"NO!" I snapped my eyes open, forcing my soul to retreat from the painful moment, my fists gripping like it was for life. Instantly I can feel every pair of eye landing on me again, this time amusement and bewilderment sparking in their eyes. Seconds after the realization that I had spoken the word 'no' aloud filled me with humiliation, my soul and sound retreated to a corner as my face started to glow bright red.

There was a few more strings of whisper that builded the fire which burned beneath my cheeks, and after that awkward moment passed, the real face of laughter unmasked in the class, sending punches and slaps on my face and heart.

Yet I wasn't the only one having the cheek a shade of ripe tomato red. There was a girl, blonde and scrawny, her gentle, innocent face easily telling that she was a shy person, stood smack in the center of the class, her face burning brightly like a metal heated, her lips withdrew into her mouth, bitten.

Apparently she must've been asking a question to the class, and my consciousness rose from my nightmares of the memories just in time to slap that word on her face, in front of the whole class. My actions pressed on me, and I gritted my teeth in shock that I didn't just humiliated myself, I humiliated the girl. They weren't laughing just at me, they were laughing at her, because of me.

Guilt added more weight to the burning heart in my body, crushing it to powder as I covered my face with one hand, slumping to the wall with the feeling scorching in my body.

What can possibly go right for this day?

The teacher quickly waved the laughter off with a kind reminder of the slipping time, and we continued with the introduction, but the remains of the amusement was lingering around, the giggles and whispers directed at both me and the girl.

I stayed firm and stiff throughout the whole session, but I didn't dare to look at the girl, to know how I hurt her. Finally the shrill ringing of the bell that pierced my ears released us after the last of the students introduced themselves.

"Alright, now all of you know each other, it would certainly be much more of a warmer society!" The teacher in front of me clapped her hands together, her teeth flashing to give a flashy grin. "Thank you, class!"

I spared a glance at my timetable as we streamed out of the class like smoke pouring out of a chimney, returning into the ever crowded hallway of lockers and teenages. English next, by...

"Mrs Titania Welzhuchonn Ulara." I pronounced it aloud and slow, my mind sparking with a little interest and I giggled at the oddness of the name. But my moment of happiness was cut by a sound of strength pushing a body towards the locker, and the gasp of pain made me turn.

There it was, a boy from the Physics class, bold and tough, like a massive wall, slammed the girl that I humiliated to a locker, sneering.

"Well, nice to meet you all, my name is Carolyn Snow. How are you?" He mimicked her voice, and everyone around him, possibly his gang, screamed 'NO!'. The coldness washed over me silently as I watched them repeating that moment again.

The scream turned into a chuckle, and the poor girl's face grew so red I felt like a spear just charged into my heart. My heart couldn't bear the weight, and collapsed, hurling itself into endless nothingness as my mind started to rummage around for a solution to this.

Everyone started to turn to me, and the chuckle started again, first as a whisper, before it turned into a roar of laughter.

"C'mon, NO!" One of them turned to me, chuckling, patting my back. I stood there, wordless, feeling the heat and cold stirring in me, my teeth still gritting.

He was making me bully her.

I looked at her, and we locked gaze, her emerald eyes lying on me, somehow sparking with anger, pure, flickering anger.

It wasn't uncommon.

The whole crowd silenced, waiting for me to speak.

If I bully her, I was joining forces with all of the people around me. That means I agree with them, able to be friends with them. It was a lifetime decision of my high school life.

I looked at the girl, and back at the people that was waiting for my cue.
"Stop this." I whispered, and the boy withdrew his hand from me, looking at me with halted fun."What did cha say?"

"I said stop this. This is stupid. Leave her alone." I suddenly turned into a hiss, and face him, my face gleaming with a face I had never gave before.

"Hey, you started this thing!"

"I didn't mean to humiliate her. I didn't mean to harm anyone's feelings. Now just back off." I murmured, shoved a hand to the girl and and walked off into the hallway, leaving the the lively crowd that was left wordless behind me.

"Leave me alone!" The girl threw my hands off her, her eyes filled with hatred.

"Do you want to be tortured even more in the crowd?" I questioned, shooting a look at her. She crossed her arms. "I'd rather be in the crowd than be with you." She growled, and I widened my eyes and she shoved me back with a attempt of her strength.

I cleared my throat, although my heart was already pricked with hurt. "Look, I swear, I wasn't screaming no for that."

No answer, only the murmurs behind me stayed distant, and our footsteps making contact with the tiles. "Please, listen to me. I didn't know about it, I was dazed, I didn't even know you asked a question."

"Who would scream no in the middle of a class introduction?" The girl turned back, her lips pursed.

"I-" The truth refused to come out of my mouth. Could I just tell her it was a flashback? Was it enough, and will she believe me?

"Well?" She crossed her arms.

Does it sound realistic at all?

"I..." I cleared my throat. "I had bad memory incoming."

"Oh yeah?" She glared at me, and I knew that the anger had clouded her wisdom. "Well, prove that."

"How am I supposed to prove a memory incoming?"

"How are you supposed to make me believe that you had a 'bad memory incoming'?"

For a moment my tongue was locked. Then when I was given back the ability to speak, there was no terms to debate back. She had tangled the logic of the conversation, and before I can say something that could at least hang on to the confusion in my mind, she ran off, leaving me alone.


