A/N:
Apologies for not updating frequently. I've been pretty busy with life in general and all that shit.
Thank you so much for all of the kind reviews, fav alerts and story alerts. It all means a lot to me.
BTW, this is not a remake of any other story on this site! It is all my original idea.
Disclaimer and Warning Note:
ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS FANFIC STORY DO NOT BELONG TO MYSELF OR ANY OTHER ORGAINISATION THAT I MAY BELONG TO. THE WRITING STYLE AND IDEAS OF THIS FANFIC ARE......CRAP. THE FOLLOWING FANFIC CONTAINS COARSE LANGUAGE AND SOME MALExMALE AND DUE TO IT'S CONTENT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE......THAT MEANS YOU!
"I'm in the dark again.....and I need your shinning light for guidance,"
I'll Try To Fix You
Written by mpkio2
Chapter 2
In The Dark
I can't believe what I had just heard my best friend ask me. Where the hell did he get the idea I was like that? Had he assumed I was like that due to the fact I hadn't once had a girlfriend? I just can't believe he asked me that question! That question! My best friend asking me that question! I mean.....what the fuck? He could probably hear the shock in my voice when I answered with a shaky:
"No!"
"Oh," I heard him reply in a quiet voice through the speaker of my cell phone. I had only phoned Stan five minutes after seeing his text on my phone. I now wish I never even bothered.
"Who told you such a thing?" I ask hoping Stan could hear the anger in my voice.
"Oh.....Well, Clyde told me...." The statement sounded like there was more to be said. It sounded like someone had told Clyde, who told someone, who told someone else, you know, like one of those stupid rumours that spread around a school like wild fire burning tree to tree in a forest that was the educational building.
I breathe deeply trying to calm myself and think this rationally. If Clyde was the one who started this stupid rumour......if he was the one that motivated my best friend to, unintentionally, ask me that question.....why would he start it? I never did anything to him, nothing intentionally, of course.
"Kyle?" I hear Stan ask. "Kyle? You there?" I shake my head, trying to stop my train of thought travelling along the tracks in my head.
"Yeah," I reply, my voice still a little shaken. "I just don't understand why Clyde would start a rumour like that!" I sigh. "I mean, just because I haven't dated a lot of girls doesn't mean I'm...." For some odd reason, I found hard to say the word itself. "..You know, that, right?"
"Err....yeah, right," I wasn't satisfied with that response; it felt uncertain. It didn't sound authentic at all. He didn't think....no! Not my best friend, not Stan!
"Wait....." I say a little louder as I straighten myself up from my slouching position in my computer swivel chair. "You, believe me, don't you Stan?"
There was a very long and awkward pause on the other end of the line. For a whole minute I heard not a sound; this didn't look good for me. I could hear everything and I become consciously aware of my surroundings; the only source of light in my room (a lamp on my desk) and the rest of my room in complete darkness, the mess of papers that was scattered in front of me, a book "A View From the Bridge", opened in front of me, a sound of a car driving pass the house outside.....my heart thumping wildly in my chest.
"S-sure I do, Kyle," Stan in that hurtful voice, that uncertain voice. It didn't sound as if Stan intended for the voice to be hurtful, but to myself, it was. It really did hurt. "Let's just drop it,"
But I didn't want to drop it; I wanted to hear what Stan really wanted to say. "No, let's not," I say in a strong voice. "Your answer didn't sound convincing......" I trailed off, hinting that I didn't believe Stan for one minute.
"What do you want me to say, Kyle!" Stan said in an angry voice. There was a slight pause before he continued: "Do you want me to say 'I believe you'?"
"Yes!" I stop, realizing what I'm saying. "I mean, no!" I was really getting myself confused now. "I mean.....you didn't sound like you was telling me the truth!"
"I-I was!" But before Stan could say anything else, I cut in.
"There! You see!" I say in a triumphant voice, my free hand flung in the air. "There it is again; that unconvinced and stuttering voice!"
"So, you think there's something wrong with my voice, do you?" Stan's voice sounded as if he felt threatened by my remark; he was.
"No!" I shout angrily into the phone. I had never shouted so loudly at Stan in my life. "You're dismissing my first question all together, now!" There was a long pause. Neither of us said a word, each other's words sinking into our brains.
"I'm goanna hold up now," Stan said in a dark voice after a while of silence.
"Go ahead," I say in just as dark voice. "See if I care," I hear a low tone in my ear; he had hung up. And it wasn't the fact that he had hung up that hurt me so much; it was the fact that I did care.
I didn't bother getting into my PJ's. I was too low, too upset to do anything. I dragged my feet to my bed and plunked my body onto the hard mattress. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling as if it was about to collapse on top of me. I shut my eyes, not wanting to see the impact on my face or body for that matter. I took a deep breath when I feel the impact.....the impact of what myself and my best friend was arguing about:
My best friend believed I was gay.
--
I wasn't surprised not seeing Stan standing in his usual spot at the bus stop in the early morning of the next day. Kenny and Cartman was there as usual talking quietly with each other. However when I made my presence clear to them both by saying "Hey," in a low voice, they both cessed talking at once. I looked at, angrily.
"What!" I say looking at both of them with narrowed eyes. "What were you guys talking about!"
