Oops! Almost forgot (dang ADD!): many ideas and some direct events come from/were inspired by MelTheAngryVegan's HetaOni fanfiction: "Through the Hourglass" Unfortunately, though Mel let me use the ideas, Mel's fanfiction is no longer up.
I'm sorry to those of you who enjoyed the accents. I removed them because they were far too tedious to type. (See A/N on Chapter 10: The Mirror).
~~Guide Thingy~~:
Normal narration/what's going on from Italy's POV
"Talking"
Yang's mental dialogue
Italy's mental dialogue with Yang/Romano/Silver ALSO Italy thinking to himself/Yang
{Translations for things said in a different language language translated from} (Example: "Nani?!" {What?! Japanese} These are considered side notes for those of you who do not speak different languages (not that I do...) Will not be used constantly; will not be used for obvious translations like ciao.)
Please Read and Review~! ^_^ Your reviews make me want to post more! ^^
Disclaimer: HetaOni, Ao Oni, and Hetalia all belong to their respectful owners; who, unfortunately, aren't me. Select events and ideas in here belong to MelTheAngryVegan (who gave me permission to use them if I credited her; which I now have. ^_~)
Chapter 1: The Rumors
The first thing that I'm aware of is the sound of footsteps whizzing past me. I blink a few times until everything comes into unbelievably sharp focus. Just like always… I'm standing in the hallway of the World Meeting Place. I've just told America about the Mansion. I listen to his footsteps as they get further and further away. Judging by the sound of his steps, he's excited and determined. I heave a sigh once I hear him open and close the door. The resounding slam causes me to wince and rub my ears.
There have been many loops in which I have gone blind, deaf, and even mute. Because of this, my hearing has become at least 3 times stronger than any of the other countries. My vision, which took about 50 loops to fully return in my left eye after I received my scar, is now sharply focused. My eyes are now instinctively drawn to movement, though that's most likely just a side effect of being in the Mansion for so long. My hearing is so honed that I can not only recognize who's who from their footsteps, but what they're thinking, where they're going, what they're carrying, if something's bothering them, what sort of mood they're in, and even what sort of physical condition they're in, all from their footsteps. It's become a very useful tool of mine.
The meeting won't start for a few more minutes. I glance at my watch. Time moves so differently outside of the Mansion… My mind and body have both adjusted to the Mansion's time, so I always have to keep an eye on the clock when I'm not on the Mansion's grounds.
I head in the direction of the restroom. It's unoccupied, as expected, and I take this chance to study myself in the mirror. I don't even blink at the bloodstained reflection staring back at me. It's normal, after a loop. It's just another time-fragment… a side effect of sorts. I blink a few times, and the blood is gone. Well, not really. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to wash this blood off of my hands… I think bitterly to myself.
I undo the magic on my left eye, to give myself a short look over. The scar itself is pretty obvious. It's clear that it was a major wound. Even the eyelid is scarred. In fact, somehow, the pupil itself was stretched. It now resembles a reptilian slit. The pupil is tinted red, most likely from the blood—after all, it did cut the actual eye—but the tinting doesn't affect my vision in any way. The rest of my eye is normal—golden in coloration, with icy blue specks.
For a moment, I let my masks fall, and look at the real me. I see a broken Italy. No, not broken… a shattered Italy. Shattered beyond repair. Deep in the depths of my eyes, I can see the fear, the pain, the agony of losing those I care for, over and over again. I can see the raw, burning hatred for the wretched Things that caused all of this. I can see the dying hope of escaping with everyone, forced to stay alive. I can see a broken, desperate, dying soul that is in constant agony and turmoil. Then I blink; and it's gone—hidden behind a mask of stone; emotionless.
I lock away my emotions once again. I lock away the fear of making another mistake; the pain of watching those that I care for die; the hatred for the Thing and its kind. And along with those, I also must lock away my joy, to protect what little of it I have left; the love for those that I call my family, for fear of being hurt once more; the relief that will sometimes appear after avoiding a death, because if I allow myself to let my guard down at the wrong time, then I will lose someone. And that, I cannot let happen again. I don't know how much more of this I can take…
I put my other masks back on, with my fake smile plastered on top. I took America's advice from the earlier loops. Sometimes, he'd tell me that I needed to learn now to smile more naturally, so I did.
Lastly, I place my left hand over my left eye, and silently chant the familiar spell. When I remove my hand, the scar is gone, and my pupil looks normal. "Ve~" I say to myself in the mirror as cheerfully as I can. Perfect.
