alone together and was happy...briefly. Dreamed a lot of unfeasible plans. Dreamed a lot more feasible nightmares.

Tired. Tired. Tired. He'd never been so tired. He faded in and out and always awoke more tired. It didn't seem possible to live in this condition - surely his heart would just stop at any moment. Each beat in his chest seemed...half-hearted...ha ha. He thought Carly brought the baby in once in a while but he wasn't certain.

Voices rose and ebbed around his consciousness. Well, that was fine. They made sort of a pleasant backdrop to his thoughts. He tried, once or twice, to pull himself up out of the delirium. Useless. He couldn't even lift his head. Some nice person put a cool cloth on his brow and water in his mouth. He tried to thank them but was uncertain if he succeeded.

Then the arguing started. Someone called his name but he was too spent to answer. Didn't they realize a person needs to rest now and then? The same voice (?who's?) began scolding someone else in a gravely whisper.

"He's dying. I told you it was insane to let him go human! That circuit-twisting parasite is destroying him and you encouraged it!"

"The link between them was active anyway Kup. It doesn't matter if he's human or not...except that it made him happy to hold his daughter and hold Lancer's hand." Elita's voice. Calm. Implacable.

"Both the link and the offspring are a perversion of his programmed function. Vector Sigma holds jurisdiction! The anomaly must be corrected!" Kup – stilted, mechanical.

"Vector Sigma? Vector Sigma's not the one who spent a year bringing him home to us!" Elita - indignant.

"You make it sound deliberate! Kup, she's dying too! You can't blame her for this! She's the one that wanted to break the link!" Optimus – incredulous...angry.

"That's a load of scrap! She started it! She could end it whenever she liked! Open your glitch riddled optics! She's no better than Swindle!" Kup again. Angry this time.

"I suppose that hole in her body is part of the act?" Optimus - sarcastic.

"So? The slut got hurt. That doesn't change the fact that she's manipulating him and had that little piece of slag to make sure she had control." It took Rodimus a few minutes to figure out what the "little piece of slag" was.

"Take it outside you idiots!" New voice. Furious. "I'm having enough trouble keeping my patients quiet and stable without a lot of ridiculous bickering at their bedsides!"

The damage was done, however. Rodimus simply could not tolerate another conflict. He recoiled from Kup's scathing accusations and let himself slide gently into the silence of Lancer's coma. As far as he was concerned the fighting was over.

*

Later when it was finally finished, Lancer and Rodimus would learn that it was Claudia who told Shellshock of their worsening state. The doctors simply could not reverse the slow, steady weakening of their vitals. It was attributed to fever and exhaustion. Claudia walked into the ward, laid a downy, three-fingered hand on both of them and pronounced it resignation. Lancer didn't want to live and Rodimus was no longer fighting.

Claudia fixed one of her strange, penetrating eyes on Kup and said, "Rodimus has had enough of fighting." Kup winced, but said nothing. He just turned his back. Claudia left and sought out Shellshock. The former Autobot was surprised to find her at his door knowing his mangled psyche made her uncomfortable.

"If you wish to see him do it now. He has let go of life," Claudia said simply. There was no need to say who "he" was.

*

Kup and Optimus were at it again in the hall late that evening when a strange human male walked past them and into Lancer's room. At nearly eight feet tall, he drew gasps from humans as he strode through Central as if he owned it. Passing the feet of the bickering command staff, the man walked by them without asking permission or even acknowledging them. For an instant, Optimus thought a Convert was infiltrating the ward. Talon however, merely nodded to the man from Lancer's bedside. (Talon had been telling the comatose woman a series of lewd, ludicrous stories for several hours in hopes of "getting a rise out of her")

The stranger did not approach Lancer however. He stood at Rodimus' side, solemnly staring for several minutes. Rodi's face had taken on a sort of porcelain flawlessness. He looked peaceful, innocent, and very young. He also looked dead. The golden stranger studied that pale, still face with no readable expression on his own.

"So," he finally said in a fluid, rumbling baritone. "It has come to this. You endured everything they did to us. It drove you mad but you kept fighting. You pick now to quit." The blonde man's brow furrowed and Optimus, staring from the doorway, noticed the faint golden sheen to his robust skin. The man ignored him completely and kept talking to Rodimus. "You can't do this Rodimus. You have the Autobots to lead, the Jabez to destroy, and a...a family. I have nothing but revenge, and if I have to live then so do you!" The man's voice barely rose above a whisper although it was so quiet in the ward everyone present could hear him.

It was beginning to dawn on Optimus as to who this man really was, but nothing prepared him for his effect on Rodimus. The young Prime's face changed even before he opened his too-old eyes. As Rodi's mind regained awareness of his burdens they manifested on his features. By the time he opened his eyes Optimus wondered how he could ever have thought it looked young. It still looked dead though, ghostly.

Rodi's blue-green eyes met the gold and copper eyes of the man above him. Rodi's pale, hot hand reached weakly to touch the cool, gleaming skin of the stranger's.

"I won't fail you again G...Shellshock," he whispered.

Talon, still sitting by Lancer's side, arched an eyebrow and nodded to himself. Optimus and Kup crowded the doorway, stunned beyond speech and their anger at each other.

"Shellshock," Rodimus continued, " I'm...I'm so..."

Shellshock cut him off roughly. "It's over. There was nothing you could do. Let it go."

Rodimus stared at him in mute sorrow but Shellshock's face was cold and set. His eyes showed no emotion although his hands shook slightly. Abruptly he turned away from Rodimus and left the room. He stormed through Kup's legs as he did so and both Kup and Prime stared after him as he headed towards the Maelstrom's sub-ship.

"Rodimus?" Optimus turned towards his shaken partner. He hoped he was wrong. "That can't be Goldbug!"

Rodimus fell back onto his pillows. Obviously the effort to raise himself off them even a little had taken its toll. The look he threw Optimus held nothing of weakness however. That silent glare forced the truth onto Optimus' unwilling mind. That bitter man was what was left of Bumblebee.

Days later, Lancer drifted. While still unconscious, she was now successfully fighting the infection and getting stronger. Sounds, voices, and feedback from Rodimus began to make their impression on her dreams. Rodimus was thankful for even the uncomfortable things he was getting from her. It made him feel much less...severed, and much less likely to fall into flashbacks or psychosis. He did the best he could to keep her calm during her sleep but this time he was taken along for the ride.

The dream began pleasantly enough. She sensed Rodimus near her - heard the echoes of his love and concern. Still, she sensed him the most through her strongest telepathic channels. The same channels the "demon" had exploited. Old fears returned to haunt her - with vengeance.

Lancer dreamed.

I am chained to a wall. There are bonds circling my arms above and below the elbow, and my legs at the thigh and ankle. They are a cold, clear blue. This is same cruel lab where Rodimus and Goldbug were held.

The shackles are unnecessary. I'm paralyzed. I can't even scream as I feel powerful, moist hands all over my naked body. Their fingers feel like a blanket of squid. I can't see how many Jabez there are, I can just feel those hands probing me...violating me.

Suddenly the hands are gone. Only one Jabez remains, silhouetted against the searing light. A fine, long scalpel glints in his fingers.

Slowly, deliberately, he slices me open from throat to groin. There is no blood, just pain and a thin line like a paper-cut. Ah, Jabez. They always draw pain with such beautiful precision. No wonder Rodimus grew obsessed with it. The alien makes a horizontal cut across my belly. I can't scream. There is still no blood, but I know it's really deep.

Using his hands like wedges, he splits the vertical cut at the intersection. Then, grasping each of the four corners with a hand segment, he peels them back. There is a miserable tearing sound as he pulls laboriously at my flesh - making a diamond shaped hole in my midriff and exposing muscle and entrails. I still can't scream.

I can see my guts convulsing with a life of their own. I feel them being pushed and grasped from within. Something wants out. Badly. The Jabez almost seems to smile and plunges both hands into my intestines. I feel his fingers wiggling through my innards...groping, searching. Finally, he begins to pull something free.

Like an obscene C-section, he draws forth a copy of myself from my twisting organs. The demon. My corrupt core. She horrifies me...all the more because she looks normal. No horns. No fangs. No evidence of her corruption at all. She smiles sweetly at the Jabez as he helps her step clear of my body cavity, for all the world like a man helping an elegant lady from a carriage. Too bad she's covered with blood and slime. The Jabez escorts her across the room and there is Rodi. I still can't scream.

He is as he was when I first saw him. Nude, hung on a wall in shackles. Blood everywhere. It isn't until the demon reaches for his face that I notice one major difference in his wounds. He is blind. His eyes are missing. I still can't scream.

