Note: The conclusion. I hope it satisfies. Beware-this chapter is LONG.
Chapter Two
Shortly after Tim left the lab, the team was called out to Quantico to investigate the brutal murders of a Navy lieutenant with high security clearance and her husband.
As Tim shot pictures of the scene, his mind was instead focused on the argument that took place in Abby's lab that morning.
What had gotten into her? Abby had been disappointed that she couldn't keep Jethro two years ago, but she had also been the one to see that Jethro was a good dog for him, even if he still didn't agree with the way she gave him his pet.
But he couldn't deny that when not hopped up on drugs, Jethro really was a wonderful dog. Tim would be the first to admit that he was apprehensive at first taking Jethro in, fearful even. But after spending some time with the German shepherd, he had grown to love and care for him.
To have Abby throw his initial aversion to taking Jethro in back in his face this morning sent Tim for a proverbial spin. Where had her sudden anxiety for the welfare of their favorite canine come from?
Maybe he should have calmed her down and tried talking to her, Tim decided on the drive back to NCIS. He did feel a little guilty for yelling at her like that this morning, even if he did feel somewhat justified.
Tim tipped his head back against the cabin wall of the truck. Was it so wrong that Abby wanted to take care of Jethro?
Could she actually do a better job than he could? Well, that was a given. Abby had always prided herself on loving the dog twice as much as he did. He'd always told her that the relationship between him and his dog was just different. And when Abby came over for a playdate with him, she usually spoiled him rotten, leaving Tim to argue back to his dog that no, he could not have another doggie treat because he'd already had four or five in the last couple of hours, courtesy of Abby.
(This resulted in drooping ears and his tail between his legs. But Jethro usually came around when Tim held up his leash and his favorite blue rubber ball.)
Sighing, Tim shook his head. He felt like he was going in circles.
What were the bare bones of the situation?
Abby wanted his dog.
Tim did not want to give Abby his dog.
Abby had accused him of not being able to take good enough care of Jethro.
Tim denied every word.
Abby had bribed him with food this morning.
Tim wasn't sure what to make of this underhanded but delicious tactic.
Abby had brought up Tim's initial reluctance to take Jethro in, also including the fact that Tim had shot Jethro at the time.
Tim pointed out that yes, he and Jethro had problems initially, but now he really loved his dog and would not give him to Abby.
Tim nodded. Yup, that about covered it.
He frowned. Had he missed something in Abby's behavior recently? Aside from this morning, had Abby been un-Abby?
"PROBIE!"
Tim jumped slightly and looked at the senior field agent, blinking owlishly. "Huh?"
"Dead lieutenant with high security clearance. Heavily encrypted files on her computer that could be very juicy. Oh, and her equally dead husband. Remember? Man, where are you today? The Boss is gonna kill us if we're not at our desks working in the next five minutes!"
Tim hurried out of the truck and up to the bullpen while Tony and Ziva carted the evidence down to Abby's lab. He'd been thinking so hard about this morning, he'd been barely paying attention to what was going on around him at the crime scene, and really didn't remember the ride back. He didn't even remember checking the computer at the scene, oops.
At least he had the photos in his backpack that he could put up on the plasma, so he wouldn't look completely lost.
By the time he got the photos uploaded to his computer, and brought up the lieutenant's records up on the screen, Tony and Ziva were back in the bullpen, and had begun tossing around theories. Forcing his frustrations with Abby to the back of his mind in order to concentrate on his job, Tim gave his full focus to his team, listening and paying attention and thinking all at once until he came up with something that he would interject with.
Gibbs decided they needed more info on the husband, who currently looked like the initial target, even if his records were clean on the surface.
"But McGee, I still want you to break the encryption on those files. I want to know what's in them and if they could tie into our case. There's a reason the lieutenant's time of death is a good forty minutes before her husband."
Tim nodded, and sighed inwardly. He wasn't looking forward to working in Abby's lab after this morning, but his job required it of him, so he would do it.
As he stepped into Abby's lab for the second time that day, Tim noticed that her music was louder than normal, and Abby seemed to be slumped at her workbench as she applied dyes and other chemicals to fiber and hair samples getting ready to be tested. He was surprised, since even in a bad mood, Abby's posture while working was usually erect and alert.
Tim figured it was too much to ask for, but maybe she realized she'd acted wrongly this morning. It would be best for her to come out and say it herself, though.
"Abby!" he called out over the music. She looked up at him, a distracted expression on her face.