Before I can turn back to the door, a sudden burning pain erupts in my chest and throat. Crap. I run to the nearest toilet stall, and shut the door behind me. I lean over the toilet and start coughing up blood. The metallic taste always makes me sick. Not again… Damnit! It's getting worse...
All magic has a price. The more powerful the magic, the larger the price. I scoff. As if my sanity wasn't a large enough price—and time travel is very powerful magic. When I'm sure that I'm done, I wipe my mouth with some toilet paper. It wouldn't do to have blood on my uniform. That would only tip everyone off.
Ideally, I'd like to have everyone escape on a loop where I don't have to tell them anything. 9/10 loops I end up in a situation where I have to explain about the loops and the time travel. But if I can get them out of that Mansion without them ever knowing what really goes on in there—without ever having them know what I've had to go through for them, then they'll never have to live with this burden. They'll never know what it feels like to lose someone you care about. They'll never feel the pain that I know so well.
I stand up, stretching my aching back. Now I know how Japan and China feel when they complain about having bad backs. Of course it isn't because I'm old, which I am but that's not the point—it's part of the price. Well, sort of. It has to do with a different kind of magic.
My aura is white; I use white magic, which is ideal for healing and protecting. It's ironic, really, because I am the 'Yin', the darkness, not the light. I still don't quite understand how I can have almost every attribute of 'Ying', and yet have a white aura. I can use a few attack spells, but they take up a lot of energy. White auras and black auras are the rarest of all types of magical auras. While it's uncommon to find someone who has a black or white aura that's mixed with some sort of elemental attributed aura, it's not unheard of. In fact, most magical auras are mixed between two different types. England's aura is earth and black. Earth magic is strong, good for defense, and sturdy. Black magic is made for killing, cursing, and torturing. It is an ideal attack element. White magic and black magic both have the largest capacity. Someone like England, who has an earth/black elemental aura, has a much bigger aura size than someone who has an aura without black or white magic. As such, he can perform a larger number of spells, and many more complicated spells, than someone who has, say, an earth and fire type aura. It is exceeding rare, however, to find someone with only a single element to their magic. I have only light. My aura is purely white. I am strong, and powerful, but I'm honestly amazed that my aura hasn't been stained crimson like the rest of me. Here's the confusing thing, though. Yang, the "2P!Italy" inside my head, has an entirely black aura, the exact opposite of my own.
There was a point in time, a loop that I would rather not think about, where I was faced with a situation in which I needed to use a very powerful, very dangerous, spell. I didn't have enough magic, though, and ended up fusing my own aura with Yang's. This fusing of auras was permanent. I had already known that. I also knew that it would hurt like hell and kill me, so I placed a simple spell on the Grandfather clock to turn back time at midnight. But I wasn't prepared for it to hurt worse than hell. There's a reason why people don't mix black and white magic. When forced together, the pain is unimaginable. The pain still hasn't gone away. In fact, it's barely subsided at all. It's constantly there. Always. The more loops I go through, the more my health is affected. I frequently run high fevers, some of them even as high as 118˚; even a country wouldn't survive that for long. I've died a few times from fevers—and let me just say, that it sucks—and I've gone blind, deaf, or sometimes both, from them as well. I'm in constant physical pain, and yet… I grin and bear it. Not because I want to, nor am I obligated to.
I could just as easily die and let my friends die and we could all be together in Heaven with Holy Rome. However… I have to think about the promises that I'd be breaking, and about those who I'd be leaving behind. Austria and Hungary, who are like parents to me; Spain, who is like a big brother to me; fratello, who is, well, my fratello; little Sicily, my dear, innocent, little sister; and perhaps most of all, my country. Italy. Where would it be without me? If fratello were to follow me in death, where would it be without its personification? What about the other countries that would suddenly be left without a personification? America? Canada? China? France? England? Russia? Japan? Germany? Spain? What would happen to them? What would happen to our people? A country's personification has never died before their country was dissolved, but when we're injured, nothing happens to our country or our people. It's what happens to the people and the country itself that affects us, not the other way around.
So, then what would happen? Where would the pain of economy go? The suffering of the people, where would it go? Would a new personification appear for all the countries? Would we be reborn? Would we simply no longer exist? The chances of something happening are far too great. There are simply too many unknowns. That is one of the reasons why I must live. I was so selfish in the beginning that I didn't even think of my people, my country. I just wanted everyone to live, regardless of whether or not I died. I can see now that I was just being selfish; I simply wanted to be done with this hell and this suffering.