The demon reaches out with her slimy hand to touch and taste his blood. She mingles the filth on her body with his blood, rubbing it into his wounds. As she does they close, trapping the corruption within his skin. The demon croons soothing things to him as she works. My mute warnings and pleading go unheeded. He can't hear me. He can't see her for what she is. He welcomes her attention. Finally, as I fight for the slightest ability to move or speak, she sticks her tongue into each of his eye sockets in turn. His eyes are restored, but not as they should be. They are blazing with the same infectious evil as the demon's.

I weep, silent, beyond the desire to scream.

They two of them find and embrace Edana. My child grows up before my eyes into a horror like the obscene parents beside her. My corruption. My fault.

The next few moments are so confused I can't make any sense of them. All I'm sure of is that the three of them cut such a swath of blood, mayhem, and death that the blood rises past my ankles. Rodimus takes care of the Autobots personally. The blood passes my waist. They find our allies, the families of our friends, my parents. The blood reaches my chin.

My shackles have vanished. So has everything else - aside from the blood I've caused. It doesn't matter that my hands are free. The slimy clots that coat my body are enough to hold me down. I can't touch bottom, and the plasma is so thick I can't raise my limbs to swim. The blood has become an ocean so there's no where to swim anyway. Why do I bother to struggle? Why don't I just give up? Everything I love has been destroyed and I'm so hot. So tired. This must be Hell. I have no hope and no reason to hope.

Something stubborn within me won't quite quit though and I thrash the best I can.

I'm tired. The goop is like liquid lead, heavy and hot. I'm sinking, choking, drowning. Just as the red mire closes over my face, a powerful hand grabs mine as I reach up. It pulls, and another joins it. I try to reach up with my other hand, and suddenly see my salvation.

"Rodimus?!" I can hardly call his name. I'm coughing up too much blood.

"HOLD ON! Lancer! You have to!"

He is perched on a crumbling bit of rock-hardly even a boulder. Every time he tries to lift me, it cracks more.

"I'll pull you in! Let me go!"

"Help me or you will pull me in! I'm not letting you go!" His wild, stubborn eyes meet mine and I know he means exactly what he says. Damn him.

The blood stretches around my limbs like liquid elastic. It pulls me down and deprives me of traction and leverage.

"Let me go! It's no use!" I HAVE to convince him! He's the only one who can stop the bloodshed! This time he doesn't bother to answer. His grip is so strong it hurts.

The suction pulls me down, he strains to pull me up, the rock cracks under him. I desperately try to keep from dragging him in with me. I feel a snap! Is it him pulling me up or has the corruption taken us both? The instant stretches maddeningly. Up? Down? Then...I wake up.

Lancer shuddered in the darkness, partly from the dream, partly from the fever, although she didn't realize she was sick. Drugged and hazy, she mistook the darkened ward for the cave she and Rodimus had used for so long when they were marooned. She smiled at his messy hair as he stirred beside her. She smiled wider at his startled gaze.

"You're awake!"

Lancer smiled again. He seemed so amazed. The smile faded. "I was having the strangest dreams," she said unhappily. She felt the familiar brush of his mind against hers. She felt his concern and a sudden realization which he immediately shielded from her. She thought about asking what was wrong but he beat her to it.

"What did you dream?"

"I don't really remember. Something about the Jabez and the demon. You were there to save me though."

"I'll always be there to save you, Lady."

She laughed weakly. "You really are a professional bull-shitter. If I get you home...then you won't have to worry about me anymore." He didn't answer her but he looked and felt so terribly sad.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, " I don't want to hurt you."

"I know," he said finally. He seemed reluctant to touch her and looked distracted. She touched his face, and was a little startled by how he leaned into her caress.

"What's wrong with you?" She was starting to get worried.

"I've..I'll just..miss you. More than you imagine."

She didn't know how to answer him. It was more than words, it was the anguish she sensed in him. Raw, open pain.

"I've done you nothing but harm," she said, pulling away from him. The shuddering returned.

"NO! Lancer! Please don't think that way! Please don't!"

"Why not?" Lancer felt truly sick. "It's true! Not even the Jabez hurt you that much and I can't do anything about it." She began sobbing weakly, wondering vaguely as she did so why her left side hurt.

"It's worth it," he said. His eyes weren't on her though. He was looking beyond her.

"You can't mean that! You can't possibly mean that!" What was he looking at? She started to turn around when he quickly leaned forward and kissed her firmly and passionately. He sent such raw, unbridled emotion into her she was completely overwhelmed. She sensed his love and conviction. He really did think it was worth it. Even when she thought to draw back to stare at him he held her to him, extending the kiss. She got more from his mind...fear, longing, desire, intense loneliness, and exhaustion. Confused, she looked deeper, and sensed a calculated attempt to distract her.

From what? She felt so dazed. Then she realized she was dazed. Trying to focus, she found it impossible. What was he hiding? She felt so weak. Was she ill? She broke the kiss, trying to sit up and found that impossible too.

"I love you," Rodimus said. It sounded like the first (or the last) time. There were tears (tears!) in his eyes. She gaped up at him. What in the hell was he wearing? This wasn't their cave! Her shoulder HURT! She struggled to put it all together but it unraveled as she fell, still fighting, to sleep.

*

"She's going to be fine, son," Dr. Winston said, putting down the syringe, and readjusting her IV. "Excellent job distracting her by the way. This sedative should see her through the last of that fever."

Rodimus just looked at him mutely as if he didn't understand what the man was referring to.

"Yeah," Rodimus finally whispered to himself, "and then she'll be gone...and she'll take Edana with her."

*

The next day, Magnus and Malice were on guard duty again.

Rodimus felt strong enough to tend to Edana himself. It blew Carly's mind a little bit that he knew precisely what to do.

Rodimus smiled sadly. "Link memories Carly – not my skills. Once upon a time before Lancer was an energy-shaping assassin, she was a broke teenager who earned money baby-sitting. Besides, it's not like I didn't get in your way enough when Danny was little to figure it out."

Carly kissed him on the cheek, "You weren't in the way. You were curious and you were cute. You always took good care of him, and you're doing fine with her. You're going to be a great dad."

"I'm not going to be any sort of dad," he muttered under his breath. "I'm just making the most of this while it lasts."

"We won't let her do that to you," Malice promised.

By noon Lancer had achieved normal sleep. Rodimus paced and fretted. He finally felt physically well, but was too worried to appreciate it.

Shortly, Pagan, Talon, and Jordan came in.

"Claudia says she will waken very soon," Jordan intoned quietly.

"Yeah...she will," Rodi agreed.

"Good," said Pagan, "we are here to outnumber her reservations."

"Thanks," Rodimus said, "but you didn't bring enough people."

They laughed at him and Talon stole the baby. "This kid's got cooler shades than anybody has a right to," the man observed jealously. "She gonna break hearts too."

"Only if Lancer trains her well," Pagan said. "Breaking a heart takes precise aim and power."

"It's an expression Pagan. It means she's beautiful."

"*TK* If something is beautiful why not just say so? Humans. You never say what you mean. No wonder you don't get along with each other," Pagan observed haughtily.

Talon rolled his eyes at Rodi, "Can you explain it to her?"

Um...I'm not human either."

"Hmmph," Talon grunted.

Elita and Optimus walked up to the door and knocked politely. They seemed surprised at all the company.

"Sure, come on in," Rodi said. "Maybe we should make this an official party...or charge for tickets."

"This room can't hold anyone else," Magnus noted.

"Yeah, but the more people there are the less likely she is to kill me outright," Rodimus observed; only half-kidding. "Either that or fight her way out of here like she did last time."

Pagan clacked at him. "You are forgetting your hatchling. Lancer was willing to bring her to meet you, so she was obviously willing to see you herself. Just turn your foe's strength against itself. She does not want to hurt you. Make that work for you! Prove to her that leaving will hurt more than staying. She will stay. Maybe it will give you the time you need to truly heal her. There. It is all very simple, silly male."

"Perhaps," said Rodimus. "But this is the woman tried knocking me off tightropes, beat me up, and went at me with blades and lightning bolts. Once she even threw me into a pond and let me sink when I was unconscious just to see if I was really out. I don't think she's all that worried about hurting me."

"Did she let you drown?" Pagan asked.

"No...not exactly," Rodimus conceded.

"Well, then what are you complaining about? If she wanted you dead, you would be dead silly male. Instead, she let you mate with her and gave you young," Pagan's smirk wrapped back past her ear flaps.

Rodimus laughed wanly. "Well since you put it that way," he mused.

Pagan gave him a smile full of short, sharp teeth. "I meant what I said about helping you. We love her too. She has been alone too long. It is good to be mated. Perhaps there will be healing soon of hurts deeper than meat."

"She has some good points," Optimus said.

"I hope so," Rodimus said.

"Um...did Lancer really throw you in a pond like that?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Oh hell no!"

The Maelstrom crew laughed, although Optimus just sighed.

