Um. I don't own anything. It's all Wynter-Solstice's doing. I hope you enjoy :D

CHAPTER TWO:

AFTER OUR INTERMISSION

There was one thing Logan was absolutely sure about. Sitting in the office by himself, thinking, was doing absolutely nothing.

The odds were possible, but highly improbable. Logan sat on his chair, head in his hands. fact that it happened proved that sometimes, science did not have all the answers.

Sometimes, when he thought back to that day, he wondered what would have happened had he done anything differently. Had he told Kendall the truth. Had he hadn't been so quick to make a decision that even he, himself, was unsure about. In the end, he was convinced that, despite the pain, it was how it ought to be.

Kendall with his dream of being a director; He with his to become a neurosurgeon… Which part of that was similar? Unless he decided to try out for Grey's Anatomy or something. Which he was not.

He remembered the day he told Kendall he was going. It was a Friday, and in many ways, the ending of something very beautiful, and at the same time, tragic. Logan hadn't made any attempt at conversation for the morning, which elicited Kendall's appearance at his desk at recess.

He could remember Kendall's words as clear as daylight. "So, you don't want to do this anymore?"

Did he want to do it? Really? Every internet search proved near futile. Was it possible to be friends with the one you loved? If it was, then it was simple. It was either he never truly loved him, or… perhaps the worse possibility: This wasn't even a friendship; A relationship under strain.

Kendall had no idea, and Logan was not stupid enough to enlighten him. What would he say?

Kendall never seemed to reciprocate.

Logan was scared that… in telling him, the blond would be himself. Show him the love he wanted, just because he didn't want to hurt him. Pretend to like him. Have some relationship that would mean the world to him, but at the same thing… absolutely nothing in the mind of his BFF. Is there was anything that was able to kill him, it would be that.

And then the matter of Jo.

It wasn't as though Logan didn't like her. It was that she was always competing for the blond's attention and after the first couple years, it began to get annoying. Over the days, previous to their spat, Kendall and Jo had been getting closer … not so romantically inclined (Kendall made that clear) but the back rubbing, the hugging around the neck, the cheek patting… Every time, his stomach made somersaults. And Kendall never seemed to think anything of it.

He tried not to notice. Not to look at them. But he was a scientist. He noticed EVERYTHING. But in essence, he was ignoring his best friend. The friendship was on the decline before the actual words were exchanged.

The hardest thing in the world was to love someone, and see someone else with them, keeping them happy. It was hard when you had to lie to yourself ALL the time, just to keep your feelings in check. And most of all, the worst pain was loving someone and not having them feel the same way about you.

H e wanted to cry. He wanted to run up to Kendall and tell him everything. He wanted to die with the emotional turmoil inside… okay, not die. So he did the next best thing.

He broke his own heart.

And went far away.

It was fine if Kendall never loved him and moved on in his life if he didn't have to be around to see it. But it was painful, because at the same time, he wanted to know.

But there was nothing that could be done at the point in time. He would NEVER ask Kendall to be mean to someone, just because he wished that person was he. He couldn't be with the blond and squash the boy with his complicated emotional insecurities.

Kendall would be mad, he knew. He would call him selfish, and mean. And to be honest, Logan knew it was a selfish decision.

And should Kendall and he meet ever again, he would apologize. And say what…?

But that was improbable. He would never see the blond again. They would grow up- Kendall forging his own path, getting married, having kids… And him?

Logan rocked back in his seat. Nine years later and look at him now.

Nothing had changed; Everything had changed.

Kendall was coming in… what, the next fifteen minutes? Was he even ready for this? Could this even be fair to Kendall?

He laughed at himself.

"Kendall's engaged, you idiot," he said out loud, and wiped the tell-tale tear that slid down his cheek. "You lost your chance nine years ago."

"I'm thinking I should be mad at you," the blond said, looking at Logan from across the table. "I mean, I reserve the right to be… And growing up, we always had this problem where we never dealt with our problems that normal people do. You laugh, I laugh. And then… it never mattered what we were mad about."

Logan shook his head. "I don't think it was that. We valued our friendship a lot more than our pride."

Kendall fixed his a peculiar look. "You… think so? Personally, I always won."

"Win."

"Win what?"

"No… you always win. Let's not speak in the past tense… please?"

"You act really weird around me someti… all the time, you know that? But if it pleases you. So what do you want to know."

"Tell me about Jo."

Kendall looked outside the window. "You have to promise to answer any question I have for you after."

A pause. "Fine."

"I know you don't like her," Kendall began slowly, "But Jo's really changed since when you knew her."

"Like how?" Logan asked. It was a challenge keeping his voice sounding calm and interested without the cracking.

"Well, we worked together during university. She was there. She kept my company after you… left… She stopped being all weird, and in fact, she kinda grew on me. Like I couldn't imagine doing stuff without her. And one thing led to another, and here we are."

"That's it?"

"You scarcely expect me to tell you everything, do you?"

Logan shook his head. He didn't think so.

The pain was coming in waves. Right now the calm before the storm. When Kendall left, Logan could make no promises.

"Are you happy, Kendall?" he asked.

"It depends. I think we're all looking for happiness, one way or another. Maybe my happiness lies with Jo. I can't know for certain right now…"

"That's an odd thing to say. You can't be happy with someone. Happiness is a state…"

"Of contentment. It's a personal thing. You told me this before. But I've proven you wrong…. As usual. There are some people I just like hanging out with… more than others. They make… keep… me happy."

"Do you love her?"

That was it. The million-dollar question.

Kendall gave Logan the smile he knew and adored. "Yes Logan. I do."

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Love,

Chelzi/Wynter