-Explode-
-Chapter 2: I just don't know what to do with myself.-
-Spencer's POV-
I wake up to the scent of sweet vanilla coffee, that no one let's me make anymore. Sadly because they can't take the 'bitterness'. But whatever then, Emily is walking around the kitchen in her pajamas. Holding her phone to her ear by her shoulder just like last night, I frown at the thought for some random reason.
"Oh Spence hey you're awake, good sleep?" Emily seems to be way more lightened up than she was last night when Hanna said that weird stuff to her.
"Oh um yeah."
"Well come over here sleepy head." I stay confused but walk over there anyway.
"Here say hi to Hanna while I finish cooking the eggs." She says handing me the phone, I stare at it slightly for a little but before taking it in my own hand. I hold it up to my ear and do what Emily told me to do.
"Hello?"
"Hey Spence"
"Hey Han"
"So what has been going on? It's been awhile."
"Well I have just been hanging out with Em, what about you?"
"Oh um, I have been with Caleb. We have got to spend more time together."
"That's good, you two were separated for a while."
"Yeah we were. Has Em been doing good?"
"Yeah she is now, I have helped her heal...I mean get better."
"How did you do it?"
"Well the top thing was just to be by her side at all times."
"Oh well..."
"Ok Spence you can give the phone back if you want."
"Yeah sure, here." I don't even bother to say bye to Hanna, I don't know why id don't want to.
"Hey Han sorry I just had to finish cooking, so what are you doing?"
Emily is so much happier than last night that I don't know if I should question it or let it slide and be glad. Yes of course I want Emily to be happy, that's all I have ever wanted. But some selfish part of me wants to know the reason why. Why she is happy and who or what is the cause.
"Here Spence" She hands me a plate, with eggs, bacon and pancakes. I sit down at the counter without a word and eat it. From time to time I look up to see Emily's glowing smile, and golden laugh ring in my ears. This is where that saying 'the way to a mans heart is through his stomach' may apply. Only if I was a man. My heart sinks and floats in my chest, like it can't stay still when I am around Emily. If only I knew what I felt I would try to tell her. Try to explain to her, but first I need to understand it myself.
I lead myself to think that Hanna is the one making her smile, laugh and cheer. And when I do my heart sinks again. It might drown if I don't control these kind of weird and annoying thoughts.
"Oh really haha do you think Caleb will be ok with that?"
"Ok well let's meet up somewhere."
My head jerks back up from my plate, and my eyes lock themselves on her. She turns around and looks at me for a while. Causing my cheeks to warm, I quickly look back at my plate and finish eating.
"Spencie, will it be alright if Hanna comes over here for a little while?" My heart jumps at the nickname, she hasn't called me that since we were little. And I just can't say no.
"Oh yeah sure, I don't mind." I cover up my cheeks with my hands, to hide that fact that I'm blushing. I wish I didn't know I was so it wouldn't be so embarrassing.
"She said it's ok, what time are you going to come?"
"Yeah that's fine that will give me time to clean up."
"Ok bye love you, muah!" I makes a kissey noise at Hanna through the phone. Which throws me off.
"Spence, Han will be here around four."
"Ok what time is it?"
"Nine" She says with a luring smile.
"I will help you clean, then."
"Ok thank you."
"No prob."
I wash the dishes as she rinses them, between each dish I hand her, we look at each other.
"Spence so you want to talk about last night because..."
"It's ok." I rush out, my voice barely audible. She sighs quietly and her eyes wander away from mine.
"Spence I haven't told you things, that I should tell you." My ears work twice as harder and my heart starts to beat twice as faster.
"Like what?" I ask, shakily, and she takes a deep breath.
"Hanna and me..." She pauses everything she is doing and looks at me.
"Hanna and you?" I repeat back to her, scared what she is yet to say.
"Me and Hanna have this connection that I can't completely explain. But I will attempt to if you want to hear." I'm scared no more like terrified of what this conversation might turn into. But I am curious, this is what I have been wanting to know. What has been going on between those to that does require or involve me.
"I want to hear." I whisper, she takes my hand in hers, not caring if it still has soap on it or if hers still has water. The water from our hands drops to the floor, and I look as each drop splatters and expands. When I look back up she is closer and her eyes are filled with me.
"Hanna told me that she was in love with me last night, and I didn't believe her. But now I do because well...i hung up on her after she confessed. But I built up enough courage to call her back. And she still answered. She listened to all I had say and I listened to all she had to say. I have come to realize I feel somewhat the same."
"Oh..." is all I can say I know I sound disappointed. She notices to and frowns.
I let my hand slide away from her grip down her palm until our hands our no longer connected.
"No Spence" she whispers, grabbing my hand again.
"What is it?" I ask because I really don't know what is going on. Something tells me neither does she.
"I don't know this is."
"This?" I ask, raising our hands up, together. She nods.
"There is nothing...just best friends. You love Hanna, Hanna loves you. So this is nothing." I try to not seem so cruel, because it also hurts me to hear my own words.
"That's what I was going to explain to you also."
"What Ems?"
"I think I love you too."
"Emily you have to know if you love someone. You can't just think you do. You are going to hurt someone that way."
"But I just know I feel something strong for you."
"Don't just assume."
"Do you love me?" She asks me, and I can't focus on anything else other than trying to answer her question.
"I can't say because I don't know." A knocking at the door interrupts us and Emily quickly lets go of my hand, and walks over to the door, and opens it. Hanna stands on the other side with a smile, greeting Emily with a big hug and a small kiss on the cheek and undeniably it makes my heart burn.
