A/N: Some dialogue is taken directly from the show. This will be marked with italic/bold. Also, the title of the chapter is the title of a book of poetry by the wonderful Andrea Gibson.

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Chapter 2: The Madness Vase

There was a euphoria associated with certain spells that someone who had never practiced darker magic would never be able to understand. It was a cure for her emptiness, as though someone had come along and scooped everything out of her, but the magic filled her completely until her darkness threatened to spill over like a tsunami and wash away everything she had ever known. Still she gulped it down greedily like a desiccated tree after a rainstorm, but every time she got her fix she would wrap her limbs around herself and sob until she was empty again.

In between, during the moments where the emptiness was so vast that she could swear there was an echo every time she spoke, Willow promised herself she would clean up her act. She swore she would quit magic altogether and then Tara would come back and fill the places inside her that she was scared to go. It never really took much to break her resolve. No more than a few days later she was, eyes black as charcoal, staring at the stained carpet from Rack's ceiling. She would run her shaking hands up and down her body so she could remember what it was like when Tara touched her. Sometimes Rack touched her, leaving aphotic trails of magic along her supple skin that sunk into her soul.

When she began her night with Dawn, she hadn't intended on ending up at Rack's, but here she was flat on her back with him sweating over her murmuring her pet-name in her ear over and over again. Strawberry. Willow shuddered from a combination of disgust and the black magic running through her, her eyes screwed tightly shut. She watched the rise and fall of a thousand nations exploding in a cadre of brightly colored lights on the inside of her eyelids and felt the magic swell and break within her, washing over her thin body like a blanket of fire.

Her eyes snapped open she and locked eyes with a demon dragging a limp body through a forest in what seemed like a totally different dimension. He roared at her and vanished as she went sailing to the floor. Afterwards, as Willow's pulse calmed, she willed the nausea in her belly away and straightened her clothes the best she could. She made her way to the door of the next room and felt some of the magic remaining in her system, which morphed the world around her into something barely recognizable.

She was vaguely aware of Dawn chirping angrily in her ear, and Willow giving the girl some stupid response that barely made sense. Her hands clutched numbly at the door as she shoved it open into the alley. Somewhere in the back of her mind where the magic hadn't completely addled her, she noted that everything around her was too vivid and moving too quickly to be real, but the sound of her and Dawn's footsteps cracking against the pavement settled her fear. Surely if she were imagining this, her subconscious would leave out something as mundane as the sound of their hurried footsteps, right? So when Dawn came face to face with the demon from her vision in she'd had at Rack's, she scoffed. No way that was real. The demon stalked towards her and Dawn, and Willow was suddenly hyper aware of her best friend's sister standing beside her trembling with fear. The urge to protect her was fiercely battling the urge to shove Dawn at the demon and run in the other direction. "You summoned me, Witch!" The demon snarled. As it glared at Willow, the image disfigured, caught somewhere in between an image of herself and the demon. She looked away, shook her head, and chalked it up to the residual magicks.

"No, I.. I didn't..." Willow began, but the demon snapped at her before she could finish.

"DID!" It accused in a gravely voice. "You raised hell with your magics." It reached out with a clawed hand and slashed Dawn across the cheek. As the demon raised the sharpness to his tongue, it's image distorted again and Willow saw herself, pink tongue catching on the tip of a blood red finger. Her shoulder length hair, once ruby red, had turned black along with her once green eyes which had mutated into obsidian orbs twinkling with amusement. Dawn looked incredulously back and forth between the two versions of her sister's best friend before lashing out with her long legs and catching the darker of the two square in the chest. The figure flew backward, crashing into a pile of metal trash bins and garbage with a clang. Willow took the opportunity to grab Dawn by the arm and run with her out of the alleyway, looking back to see the raven haired version of herself rise from the ground and race towards them with unnatural speed.

As Willow and Dawn sped towards the corner of another street, Dawn's step faltered. "She's coming! She's too fast!" The younger girl shrieked. Thinking quickly, Willow used her magic to unlock and wrench open the doors of a nearby car. The engine roared to life and she took off into the road, tires squealing the whole way along. She threw several looks over her shoulder to see if they were still being pursued, her throat bubbling with laughter as adrenaline shot through her. Dawn cast a horrified expression in her direction, screeching something Willow couldn't quite make out. Her heart was pounding in her ears. Willow turned her head to see if their pursuer had given up, and cheered in victory when the alley behind her was clear. Her adulation was cut short when the borrowed car abruptly lurched forward, slamming into a concrete pillar and bringing their escape to an end.

Dawn lifted her head slowly, blue eyes tearfully scanning the wrecked car for her Willow, who was nowhere to be found. She twisted to pull the handle on the door and winced, groaning deeply at the pain radiating from her left arm. She disentangled herself from the smoking car and whimpered fearfully. Suddenly, Willow appeared, leaping down in front of Dawn, a smirk toying with the corners of her mouth.

"Hey cutie." Willow winked, taking a menacing step towards the younger girl. Dawn stepped back nervously, taking in Willow's appearance. Dark purple veins crossed former redhead's face, contrasted by her stark white skin and blue-black lips. Willow chuckled sinisterly, following Dawn's every movement with her jet black eyes. "What's the matter?"

"You look terrible." Willow chuckled darkly again.

"Do I?" She asked, and stepped towards Dawn again until Dawn's back was against the brick wall of the building behind her. Dawn gulped. "Don't be like that Dawnie." Willow pouted. Her expression brightened for a moment. "Hey, Dawn, here's a neato idea." A gleeful smile spread across her cracked lips. "I've got a long way to go but I'm running a little dry. Hows about a little pick me up? You are a little green ball of energy on the inside, after all." Dawn looked around her, terrified, as the brown haired girl searched for a way to escape.

"Willow...stop..." Dawn cried.

Raven eyes narrowed as a sneer crossed Willow's pale face. "Mom! Buffy! Wah!" She mocked the terrified teenager. "Come on, Dawn. It's better this way." She raised her hand, her fingers snaking towards the shallow scars that criss-crossed the girl's abdomen. A moan of satisfaction escaped her as her digits made contact and began to siphon Dawn's life force. Green light engulfed their bodies as the magic of the key traveled from it's host to the parasite attached to her torso. Her pretty eyes fluttered closed for a final time as her form grew limp with the last bit of energy leaving her body.

"Mmm mmm mmm." Willow smacked her lips and cracked her joints, a look of sick delight affixed to her features. "Now THAT was good."

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In her call, tucked safely underneath the rag they had given her for a blanket, the real Willow tossed and turned as the events of her nightmare unfolded. Her heart rate spiked in dread as she watched herself drain Dawn of every last ounce of her vis vitalis. As the dream version of the former key took her last shaky breath, the readhead shot awake. Sweat poured from her despite the chill in the air. She backed into the corner and gathered her knees to her chest while rocking back and forth, snapping the back of her skull against the stone wall until stars floated in her vision.

"Please.." She whimpered tearfully. "I don't wanna be bad, I don't wanna be bad, I don't wanna be bad."