"Everyone, I'd like you to meet the newest member of the SOS Brigade, the shinigami Ryuk!"

It seems to have become usual for the proclamations made by Haruhi at the SOS Brigade's after school meetings to be greeted by a stunned silence by all the other members. Nagato is always silent, Asahina trembles in anticipation of what embarrassing things Haruhi's new plan will require of her, I remain stunned by the utter stupidity of our chief's plans no matter how many of them I hear, and Koizumi seems to sit cheerfully by with his impenetrable smile, silently enjoying everyone else's reactions, before finally breaking the silence by saying something like "What an excellent idea, Suzumiya-san."

This time, however, even Itsuki's determined smile faltered at Haruhi's announcement; he truly looked confused. Asahina was also confused by this particular development, looking around in bewilderment as though she was unsure of whether or not to be afraid. Nagato, rather than reading her book without reacting as she usually would, stared and squinted her eyes slightly, which may as well be a gasp of shock when it comes from her. It seems that for once I'm the only person who isn't surprised. Why should it be shocking to me that Haruhi has gone completely insane? It was only ever a matter of time.

"There's nobody there."

"Don't be a moron, Kyon! You're insulting our new member! He's right here."

No, Haruhi, there really is nobody else in the room, just the five of us who are always here every afternoon.

"You should call me Chief when we're in the club room!" she sniffed.

"That's never been a rule before!" I'm sure she'll have forgotten this rule in five minutes. Of all the club rules Haruhi has introduced, the only one she insists on enforcing is the rule stating that Asahina must spill one in three cups of tea.

"It's a new rule I just made up now. It's about time you started treating me with the proper respect, Kyon!"

In that case, Haruhi, how about you start treating me with the proper respect and calling me by my name?

"Your name is Kyon. That's another rule," she sniffed. "And it's chief. Brigade chief, in fact. Perhaps I should even promote myself to Queen. That's it, forget 'chief', from now on you can all call me 'Haruhi-sama'!" And then she looked up, presumably into the face of her newfound imaginary friend, with an expression I had never seen on Haruhi's face before. It was one of softness, fondness – come to think of it, the closest thing I'd seen to Haruhi acting friendly towards someone was when she had me in a headlock or was molesting Asahina. This was different.

It was sort of cute.

"Except you, Ryuk," she said, to absolutely nobody. "You can call me whatever you want."

What am I saying? This is no time to be thinking about 'cute'. Why the hell is Haruhi making such a loving face at NOBODY? Surely someone else was going to say something about this insanity?

"Haruhi, where did you meet this god of death?" Clearly I couldn't convince her that she was in fact talking to nobody, but since she refused to believe me I wondered whether it would be best just to play along. Much like we are told not to wake a sleepwalker because it is 'dangerous', even though nobody really knows what the danger is, I felt that trying to convince Haruhi that she was seeing things would not be a very good idea.

"Well, he appeared after I picked up this book." She threw a slim black notebook down on the table. "He said it was, his, but since I found it, it's mine now. He'd written all in English, though, isn't that weird?"

I picked it up and studied the cover, with its weird silver Roman letters. I should blame Haruhi for taking up so much of my energy that I can't concentrate in English classes and so do not know what the letters "DEATH NOTE" mean. But when I tried to open the book to read what was written inside, Haruhi suddenly jumped at me and slammed it shut.

"No! I mean, you can't look! Please don't, it's private! Or, I mean, what I should say is, I've written in… er, I've used it to write down my… well, it was your idea that I should write down what I think…"

I've never seen Haruhi this flustered before. She sounds almost like Asahina-san.

"Ah, of course, those are my secret plans and log as your chief! They're strictly confidential for an idiot like you!"

Under normal circumstances, hearing words like that from Haruhi would be interesting enough in itself. However, I stopped listening to her stumbling monologue almost straight away, so if anything she said was important, perhaps somebody could inform me?

There was no way I could have paid attention to Haruhi's mumblings, because behind her had suddenly appeared a monster. It was like a skeleton with black leather for skin, a good metre taller than any human I had ever met. Its fingers were elongated into long, sharp claws and they dangled in front of its knees as it hunched over, presumably from the weight of the large, batlike wings on its back, or perhaps from constantly having to crouch to get through doorways. The strangest of all was its face, with perfectly circular and unnaturally large eyes, and a smile that literally went from ear to ear, cracking the face open into an utterly creepy leer. This was without a doubt the ugliest creature I had ever met.

But there's no excuse for rudeness.

"So, you must be Ryuk, the god of death."

"Yes," said the monster, "But you don't seem scared or surprised to see me. Doesn't my appearance shock you?"