Lancer stirred and his face lost any trace of humor. "It's show time," he said, moving to sit on her bedside. There would be no drugged confusion today.

Lancer felt the pain in her shoulder first. She remembered the fight, the spear, what she'd been holding.

"EDANA!" Lancer roared -fully awake, fully demonic - as she exploded up, ready to spring. Her motion pulled on wires, tubes, and knocked over an IV stand. Jordan caught it, and an arm came across her chest to block her gently.

"Jordan!" Lancer cried, smiling. She was happy to see him. She was especially happy to see him without a weapon in his hands. "Pagan! Talon?!" The explosives expert was the most welcome sight of all – because he was holding her daughter. The sunglasses didn't even register. Breathing, un-captured, unharmed, and smiling registered.

Why were they just standing there smirking at her? She moved to get to Edana and registered the pain down her left side...and the arm holding her back. Looking down at it, recognizing it, her face lost any trace of relief or happiness.

She turned slowly. What she saw instead paralyzed her in terror like she'd never known.

Rodimus smiled and shrugged at her.

"So I take it that last mission of yours didn't go quite like you planned," he quipped.

"YOU!" she growled. "What the fuck have you done to yourself?!" Her hand lashed out and grabbed Rodimus by the throat. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" she roared.

Rodimus didn't struggle. He just stared at her. She wasn't really choking him and he could feel her hand trembling. "It will be easier to talk to you when I can breath," he managed to croak. She continued to stare at him, petrified and enraged, but finally her hand dropped away from his neck. She used it to clutch her wounded shoulder instead.

Damn you!" she shrieked. "I should have killed you when I had the chance!" She grabbed the wires and tubes on her right arm with her teeth and pulled. At least the annoying heart monitor stopped beeping at a thousand beats a minute. Coming up on her toes in a half crouch on the bed, she pulled her mate's body down until his torso was bent back over the bed. She cocked her clawed hand over his throat like a guillotine. Her tail whipped violently.

Talon made a move towards her but Pagan held him back. The raw power of the Drazi's grip always awed the big man. Just her firm hand on his shoulder reminded him of the men he'd seen her tear in two like tissue. She threw the Autobots a stern glance and saw they had sense enough to stay quiet. Interference now would be worse than useless.

Rodimus didn't move other than to raise his chin defiantly and smile. His eyes blazed cold green and he didn't flinch from Lancer's glowing stare. He matched her rage for rage.

Speaking with all the bitterness and fury in his soul he whispered, " Yes, Lancer. You should have killed me." His voice was like a whip of ice, blaming her for all the suffering which could have been cleanly ended. All her fault, his pain; she'd forced him to live, forced him to start caring again. In those same, frozen, evil tones he challenged her, pressing forward until he was inches from her bared fangs, and his throat was bleeding against her fingers. "Why not do it now? Come on lover...you know I'd like that."

"Shut up Three!" Lancer snarled.

"Three?" Optimus asked. Magnus smacked himself in the face.

"Why? If my choices are dying by inches or letting you have a go, I'd rather it was you. Make it fast Love...or don't! Whichever turns you on." Rodimus grinned, and it seemed like he had as many fangs as she did.

"Dying by inches?" she asked, ignoring the grin and the demon-baiting.

"You know it's true. The wall was bleeding us both dry. So really Lancer. If you plan to keep this up, I really would rather you just drop me," Rodimus said, although his eyes softened and he lost the grin.

Lancer stared down at him and was suddenly exhausted. She withdrew her hand and fell back onto the pillows, knees curled up as far as they could go with the bindings holding her left arm to her body in the way. Rodimus sat up slowly and slid closer to her. He wiped the blood from his neck as he did.

Lancer shuddered. "Even assuming that's true, why are you back in human form? After everything we went through to get you home, why would you risk that?!"

Rodimus reached for her and she jerked away, gritting her teeth as the motion hurt her more. Rodi withdrew his hands and waited. "Why?" she finally grated again.

"That's why," he said, nodding at her shoulder, "that and the baby."

It was a moment of profound shock for Lancer.

He knew.

After over a year of agonizing separation, after fighting to keep the knowledge of their child from seeping into his mind, after long months of weighing his right to know against the safety of the baby and her fear for his soul, he finally knew. Irrational terrors born on too many lonely nights paraded through her thoughts. Fear that he'd hate her and by extension the baby surged through her, and she fell back against the pillows. Her body shuddered. She didn't think his love was healthy but she was absolutely terrified of his hatred.

She wasn't concentrating on blocking these feelings so Rodimus knew immediately what she was thinking and was hurt by it.

He locked eyes with her and said, "How could you think that of me? Do you really think I could hate her? Or you? Even if I am REALLY pissed at you."

Lancer growled at him, and decided to escape. She moved to get off the bed and a room full of voices protested. Her so-called friends. Optimus Prime with his optics wide and flashing. Ultra-Magnus standing nervously by the exit - guarding the door. Some pink femme Lancer didn't know held Optimus' arm...wait. Elita. No one else would stand that close to Optimus.

"Really? Did you want anyone else here for this?" she snarled.

"Sure, but Metroplex wouldn't fit," Rodimus said completely straight faced. "But if you want more privacy we could take this conversation ...elsewhere."

"No! NO!" she shouted, flinching away from his touch. "Rodimus leave me alone! Get away from me!"

Pagan gave a disgusted *TK* but Lancer was oblivious.

Rodimus dropped his hands again, and turned away. "I'll go if you make me. I'll never come back here. Once you heal you can leave, and we can start this whole insane separation all over again...and we can die in the attempt."

She bared her teeth.

"This is stupid! Come on... talk to me," Rodimus insisted.

Lancer's head dropped and her eyes pulsed but he saw her look around at all the others who were listening. The gesture she made was somehow part shrug, part disgusted head shake, and part nod all at once.

Rodimus' mouth turned up on one end. "If you will all please excuse us for a second..." He took his mate by the chin and got her to meet his eyes.

The hospital ward fell away and he found her in the mental space they shared. They faced each other, the robot and the mutant, on either side of the division they had built, rather like two children with a "stay on your side!" line drawn down the middle of a room.

It was like standing on a flat plain with a fault line running down the length of it. Some sections were clearly hers...some his...and some kind of jig-sawed erratically. Some places were so fused even the fault line was invisible. The wall they had built between them lay like rubble at their feet.

Hey lady...it's good to see you, Rodimus sent. She got more than that – how worried he'd been when things started dragging on, how he'd missed her.

Wrong! It's wrong to be here, she returned. None of her fears about corrupting him were any less, but she was also guilty about the pain her attempts to free him had caused. Guilty things hadn't gone like she expected. She had counted on distance and time to tear them apart instead of into them.

The situation has changed...we need to try something else. Very matter-of-fact this statement, although it was coupled with his intense desire to just drop the whole thing and try nothing at all expect being with her. He wouldn't disregard her wishes, but he made his own quite clear.

Are you sure we were getting as sick as they say?

He sent her memories of his friends shaking him awake and insisting he was ill. They'd shown him security footage...they'd moved him from one room to another. He'd half brain-washed himself into not believing them just to honor her boundaries. He topped it off with how unstable he was getting at the end.

You could have told me! I'm not THAT unreasonable... she tried.

He sent her an image of a huge, stinking pile of bullshit...which he then upped to tusker shit.

OK...fine. Sorry, she said. Sorry...sorry...the thought echoed across to him. Hurting him was never what she'd wanted, even though she knew it all did.

It's not working. We built this wall but nothing has really changed. We're still...stuck here. Look at us! We put a wall on the surface and all the foundation is just as locked as it ever was! Tired of fighting it! Too much else to do...too much else to fight! I want you on my side...I want you BY my side. You understand like no one else...

His frustration with the wall was one thing, but she also felt the strain of his workload dealing with running a world and hunting slavers. She sensed annoyance with his team and his partner too...that sometimes he felt he just wasn't getting what needed to happen through to them. He remembered how exasperated she'd been trying to get him to stop pulling his punches...he felt getting Optimus to take things like human-scale security and his flashbacks seriously was going about as well. Plus there were no secrets left between them...she knew him at his darkest core and was neither afraid nor deluded about it. She saw him for what he was – good and otherwise. They like Hot Rod better than me. Otherwise they wouldn't keep trying to resurrect him.

She threw his shit-pile image right back at him. You give your people a a dog-and-pony show to fool them and then you bitch when they are fooled.

You were never fooled. Please come home! Home was here...this mental space...with him.

This time she built him an utterly sarcastic vision of the two of them setting up a life in a nice suburban neighborhood. Cute little house...nice white fence...Converts across the street... Decepticons next store... Jabez street cops keeping the peace. The vision ended with blood and fire.

Well, we've already got one of the 2.5 kids, so it's a start, he sent. Nothing...not one thing in his mind but happiness and amazement about their daughter, except for the fear she would be taken from him.

