There was nothing left. Nothing but dirt and ash and rubble. The air stunk of death and destruction and unforgiveness. There was literally nothing; not even bones. He looked around, feeling...nothing. For the first time, he felt nothing but cold, weary, tired and alone. What was going on? Here was the Doctor, a murderer, and he felt more passionately than he had ever felt before. He stepped out onto the ashes and realized that his trainers were treading on what used to be a person. Most likely several people, blown into dust. He coughed the ash out of his lungs and darted back into the TARDIS. She glowed down at him as he leaned against the console, breathing heavily although there was no reason to be. Perhaps the weight of mass murder sat on his chest and restricted his lungs.

He ran his fingers over the controls and scrubbed a tear from his face. "I just need to get away." he said to himself.

"A vacation. No trouble, no one to save."

He looked up at the time rotor and then his fingers whirred over the controls as he set her flight pattern. "Somewhere innocent. Nothing big or flashy. Nothing dangerous."

She groaned and creaked assent as the TARDIS began flying through time and space, searching for somewhere peaceful to send him. He leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. "Somewhere I can relax." he murmured. When the TARDIS landed, he tentatively approached the door. Where had she taken him? He itched to check the monitor and see where he was, but he resisted. He liked surprises. Carefully, gingerly he put his hand on the knob of the door and gently pulled it open, listening to the soothing, familiar creak of the old girl opening to spill him out somewhere new. When he poked his head out, he didn't see anything relaxing. He saw the opposite of relaxing. It was a crowded Cardiff street, with humans rushing about and yelling at each other. People carrying shopping bags, mobile, 21st century technology, and children hurrying somewhere. Stupid, thick humans. He ducked back into the TARDIS and looked up at her with a frown. "What the hell is this?" he demanded. She didn't reply, even when he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. "I wanted to go somewhere I can relax, not somewhere where everyone is constantly in danger!"

She didn't reply and it was an insistent silence. She urged him to go outside and explore, and he sighed but obliged. Turning on his heel, the Doctor pulled open the door once more and this time stepped onto the pavement and closed the door behind him.

For the longest time, nothing happened, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he could relax, he could calm down. Naturally, it didn't last. After he'd wandered around for a while, he looked up at one of the taller apartment buildings and saw something at the top. At first, he dismissed it as one of those decorative gargoyles or a spire or something, but then the thing moved. It peered over the edge of the roof and looked down at the busy pavement. His sensitive eyes caught something falling - something impossible for human eyes to see at this distance. It plummeted down twenty stories and landed on the pavement with a weak splat. Just a drop of water - a tear. It was then when it hit him. That was a person up there. He jerked his hands out of his pockets and sprinted into the building, yanked open the door, decided against the slow elevator and launched himself up flights of stairs. There was something wrong. As he got closer and closer to the rooftop, there was a crushing sense of darkness, hopelessness, hurt, that grew with every step. Finally, he slammed into the door that would allow him out onto the roof, but it was locked.

Erin looked over the side of the building down at the pavement. There were so many people down there… all doing what they did every day. Life was monotonous. There was no meaning, especially not to hers. She sniffed and blinked, causing a tear to roll off of her eyelashes and fall, fall, fall. Other tears mourned the loss of their kin in their slow descent down her cheeks, and she leaned back. She didn't see the man darting for her apartment building. Instead, she closed her eyes and images rushed through her head. She could hear the screams, everybody screaming at her, always. They never stopped, it seemed. She shedded her coat and let it fall to the gravel behind her, on the roof, and then she looked down at the angry red streaks across the underbellies of her forearms. The scabs that multiplied in number every lonely night. She heard a heavy thud on the door behind her and flinched so much that she nearly toppled off of the roof. By the time she'd regained her footing, a man flung the door open and froze.