I heave yet another sigh. I take a glance at my watch. I should have just enough time to get to the meeting and sit down. I check myself in the mirror to make sure that there's no visible blood on my person. Once that's done, I head to the meeting room. I take a deep breath before I head through the double doors and into the loud, noisy chaos. I visibly wince as the yells, screams, and other loud noises assault my sensitive ears. I quickly wipe the wince from my face and put on a fake smile while doing my best to look as carefree and oblivious as possible. It took me more than 20 loops to learn how to keep my emotions under control at seeing my previously dead friends alive once more.
I quickly spot Germany sitting in his seat. Ve~ Germany looks ready to blow a gasket. I think to myself. He always looks like that, Ying. A sure sign of weakness is a short fuse. You should know that. Almost everyone here has such a short temper; Heh, maybe that's why they keep dying, because they're weak! Just like you.Yang says, startling me. Luckily, I've trained my body not to react to my inner conversations, so my smile doesn't falter. The only outward sign of me being startled is the slight twitch of my hand.
Yang. I'm not weak. I was weak once, but not anymore. I'm as strong as America, better at magic than England, faster than Japan, and if I use my magic, I can heal almost anything! My friends are only weak right now, because they don't remember how to use the skills that their bodies have already learned! I think back at him angrily. I really despise Yang when he belittles my friends.
Psh! Whatever. The only reason I put up with these morons is because you somehow beat me in battle. But remember; the moment that you let your guard down, the moment that you lose to me, they're dead. Yang warns me.
I don't plan on letting that happen… I say, ending the discussion. I survey the room.
France and England are fighting about something, while America eggs them on. Russia is watching China from across the table, and Canada is sitting to the right of America's seat, which is currently occupied by numerous McDonald's wrappers. Prussia, who followed Germany to the meeting out of boredom, is currently in the cafeteria area because he isn't allowed inside the meeting room (because he's no longer a country). There's an empty seat to Germany's left, and to the left of the empty seat—which is mine—is Japan, who's calmly sitting with his own emotionless mask on. I run over to Germany and give him a hug. "Ve~ Germany looks mad. He needs a hug!"
"Italy! Where have you been?! It's almost time for the meeting to start!" He says, trying to push me off of him. I obediently let him go in favor of going over to Japan to avoid his question. I hear him give a big sigh, as I take the three steps necessary to reach Japan and give him a hug, too. "Ve~ Japan!" I say, latching onto my, now startled, friend.
I always make my hugs mean something now, even if the person being hugged doesn't realize it. After all, for me it wasn't even two hours ago that Japan was lying in the cold rain, dead. I force back a shiver at the thought, and hug Japan tighter. I want to be able to hug everyone while I still can!
"Itary-kun! Please! Get off! You're invading my personal space!" Japan exclaims, flustered. I, once again, release him, but I also give him my puppy dog eyes. I know he can't resist them. China, who is sitting on the other side of Japan, mutters "So cute~ aru!" under his breath. Japan doesn't hear him, but I do.
"You…" I add some fake tears to the puppy dog eyes, making China mutter more things about me being cute. "…don't like my hugs?" I give Japan a long, teary-eyed stare, and I add in a sniffle just for the heck of it. I can practically see his resolve crumbling. After about three seconds, Japan sighs in defeat.
"You just surprised me, Itary-kun. Gomenasai. I did not mean to hurt your feelings."
"Ve~ Grazie~!" I say with a bright smile. I refrain from hugging him this time. "I'll try not to hug you too much, okay Japan?" Japan blinks in surprise and his body visibly relaxes as I sit down. Ve~ Don't worry, Japan. I won't hug you… Not yet, anyhow.
"Arigatou, Itary-kun."
"Ve~" I reply before seemingly staring off into space as the meeting begins. Before long, I fall asleep. I've been through this exact meeting so many times that I could say everyone's arguments for them; even Canada's. Ve~ At least I don't need to worry about losing my memories when I sleep anymore. Now I'm not distracted by lack of sleep… Ve~ So tired…
Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve~ Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve~Ve
"ITALY! WAKE UP!" Germany's loud, commanding voice jolts me out of a rare—and much needed—dreamless sleep. At first, I'm annoyed with him for waking me up during such a rare opportunity to actually rest, but then I remember where I am, and on the mask goes.