Sorry! Sorry for hiding her! It came to him at the same time as, She can't stay here! She'll never be safe. Images of Malice's brain-damaged son assaulted him. It didn't get better when her fears Edana would be a target summoned Rodi's memory of her mutancy scans.

Edana's a Class One...our daughter is a Class fucking One EMPATH? The pyrokinesis I can deal with... Lancer thought in panic.

Rodimus interrupted with Oh good because the thought of it terrifies me.

But an empath?! With all the shit that goes down in my head...and yours for that matter, and THIS is the power she develops as a baby? Holy shit! This poor kid!

Does the fact that you're worried about exposing her to me mean you're going to allow her to be exposed to me? Rodimus asked hopefully. She got flashes of his first encounters with Edana and knew him to be infatuated.

Puppy-dog eyes? How do you do MENTAL puppy-dog eyes? Lancer wanted to know.

Well, you start by being adorable and then...

You are an ass.

Lancer! I don't expect we will have a normal life! The concept of "normal" made them both laugh. I just want to be part of yours...part of hers.

Look...I'm not going to deny we were getting sick. No surprise, but we are not the people to fix this. Maybe Kain or Claudia have some advise...

Claudia says no way, no how, and Kain, who despises me too by the way, says our bond is sacred or something...and also unbreakable without killing us. He seemed more worried about breaking the sacred thing than leaving us dead, so I believe him. We're stuck with each other Love. Rodimus made sure she knew he was good with that.

She made sure he knew she wasn't. Kain thinks his smelly bathwater and hairy earwax candles are sacred too, Lancer reminded him. We'll work on it. I'll find a way to free your mind before it's too late.

It was like a stab in the gut for him to think about it, something he felt compelled to share. He also flooded her with memories of their brief, unfettered honeymoon period on Asylum. My mind is more stable WITH you. Less flashbacks...fewer nightmares...yours too. Both of us are stronger. We are both less likely to go nuts without this slag.

And if you're wrong? I'm not going to stop trying! This mind thing has got to go! Sooner or later my tiny human life-span will end us if nothing else and I'm NOT taking you with me! You can forget your "get out of work early" pass right there Mr. Death-wish. Lancer's mental tone was stern.

Really? A pass? Optimus DID die and he still didn't get out of this job. That's not why I want you around, Love. I'm not going to stop you from looking for a way out. If it makes you feel better I'll even help in all my spare time, but can we call a truce in the mean time? Can we...keep the rest of it? I know you can't live here, but maybe sometimes...for a few hours...I could see you...see her?

It made her sad to realize he thought that was a lot to ask.

Those watching had an interesting, if confusing, time watching this play out. It went a lot quicker for them than it seemed to for Rodi and Lancer. Trying to read the expressions on their faces wasn't much help as all of them were both subtle and fleeting. Still, it was clear there was an intense argument going on.

The outcome was pretty apparent when Rodi's hand on her chin pulled her in for a long, indecent kiss. When he came up for air, he looked extraordinarily pleased with himself.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance," Lancer sighed, still only half-kidding.

"Probably," he agreed.

"Edana?" Lancer pulled up from Rodi's embrace. Lancer moved to get up for her daughter and flinched at the sounds of protest from every side. She blinked, suddenly reminded there was a roomful of witnesses. A trio of shaken Autobots, Pagan who was also looking too smug for Lancer's comfort, unreadable Jordan, and a slightly sweaty Talon who was holding her daughter. Malice looking moony and somewhat weepy. She hated to think about what they'd just seen.

Can't deny me my back-up, Lady-assassin. Rodimus sent at her with a mental smirk.

The baby had gone from a full blown wail to a relaxed gurgle in the space of a few seconds. Talon was mystified. He also wondered why Jordan had seemed more interested in the baby than her parent's little skirmish. Now Jordan seemed to nod to himself as Edana began happily trying to eat her own hand.

Lancer went to get up for her again but was stopped by Rodi's gentle grasp on her right arm. She can be brought to you, he sent.

"SPEAK! And there's nothing wrong with my legs," she answered testily aloud. Talon rolled his eyes, and brought the baby over. He handed Edana to Rodimus who let Lancer inspect her. He sighed sadly when the inspection included a white-eyed scan for Conversion chips. When she was satisfied the baby was fine Lancer sat back and just looked at the two of them.

"What?" he smiled. She had the oddest expression on her face.

"I...I never thought I'd see you with her," she said. She still wasn't quite ready to confront the sunglasses. They spent several moments just staring at each other.

Talon snickered.. "We'd better get out of here before these two start settin' up house in a parkin' garage. 'Sides, I need a beer. C'mon Jordan, you too Malice." He smacked Rodimus on the back on the way out. "Nice job bluffing 'er out that way. You've got some stones, Red."

Rodimus smiled, but shook his head. Bluffs only work when your adversary can't read your mind. He felt Optimus' optics boring him in the back and knew his partner was in a wee bit of a state.

"It's my turn to watch," Pagan said. She turned one of the visitors' chairs around, sat, and busied herself grinding her own shed scales into powder for Kain.

"Watch?" Lancer said. "Pagan...we can't stay here. We're sitting targets. You can't defend me by yourself. We need to go!"

"I am not defending you by myself," Pagan mused, never looking up from her work, "I have the big blue robot who never smiles here to block the door."

Ultra Magnus had no eyes to roll, but somehow he managed.

Lancer turned on her mate, but it was Edana's face she touched. "Rodimus...get us out of here. Get her out of here at least."

"Love...it's OK. Robert has masked this whole wing with the ship, and I've made changes around here too. It's not done yet, but it's better than you remember." Rodimus assured her. She picked up some of those changes from his mind, even though they had agreed to talk.

"Vector Sigma. You've got Vector Sigma playing watch dog and I'm supposed to relax? The piece of shit that lied to your entire species and used you all for living shields? Why in the hell would I trust that thing? I didn't crash a shuttle on that mud pit planet just to hand our daughter over on a plate by trusting a fucking evil piece of crap!"

"Do you trust me?" Rodimus asked.

"What a stupid question...you know the answer is it totally depends on the moment!"

"Right. OK...don't trust either of us then. Trust the explosives I put under Vector Sigma's crystal. Right now I have it set to go off on it's own if I don't remember to check in and tell it not too. Believe me, Vector Sigma has a vested interest in me having a good day with few distractions."

"Oh..." Lancer said. She paused a minute and then grinned. "That's...that's really mean." Nice to see you getting some work done.

I've been busy... "I knew you'd like it."

"Did we talk about this before you did it?" Optimus asked.

"No," Rodimus answered.

Optimus sighed.

"I still think it would be better if I wasn't here. I can stay on the ship and we can sort this out from there."

Pagan snorted. "Jordan can not tend you silly girl. Your thin skin is too destroyed for his skill set."

"It's not that bad," Lancer said. "I'll just lay low in my quarters. Do I still have quarters?"

*TK* "This ship is the size of a city and there are only 9 cabins in use. One of those is yours Lancer. We had no reason, no time, and no heart to clear them."

"See? I'll go there," Lancer said. "If I need to we can stop somewhere to have the bandages changed."

You have no idea how bad it is do you? Rodimus sent.

"SPEAK...don't make it worse Rodi." Lancer hissed.

Fine. "Fine. I shall embarrass you publicly if you like. Love, you lost all of the bones in that shoulder. They just...sort of exploded when that shaft hit you. You've got artificial ones in there now. You've had three surgeries, blown your stitches out more than once, lost a good bit of muscle and skin to the spear and the lovely burns you gave yourself because you insist of frying everything. You lost more to the infection you got for the same damned reason, blew up 4 sets of monitoring equipment, set a record for exhausting anesthesia options, set a record for exhausting anesthesiologists, and scared off more than half of a crack EDC surgical team. In other words, you aren't going anywhere."

"Oh," Lancer said. "Anything else?"

"Um, yeah, you kicked an orderly so hard in the groin his grandkids will feel it," Rodimus informed her.

"How many people know I'm here?" And you want me to stay? Lancer caught herself. "You seriously want me to stay here?"

Too many, but don't worry about the people who quit. Kain took care of their memories. We didn't even have to twist his tail...his own skin is at stake too...

"We will protect you Lancer," Optimus said gravely.

She looked up at him and met his optics. "Optimus, I know you mean well, but you can't protect us, and the fact you think you can kind of shocks me. I don't know everything you guys have been doing for the last year but I do know we had this conversation before I left. Aren't you paying attention at all?"

I told you...he's in denial. I'm working on it.

"SPEAK DAMN YOU! Don't give me that face...if you want to say something privately wait till all these crazy people go home! Or even better, let me go home and meet me there."

"And you think Op's not paying attention? Which part of 'intensive care' did you miss there Love? Stop arguing about it," Rodimus sighed.