"Where's the lieutenant's computer? I need to start working on cracking that encryption."
She frowned a bit at him, and Tim figured she was a bit disappointed that he was simply sticking to business today. Well, this stiffness between them was all her fault to begin with, thanks to her antics this morning. He wasn't going to put up with more when he had work to do, and especially not when there was a good chance they wouldn't be leaving until very, very late tonight, possibly not at all, if the two unopened boxes underneath the workbench were any indication.
He was surprised to see her eyes flash at him in anger as she silently pointed to her office. Tim rolled his eyes and walked to her office, where the lieutenant's computer tower sat on her desk, waiting to be taken apart so the hard drive could be mirrored onto one of the more powerful lab computers.
She was being insufferable! She had no reason to be angry with him! If anything, he should be angry with her!
But while Tim was annoyed with her, frustrated with her, he was also sure there was an underlying reason for Abby's peculiar behavior today. Because when Abby was being un-Abby, then there was something wrong on her end.
And he couldn't be angry with her if there was something wrong, because it usually meant she wasn't being herself, even if she tried to be.
And in true Abby fashion, she probably didn't even realize that she was acting odd where everyone else was concerned.
But Abby hadn't said anything to Tim.
Could she be denying an issue? That seemed like something Abby would do.
Tim thought back over the last few months, trying to think if anthing weird had happened that could still be upsetting Abby now.
Oh. That trip.
But Abby had been debriefed when she came back to DC, hadn't she?
Tim frowned as he worked through the layers of encryption in front of him, his mind still wandering in circles.
If what happened on that trip to L.A. was what was causing Abby to act so oddly today, why had he never noticed anything wrong before now? Had she just been able to hide it that well?
But surely Gibbs would have noticed, right? Gibbs knew everything! And Gibbs hadn't let them know that something was wrong with Abby.
So maybe Gibbs didn't know? Or did, but was waiting for her to come to him. Hmm, that was a plausible theory.
Tim sighed, and glanced at his watch as his stomach growled. He hadn't eaten anything since that delicious breakfast-bribe, and now it was nearly five in the evening. Maybe he could head up to the break room and grab a quick snack from the vending machine?
He glanced out into the lab, and found it empty. Abby must have gone to take a break or something.
Making a quick decision, Tim got on the elevator, and took it up to the floor above the bullpen, where the break room was located. He picked his snack (Nutter Butters, yum) and a drink, and hopped back onto the elevator and headed back to the lab to get back to work.
He had plenty of practice eating and typing at the same time thanks to his years at MIT, after all.
Having pushed his problems with Abby away for the time being, Tim concentrated on the code in front of him, deciding he really didn't want to be at work all night if he didn't have to be. Six hours later, it was near midnight, but he had broken the encryption.
Going through the files (Tony was right—these were juicy and treasonous), he downloaded them onto a flash drive, and closed down the workstation he was using in Abby's office as he prepared to head upstairs to his desk.
He frowned, realizing for the first time that day that Abby hadn't interrupted him once while he was working. Tim couldn't help but feel a little disheartened by it, but wasn't sure what to do. Abby was in the wrong this morning, even if she was actually bugged about something else. And she was staying mum on the latter anyway, so he couldn't even broach the subject, even if his hunch seemed like a pretty good one.
Abby-logic had never been linear (except where science and forensics were concerned), and if she thought it was logical to give him the silent treatment for not agreeing to give Jethro to her when he was valid in doing so, then Tim didn't have a choice but to wait for Abby to come to her senses.
Shaking his head, and realizing just how tired and sore he was after sitting in one position staring at a computer screen, Tim made his way out into Abby's lab with the intention of getting the flash drive up to the bull pen and himself out the door and on his way home.
So he was momentarily surprised to see Abby slumped at her workstation, her head resting on her folded arms, and her eyes closed in sleep.
And from what Tim could see, whatever Abby was dreaming wasn't peaceful or pleasant.
0
0
She's standing at her work station in her lab, analyzing the results Major Mass Spec spat out at her.
Suddenly, the lights go out, and gradually, the hum of her machines fades into nothing.
All she sees is the play of shadows with the faint light of street lamps streaming through her lab windows.
Her heart pounds in fear as she suddenly hears the scrape of shoes on her lab floor, except that the sound is more like boots scraping against the asphalt of a parking lot. Warm, moist air ghosts over her right ear and the back of her neck.