I looked over him again. The shock of black hair that stood straight up and the stitches that seemed to hold his skin together were extraordinary – he could have walked straight out of a horror movie. As I watched, he folded up his enormous wings and tucked them out of sight under the long black feathers that sprouted from his shoulders.

"Not really."

A normal person, I am sure, would by now be screaming in terror at the sight of such an unnatural and horrifying creature appearing out of nowhere. I must admit that when I first saw Ryuk I was very surprised, but after seeing my class rep use her data manipulation powers to mutate the classroom so that she could murder me, or being transported to a fake dimension to fight a giant bug created by the logo Haruhi drew, or simply the fact that all the people I spend my free time with are supernatural beings, this doesn't surprise me so much. Damn you, Haruhi, you've really corrupted me! I used to act like a sane person!

The only difference that Ryuk's appearance makes to me is that now I know Haruhi isn't completely delusional. Still insane in her usual way, but not hallucinating. A god of death in the club room or a delusional Haruhi? I don't know which prospect is better.

Then again, Haruhi was talking to Ryuk before he appeared. Does that mean she is crazy? At least a bit?

"Only humans who have touched the Death Note can see me," Ryuk explained, and I noticed that Asahina and Koizumi were now looking at me as though I were the crazy one.

"Why didn't you tell us that before?"

"You didn't address me as chief! And how was I supposed to know? He didn't appear to me until a few days after I found the book."

"She doesn't seem to listen to me," Ryuk added. "She appears to be too excited to pay attention."

Haruhi ignored him. Aha, so even her precious new favourite Ryuk-chan gets the cold shoulder when he complains! Wait, why am I pleased by this? It could be fortunate that Haruhi has Ryuk to latch onto now.

Koizumi seemed to have finally regained his composure and restored a pleasant smile to his face. "Excuse me," he said, "But as Kyon seems to have some idea what's going on, perhaps he could enlighten us?"

"Haruhi, you should –"

"Haruhi-sama."

"… pass the Death Note around."

"I can't!" she said, defiantly, hugging the notebook to her chest. "It's top secret!"

"Yes, I know that, but nobody else will see Ryuk unless they touch the notebook."

Her face softened slightly, but she still looked stubbornly reluctant to let anyone else hold the book. Haruhi said at the beginning that the purpose of this club was to find mysterious beings and have fun with them, but now that she's found one, she's leaving the rest of us out. Was that really the purpose of the SOS Brigade, or were we just here to entertain her until she found what she really wanted?

She walked over to Ryuk, her face less stubborn now and more concerned. Clutching the book even more tightly to her chest, I heard her murmur to him, "I thought you gave this book to me?"

Is it that she doesn't want to share the god of death who 'chose' her with anybody else?

"The book is yours," Ryuk said to her. "Other humans who touch the Death Note will be able to see and hear the god of death who is its original owner, or you can lend it to another person, but you will remain the owner of the Death Note unless you choose to return it. And so you are the only human who is possessed by me."

Possessed by a god of death? Doesn't that bother you, Haruhi? Any normal person would be terrified to find such a being 'possessing' them.

Haruhi smiled up at Ryuk and loosened her arms. "Of course," she murmured again. "Only me."

"Only you."

Now this is just annoying. Haruhi, if you want to have a romantic moment with your creepy god of death, take it somewhere else! Some things are too weird even for this room.

"Okay, I've decided!" Haruhi announced, smiling cheerfully a smile that should strike terror into the hearts of everyone present. "You're all going to meet Ryuk-san now! Take this book!"

She thrust it at Koizumi first; he looked at it curiously and then automatically tried to open it.

"No!" Haruhi said instantly. "Don't look inside! Just touch it!"

"Whatever Suzumiya-san says," he replied, cheerfully, and then turned to Ryuk. "I'm glad I can finally meet you, Ryuk-san!"

At least act a little surprised that a huge, ugly monster has just appeared in front of you, Koizumi. Even though this person claims that he is a normal human being when he is not in a Sealed Reality, it is impossible to believe that this is the way a normal human being would behave. Nothing about this person is normal.

I suddenly felt fingers digging into my arms and realised that Asahina-san had dropped the Death Note as soon as she touched it and was staring at Ryuk in absolute terror. Haruhi snatched the notebook up from the table and turned her back on us.

"E… Eh? H-how is… is this person… god…" Asahina lapsed into silence and hid her face against my shoulder. I hardly dared believe my luck; with Haruhi's attention still elsewhere, I put my arm around the angel clinging to my shirt. It would be far easier to believe that Asahina-san is what a god should look like than the crazy girl waving around a notebook or the ugly monster in the corner of the room. Ryuk, even if your presence becomes troublesome, I must thank you later for giving me this rare opportunity!