"Of course I'm paying attention," Optimus was muttering. Elita put her hand a little higher on his arm and shook her head. In a way, she knew Lancer's rantings were the result of shock and stress...in another, she knew they were only too clear.

Magnus had his own observations. "Stubborn...argumentative...drama-prone... Yeah, this mind link thing makes no sense at all."

"I heard that Major General..." Lancer said. Then she frowned. "Major...General? That's not right."

"Shared that slag with her already Rodimus?" Magnus griped.

"Nope," Rodimus said. "Love...I don't think this business of only talking to each other is going to work if things like that are leaking already. Even with the wall up we got through to each other. Not just big stuff either. I knew when this kid was born that you were in pain, but I also knew when you were dreaming." Sometimes I knew what you were dreaming too...and you really missed me.

Lancer glared at him and blushed, glad all the humans who might have noticed were out of the room.

"Ah," Elita said. "Is that why your recharge cycles got so erratic? You couldn't both rest at the same time could you? Not without losing the wall."

Lancer arched an eyebrow Elita's way.

"Careful," Rodimus smiled. "Elita doesn't miss much and has a very sensitive bullshit detector built right in."

"That's great," Lancer said. "If you ever get lost she can track you by scent!"

"OO...Direct hit," said Magnus. Elita and Optimus laughed.

"Hey!" Rodimus complained. He glared at Magnus, who didn't exactly smirk, but who didn't exactly fail to smirk either.

Lancer ignored them. "We couldn't do much of anything at all without losing the wall Elita. It doesn't matter. I know I've lost that fight, but we don't have to encourage it Rodimus, and none of this matters if I get nabbed. I'm all of the Maelstrom's secrets and all of yours packaged in a handy gift bag!"

"Robert believes the area is safe enough for now," Pagan said. She inspected her arm and pulled a loose scale off near her elbow. It joined the others she was grinding. "Your mate has even found a way to block my teleportations. I have asked that he NOT share how he did that, but it was an impressive inconvenience to need the drop ship to reach you."

"He did? You did?" Lancer asked. She was, in fact, impressed.

Rodimus smirked a little. "See Edana? Daddy did something right for once...don't forget. You may be grown up before it happens again. Mommy could have known about that already, but she likes to talk things out the hard, slow way."

Lancer punched the arm he wasn't holding their child with.

"Mommy also likes to hit hard," he nodded, glancing towards the door.

"You are an ass," Lancer gritted. She clutched her shoulder again. It did actually hurt a good bit.

"She also likes bad words," Rodimus said, a bit loudly. "But usually that means she loves you."

"Time for a rest Lancer," her doctor informed her.

Lancer yelped as an elderly, bespectacled black man stepped up from behind her line of sight. Her hand flared with energy . She'd had no idea he was even there. Then she realized...Rodimus had been distracting her. She punched him again.

"Love, this is Dr. Winston...he put what's left of you back together. Please don't make him regret it right away. Give it a few days," Rodimus said.

"Young woman," Dr. Winston said firmly, pushing his spectacles up his nose, and pretending like she hadn't just about fried him, "You're moving too much, and we're running about of veins for the I.V.s. I have just the most trying week of my career putting that saving your arm. Kindly respect my efforts and leave it in one piece for a while. You are confined to complete bed-rest until further notice." He softened his last statement with a gentle smile and began firing questions at her about how much she could feel her arm and wiggle her fingers.

While the doctor had Lancer on the ropes, Rodi simply concentrated on his daughter, patiently waiting for Dr. Winston to finish with his mate. He only half-heard the questions, relishing instead the light brush of Lancer's thoughts past his own and the solid weight of the baby.

He was playing with Edana's toes again when the doctor said, "Perversely, I'm glad for your pain Lancer. It shows your major nerves remain intact and that the damage was much less than it should have been."

"I've got heavy-duty nerves," she shrugged. She tried not to look too suspicious when he replaced her I.V. lines but he noticed her eyes tracking his every move. Afraid she might do something drastic if the doctor did something too Jabezish, Rodimus decided to distract her again. This time though, he kissed her.

"Sleep soldier," Doctor Winston ordered.

"Not gonna happen," Lancer snorted, "we've got too much catc... Why are you smirking?" She glared at Rodimus.

He grinned a wall of teeth. "Doc just drugged your I.V. You will be out momentarily!"

"oh," she said, mortified.

"It's OK, you'll feel better soon," Rodimus said. I won't let anything happen either of you...and you know that includes killing you both if I have to. Relax already and let us take care of you for a change. You've been on your own for pretty much two years taking care of me...taking care of her. You aren't alone anymore.

He kissed her again, and as he did, she fell asleep.

Rodimus smiled down at her, Edana still in his arms.

Dr. Winston gave Rodimus an appreciative wink. "That's two I owe you son."

"She's not going to fall for that again," Rodimus sighed. "So I hope this need for enforced rest will be over soon."

"She will just have to scare my medical staff then," Dr. Winston chuckled. "She's not going anywhere for a while. I should thank her for sorting out the less dedicated ones. Working Cybertron's hospital is prestigious, but it's never going to be a safe thing to do."

"Thanks for getting her through...and sticking with it," Rodimus said. "I know it's been... challenging."

The doctor laughed. "I'm an EDC surgeon. Believe me. This is neither the first mutant nor the first warrior I've had to deal with...and I keep a fine selection of sedatives on hand for my patients and my staff!"

Rodi gave the doctor a grateful smile and said, "Now comes the really hard part."

Dr. Winston raised his eyebrows, "Oh, what's that?"

"Keeping her in bed long enough to really get better!"

"Oh," said Dr. Winston with a mischievous glint in his eye, "I'm sure you'll think of something." He excused himself.

"Is this really over?" Magnus asked. "She surrendered? She's staying? Just like that?"

"Just like that?" Rodimus asked. "Were you here?"

"You forget sometimes how much I saw in the tunnels Rodimus. I saw how she fought to save you...and I find it hard to believe she's giving up so easily if she really thinks this is bad for you. Maybe we should plant some kind of tracker on her while she sleeps."

Rodimus shook his head. " It's a cease fire, not a surrender Magnus. She realizes the wall was killing us, so she's agreed to drop it, but she hasn't given up finding a way to split our minds up."

"Ah...that...seems more like it," Magnus said. "What will she do in the mean time?"

"I...don't know exactly. She's willing to give...umm...us...a try. We didn't think we could work because of what we are, but if I can go human now and then... Honestly, though, I think Edana has more to do with her being willing to go with that. It's the mind link that bothers her. She worried about her demon, but she's worried about her life-span too."

Pagan looked up from her pestle. "She can't live here, Rodimus. We can't keep this place shielded forever. The ship's been stationary too long. The combined bounty on all our heads would bring untold hunters to this world, and they would not hesitate to level this city to collect us."

"This is the very problem we've been working on for you Pagan," Elita said. "One of your team is gravely injured and you have no safe place to take her. We've got to find a way to give you a secure medical facility. It's amazing to me you haven't needed it before now."

"Perceptor and KC are working on it," Optimus said.

"They are?" Rodimus asked.

"You aren't the only one with secrets," Optimus said to him, a bit coldly.

Pagan's laughter sounded a bit like air escaping a ruptured tire combined with a machine gun. "We have been conspiring with these robots for some time Male. A safe place to heal our wounded would indeed be appreciated. It is a risk you take, robots. Any hint of alliance with us brings the Jabez here."

"They are already here," Rodimus growled.

The Drazi looked up from her grinding and studied him. "You are more healed than your golden companion in pain, Male, but your healing is not done. Your voice makes that plain."

"It will be done when they are all dust," Rodimus whispered to Edana.

Pagan clacked her lips and throat at him. * TK* "Hate and fear like that pin down your thinking. That's how you two ended up like this. She is fearful and hateful. You are fearful and hateful. And so you ignore acceptable options because they aren't as extreme as your hate. You both need to push back against it."

Rodimus, holding a child who shouldn't even exist, smiled skeptically.

Pagan shook her head and went back to grinding.

"She's right Rodimus," Optimus said.

"You are no one to talk about skewered thinking Optimus," Rodimus sighed.

The senior Prime geared up to argue and then noticed both Magnus and Pagan were watching him.

"I'll talk to you about this later Rodimus," Optimus gritted, "And I'll let the others know you're both OK."

"Thanks Optimus," Rodi said. He didn't manage to sound terribly grateful.

Elita shook her head. The femme Commander took Optimus' hand and pulled him toward the door.

Continued in Part D

Aftermath

The next morning it was Jordan and Jazz on guard duty in the hospital ward. They spent a long boring night watching various nurses see to Lancer and watching Rodimus see to his daughter. Neither of them knew what to say or not say, so mostly they just sat.

Lancer woke afraid, but not alone.