"VE?!" I yell out in faux surprise. "G-Germany? You scared me!" I exclaim, fake tears starting to well up in the corners of my eyes.
"Well then, don't sleep through the meetings anymore!" Germany yells in annoyance, but he turns his head away from me, uncomfortable with my 'tears'.
"Ve! Okay, okay! I promise! Please don't hurt me! Please don't be mad anymore, Germany! Ve!" Germany sighs at my antics.
"I'm not mad at you. I'm just tired, that's all." He finally says. I stop my Italian rant, and look up at him. I make sure to use my puppy dog eyes.
"You promise? You're not mad at me at all?" I'm honestly not even referring to sleeping during the meeting anymore. I just want to hear him say that he isn't mad at me, and then my mind will somehow convince itself that he's saying that he isn't mad at me for making yet another mistake in the previous time loop. I want him to promise that he isn't mad at me for letting everyone die again…
"Ja. I promise that I am not mad at you."
"Ve~!" I say happily. "Grazie, Germany!" Before I can say anything else, America starts to talk in an obnoxiously loud voice. "Yo! Dudes! Listen up! I heard this rumor about this TOTALLY awesome haunted house! For reals, yo! It's like, totally awesome! We should all go!" He's waving his arms around and everything. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and self-control not to sigh and roll my eyes.
I mostly tune out his rant on the Mansion and what most of the other people say. I've heard it countless times. Instead, I start to concentrate on feeling my people. It's so nice, to feel them... As a country I can feel the presence of my people, hear their thoughts, see their actions, and basically know everything that's going on in my country. From the three-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, to the depressed teenager kicking a random pebble down the street, to the man buying an engagement ring and everyone in between—I can see them all.
Before all of this started, I, like most of the other countries, found little to no interest in doing this. But, as the saying goes, you never know what you have until it's gone. We take being a country for granted; I no longer see being a nation as a given—I appreciate every second of it.
I focus in on a small town not too far from Venice. There's a small gelato shop there, and it seems really popular. For a moment, I place myself in the mind and shoes of a random citizen.
I'm suddenly a 23-year-old college student who's on break. I'm worrying about a paper that's due when break's over, but I figure that I can put it off until later. It's a beautiful day, and I have no worries. The strawberry gelato hits my tongue and melts in my mouth with a refreshing coolness. I give a content sigh. This… If only… If only I could stay like this forever… Looking up at the clear blue sky, the gentle breeze caressing my face and blowing my hair… Everything's so perfect… So…
"Itary-kun?" Japan's voice snaps me out of my fantasy. Part of me is annoyed for being denied the rest of my peaceful moment, but another part of me feels guilty for running away, even for a short while. What right do I have to run off to a paradise when my friends are in a life-or-death struggle?
"Ve?" I do my best to look like an air-headed, naïve daydreamer who has no idea what's going on. It works.
"I'm sorry, Japan, what was that?"
"I was asking you what you thought about America-san's 'haunted house'."
"Ve~ I think it sounds fun! We should go!" I say excitedly, jumping up and dragging Japan over to Germany and the rest of the group. Ve. I think it sounds terrible, dangerous, and stupid, let's forget all about it… Ve… If only that would work…
"Ita! Did you wanna come too? The Awesome Prussia's going, so I'll be able to protect you! Don't worry!" Prussia says, walking up to us.
"Ve~ Si!" I say. It's all I can do to keep myself from either rolling my eyes at his promise to protect me, or risking my mask cracking with the weight of the memories that his, so called 'promise' brings forth. You should tell your friend not to make promises that he can't keep… Yang says, but I ignore him. I give Prussia a large smile and happily say, "Japan and I are going to the Mansion! So you're coming too?"
"You bet! That place would be no fun if the Awesome Prussia weren't there! Kesesesesese!"
"That's enough bruder. We all know how 'awesome' you are. You don't need to shout about it." Germany says as we all walk over to the mass of, now 10, countries that stayed to hear America out.
"I agree, aru." China says coming up from behind us. "Japan, are you going to the haunted mansion, too aru?" China asks.
"Hmmm… I'll think about it." Japan says shiftily. Which is 'Kikunese' for 'no'.