"Nothing you would find interesting, Kahl," Cartman (the asshole) said in a sweet sing-song voice. He really was pissing me off now......and he was hitting my limit.
"Tell me you fat turd!" I shout with pure venom. "I'm not in the mood for this shit, so tell me!"
The asshole looks at me square in the eyes and says:
"No," in a quiet voice, a small smile on his face,.
"Tell me-" But I was rudely cut off.
"Where's Stan?" Kenny asks as he put a piece of his blonde hair out of his face. "I thought he would be with you," Cartman smiled at this being said. Kenny had a small smile on his face as well, now that I looked closer.
"Me and Stan don't spend every minute with each other," I say staring daggers at both, Kenny and the asshole.
"Aww," Cartman says in a mocking sad voice. "I think it's cute that you're gay for Stan," He smiles broaden. Kenny holds back sniggers.
"Fuck off, Cartman," I say strongly trying not to turn pink in the face. "I don't even want to talk about Stan," I really wished the bus would arrive already so then I could get as far away from this asshole as possible.
"Ohh," Cartman said in a fake dramatic voice. "The fag and Stan had a fight!" He then proceeded to laugh.
"Cartman, I'm not gay for Stan!" I shout loudly, wishing the asshole would die there and then.
"That's not what I hear," Cartman says in a sing-song voice. "The whole school knows," I try to ignore his comment as the bus stops in front of the three of us. I get on board and sit at the back at the bus, away from Cartman. But as the vehicle started to move, I couldn't stop but think if Cartman's words had any truth in them.
--
As I open the doors to South Park Middle School, I was sadly disappointed to find that the asshole was, indeed correct. As I walked down the corridor, random students would whisper behind my back, point at me, snigger with their hands other their mouths, as if I couldn't see them at all.
My face grew red hot and I wished I could stop the blood flowing to my head. I even heard someone shout out "Fag!" as I walked further down the corridor. I desperately searched the swarm of students, looking for a boy with brown messy hair and titled as the "Cutest boy" of my class: Clyde Donovan.
The bell that signalled first period was heard throughout the corridor. Students left the corridor and entered their classroom, quickly.
I spotted Clyde half-way down the corridor at his locker with Token, Craig and Jimmy, laughing away at some joke Jimmy had just told (Undoubtfully, about me). My eyes locked at the back of his head as I approached the gang of friends. Craig was leaning against a locker next to Clyde's, his spotting my approach and tapped Clyde's shoulder and pointed directly at me, a glint in his eyes. Clyde turned to face me and so did Token and Jimmy. They looked pleased to see me.....
We were the only ones left in the corridor...
"Oh, look what we have here, guys," Craig announced. "It's gay boy," They all laughed.
"H-h-hey," Jimmy stuttered. "Don't turn around or he mi-mi-might fuck you in the ass," More sniggering was heard. My face reddened and my blood boiled.
"Can I have a word with you, Clyde," I asked through gritted teeth, trying to keep myself from murdering any of the boys. Clyde looked surprised.
"He doesn't want to talk to you, dick lover," Token said in a strong voice.
"Yeah," Craig agreed. "He-"
Clyde put his hand up, silencing Craig all at once. "It's fine, guys," he said, in his normal voice. "I'll be fine,"
With that said, Craig, Token and Jimmy left, leaving Clyde and myself in the corridor, alone.
"What do you want, fag?" Clyde asked in a dull voice. I tried not to attempt to punch him.
"I want to know who told you that stupid rumour about me," I asked in a controlled voice, my hair under my hat, up in the air.
"Why should I tell you, dickhole?" was the reply I received.
"I don't need to justify my reasons to you!" I say in response as I point at him. "Just tell me,"
Clyde sighed. "I can't tell you,"
My eyebrows rise and my face turns in to a face of confusion. "Why not?"
Clyde turns around and faces his back to me. He gets his copy of "A View From The Bridge" from his locker, stuffs into in to his backpack, zips his backpack up, closes his locker door, and face me again. "I was paid,"
And he starts to walk away as he says "I'm sorry,".
I want to know who started this rumour about me....no, I need to know! Who the hell did they think they were! I want to know but......is paying money to Clyde really worth it? Do I want to know it that much? I think the answer in my head: yes.
I have fifty bucks in my backpack.....but I'm suppose to use it to buy a new study book that my mom wants me to buy; she expects me to have it when I return home.
"Wait!" I shout out. Clyde stops and faces me. "If I give you twenty-five bucks, will you tell me?" Maybe he will take it. I mean, twenty-five bucks sounds like it enough to buy a study book, doesn't it?
"Fifty," Clyde says as my heart sinks. "Then I will tell you,"
I can't spend the money on anything else but a study book; my mom will kill me.
"Just a study book and only a study book, Kyle," I hear her serious voice in my head.
"Deal or no deal?" Clyde says flatly. I can hear my heart beat in my eardrum. The walls are closing in.....
A dead silence fills the corridor, the space between myself and Clyde, greater.
The darkness had me where it wanted me, and I am stuck.
A/N:
So, will Kyle pay up to know who started the rumour about him even though it's not his money to spend?
Let me know in a review!
Thanks! :)