That's what made her most afraid.

She had been dreaming of her possession again, of being speared, of the death of her baby, and of Rodimus.

Rodimus.

He was at her side immediately, stroking her sweating forehead and hands, reassuring her with his voice, and with his mental touch, more intimate than his hands could ever be. Her amazing love...strong in so many ways. Fragile as glass in others. His sanity was so precious to her, given what a hard fought battle it had been to regain it. She was proud he'd made it home. Proud she'd kept him alive. Proud she'd helped him recover enough of his mind to let him go back to serving his people and functioning on his own.

Proud yes...of this house of cards. Terrified in equal measure that her own brand of madness would bring it all down.

She shook with fear. Drugged, delirious, and most of all ashamed she'd failed to free him, even her old crutch of rage had disintegrated. She had surrendered; she felt as good in his presence as a reformed addict did for falling off the wagon.

Rodimus held her and rocked her a little. She was dismayed by his human arms around her. She viewed his humanity as an aberration of his true nature. His arms were atrocities.

None of her reasons for leaving in the first place had been answered.

The pain-killers weren't helping her calm down, and Rodimus shuddered as wave after wave of misery swept from her mind into his. He wanted her, but not like this, which was why he'd helped her hold the painful shields between them for months on end. It hurt. Her emotions had the same trapped desperation he'd felt in the torture chamber, and she twisted in the bonds of their link just as frantically.

She didn't just want out. She needed out.

"I can't stand this! I can't!" Lancer said, her voice muffled into Rodi's shoulder.

Jordan watched them quietly from his seat. Reading body language was not native to him, but he had been around humans enough to see Lancer hadn't made much progress since she disappeared. Her desperation to quarantine herself remained firmly in place...but she was not the one he was most worried about.

"You need to calm yourself Lancer. You are hurting your hatchling," he said softly, going to the crib they had moved to the corner of the ward. He picked up the baby and held her under his chin. She held her body stiff against him with her arms and legs stretched tight and trembling.

"Edana?!" Lancer cried, frightened by her daughter's rigid posture, her swollen eyes, and pale, red-splotched complexion. There was no doubt in Lancer's mind that the baby was in pain.

"W...What's the matter with her?" Rodimus asked, looking from his mate to Jordan for answers.

"I don't know!" Lancer scanned her child with her eyes and powers.

"I do," Jordan said, although Rodimus had to get the "translation" from Lancer's mind. It had taken her a long time to be able to hear the words in Jordan and Claudia's tonal speech. Their windpipes didn't work like a human's - functioning more like pipe organs- and while they both spoke human English, it was hard for Jordan and Claudia to form syllables clearly. Both young parents were suddenly all ears though.

"It's her empathy," Jordan said, in his frustratingly slow fashion. "She is in distress because you are in distress." he went on, "She is incapable of shielding yet." Lancer and Rodimus both went extremely pale.

"She picking up on that already?" Rodimus asked, his voice rising in horror. "She's only a few months old!" He felt sick fear for his child. On this planet of war there were so many damaged psyches...Lancer's and his own not being the least of them. He found himself suddenly siding with Lancer's sentiment of getting away from someone he loved for their own good.

The strange, tight hitching Edana was making instead of breathing blew up into an ear-straining wail.

"Stop that!" Jordan commanded. "Your thoughts run in circles, feeding of themselves! I need no senses save my eyes to see this and your offspring has better senses than eyes!"

"But how can we help her?" Lancer asked desperately, 'Will we have to isolate her?"

Jordan first response to this was pure rage. On his world, complete isolation was a means of executing the worst criminals. It was the cruelest form of torture and to suggest doing it to an infant... but he knew the question was asked in ignorance. He took a moment composing himself and then answered her calmly.

"To do so would drive her insane, Lancer. All empaths learn early how to shield and so will she. My people are careful to control themselves around the very young and so must you until she learns. To isolate her would be like putting her in a box with no light and no air. You must learn to be gentle with her feelings as you are with her body, that is all."

"But.." Rodimus said, "There is so much trauma around here! We are at war! So many of us have suffered so much!"

"And you would have your daughter remain innocent of all suffering?" Jordan asked gently. He could see from the way Rodimus stiffened that that was exactly what the young warrior wanted. The very idea that his child ever know pain was completely unacceptable to him. Jordan was glad his face never changed expression, he had a feeling Rodimus would take a smile the wrong way right now.

"You can not prevent her from knowing pain, my young friend. She knows it already." Jordan told him. He saw that piece of news hit home. Rodimus' eyes went from blazing green to a sad, murky aqua. Jordan decided he rather liked Lancer's soul-bound at that moment. Rodimus was rather charmingly innocent. He very pointedly handed the child to her father.

"What do we do?" Lancer whispered.

"You, you especially Lancer, learn to live in the moment and stop wallowing in your self-indulgent fears!" Jordan said firmly. "You are spoiled, waiting for perfection. Selfish with yourself, that's what you are. There are people with holes in their lives because you won't grow past this fear. I know your possession was intensely traumatic, but you are NOT trying to get past it. You continue to let the entity hurt us all by doing exactly what it wanted."

"But..." Lancer started, "I'm trying to protect you!"

"Oh, yes," Jordan said, "And who are you to claim we need protection little one? I am much older and better than you at judging threats to myself and you are arrogant to assume you among them! You are no threat to me, young human, save that you sometimes hurt me with your absence."

Rodimus smiled a little at that remark, and at Lancer's stunned expression at being called selfish, spoiled, petty, and arrogant.

"If I go after you in a rage it's going to be your limbs that are absent," Lancer growled.

"Ah...if this is likely why haven't you done so before? We've fought side by side more than once while you were rage-bound. If you do turn you also assume I am incapable of defending myself then? I suppose Claudia and Kain will be fooled by you as well or will fail to warn us of your treachery for reasons of their own. Your mate must also be a complete fool if you think he would not know it if your soul turned."

Rodimus' smile quirked a little higher. "Oh I am, so you won't win any points with that last one Jordan. You're doing all right otherwise."

Lancer scowled over her shoulder at him and elbowed him in the gut. She didn't think about it but it was a natural response she'd used often when he was being a pain during their first months together.

"Oh, ouch, make it stop!" Rodimus said to needle her. She turned and threw him a disgusted glare, which he grinned at.

"You're an ass," she told him. The familiar exchange helped them both to relax a slight hair and really listen to what Jordan was telling them.

"Overreacting is not productive." Jordan told them calmly. "After all, it is only new to you, not to her. She was picking up on your emotions before she was born Lancer. It is natural to her. She only responds strongly when you are obsessing. See? She has already relaxed now even though you are both still upset. It is the difference between her hearing a voice in the distance and someone shouting in her face. Your emotions, whether positive or negative are not really the issue until she learns to interpret them. It's the 'volume' you must learn to control."

"And when she does learn to interpret them?" Rodimus asked in concern.

"By the time she is that age, she will no doubt also have learned how to shield herself."

Rodimus nodded thoughtfully, while Lancer fussed over Edana. The baby relaxed and fell into a boneless, exhausted sleep. It startled Lancer a little that the baby could even stand to be near her if she was empathic.

Rodimus, sensing this, sent Has she ever seemed afraid or repelled by you?

You mean except when you were making me blow things up? Lancer returned. No... mostly she's a smiler...and it isn't like I was having a good time in that swamp. She only gets cranky when I don't feed her...so that probably means she's not yours!

So we just need to figure out how to handle this...it'll be OK.

Everything's a strategy with you, Lancer replied.

Right. Recon first. Plan of attack second.

Jordan was almost sorry he opened this particular can of worms by the time they were done pounding him for details. How old would she be before she could shield? Could he or Claudia help her learn sooner? Could they design rooms like Claudia's to help keep her calm?

All Jazz heard during the grilling was an ever growing list of things he was going to need to somehow get on the DL to outfit this operation. At least most of it he could work into the same arrangements he was making for the other secret project Optimus was ordering. That was going to be a pain, but Jazz liked it. He was sick of running missions that only involved Rodimus assassinating things. This one was about building something positive. Plus, he loved surprises, and pulling this one over on Rodimus was definitely going to prove his skills.

He looked forward to it. Council meetings being tense and unproductive lately, and recent genocides being so far out of his moral view of himself he half wondered if he should resign. Maybe making things better for Rodimus and Lancer would help Rodimus and Optimus get along better too.

The Specialist observed his humanized commander closely and felt better about things than he had in a while. In spite of his obvious stress over both of his girls, Rodimus was smiling more easily and moving with more animation than he had in a long time. Maybe it was the human thing, but Jazz didn't think so. Jazz didn't know how much of the recent bickering between the Primes was real differences of opinion or just Rodimus feeling like slag, but he hoped it would settle down soon. Being around them was nothing but static lately.