The final bell of the day that squirmed into the teen's soul and told them they were free, and they rose, hauling their bags up and caught back with the latest gossip, the sounds filling up the room. Still troubled by Carolyn, I got up uncomfortably and fetched my glasses from my locker, put them on and ran to the car park, where my mom was waiting in a red Honda.

When I got in, I was crammed with questions, which wasn't uncommon.

"How was High school?"

"Did you make any friends?"

"Was the food hygenic?

"Are the teachers good?"

"Was the class hard?"

"Did you eat enough carbohydrate?"

"Did the magic kiss work?"

I slumped my head on the seat in front of me, not wanting to ruin her golden mood of crazy grinning and bright teeth flashing, burning in thrill about her miserable litter daughter's first day of high school. Trust me, her bad mood isn't pretty. "Fine. the school was fine. Everything was fine." The words came hard tumbling out, and more guilt stabbed holes my heart.

"Oh, i'm so proud of you my dear." I can hear her hysterical sniff coming out, and prayed she wasn't applying her mascara. "You're so lucky you're in a school for no bullies."

I looked up, surprised she would say that, but it was too late to change my answer.

But there was one truth.

That this crap wouldn't happen if she didn't move us here, move us away...


I felt as if my soul just shriveled up and died.

Even my body died for a second.

"We're... leaving?" I stammered, my heart empty.

"Yes."

"How long?"

She looked down at the floor. "Probably forever."

"W-When are w-w-we leaving?" I stammered, like I was just dug out of a chunk of ice.

"Tomorrow sunrise." Mom's final words clanged the conversation to a end.

That took a few seconds for that two words to sink into my mind, like a stone thrown from a high cliff slapping cold tar beneath. The light of happiness was snuffed out, immediately, like a fire being stamped out.

"NO!" The shock faded, replaced by a growing fire of anger that exploded, racing down my lungs and my empty heart, searing off the instincts in my mind. For a moment, I thought something dark inside me washed up, and my field of vision blacked for a moment, before clearing again.

"NO NO NO NO NO!"

My dad stood up slowly, watching me in horror that gleamed brightly in his emerald orbs. "Darling, you eyes-"

"She's mad, Arthur." My mom stood up, as if she knew what was happening. Dad shook his head, and placed a rough hand on his forehead to calm himself down. "Erica, I'm sorry, but it's for the best of us. Think about what we can have. Sausages everyday. Better school. And maybe a better friend for you."

"NOBODY CAN REPLACE SISTER NYA!" I sobbed, and ran away, far to Nya's house, into the silent carpet of the night that illuminated my path, into the embrace of the chilly night wind.

My foster sister was in for the shock of her life when I broke into her father's blacksmith workshop and ran to the family, who was busy eating their dinner in solemn silence and grabbed her leg, before hugging it and stayed there.

"I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go." I muttered, tightening my grip on her even more like it was for life, not caring if her leg blood circulation was stopping. As I can feel her warm, familiar skin pressing on me, and the fire in me seared, leaving smoke wandering inside my soul, and the tears couldn't bear lying in my eyes, beginning to slip onto my baby fat cheeks.

"What happened, Erri?" She said softly, stroking my hair as if she was calming the wild spirit inside down. "Tell me."

"I don't wanna leave Sister Nya. Don't care. Don't want sausages. Don't wanna go move to city." My voice was babbling simply like a retarded man, but it explained as best as I can with the broken heart and voice of mine. Nya suddenly froze, and pulled me out of her leg.

"Are you serious?" She whispered, and I bobbed my head slowly although every moment ached, the tears still leaking.

"Mom wants me to. Don't wanna go. Don't wanna go." I murmured, clutching my sister's hand that lowered. The tone was cracked, broken, hopeless, torn. I had never cried this desperate before. It was as if I was glued to Heaven for all this while and suddenly sent to Hell, taking everything for granted.

Mom's footsteps were starting to come into the audible field, clanking against the wooden timber floor which creaked and groaned, and I felt Nya's gaze tear from me, but I didn't care to look up. I looked down, enjoying the silent moments of forced oblivion, trying to slow my racing heartbeat and the blood to stop boiling. But it was all in vain. What can I do if I was leaving now?

Why didn't mom at least let me say goodbye to her...?

I thought the waves of despair hitting my heart again and again would keep me awake, but I was wrong. As the conversation dragged by, my soul slowly lost grip on my body, and soon, I was falling into emptiness.

I woke up, next day, without Nya, in the car, on the way into the city.


I looked up from my seat, tears piercing again, watching as the car swerved through the empty streets of IceLanders, the dim sunlight still quietly filtering from the car window, laying the warm layer of it on my jacket. I placed my hands across my chest, and dipped by head, before weeping silently, not even caring to take off my glasses.

The scar that was first appeared on my heart eight years ago, pained again.


I WAS HALFWAY WRITING THIS AND DIDN'T SAVE AND I ACCIDENTALLY REFRESHED IT AND I HAD TO WRITE IT AGAIN THEN MY FRIEND QUITTED THE GOOGLE CHROME AS A JOKE AND I HAD TO WRITE IT AGAIN

Moral: After every word you write, you press the save button.