AN: I had originally planned for this story to be only a one shot but since I had such positive reviews, I thought I'd add to to it and the plot bunnies cooperated :) So let me know how you like this!


The first thing Kensi did when she landed at Honolulu Airport was go to Starbucks. She ordered her normal non fat, no whip caramel frappachinio and then mentally kicked herself big time for doing that. Deeks and her had spent a lot of time bonding over Starbucks coffee and drinking that drink was just bringing back memories of Los Angeles. She thought about throwing it out so she wouldn't have to relieve the memories. But she elected to just keep drinking it. She decided to embrace the memories. If she immediately thought badly about all those past memories, it wouldn't be an easy ride.

She didn't have any checked luggage so she went outside the airport terminal and hailed a cab. She gave the cabbie an address she hadn't been to in a very long time. For some reason it was the first place she thought to come and the first place that made even a little bit of logical sense. Really, she wasn't thinking logically at all. For someone who prided herself on thinking issues through clearly and logically, she wasn't thinking all that rationally.

Kensi walked up the small walk after paying the cabbie. The veranda on the beach house had been decorated nicely and Kensi smiled to herself. She was glad it had a homey touch to it. God knew the house, right on the ocean, needed a lot of work a couple years ago. She was at the door and spent a good 3 minutes just looking at the door knob. What the fuck was she doing here? Right. She ran away from her problems. Kensi couldn't believe herself. Finally she worked up enough nerve to knock on the door.

A weathered man opened the door and nothing was said between the two. All Kensi remembered was running into his arms and his arms closing around her. She just sobbed into his dark blue western shirt. She knew why she had come. Because this was the only person on earth who could comfort her like this. Love her like her dad would have, kicked her ass, kept her secrets. Retired Colonel Mike Richards was that man.

They finally broke apart and Mike held Kensi at an arm's length. "What happened?" Kensi felt guilty because the only time she really called or showed up on Mike's doorstep is when something went wrong. She had shown up at his doorstep when her father was killed in the 'accident.' Kensi had shown up at Mike's house after Jack left on Christmas morning. In fact, she had showed up on Christmas Day. She had shown up three sheets to the wind drunk one time, after a boyfriend cheated on her. And she had called him when Granger thought she had committed all those murders.

Kensi's chin quivered and she kicked off her shoes and sat on the couch. She mentally made a note to ask Mike who made the house look so good. She felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I… I'm pregnant."

Mike sat beside her and put an arm around her, comforting her. She had both feet on the couch and buried her face in his shirt cried even more. She would get her crying over with now. She wasn't sure what stage she was at. Shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, bargaining, recovery, hope, acceptance, reality. She figured she was probably at the stages of shock and denial. The other stages would come eventually. "Everything is going to be alright, honey."

Kensi sat up and sniffed, even though there were still tear stains on her cheeks and her mascara was smudged to hell. She didn't even want to look in a mirror because she knew that she looked pretty pathetic. Kensi Blye never cried. Ever. She hardly remembered crying at her father's funeral but she was sure making up for it; water breaking a dam. "I left him with a Dear John letter."

Mike just held her even more tightly. This was his best friend's daughter and practically a daughter to him and it hurt him to know she was hurting this much. Kensi never really opened up but when she did, you knew something was wrong. And Mike knew there was a lot more to the story than what was just on the surface. "Oh honey."

Kensi kept crying but looked up when Mike's wife, Kellie, entered the room. "Mike! Did you… Oh, who's this?" Kellie asked, quietly, knowing something was up. Mike looked up at his wife, and she silently got the hint to leave the two of them in peace. She knew Mike had 2 children he wasn't that close with, but she also knew that they looked like. This wasn't one of his kids. But he looked like a father to the woman, crying in his arm. Kellie had never seen Mike with his children, so this was new, the side to him she hadn't seen before.

"I don't know what to do, Mike. I don't," Kensi said as she leaned her head against the back of the couch. Mike placed his arm on her leg, letting her know he was there for her. Fuck, she thought. When did I become so damn emotional? "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do after this. I.."