"Awww, but Japan! I want you to come too! Ve~ Please?" I beg, hanging off his arm. I may not want anyone there, but it's better to have Japan come with us now, than arrive on his own later out of worry for everyone. I made that mistake once; Japan didn't even last long enough to find any of us before the Thing found him… I mentally shake my head; this is no time for flashbacks! Once again, I use my teary puppy dog eyes on Japan. I ignore China's wails of "tài kě'àile, aru!" {So Cute! Chinese} It takes five long seconds for Japan to sigh in defeat.
"Very well. I suppose that one look won't hurt, ne?" He says with a sigh.
"Yay!" I say throwing my hands in the air and doing a twirl. Japan, Prussia, and China smile at my childish behavior.
"Okay, dudes, let's see who's coming!" America's irritatingly loud voice sounds again. Everyone gathers around him. "Whoever's not coming, leave; whoever is coming, follow me, because I'm the hero! HAHAHAHAHA! This test of courage will be awesome!"
"Not as awesome as The Awesome Prussia!" Prussia yells. I roll my eyes discreetly, before throwing my hand into the air and saying "Ve~ I wanna come! It sounds like fun!"
"Well, if Italy's going, then I have no choice. After all, someone's got to look after him." Germany says with a sigh. I honestly don't know if I should be touched by his concern, or offended by his lack of trust in me. Then again, the Italy that he knows does warrant that sort of thinking…
"I'll go as well." Japan says with a sigh of defeat. He then gives me a small smile as if to say "Are you happy now?"
"Don't forget about The Awesome Prussia!" Prussia yells.
"I want to go too, aru!" China announces.
"Wherever China goes, I go, да?" Russia says with his creepy purple aura, causing China and everyone else to take a rather large step away from him. Though Russia's aura doesn't really scare me anymore…
"Well, you wouldn't last five minutes in an actual haunted mansion. I have no choice but to go with you, you git." England says to America. He may not want to admit it, but he still cares for his former colony.
"Ahonhonhon~ Angleterre, why can you not just say that you are worried for Amérique? Ahonhonhon~ I'm coming too~! I can sense l'amour in the air~! Ahonhonhon~"
"Man! Now I need to look up 'l'amour'!" America complains. Sometimes, I wonder about him… Does he really need to look up the word 'l'amour'? It's France, what the hell does he think it means? Sometimes, I really think that I'm becoming too much like fratello, as far as my cursing goes. I need to stop my bad language tendencies before it becomes too much of a habit. It could tip them off too easily…
"YOU BLOODY FROG! You know that I don't think of America that way! I swear one of these days, your bloody mouth will get us all killed." England yells, snapping me out of my thoughts. I shut my mouth before I yell out something that would most definitely raise suspicions. Damn it! I wish he wouldn't say those kinds of things. If only he knew…
"I'd like to come too, eh?" Canada says, but I'm the only one that hears him. I'm probably the only one that can see him right now, too. Japan and Germany are with Russia, China, and Prussia, so I decide to use this chance to talk to Canada.
"Who are you?" His bear, Kumajiro, asks as I walk over to Canada.
"I'm Canada." He states with a tired smile on his face.
"Ciao, Canada~!" I say with a grin, causing said nation to jump.
"Y-y-you can s-see me?! Really?!" He asks, excitement and disbelief lacing his voice.
"Ve? Of course I can~! Ve~ Why wouldn't I, Viva? You are the second biggest country in the world, after all!"
"Well, nobody ever sees me, so I just assumed…" He trails off.
"Well, I'm not nobody! I'm Italy!" Right? Am I truly Italy anymore? Or am I just a shell of my former self?
"I know who you are…" Heh, I doubt it. I mentally comment, "It's just…" Canada sighs. "Maybe it's because my brother, America, is so loud and, well, noticeable, but I just sort of fade into the background."
"Ve? Is fading into the background really such a bad skill to have? I think that it would be fun to be able to become invisible at will!" I say, twirling around a bit. "Then I wouldn't have to run away all the time! I could just, oh, I don't know, pretend to be a piano, and then whoever, or whatever's chasing me, would suddenly not see me anymore! I wouldn't have to run or fight!" I learned this trick a while ago. If I hint certain things to specific countries, then our conversation will flash through their minds when they need it the most. In Canada's case, this conversation should keep him from falling over showily or being a moron and trying to talk to the Thing when it finds him in the Piano Room. Don't forget about when he poured maple syrup, the smell made the Thing attack him… The moron…. Yang comments. Ve~ I doubt that he'll do that again, after all, one's subconscious does tend to remember these things…
"Well… when you put it that way, I guess it doesn't seem quite that bad… But the thing is, I can't control it." Canada complains.