"Abby…"
No, no he can't be here. He's not in DC. He's dead, he's dead, he's dead. Callen and Sam killed him. She saw the bullets rip through him in that warehouse.
"Abby…"
But then she feels an arm wrap around her neck, a gloved hand clamped over her mouth, and as she tries to scream around it, a sharp needle pricks into the muscle between her shoulder and her neck.
"I've got you…"
She's screaming in her head that this isn't happening again, not in her lab God dammit, as her body becomes immobilized dead weight and she falls away from the world.
Abby's eyes snapped open, her breath coming in quick gasps as she realized that she was being restrained.
Someone was holding her.
No, no he'd found her. How could he have found her?
"Let go! Let me go!"
"Abby! Abby, calm down! It's just me!"
"No, no, no. Not again."
The arms tightened around her.
"Shh. It's all right. You're all right, Abby. Shh."
The voice speaking to her was calm and warm, not like that monster who haunted her sleep. The voice kept talking to her, its tone soothing, and Abby became aware of a gentle hand rubbing up and down her back, of her cheek pressed against a warm body. Slowly, she relaxed into whoever was holding her, not acknowledging the fact that she was still trembling.
"Shh. Everything's all right now. Just breathe, Abby." Abby sighed deeply, feeling drained and exhausted and like her nerves were on edge, but taking comfort in the voice that sounded so very familiar.
Actually, the voice sounded like… "Timmy?"
The arms tightened around her just a smidge. "Yeah, it's me."
Abby settled more deeply into his comforting embrace, and they stayed that way for quite some time until she finally felt coherent enough to pull away from him.
As she separated from Tim's hold, Abby looked around and slowly came to the realization that they were kneeling on the floor below her work station. Her brow furrowing in confusion, Abby tried to remember how she ended up on the floor in the first place.
"What happened? The last thing I remember was looking over a test result from one of the fiber samples," she murmured as she rubbed her temple gently. Man, she could feel a massive headache coming on, most likely due to her lack of sleep recently.
"You fell asleep at your desk," Tim told her as she focused on him again. "You were having a nightmare from what I could tell. I tried waking you up from it by calling your name a couple times. And when you woke up, you were still sort of half asleep and fell off your stool. You probably would have hit your head on the desk if I hadn't caught you. Once you fully woke up, you were in a such a blind panic that I had to keep holding you to make sure you didn't hurt yourself trying to get away from…"
Abby watched as Tim suddenly fell silent, and felt her stomach drop into her feet.
"You know," she whispered.
Tim sighed, and nodded back at her. "Yeah. I figured it out this afternoon. I just didn't know how to bring it up."
Abby swallowed, and got to her feet quickly. She looked desperately around her lab, looking for something to do to make herself busy, to not have to talk about her little problem.
Abby did her best to change the subject before Tim could ask the question she knew was coming. "Thanks for what you did back there, but what are you doing here so late still?"
She ignored his mildly annoyed "you're not getting out of this" look. "How long have you been having nightmares about L.A., Abs?"
Abby grabbed the Caff-Pow! sitting next to her mouse and took a large gulp of the caffeinated beverage, and grimaced at the flat taste of the no longer carbonated drink.
"Abby…"
"Please just drop it, McGee."
She could see him fold his arms over his chest from the corner of her eye as she turned back to her computer screen. Abby could only imagine the expression on his face—his jaw set, eyes narrowed slightly, lips drawn in a line.
It was his game face, and Abby knew he was getting ready to show her just how stubborn he could be. (He could almost give Gibbs a run for his money.)
"Abby, I want to help you. But I can't if you don't talk to me."
Abby bit her lip while she kept her back to him. No, no, she couldn't give in. This was her problem. She could fix it, she could!
She felt his hand on her shoulder, and as he turned her around, Abby continued to worry her lip and kept her eyes focused on the buttons and pinstripes of his navy blue shirt.
"Abby, look at me. Please?"
She sighed. He was so hard to fight when he used that tone of voice, the one that made her feel warm and cared for.
Abby looked up at him, and saw the worry swirling in Tim's eyes. He was searching her face, as if looking for something.
And then she saw…guilt? Why was he guilty?
"I'm sorry. You're my best friend. I should have noticed something was wrong," he said, his tone sincere.
As his words washed over her, Abby felt guilt settle on to her shoulders like a weight. She hated when she made her friends worry about her. And she hated even more what she'd done to him this morning.
Sighing once more, Abby stepped forward, and leaned into Tim for a hug. Immediately, his arms came around her, and settled around her waist and back, holding her close and making her feel protected and safe.