When Jordan left it was well past his shift change with Talon. He stayed until Lancer and Rodi ran out of things to ask...or maybe it was just because Lancer ran out of energy. She fought to stay awake while Rodi and Talon took turns playing with the baby.

Edana's laugh made Rodi laugh a couple of times and Jazz was somehow shocked at the sound. Rodimus clowned around all the time...keeping people who worked with him smiling was like a thing with him. This was different. It wasn't Hot Rod's laugh for sure...did that mean it was real?

On the other hand, one of the nurses came in as Lancer was dozing off. Lancer's hand snapped out in a knife strike Jazz had seen Rodi use on Sharkticon's...only to be intercepted by her mate's. Rodi smiled and made a big show of rubbing her hand. The nurse smiled back at him, clueless. Talon's eyebrows had crawled half way over his head. He met Jazz's optics and winced.

"Do you need anything?" the nurse asked.

"No...nothing at all," Lancer assured her. "Thanks anyway though. See you later. Rodi...see her out will you?" They smiled at brightly and Rodimus followed the nurse to the door. When she went through he locked it.

"If the slag gets any deeper around here," Jazz muttered to himself.

Lancer threw her head back against her pillow and covered her face with her right hand. "Really...when are you idiots going to let me out of here? I'm too bloody hair triggered for this place," she hissed at the lot of them.

"You'll be fine. I'll make sure they know to wake you before they do anything," Rodimus assured her. "I've got this."

She arched an eyebrow at him, and launched a one-armed series of assaults at his head and chest. He blocked them all and smiled at her when she done. Talon snickered wickedly. Jazz just shook his head.

"I missed you," Rodi said, pleased with himself.

"Hmmph...at least you've been keeping up on your training," she said. "But you can't be here every minute. Don't you have a job? I seem to remember some kind of job..."

"That's jobs, plural Little Lady," Jazz said. 'Does the Prime-thing all day and the assassin thing all night. Takes a recharge like every third day or so. Maybe you can knock some sense into him."

Lancer's eyes flared white. "What?"

"You're getting me in trouble Jazz," Rodimus sighed.

"I know," Jazz grinned.

"What?" Lancer said again...this time through fangs.

"Lancer...Love..."

Don't you "Love" me! What the hell?! I could see it if you were trying to be all stealth about it but as most of the Command Staff keeps wandering in here I can see that went out the window! Why do they know if not to help you?

They are helping as much as they can! They can't do what you taught me! Rodimus explained.

Then why don't you teach any of them? Lancer countered.

There's no time! Rodimus tried.

There's no time to teach them your DAY job either? Lancer accused. What is the matter with these people? Are they trying to get you killed? One mistake and the Jabez run over this world and they LET you exhaust yourself?!

Umm...well...

"You know it's rude to exclude folks in the room from your conversations," Jazz complained. He could tell he was missing a good one from the way Rodimus was sort of scrunching down.

Oh shit! Not talking! "You are an ass! Go! Go do your jobSzzz. Fix this...body issue. I will just have to fend off the damned pain-killers."

"Actually I was thinking of hitting some sites I normally can't fit in," he told her.

"In sweatpants? Really Mr. Deathwish? Can you even breath? I know you think it's optional and all..."

"You know, I'm beginning to wonder why I missed you. Lay off! I know you're worried about...everything...but don't take it out on me. I'm not stupid. I was going to shop for something more substantial before I went in."

"Or ya could stop by the Maelstrom and we could outfit ya with actual body armor," Talon mused. "If you're into not dying and all." They stared at him and he smirked.

"Or that," Rodimus told his mate. "Happy now?"

"Yeah, actually. You can gear up in my room too, if my stuff really is still there," Lancer said, cocking an eye at Talon.

"Girl, ain't no one looking to get close enough to knife a CV but you. All your tip-toeing, sneak killing stuff is still right where you left it. We've been running nothing but MY kind of missions since you left."

"Your kind of missions?" Jazz asked.

"Talon likes large noisy explosions that cause talk and a rise in our bounty," Lancer told him. "I prefer missions that don't even get investigated because the target died of natural causes or slipped in the shower...you know...ones that require skill."

"Ah, the insults! I've missed 'em," Talon said.

"I don't really lack for knives Love, you left me a set, remember? Anything missing I made already. I could use some of those poisons you like though. Jazz hasn't been quite up to getting all of the ingredients for me...something about needing a plausible excuse to buy them."

"Man, you really ask the impossible sometimes..." Jazz started.

"He's teasing you Jazz," Lancer said. "You've been a dick to everyone lately haven't you?"

"Uh-huh. I get cranky when I'm dying. Sue me," Rodimus said. They all turned at that moment to a knock on the ward's door.

Talon got up and let in an orderly with a tray full of food. The poor guy had been warned to handle Lancer like a PTSD patient but he found it disconcerting that every set of eyes/optics in the room followed his every move.

Trying to be professionally cheerful, he served up Lancer's first solid food since arriving and apologized in advance for its bland nature.

"Sorry Ma'am. Doctor's orders. Bran muffin and prune juice for now because of all the narcotics. It's even worse than it sounds because we have to freeze and import everything from Earth."

"Am I going to have to kill it myself, gut it, or pick legs off it before I eat it?" Lancer asked.

"Um...no. No Ma'am."

"Then it's going to be great!" she grinned, meaning it. After almost two continuous years fending for herself, Lancer was just glad her next meal didn't come moving.

Rodimus chuckled.

"What would you like to drink?" the orderly asked.

"Can I have coffee?" Lancer asked with a bit of a desperate note.

"Yes Ma'am," he told her.

She grinned even wider. "You are my new favorite person!"

"See how fast we get thrown over for caffeine Edana? Mommy's an addict who hasn't had a fix in long time," Rodimus noted.

"So you'll be joining me in this lovely meal? None of it ever said 'moo' or anything," Lancer asked vindictively.

"Nope...going shopping with Talon remember? Hey, I'd like a look at the Sigmas while I'm up there...do you think Rob will mind?"

"That was a really good distraction! Wasn't that a good distraction, guys? I think that's a great idea Honey, and you can go eat a real meal in the mess hall as your reward for thinking that was somehow going to work!"

"He eats like he recharges. Only when somebody manages to grab his tailpipe and makes it happen," Jazz told her, laughing.

"You're a traitor Jazz," Rodimus griped. As for you, Lady Assassin, I'd remember that you are going to be bed-ridden and unable to retaliate for a very long time. You should be way more aware of how terribly vulnerable you are.

"Speak your idle threats Sir," Lancer said. "Hey Jazz, do you suppose you could pick up one more little thing for me?"

"If I can little lady, it's yours," he said.

"You're a good guy, Jazz. Unlike your sadistic boss. I'd like a compilation of every terrible, sappy show tune you can find...and jingles! It definitely needs lots and lots of jingles," Lancer grinned.

"Uh...sure?" Jazz said.

"You wouldn't..." Rodimus whispered.

"If you plan on giving me shit while I'm stuck here I will happily have you rocking out to Double-Mint gum and Kit-Kat jingles on loop. There will be no escape from "Annie" or "My Fair Lady" either." Her voice echoed with impending doom.

"You'll be suffering with me!" Rodimus protested.

"And it will be worth it! Go there...I dare you!"

Rodimus held up both hands. "I'll be good! I promise!"

No you won't, Lancer sent.

Jazz and Talon laughed.

"You're threatening you man with show tunes?" Talon asked, chuckling. Jazz was beside himself.

"They'll be stuck in his head for days. Know thy enemy, Talon," Lancer grinned.

"Hey! I'm not your enemy," Rodi complained.

"Uh-huh..." Lancer said.

He looked at her sideways. "Hmm...if we are enemies perhaps I should keep this instead of giving it back to you." He pulled out her memory crystal with her actual music on it. "There's some good stuff on here, but if you'd rather listen to show tunes." He dangled it just out of Lancer's reach.

"I thought you swore off tunes Man," Jazz said.

Lancer's head whipped around to stare at the Specialist and back around again just as fast.

"You're getting me in trouble Jazz," Rodi sighed.

You never played it did you? Lancer sent. It made her sad...and a bit mad at him. Rodi you promised you wouldn't just...go through the motions.

I never promised I wouldn't grieve...and when the shield started tearing all the time I needed to avoid things that reminded me of you. Well...all of it reminds me of you. Even the ones you don't like. They all fall into categories. This one might cause moving...this one might cause moving to hit the "next" button. This one might cause singing and dancing with bloody leg bones...ya know. Categories.

Sorry...so sorry love. I didn't mean to take music from you too, Lancer sent.

He leaned in and kissed her ruthlessly. You didn't. It just went on hold until things sorted out. If it makes you feel any better the kid is a great consolation prize. …. We are forgetting to speak again.