"Ve~ I can see you. Maybe if you try to be of help to others, others will start to notice you, too! Or you could be annoying and loud-mouthed like your twin over there…" I say pointing to America. Canada grimaces.
"No, thanks. I don't think I'll ever be able to be loud and annoying like my brother…" After a moment of looking at one another, we burst out into laughter. And it might be just my imagination, but I think, perhaps, some real laughter snuck its way into my façade. When Canada and I are done having our "bonding moment", America, once again, commands everyone's attention. It's then that I notice Japan and Germany beckoning me over to them.
"Italien!" Germany says, coming over to me and Canada. "What are you doing over here alone?" He asks confused.
"Ve? What do you mean? I'm not alone, I'm here with Canada!" I say, gesturing to my 'newfound' friend. Germany stares at Canada for a moment as if trying to decode some sort of cryptic message. Then, suddenly, recognition dawns on him.
"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. You are… Ca… Canada, Ja?"
"Yes. I'm so glad that you remembered my name." Canada says with a smile.
"Who are you?" Kumajiro asks.
"I'm Canada, your owner." He replies with a sigh.
"Italien, we should get going now. After all, Japan is waiting for us." Germany says.
"Ve? Okay!" I reply before turning back to Canada. "See you at the Mansion, Canada!" I say with a wave.
"Okay, see you there, Italy!" He smiles back with a wave. As I run back to Germany and Japan, I hear the oh-so-wonderful question of "Who are you?" And an "I'm Canada." from behind me. It is only then that I realize my slip-up. Crap, I hope Canada and Germany didn't notice… After all, the groups for who goes with whom to the Mansion haven't been announced yet. At this point, America thinks that everyone's going to go together. But as long as Germany and Canada don't realize my slip-up, then I should be just fine…
"Italy," Germany starts once we reach the area where Japan is standing. I stiffen slightly, praying that he hasn't noticed my slip up.
"Si? What is it, Germany?"
"I was just vondering what you were thinking when you agreed to go to this 'haunted mansion' of America's. You hate scary things."
"Ve?" Thank goodness. He didn't notice... "Well, I was thinking that, because things have been so peaceful lately, it's been almost… boring." Japan and Germany are listening to me intently. "I thought that it sounded like something we could all do together! Ve~ I don't really see anyone anymore unless it's at these world meetings. Things were getting a little dull." Oh! The irony! These words that I speak are true. These were my thoughts when I first heard the rumors of the mansion. Fate is so cruel. So, so cruel. If I had only wished for something, anything else, then I wouldn't be in this hell. Before Germany or Japan have the chance to say anything, America draws everyone's attention, once again.
"Alright, that's everyone!" America announces, cutting the still ongoing argument between France and England short. "Now, let's go!"
"Wait!" England yells. "It won't be much of a test of courage if we all go together, you git!" America gets this, "oooooh" look on his face as understanding finally dawns on him. Then, America thinks—hard. For once in his life, he's absolutely silent. I'm pretty sure that England's eyebrows went up just now, too.
"I'm not sure I've ever heard Mĕiguó be this quiet for this long, aru." I hear China whisper quietly to Japan. Japan mutely nods. After almost a whole minute of silence, France approaches America.
"Amérique? Are you okay, mon ami?" France asks timidly, as if afraid that making any noise will cause an explosion, which, in a way, it does.
"I got it!" America shouts out, punching the air—and France—in his moment of inspiration.
"Hey! You punched me! My beautiful face! Amérique! Apologize!" France steams. America, on the other hand, ignores him completely.
"Why don't we split up into two groups?" America proclaims.
Heh, splitting up is the number one rule of what not to do at a haunted mansion. Especially when it's actually haunted. I think back to our past loops, and can't help but laugh at our utter stupidity. We must've split up more than 8 times in two days! What morons we were! What idiots we are! And the worst part is that I let them split up. And I'll probably still let the groups split up.
"Ve~ I know!" I yell out, surprising everybody. "Why don't we all split up into our WWII Groups? We all have our weapons from then, and we're wearing our old WWII uniforms too! It's perfect, Viva!" Oops. There goes my new verbal tic. Sometimes it just slips out at the end of some of my sentences. I've said it so often, telling everyone to survive, to live, that it's actually become a verbal tic now. Everyone stares at me. Luckily, I've done this enough to know how to get out of this situation. "Ve? Did I say something wrong? Why are you all looking at me like that, Viva?"