After the Doctor sonicked and burst open the door and scrambled outside, he froze. There was only one person on top of the building. And she was crying. Neither of them said anything for a moment, but then his eyes found her arms. Almost instantly, she crossed them but he could still see hints and flecks of red, fresh wounds. "Can I help you?" the girl asked. Her voice was soft, weak, and utterly resigned. He stared at her for a moment before finally finding his words. "What're you doing up here?"

"Nothing."

"What's that on your arms?"

"Nothing."

"What's your name?"

She hesitated this time. "Erin." she finally said. He nodded and slowly tried to approach, but she backed dangerously close to the edge. "Don't." she said. The Doctor froze.

"I'm the Doctor. Let me help."

"Who called you?"

"No one. I saw you up here, and - "

"Please go away." she said. Her voice was barely audible. He didn't leave her, even when she turned to face the street below. "Just tell me what you're doing."

"Nothing."

"Tell me."

"I'm going to jump off of this building. That's what I'm doing."

His hearts stopped for a moment. Why would she do that? "What?" he stuttered stupidly. She turned back around, away from him. She knew he'd heard her. "Why?" the Doctor demanded.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

She sounded almost ashamed.

"Please tell me."

"Because I'm tired."

That girl stopped his hearts for a second time. He knew exactly how she felt, but he still didn't understand. "I know how that feels."

"Stop it."

"What?"

"Don't say that, please. I'm tired of people saying they know how I feel. They don't." she said weakly. The Doctor glanced behind her at the edge of the building. "Come away from there. You'll fall."

"I know." she choked. Everything slowed down and moving his legs through the air felt like he was moving them through water. As he tried to run to her and catch her, Erin fell backwards and didn't stop falling until her broken body was bleeding out onto the pavement twenty stories below.

The Doctor was in shock. Cold, horrible shock. How? Why? Was all he thought, as he saw the swarm of people running around the body, like a pack of vultures. It was sickening, what had happened; horrific. He stared down at the scene numbly, not able to move, barely able to breathe. He watched the crowd of people raise their heads to look up and point at him and he took that as the signal to begin running. He sprinted down, the stairs, and naturally didn't go through the front door. That'd be stupid. He hoped no one would notice him, but of course, that didn't work. As he ducked through the back door, a security guard caught sight of him and started yelling at him to halt, stop. The Doctor knew what the crowd thought. They thought he'd pushed her. He didn't bother trying to reason with them, he knew that humans could be savage and he didn't want to be thrown in prison. He was already in enough trouble on Earth. He pushed the door of the TARDIS open and rushed inside, slammed the door, and crumpled onto the floor. His breathing was heavy, his eyes were closed tight, his hands went to his head. He tried to push the image out of his head - the poor, innocent girl, choosing to take her own life. And then his head snapped up. Maybe this is what he should do. End his suffering forever. Take his own life and then choose to not regenerate. It's not as different as what the Master did - although he didn't shoot himself - but then again, the Master was never the best role model. The Doctor shook his head. No, I shouldn't. But he couldn't get rid of the idea.

He looked up at the TARDIS. "Why? Why'd you take me here? What was the point of this!" He shouted at her, angrily. She didn't respond. Of course not. She never responds, he thought bitterly. Stop acting like you think she will. He slowly stood up, shakily and weakly. Where can I go now? Where can I go, where there won't be anyone in danger? No one who's angry or bitter or hurt?

The answer was: no where. Anywhere where there was life, there'd be anger, and hate, and danger, and depression. He couldn't stop it, especially when he knew all of those emotions existed in him. Danger wasn't an emotion, but wherever he went, it followed, almost like a stalker. Again, the idea of ending his own life sounded appealing. He went about piloting the TARDIS silently, halfheartedly pulling levers and pushing buttons, taking himself nowhere. He just floated out in empty space, pulled open the TARDIS doors, and sat down, letting his long legs hang off of the edge of the TARDIS. For the longest time, he just sat there, trying not to think. If he thought too hard, he may just let himself slip out of the TARDIS and die. He couldn't do that. He realized that the Master was still out there, somewhere, and that if the Doctor was dead, there would be no one to stop him. No one that had the past he and the Master shared. Once the Doctor was gone, the Master could do anything he wanted. And then, there was the Earth. Who would save Earth time and time again, as well as all those other planets floating up there in the sky. Too many people needed the Doctor, and he knew that he would be letting them down if he just disappeared.