"We take it one day at a time," Mike told her. "I'm here with you every step of the way. No matter what."

Kensi sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "Thanks, Mike."

Mike stood up and was about to leave to go to the kitchen to leave Kensi think in peace when he stood in the doorway of the kitchen and living room. "Everything is going to be alright, Kens."

She just nodded a reply back and walked around the back of the house. She sat down on the sand and over looked the ocean. It was early in the morning so it wasn't all that warm outside. The last time she had sat in this position, it was sunset and she was reading her father's sniper journal Granger had given her. That had given her closure. But this time, looking out onto the Pacific, she was opening a lot of wounds.

Kensi could hear the radio inside Mike and Kellie's house and the faint sounds of Jana Kramer's Why Ya Wanna was heard. "Why do you keep making me want you?" That was one of the lyrics and God that was Kensi's life. Why did Deeks make her feel that way? She had never felt that way about a guy before. Never. Even Jack and she thought she loved him. The thought of the word love made Kensi want to hurl, and she wasn't sure if it was just stepping off an airplane, morning sickness or just the sheer thought of the word love.

Mike had told her everything was going to be alright and Kensi desperately wanted to believe him. She really did. But she couldn't. She had just given her baby's father a God damn Dear John letter. Who does that? Oh right, she did. Truthfully, she couldn't really believe that she had done that. Kensi had always been one to face her emotions and fears, but when it came to Deeks, she was much more content to leave them in a box and never open that fucking box. Unfortunately, now, she was having to face those feelings she had left hidden for so long.


Deeks had given up staring at the letter. He was long past trying to assemble missing pieces and trying to figure out the real reason Kensi had written the fucking letter. He hadn't seen it coming, to put it lightly. He thought they were happy and they were about to maybe even embark on a real relationship. Sure, they had spent time undercover, but sometimes they didn't know if what was said was real or not. But the past few days… Deeks was almost positive that was real. The real Kensi.

It was 10 in the morning and he was drinking a beer that he had found in his fridge. 5 o'clock somewhere, right? He wondered if Kensi was really in Hawaii, or that was just to fool him. He heard a bang on the door and he really wanted to ignore it but he figure it was Callen and Sam. If he didn't answer, they would bust down the door anyways. So he stood and slowly walked over to it and opened it. He didn't even bother looking through the peephole or having his gun on him. To be honest, he was point the past of caring.

"3 words. What the fuck," Callen said as he got a glimpse of the LAPD Detective drinking beer at ten in the morning. Oh he better have a fucking good reason for that, because Hetty would rip him to shreds.

Deeks shrugged, leaving the door open for Callen and Sam, and walked back into his house, swaying slightly, as the alcohol had started to take effect. "Gotta do what you gotta do," he answered back. "Right?"

"Where's Kensi?" Sam asked. "Her phone is turned off, GPS disabled. What the fuck is going on, Deeks?" Sam sat on the couch, next to Deeks, and looked at him like he was out of his mind. He really didn't think Deeks was the type to drink a beer at ten in the morning. But then again, what the hell did Sam know.

Deeks stared into the bottle, a silent reminder of the letter. "Hawaii," he replied, still looking into the bottle. He looked up. "But that's all I know."

"Deeks," Callen warned. "You're not telling the whole truth."

He hadn't wanted to do this. He really didn't want Callen and Sam knowing about his private life. Especially his private life with Kensi. He had thought that they had done a pretty damn good job at keeping things between them strictly professional at work. Besides Hetty, who knew everything, he highly doubted Callen and Sam knew about his relationship, or lack of one now, with Kensi. And he didn't intend on it. So he didn't know if it was the alcohol or him wanting the truth that he handed over the letter to Callen.