"Italy, what is 'Viva', aru?" China asks.
"Ve? 'Viva' means 'to live' live your life!" I say happily, trying to give the impression that I mean 'live' in a non-literal way.
"That describes you perfectly!" Prussia states, "I was getting a little tired of your old 'Ve' from your name."
"Aiyaa! You mean Italy's verbal tic has a meaning, aru?!" China suddenly shouts out.
"Ve? Of course it does, Viva!" I say.
"It comes from your name, Veneziano, right?" Prussia asks me.
"Si!" I answer simply.
"Who would've guessed, aru?" China mumbles to Japan. "Rìběn, did you know, aru?"
"No," Japan shakes his head. "I had no idea that Itary-kun's verbal tics had meaning."
"Dude, I totally agree with Italy's idea of going in our WWII groups!" America says, getting back on topic, which he only ever does when it's something that he likes. "Okay! So, my group, the Allies, will go first, because I'M THE HERO!" America yells out at the top of his lungs. Ve~ I wonder if the guards on the other side of the building can hear him… I idly wonder.
Honestly, why do I even go through all of this? Is my life truly worth living through this pain and suffering and insanity? What was so worth living? But as I look around, and watch England lecturing a smiling America, and a grinning France butting in and starting yet another fight with England, and China and Japan talking like good brothers should, while Russia smiles like the creepy stalker that he usually is, I see that my reasons for wanting to live are not my own, but theirs. I live for my friends, my family. I do all of this so that they can live their lives. And maybe, I want the same thing too… I can't remember what it feels like to look forward to a "tomorrow" anymore. It's not that I don't remember specific things from my life before the Mansion. That blew over a long time ago.
It wasn't until around loop… 210 that I lost all my memories. My friends, my family, became strangers. The only thing that I knew was that I had to protect them, and pretend to know them. Then, around loop 212, my memories suddenly returned. It was quick, sudden, and painful, but they returned; all of them; from my promise to Holy Rome to every single loop in the Mansion. In crystal clarity, I now remember everything. Every drop of blood, like a HD TV.
Before long, America and his group start to leave. "Attenzione! Be careful! Arrivederci!" I call after them while waving like a moron.
"Ahonhonhon~ Do not worry, my little Italie, we'll be just fine. See you soon~!" France waves back with a smile.
Soon, they're out of sight. I sigh. "They're gone…" I say sadly.
"Do not worry, Itary-kun, as soon as Chuugoku sends me his text, we'll go and follow them, alright?" Japan tries to 'console' me.
"Ve? Grazie, Japan!" I say, pulling him into another hug. He, once again, politely demands that I let him go, and I respect his wishes and release him with a sigh. Japan and his personal space. I'm not sure that I'll ever truly understand why he needs so much of it.
"Mi dispiace, Japan!" I apologize. "Ve~ I'm going to look at the computers. I need to charge my iPod, Viva!" I say with a smile, holding up my iPod nano. Japan smiles and nods his head. I dash over to the computers at 'Italian Speed', and quickly plug my iPod in. The World Meeting Place has a computer lab just a few doors down from the actual meeting room. Germany and Japan let me go to the computer lab by myself, thank goodness.
I know that I have three whole hours before we have to leave, but I don't want Germany, Prussia, or Japan to know what kinds of songs I have on my iPod. They're a little… personal…
Psh! More like depressing, if you ask me!
Well, I didn't ask you, Yang! I yell at him mentally. Gosh! Can't I ever catch a break?! It's bad enough that I have a constant stream of bloodstained memories playing through my mind, but to have an annoying chiaccherone {chatterbox Italian} inside my head, well, that just takes the cake!
Hey! Who're you calling a "chiaccherone"?! I'm not that talkative!
Ve?! Have you heard yourself?! You're practically the definition of a chiaccherone! You're like Nudge from James Patterson's Maximum Ride! No, you're worse than Nudge! You're like Nudge # 5!
5? What happened to 2, 3, and 4?
I killed them because they were too annoying; would you like to meet the same fate? I feel a Russia-like smile spread across my face.
Psh! Yeah, right! Like you could do me in! I'd like to see you try!
Oh, I can do more than try, but now isn't the time for this, Ve?
There you go with those goddamned ve's, again. They're so damned fucking annoying! Why do you say them anyhow?!