After a few hours, he gathered himself and got up, pushed the doors closed, and wandered off into the TARDIS. As he passed the door to Rose's room, he stopped with a jolt. Maybe he could get Rose back. He was a Time Lord, for Rassilon's sake, he could do whatever he wanted to. With this new realization he sprinted back into the control room and set the flight pattern to return him to Earth, in Cardiff, by Torchwood. Exactly where the Rift in Time and Space lie. It didn't matter if it was closed. He'd never thought he would be able to, but he could. With the technology of the TARDIS and his genius brain, he could do whatever he wished - and that included getting Rose back. In a mad frenzy he did what he needed to around the console and held on tight as the TARDIS forced itself through the Rift, bursting it open. He could sense the colossal Time and Space damage that was going on, but he didn't care. Not if it meant getting her back. And he was certain, absolutely certain that she would return with him to the Universe she belonged in. He was positive that the girl would say yes, and then they would be able to have the life they wanted to. He glanced at the jar containing his severed hand and grinned. Stupid Doctor, why hadn't he thought of this before? Not only could he bring Rose back, but he could love her forever. With that hand, he could make Rose a Time Lady and they could spend the rest of their lives together. The TARDIS landed with a jolt and the Doctor flung himself out of the door and onto Bad Wolf Bay, where Rose was waiting. In the TARDIS on the way there, he'd projected a message through the Void to Rose, calling her to this spot. She looked shocked to see him there, but her face broke out into a wide grin as he stepped out of the TARDIS and just looked at her. They stood still for a moment, but then Rose ran to the Doctor and held him tight. "Doctor!" she cried. He grinned and hugged her back.

"I thought the Rift was closed."

"Not for me. I can do anything, Rose. I can bring you back."

Finally, Rose saw the Doctor's eyes. They were wild, dangerous - triumphant. "Doctor? What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, Rose. Absolutely nothing. I can do whatever I want, now."

"No, you can't. What did you say about the Rift? If we travel through it any more, it would rip both our worlds apart?"

"Yes, but you can stay with me. Forever. I could make you a Time Lady."

"What?" Rose demanded. She pulled herself away from him. He looked down at her and grinned. "Remember my hand? The hand that got chopped off in the Christmas invasion? I've got it now, Rose, and I can integrate Time Lord DNA into yours. Then we can be with each other forever. Isn't that what you wanted?"

Now, the girl looked scared. The Doctor stared down at her incomprehensibly. "Not like this."

"But that's what you said! I asked you how long you were gonna stay with me, and you said 'forever'!"

"But… it's wrong, Doctor. You can't just make yourself a new Time Lady. It doesn't work like that. They're all gone, Doctor. I'm so sorry, but they're all gone now, and there's nothing you can do to change that."

"But they don't have to be! I've got the Master, and you! Just say yes, Rose. Say yes." he commanded. Her beautiful brown eyes were glistening with tears. "What have you become? You're not my Doctor anymore. What are you?"

"I'm the Time Lord Victorious, Rose. I'm the winner. I won the Time War."

Now, Rose Tyler looked horrified. "What the hell's happened to you?" she demanded. He clenched his fists and glared at her. "I won." he insisted sinisterly. Rose shook her head. "Obviously not, Doctor. You lost. You're just like the Time Lords, now. The Time Lords that were so awful by the end of the war. I'm sorry." the girl said. She turned and walked back to her mother, her father, and Mickey, and the Doctor stormed back into the TARDIS without giving them a second glance. He soared back into the Void and it spit him out in his Universe, parallel to Rose's. He landed back on Earth, in a rubbish yard, and he sat on the metal grating that was the floor. He'd failed again.