Callen read the letter and his face went emotionless. He passed the letter to Sam. After Sam had read it, they exchanged looks. How did they not see it? Sure, the little hints but honestly, Callen thought it was harmless flirting. And truthfully, if their private life didn't affect their working relationship and partnership, he could give a flying fuck what they did on their own time. After all, no one knew that he was seeing Nell, either. But Kensi and Deeks? He mentally kicked himself for not seeing it coming, he was their team leader. And the fact that Kensi was pregnant? Now that was a bomb that Callen really didn't see coming. That one was way out of left field. Even for Kensi who had been known to drop things Callen hadn't seen coming. But this one was like a Hiroshima type bomb. One that would affect Kensi and Deeks forever. But the Dear John letter? Another one he didn't see. Well, he could and couldn't. Kensi had always been a little bit of a flight risk but he figured that the team, Deeks included, gave her stability. And she was one who wasn't afraid to voice her opinion on matters but… Callen was still in shock.

"How long?" Sam asked. Sam was in the same boat as Callen. Didn't see it coming at all. He had always figured that Kensi and Deeks would always eventually hook up. Hetty was known for her match making skills and her ninja like skills, and obviously it worked this time. And he certainly couldn't see Kensi with a baby. Nope, no way.

Deeks closed his eyes and hung his head in shame. There was no turning back now. The damage was done. Callen and Sam knew, so he might as well tell them as much as he could. And maybe they could get Kensi back. "Six weeks?" He guessed. It hadn't seemed like that long ago that the team went out for drinks. They had a lot of alcohol that night. He knew Callen and Nell went home together and he and Kensi went home together. It was the first night of many. Honestly, when Deeks had woken up that morning, he figured that Kensi would play it off like nothing, just a drunken mistake. But she hadn't.

"Any idea where she'd go in Hawaii?" Sam asked. He had been wondering that himself. He knew Kensi's godfather was Joe White, but after events that had happened, he didn't suspect Kensi would go there. Meaning, someone else on the island was pretty damn important to her.

Deeks shook his head. "I have no idea. I'm still in shock, really."

Callen nodded. "It's to be expected. But one thing is for sure, if Kensi doesn't want to be found, she isn't going to be found." Callen had said what they were all thinking. Tracking an elusive Kensi was almost near impossible. She had learned from Callen, and if he did say so himself, he was pretty good and efficient with going off the grid.

"I know," Deeks quietly said. He knew that. But the woman, who he might be in love with, was carrying his child, had ran off and he wasn't sure there was a lot to be done to get her back. She'd come back if she wanted to, he decided.

"Go have a shower," Sam instructed. "We'll wait here and drive you in. And then you get to explain everything to Hetty and we'll figure out what to do then." Deeks put the beer down that he had still be holding and made his way to the bathroom to go get ready.

Callen sat down on a chair in Deeks' living room and turned to Sam. "I didn't see that coming. Did you?"

Sam shook his head. "No. I always knew that they'd hook up eventually, but I didn't think it would lead to a baby and a Dear John letter."

"I didn't think she'd leave a letter and skip town," Callen said. "That's something I would do."

Sam chuckled. "Well, I can." Seeing Callen's confusion, he elaborated. "Kens has never had a stable relationship, before Deeks. I don't know what happened with Jack, but every time things went down the toilet, she'd move on and start serial dating again. But the thing is, she can't. She's pregnant. And she does what she does best- run away from her feelings and emotions. She's been avoiding her feelings for Deeks for a long fucking time."

Callen just looked at Sam. "You said a lot. I've never heard you say that much, at once."

"Shut up, okay. I can talk. You know something. So spill," Sam instructed him. Something wasn't right with this picture. Well, the whole thing was obviously wrong, but something wasn't right with the wrong, if that made sense. "I can't put my finger on it, but it doesn't feel right."

Callen was silent, debating if he should tell Sam. But he elected to. "Kensi had this boyfriend when she first joined our team."

"His name was Will, wasn't it? Whatever happened to him?"

"You were off in Afghanistan, or somewhere, on assignment. He cheated on her, things got messy. She told Macy she was going to Nebraska but I checked her flight and she went to Honolulu. So I started doing some more digging. The man that Kensi moved in with after her father died is a retired Colonel in the Corps. And he lives on the island. His name is Mike Richards. If I was going to be placing any bets on where Kensi might be, I'd bet there."

Sam swallowed. Now came the hard part. "Do we tell Deeks or not?"