Ve? It's just a verbal tic! It isn't my fault, honest! Viva, might be, but Ve isn't.
Well, whatever. Just as long as I don't have to "ve" everything, or "viva" everything either. It's painful enough listening to your ve'ing and whatnot, but China's Aru's are damn near impossible to tolerate. I swear that when I get my hands on him…
You won't get your hands on him, because your hands are my hands, and my hands will never hurt my friends!
They already have… Or have you forgotten? That loop? I stop what I'm physically doing. My pain and anger show visibly on my face, as does my regret and guilt.
Ve… I can never wipe that loop from my mind; you, of all people, should know that. If there's one thing that I can never forget, it's that loop…
I cut off our mental conversation there. Instead, I bring up iTunes on the Apple computer. I honestly just need to make sure that my iPod's charged, but I like to see how many plays I have on my songs as well. It's another unsolvable mystery, but for whatever reason, the number of plays I have on a song on my iPod isn't affected by my going back in time. How that's possible, I'll never know.
I have quite a few songs on my iPod, but they mostly follow a pattern. I made my friends all record songs long before any of this Mansion stuff began. I still like to listen to them sing, so Marukaite Chikyuu is a definite favorite, as is Hatafutte Parade. There's also a special version of Marukaite Chikyuu that I made myself during these precious three hours that I have before each loop. As I said, I don't know how, but the computers, like my iPod, are also unaffected by time travel, so I didn't lose my data. The song is a mixture of a few different Marukaite Chikyuu versions. There's a lot of extra stuff that I did to it, so it sounds kinda creepy now. But that's what I was going for. The rest of the songs are similar to Bad Apple, Walk Unafraid, 24 Hours, I Will Not Bow, iNSaNiTY, Unknown Soldier (quite a few Breaking Benjamin songs) etc… In short, they deal with themes like death, depression, violence, and insanity.
I start listening to my songs with my headphones. After awhile, I check the time on the computer's clock. I have a few minutes before Germany comes to check-up on me. I take out my earbuds, and unplug my iPod. It wouldn't do to have Germany or Japan or Prussia know what kind of songs I listen to. After all, the Italy that they know wouldn't even consider listening to songs like Bad Apple or iNSaNiTY. Yet here I am, both songs memorized... Yeah… Somehow, I don't think that that would go over well… In fact, I've done it; it doesn't go over well at all.
I start humming the tune to Bad Apple, and after a little while, I find myself quietly singing the English lyrics.
"Ever on and on, I continue circling with nothing but my hate in a carousel of agony, till slowly I forget, and my heart starts vanishing, and suddenly I see, that I can't… break… free…" I trail off as I hear Germany's footsteps approaching. He seems to be tired, annoyed, and he wants to go home.
"Ve~ Mi dispiace, Doitsu, but we won't be going home for awhile…" I whisper, knowing full well that he can't hear me.
"Italien, what are you doing?" Germany asks as he opens the door.
"Ve?! Germany? You scared me! I didn't hear you coming!" I lie smoothly.
Germany sighs. "Italy, what are you doing in here?" He asks again.
"Ve? Didn't Japan tell you? I'm charging my iPod, Viva!"
"Well, you should come back now. We should be getting that text from China soon."
"Si! I'll be right there!" I say, letting Germany go ahead of me. I let out a sigh. It's already been 2 ½ hours since the Allies left. "Don't worry; we'll get out this time." I say, looking out the window to my left. The clear blue sky is perfect. There's scarcely a cloud, save for the lazy wisps of white cotton that float by now and then. Such a perfect day. Such a deceivingly perfect day. What a wonderful day to start a nightmare. What a wonderful day to return to hell. "Don't worry;" I repeat, "we'll get out this time. I won't stop until we're all alive, together, and free. I won't give up. This, I promise."
Edited: September 10, 2018
So? What do you think? ^_~ It's supposed to be kind of depressing, by the way. I tried to concentrate on the negative emotions that Italy undoubtedly has after going through so many loops. Please don't forget to Review~! ^_^ They keep me wanting to post more! ^_^
I'd also like to give a special Thank You to spiritwolfe123 (my first reviewer), MelTheAngryVegan (my second reviewer and the one who's HetaOni fanfiction inspired me to write my own), I CALL England HE IS MINE (my third reviewer, who gave great feedback as well), and Perpetual Dreams (A last minute fourth reviewer who made me very happy by reviewing). Thanks you guys~! ^_^