"How long?" he asked again, his voice soft in her ear as she settled her cheek against his shoulder.
"I don't know," she confessed. "On and off for the last six weeks or so?"
She felt Tim tighten his arms around her, encouraging her to keep talking. "It was okay at first, and my debrief was totally fine. I didn't even get some sort of recommendation to continue seeing someone. But then…I don't know. I just started dreaming about it, and it was usually just going through what happened in the warehouse. Then after awhile, things started changing. The drug wouldn't wear off, or he'd make it out alive, or…" Abby trailed off her muffled admission, unable to finish.
"Or?" Tim prompted, and Abby swallowed hard.
"Or…" She took a shaky breath, the soothing scent of Tim's cologne wafting up her nose. "Or he'd kill me."
Abby leaned back and looked up at him again, still staying close, with Tim's arms still wrapped around her in a loose hug. "That's why I wanted to adopt Jethro from you. The…dreams wake me up screaming and really, really not in my head, and I thought he could keep me safe. He'd keep me company and I'd be able to go to sleep again."
She could feel her lack of sleep over the last several days finally catching up to her, and her eyes stung a bit as her vision suddenly became blurry. "I'm sorry about what I did today. I know I don't have the right to ask for him back. But I'm just so damn tired, Tim, and I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of that creep waking me up in the middle of the night, of not being able to sleep after. I'm tired of being scared of the dark like some little kid, because I think he's going to come out and get me even though I know he's dead as dead can be. I just want a good night's sleep. Is that too hard to ask for?"
Abby felt herself being pulled into a tight hug again as some of her tears finally spilled over her lashes and into the fabric of Tim's beige suit jacket.
They stayed that way for quite some time, Abby simply letting Tim hold her as he rubbed soothing circles on her back and whispered calming things into her ear.
Abby finally reluctantly let go of Tim, feeling drained.
"Come on, I'll walk you out," he told her quietly, putting a gentle hand on her lower back, and Abby nodded.
"Let me just shut everything down. There's no use staying here overnight if I don't have to." Slipping away from Tim, Abby began saving her work and shutting down her machines for the night.
As Major Mass Spec stopped humming and went to sleep, Abby turned to Tim, biting her lip for just a second before asking him, "Tim? Can I stay with you tonight?"
She watched as he began to smile. "You're always welcome at my place, Abs. And I'm sure Jethro would love to see you too."
After switching off the lights, and locking the lab door, Abby and Tim slipped onto the elevator, and Tim pushed the button for the garage. Abby watched him, and could see he had something he wanted to say. She nudged him with her elbow, and when he looked at her, she gave him a smile.
"Something on your mind?"
He smiled back and shook his head. "Just…um..."
"What is it, Tim?"
He paused, before flipping the emergency stop. Abby looked at him, already guessing what he was going to say when his expression turned serious again.
"Abby…"
"Don't say it, McGee."
"Abby, not talking about it is doing you more harm than good!"
Abby vigorously shook her head. "No. No, I'm not crazy. I'm just having trouble sleeping, that's it!"
She felt Tim's hands on her shoulders again, turning her towards him. "Abby, I'm not calling you crazy. I'm just asking you to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a shrink. Just…tell someone what happened out there, about your dreams. I'm sure Ducky or Gibbs would be happy to listen to you."
She felt his fingertips on her chin as he tilted her head up so she could meet his gaze. "And you know my door's always open. Always. Call me at three in the morning, even. Just please talk to someone, because I can't bear to see you not being yourself like today."
Abby locked her gaze on his eyes, and saw the sincerity and care infused in his words swimming there in his irises.
She gave him a small smile, stepped away from him and flipped turned the elevator back on. "Okay. I'll talk to someone."
The rest of the ride down to the garage was filled with a comfortable silence, and as they stepped off the elevator, Abby felt Tim's arm wrap around her waist as he escorted her to his car.
As they settled in for the drive to Tim's new place, Abby watched as Tim turned to her with a smile.
"And I was thinking…if you want, you can borrow Jethro as a roommate for awhile until we can find a dog for you, or you feel like you don't need one to help you sleep, whichever comes first. Deal?"
Abby grinned, and leaned across the console between their seats to wrap Tim in a tight hug. "Deal!"
That night, Abby slept peacefully for the first time in days without a nightmare, Tim's reassuring presence wrapped around her along with his blankets.
-/END/-
