OMG I can't believe I actually found this! Yay!
Before you begin, understand; my brain was in a very disturbed place when I wrote this. Beware.
Disclaimer: — What is that? What is that, people? Huh? Doesn't the word "disclaimer" already say that I do not claim to own Teen Titans? So what's the point of writing the whole damned thing out? Can't I just say "Disclaimer" and be done?
O.-'
Expression
O.-'
It was Saturday morning, and Robin was up early. He stretched, gelled his hair, took a shower, gelled his hair again, and chose his outfit. Cheerfully whistling Ke$ha's "Blow," Robin dressed in tighty whities, navy jeggings, a pink "Breast Cancer Awareness" shirt, red fuzzy socks, and neon sandals before skipping down to the common room to make himself breakfast. Switching his tune to "It's a Small World," Robin opened the doors, grinning cheerily, and walked into the kitchen. Still whistling, he began to cook himself some eggs, threw two waffles in the toaster, and poured himself a nice glass of OJ. As he waited, he tapped his foot and began to sing quietly.
"It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all..." stumped on the lyrics, Robin paused for a moment before simply starting over. "It's a small world after all! It's a small world after all!" he kept singing the same six words as he waited.
Maybe you should dance, urged a little voice in his head.
Maybe I should! Robin thought happily, skipping around as he shook his hips and waved his arms to the imaginary beat, still singing. He switched to ballet, then tried to be hip and do a head spin...he failed epically, crashing to the ground with a thud as the world spun around him. A timer rang and a toaster popped out two golden waffles.
"Oh yum, breakfast!" Robin said, jumping to his feet by using his mega badass ninja skills. The world was on a tilt, but he still ran for the kitchen. He discovered that he had misjudged when he ran full speed into the counter, his chest and face slinging forward to hit the countertop before he fell heavily to the floor. Climbing painfully to his feet, Robin limped to the toaster and retrieved his waffles before going to the stove and flipping his perfect eggs onto the plate. Now singing "Firework" by Katy Perry, he put whipped cream and maple syrup all over the waffles and eggs before settling down to eat.
It was at this moment that Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire walked in.
"Uh...Rob? What are you wearing?" Cyborg asked while Starfire politely hid her giggles behind a hand and Beast Boy openly guffawed. Robin stood and struck a pose, putting his hands on his hips and jutting out his chest.
"You like? It's, like, so fashionable!"
"Okay, what did you get into?" Cyborg asked flatly.
"Can't I be myself?" Robin pouted. "Now somebody play some Justin Bieber, I feel like dancing!" he grabbed Starfire and pulled her into the open space of the common room, spinning around while singing "Baby."
"Dude! This is hilarious!" Beast Boy guffawed.
"Where's Raven? I wanna show her my new hairdo!" Robin pointed to his hair, which was gelled completely flat, and looked quite girly.
"She's meditating in her room," Cyborg said in a tense voice.
"Aww..." Robin pouted. "Shucks. You guys wanna watch a Disney princess marathon? Maybe Slade can come over too!" while Robin was skipping towards the computer to e-mail Slade, a strange look came upon his face. He stopped and looked down at himself.
"Friend Robin? Are you the alright?" Starfire asked in concern.
"What the hell am I wearing?" Robin asked in shock, pulling on his shirt and staring down at himself. Then he looked into the window and screeched like a little girl. "What the fuck happened to my hair?" he screamed to his reflection. Expectedly, it didn't answer him. At that moment, a video of the whole morning began playing on the TV, starting with Robin in his undies.
"Funny, I always took you for the boxer type..." Beast Boy teased. Robin covered his face and moaned in horror.
"How the fuck did this happen?" he groaned. At that moment, the door opened to reveal Raven. She had her hood down, her arms crossed, and a self-satisfied smirk sitting upon her face.
"That should teach you not to drug the tea of an empath who has a mental connection with you, bitch," she said monotonously before letting the door close. Everyone's jaws dropped.
"Dude! Raven...pulled a prank?" Beast Boy asked in awe.
"You...drugged her tea?" Cyborg asked Robin incredulously. Robin started grumbling under his breath.
"Damn empathy...fuck the link...Rohypnol...thought she'd blame Beast Boy..." he then stalked away to his room to pout while Starfire found a small DVD ejecting itself from the Titans' TV.
"Friends, what is this, and why does it say 'Robin's Gay Morning?'" she asked innocently. Cyborg grinned.
"That, Star, is blackmail."
Robin, hearing through the door, hit his head against a wall. "Fuck."
O.-'
I warned you. My mind is disturbed. When the disturbedness (yeah, I know that's not a word, but I meant to type it! Fuck you, spell check!) gets the best of me—or when a review gives me a good idea—I will update again! So NOW you can review! XD