The ward's door opened unexpectedly. Talon drew his weapon and Rodimus whirled around to face the intruder...who turned out to be Optimus Prime.

"Hey Boss-man, you're supposed to knock," Jazz reminded him. He didn't like the way Rodi's face went cold the instant the senior Prime showed up.

"Optimus...get out. I'll meet you in the hall in a minute," Rodimus ordered.

"But..." Optimus started.

"Out!" Rodimus snapped.

Lancer's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. "Hey," she said, taking her mate's arm.

Rodimus didn't answer her. "Talon...when's your shift up?"

"About an hour," Talon answered.

"Great," Rodimus said. "I'll meet you back here by then. Optimus and I are going to have a chat first."

"Hey," Lancer said again. This got her nowhere so, Love? What's wrong? What she got back was a wash of frustration and anger.

He's out of line in so many ways right now I can't even list them! Are we finally giving up on the speaking thing? Rodimus sent.

"No. Go have it out then. Smack his nose if you need to. Just don't be sadistic about it OK?" He loves you. Even when he screws up it's because he loves you. Be a little more patient with him! "Learning to do better was hard for you too!"

It's hard to be patient when it's you and Edana he's risking over and over...and with you the rest of our people.

"I'm not saying you don't have reason to chew him a new one. Do what you need to do...just save Three for the bad guys OK?

You handled Three just fine. Rodimus sent.

I'm meaner than Op. I'm meaner than Three too, she replied sadly. "Teach him to do better! This is the way he was MADE to think! Teach him! Don't torture him."

"This is why I need you here," Rodimus told her. He cut her off when she started to argue. "NO! I don't want to hear how I shouldn't...this is the reality of it. I need you here." He kissed her, then the baby. "I'll see you later. Bye guys."

Lancer watched him go and then picked at her blankets. She knew there was no chance her two babysitters would leave her by herself, but she could have used some privacy right then.

"Is...is there something going on I should know about?" Talon asked.

"Um...probably, but why specifically are you asking?" she returned, never looking up from her oh-so interesting blanket lint.

"Because that was not a 'see you later' kiss. That was a 'never see you again' type kiss," Talon accused.

"Oh. That's standard protocol. We figured, some day we'd be right...and we were." She sighed. "I'm getting a second chance here Talon, but it feels stolen to me."

Jazz shook his head. "Little Lady, you need to quit thinking like that. If you can get Prime and Prime Inc. to start workin' like a team again we'll all be better off.

Rodimus found Optimus cooling his heels in the hall and idly kicking the wall...a resentful child sent to time out...which Rodimus supposed was exactly how he'd been treated.

The young Prime couldn't quite muster up enough sympathy to feel guilty about that, but he did re-agree with Lancer's assessment that he was feeling a bit too eager to lash out a Optimus.

"Rodimus..."

"Not here! In the hallway? You have got to be kidding me. Offices...quarters...I don't care! Not the damned hallway!" They took the lift up to Optimus' offices.

"When we get up there, you go on in and I'll catch up," Rodimus told his partner.

"Why? Where are you going?"

"I'm not going anywhere, but I'm also not going to follow you through Central in human form Optimus! Once we get to our floor I'll get into your office so that I won't be seen."

"Oh...of course. We're almost there. Do you need me to do anything?" Optimus asked.

"Nope...just walk in like usual," Rodi told him.

Optimus complied and went in, nodding in what he hoped was a casual fashion to his own office staff. Once inside he sat at his desk and stared at the door, waiting.

"So are we going to do this or not?" Rodimus asked from right at his elbow. He walked to the center of the desk and stood facing his partner with his arms crossed.

"AAHHH!" Optimus yelped.

"You, are pretty much horrible at any form of duplicity Optimus," Rodimus informed him.

"That's not a surprise now is it?" Optimus asked once his fuel pump slowed down to something like normal.

"I suppose it isn't, but you need to try harder. You're going to get us all killed. You almost did get Lancer killed and now she's stuck here...for months probably!" Rodimus tried very hard sound like a reasonable person about that.

"We had no way of knowing they'd find her that easily Rodimus, and we had to do something! You were both dying!" Optimus knew he sounded defensive, but that was fine, because he was.

"You DID have a way of knowing that because I've told you time and again...and now that she's here it's like half of Central knows about it. Springer...which means Arcee, Kup, even Blitzwing for pity's sake! With all the personnel changes and so on, I'm sure the other half of Central is wondering what's up. No one has made any effort to act like it's business as usual. None of you have been cautious going to and from the medical wing. You've been arguing with Kup in the hall! We need to move her now, and there's nowhere to send her."

"Every one of those people is one of your trusted friends Rodimus!" Optimus argued.

"And every one of them is susceptible to telepathic scans and Conversion! Why can't I get you to think about that? It's not a matter of trust – it's a matter of minimizing our exposure! I'm not worried about Laser Beak flying in a having a look around Central...I'm worried about someone like Kain having a look around people's minds! Lancer's friends survive by getting in and out quickly...we're stuck here and we can't afford to be sloppy. You need to learn to think small. Detail, details, details!"

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking in terms of exposure. I was just trying to get you and Lancer back in the same place so we could keep you both alive," Optimus said.

"You know even my life isn't worth bringing the Jabez down on all of our people. Next time you're faced with that kind of choice let me, or whoever it is, die. I'm one Autobot. She's one human. You have two planets under your protection and our lives shouldn't even register on that scale."

Optimus snorted. "You accuse me of not being able to adjust to this new threat and then think we are going to make this transition without you. If you are right, Vector Sigma programmed all of us to ignore the small things. I don't know if it was your torture or the mind link that broke you free Rodi, but you are not expendable right now."

"Your own mate is good at it Optimus...and we all need to be expendable. They took me when they wanted me last time, and they could take any of us again. What if it had been you and the Matrix? Would you want us all to fall apart because you were gone?"

"We're working on it," Optimus started.

"Not fast enough...not stealthy enough! The hole in Lancer's shoulder proves that! All we can hope for is that the slavers that hit her were too greedy to report what they were doing to anyone. If someone else follows up with a good psychometric or even a basic energy scan to catch our shuttle's trail it will lead them right back here."

"You talk like you're unhappy she's back with you," Optimus said softly.

Rodimus just stared at him.

"You know I never wanted you to have to sacrifice your relationship with your mate like Elita and I did...it was one of the things that made me happy we were partners," Optimus reminded him.

Rodimus just stared at him.

"But...you aren't glad?"

"GLAD?! Glad to know the woman I love would rather die than be linked with me? Glad that she's frantic to escape me? Glad she's trapped here? Glad to know there's not a thing I can do to make her happy? Oh yeah, Op. I'm delighted. Thanks so much for hunting her down like an animal and putting her in this snare with us. Thanks for going against everything I asked of you! Thanks for putting my empathic child in the middle of this war-zone! Really. I can't fucking thank you enough!"

"By the Matrix..."

"Not hardly!" Rodimus snapped.

"I thought I was helping you!" Optimus said meekly.

"YOU THOUGHT!? Really? Did you think I didn't know what I was doing? Or did you just think you knew better than I did about my mate and my relationship? When exactly are you going to learn to trust my judgment? Do you suppose maybe I had reasons for letting her go?! Did it never occur to you that maybe the reason I kept asking you to stay out of it was because I wanted you to stay out of it?! Are you ever going to respect me, or are you just going to keep trying to run my life?!"

"But..."

"BUT NOTHING! YOU SCREWED UP! AND WE ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES! She's still fighting to get our minds apart. She's still going to leave as soon as she can! Nothing's changed, except she's hurt and vulnerable because she's here until that arm gets better. Which it won't...not really." Rodimus started off shouting, but finished with a hiss that would have made Pagan proud.

"I'm sorry!" Optimus cried. "All I was trying to do was save your lives!"

"OK fine. Thanks for that. New ground rules OK? You can give me all the hell you want about the Autobots, the Jabez, and anything we are doing work wise...but you leave Lancer out of it. You leave my daughter out of it too. My private life is as fucked up as the rest of it, but it's mine. None of us know what the hell to do about it, so how's about you idiots let us make our own mistakes? We deserve that much privacy and that much respect at the very least. We were figuring out the wall wasn't working already. A little more time and a little less meddling and maybe we would be trying something else without the bloody mess!"

Optimus sat frozen in his seat by the scorn, and yes, the hatred in his partner's voice. Even the Matrix was responding, projecting Rodi's emotions faintly through the link. The fact that Optimus could feel them at all told him how deeply Rodimus was hurt. Once again, assumptions and arrogance on his own part had caused Rodimus pain. He tried to think of something to say...something to justify or apologize for his actions. Words failed him.

When Optimus did nothing but stare at him, Rodimus snorted, and stormed out, leaving Optimus to wonder how it was possible to behave like you just slammed an automatic door.