But even as my senses were overwhelmed by the heavenly feeling of holding onto Asahina, I could not help but notice Haruhi hovering nervously over Nagato, who was still holding the book. She gave a brief look at Ryuk but apparently an alien is not interested in gods of death. But of course, she is interested in the book. It's as though she has some kind of spiritual affinity to books. Her eyes were narrowed, and I could just see her hands gripping the book a little slighter than was necessary.

Is she annoyed because Haruhi won't let her read the book? That is an amusing thought. Perhaps Haruhi has finally found something that can make Nagato angry.

"That's enough!" Haruhi snatched the book back from her. "It's mine!"

Asahina finally realised what she was doing and jumped away from me a little too slowly as Haruhi turned her glare on us. Although she did overturn a cup of tea as Haruhi is always telling her to. Shouldn't you congratulate her on that, Haruhi?

"There are more important things than tea right now!" Haruhi marched back to the front of the room, next to Ryuk, and brandished the note in the air again as though it were a flag or something equally pointless and showy. "Everyone, now that you can all see him, meet the newest member of the SOS Brigade, Ryuk the god of death!"

"Pleased to meet you," Ryuk said, with the closest thing to a bow he could manage for a very tall monster in a small room.

"This is Itsuki, my second in command," Haruhi said, pointing, "And next to him is Kyon, and our mascot character, Mikuru-chan, who is mopping up the tea, and that's Yuki in the corner, but don't worry if she doesn't talk to you, she doesn't talk to anyone else, either."

Ryuk's eyes were fixed on me, though. Stop staring like that, it's creepy!

"Your name isn't Kyon," he said.

What? How did you know that, you creepy bat thing?

"Hmm, should I reveal shinigami secrets to a human?" he wondered aloud, touching the end of a finger to his chin. "Perhaps if you knew about those things, you wouldn't like me any more."

What makes Ryuk think I like him now? While it's hard to read Ryuk's expressions, somehow I don't think he really cares whether we like him or not.

Haruhi, as always, is oblivious to the finer points of emotion. "Ryuk! As the owner of the Death Note and leader of the SOS Brigade, I command you to tell me everything!"

"I can see people's names by looking at their faces," Ryuk said, with a shrug, "And I can also see the date that you are destined to die."

Wow, that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard. But I guess it's what you have to expect from a god of death.

"Kyon is my nickname. Everybody calls me that, though I wish they wouldn't."

"May I address you as Kyon, or should I use…"

"Kyon is Kyon!" Haruhi declared. "I told you before, that's a rule! And if you're going to be a part of the SOS Brigade then you have to follow my rules!"

"I thought you didn't like rules," said Ryuk. Haruhi just ignored him. Don't worry, Ryuk, you'll get used to it. The only rules Haruhi obeys are the ones she makes herself.

"Shut up, Kyon. You should show more respect to our new member!"

Ah, that's right, there are more important things to worry about. Haruhi, this person, can't be a member of the SOS Brigade.

"Why not?" she glared at me.

"Well, he's not a student at this school."

"Moron. The whole purpose of the SOS Brigade is to find mysterious beings like aliens, time travellers and espers and have fun with them! And that includes gods of death!"

Are you just going to accept that, Ryuk? Surely the reason you came to us was not just to join this pointless club?

"Haruhi is the owner of the Death Note. I must follow her as long as she has it," Ryuk replied. It seemed that it wasn't possible for Ryuk to wear any expression other than a creepy grin, but I didn't like the way he looked at Haruhi. If it weren't for his face being stuck that way, I don't think he would be smiling about that.

"That's settled, then!" Haruhi announced.

"Nothing is settled! What is Ryuk going to do all day? What are we going to do with him? We can't just…"

Haruhi ignored me, of course. She had already turned her back on me and was looking instead to the plastic bag she had brought in with her. I should have noticed it earlier. Koizumi, too, knew what was coming, and so stood up and looked back at me, waiting for me to follow. Asahina-san's eyes widened; she stood up, having finished cleaning up the spilled tea, and took a few steps backward, even though she knew there was no escape for her. Nagato, of course, showed no reaction at all. Only Ryuk was mystified when Haruhi pulled a wad of shimmering black cloth out of the bag and began advancing towards Asahina-san.

"And to celebrate this most momentous occasion in this club's history, a new costume!"

I knew now to get well out of the room as soon as Haruhi and Asahina started this routine – if we were still in the room when Haruhi got her hands on Asahina, somehow I was the one who always got kicked out of the door while Koizumi was allowed to go peacefully. At any rate, we both escaped today without any damage and stood in the corridor outside, Koizumi with an empty teacup still in his hand.


This isn't the best place for a chapter break, but if I posted the scene the way I wanted to it would have been eight to ten thousand words long and that seems a bit long for a fanfic chapter on FFN. Reviews and concrit appreciated!