Little Prince
Chapter 2: Happiness
While watching the infant breathe in and out, Endymion couldn't help but feel happy. That this tiny little boy was here and was so comfortable around him-trusted him to protect him- while he slept.
Carefully, the King of the earth-and by extension due to marriage- and moon picks up the little prince and rests him on his chest watching the tiny face scrunch up at the change before relaxing.
This was his son. His little boy, Darius.
He was suppose to have a daughter named Chibiusa with soft baby pink hair and vivid red eyes that were full of life and curiosity.
And he felt guilty.
He felt guilty because unlike the others, he wasn't as desperate as they were to find out the answers as to why this child was born instead of her. Oh, he had loved that little time-traveler as much as any of the others or perhaps a bit more.
However, Endymion himself had his own secret dreams that would never come true because of her birth. Because of the simple fact that girls were the only ones born to the royal queens of the Silver Millennium and that his wife would've only had one child.
Just one and no more.
When he had learned that a long time ago from Pluto as well, that small dream- the secret one he once would've shared with Usagi- died a miserable lingering death. He had to come to terms that he would never have what he longed for at all. He would never remember his parents or even know of their families and he would never have the big family that he wished for while in the Orphanage.
That was his little secret wish carved from the desperation of loneliness within the darkness of the hours of that place. Where he used to wish for a family to adopt him and feel the parental love he could no longer remember. So he wouldn't have felt guilty about being the reason that he not only lost his memory but his parents.
It had been his fault. Why on earth did he insist that for his birthday he wanted to go out? Why hadn't they said no?
Reality was a harsh mistress as she didn't even allow him the memory of such a tragic accident but only in whispers and sensations that haunted his dreams before those of the Moon Princess appeared.
He blinks a bit bringing himself back to the present as his son had made a small noise before settling against his father's chest. That's right, his son. Someone that was a mixture of himself and his wife.
He moves towards the window, careful not to disturb the babe's slumber and looks out on the city below as the sun began to set, casting a warm orange and golden glow on the crystals below.
He felt guilty that he prized this child so much. So much more than his pink haired daughter from a future that she didn't appear from now. All because this boy symbolized something to Endymion. That because of Darius's birth things weren't set in stone. That there could be the possibility of another child or of more children.
He closes his eyes and rocks slowly the child in his arms. The Possibility he held and tried to squash the guilt of it. That secret dream of his that once again lived because of this boy.
Oh, he had, like the others, been extremely surprised when his son was born. It was a puzzle to them all but it broke some of their hearts to learn of this. However, unlike the girls- they wouldn't understand what it felt like- Endymion had later inwardly celebrated even as guilt followed it like an unwanted shadow.
He had a son! A Son! It wasn't even the fact that the child was a boy, but...
He wanted someone to take after him in more than personality. He had once long ago searched his future daughter's face for any evidence of himself in her and found none. She looked like a perfect yet different colored clone of her mother and her grandmother.
There was nothing of him save his personality in that girl.
It had distressed him to a degree back then while he looked on at the pictures of his own parents. Yet again, he lost something. Something to pass on to preserve what was lost with her.
Turning from the window, an odd melody came to his mind and he hums it softly as his child stirs and began to cry.
He must be hungry, Endymion thought and moves to get a bottle for the hungry boy. With ease and practice, he fixes it with one hand and made sure it wasn't too warm before moving to sit down in the rocking chair they had in there and fed him.
He continues to hum, watching the boy's blue eyes- they were actually the same shade as his and his mother's. Usako's were too bright in color but he could see that besides the blonde hair, that the boy had her lips and ears as well as insatiable appetite.
Taking a break between them he smiles at the child who only smiles back and waves his tiny little hands making small noises. His heart melts at the sight even as he shifts the child to burp him, knowing that within probably less than a half hour he would have to change him.
Endymion didn't mind this as he cleans up his child's face and just continues to hum softly before kissing the boy's forehead.
He whispers softly to the baby his hopes for him and dreams.
Maybe one day that pink haired child will appear.
In this moment, though, Mamoru couldn't bring himself to feel guilty about being happy she wasn't here now.
