Plot: Akai and Aster

Most of the writing: Aster

Editing: Akai

Aster's Notes: O~su~

Nice to see you here. xD

Anyway, since the first part of this chapter is so...short...well, I combined it with the second part, which is a bit longer. They're both totally unrelated, though...


Part 1. Miyuki's Sleeping Log

If anyone asked Takara Miyuki how she'd come up with the idea, she would have mildly said, "Oh, it wasn't mine – Kagami-san came up with it."

Of course, she would be unknowingly "blaming" her for coming up with such a mischievous and evil idea.

Granted, Kagami had her moments of evilness, no matter how much deredere she had, so on a day Konata's irresponsibility and total lack and unwillingness to do her homework drove her mad, she had (in a similar way that a certain black-haired girl with a yellow ribbon in her hair would complain about the world's problems) started to fitfully ire about the otaku's laziness...

...that was when Tsukasa came up with the idea.

Of course, the idea originally had Konata's best interests at heart, and was implemented in the hopes that it would inspire Konata to get onto a normal student's schedule. It had also been just a throwaway idea, which wasn't supposed to mean much. But it was completely unexpected for Kagami to start clutching Tsukasa and Miyuki tightly, begging them to go through with it.

Now, this would not have been the issue at hand at the moment: Kuroi-sensei was giving an important lecture today and it was very likely to include an extremely important fact on the next test. But then, it seemed, the idea suddenly came into great need.

Because nearby, Izumi Konata was breathing very loudly.

Konata kept her head planted on the desk during the entire class anyway, so it was very difficult for the normal bystander to tell what state she was in. However, Miyuki and Tsukasa were very sharp, and when they heard the breathing, they looked at each other. Tsukasa nodded.

Both of them pulled out a composition notebook. Both were doing it to ensure accuracy, and so the notebooks were identical, with "Konata" written on the front. Konata herself had never laid eyes on either one.

Miyuki's was always much neater than Tsukasa's. In precise handwriting, what she had written included the following:

4/11: 5 minutes

4/12: 2 minutes

4/13: managed to stay up

4/14: 15 minutes

4/15: fell asleep upon sitting down

4/18: 18 minutes

Today was April 19. Miyuki glanced at the clock. It had been exactly 21 minutes since the period started.

Miyuki quietly jotted "4/19: 21 minutes" below her previous entry and was about to put the book away when there was a loud WHACK!

Kuroi-sensei stood next to Konata's desk with a ruler in her hand. Konata, bleary-eyed, was rubbing a large lump on her head.

As Miyuki packed away the book, Kuroi yelled, "Do you sleep in my class every day, Izumi?!"


Akai: Owari.

Aster: We're not done yet!

Akai: Though, technically, a part of the story has ended. I have every right to say "owari".

Aster: Meh, whatever. Anyway, the next part was based on a conspiracy theory floating around the 'net. Although I know Akai always wanted to do this herself...

Akai: Yes. Yes, I did. You do write these kinds of stories with more skill than I do, but I still had some pretty good ideas for it. -Is sad-

Aster: Well, you'll have to deal with this! Muahahahahaha -

Akai: -Shoots Aster- That's my line.


Part 2: Spies!

At the cosplay café, Izumi Konata and Patricia Martin were preparing for their show.

Today was Konata's favorite performance: Haruhi Day. Because of this, Konata had decided today would be the day she would have her friends come over (as long as they brought a Code Geass manga with them). Patricia was equally eager to meet Konata's friends.

Konata was slipping her armband on when suddenly her boss slipped in. She seemed like she was in a panic.

"We have a problem...Minako couldn't come today..."

"What?"

Konata and Patricia looked panicked as well. Minako was the Yuki cosplayer, and without a Yuki, they might as well not do Haruhi as well.

"Well, what are we going to do about this?" said Patricia. "We've gotta do something!"

The boss looked around nervously. "Izumi, go out and look for someone. Anyone. Someone who knows about the Haruhi series. There's a manga store nearby – try there. We can't teach someone Hare Hare Yukai with the time we have left. Go!"

Konata gave a nod and ran over to the door –

– but someone was already standing there.


She looked exactly like Nagato Yuki.


The girl had short purple hair. Her eyes were extremely dark black with a hint of gold. Her face was blank. She was wearing a sailor fuku exactly like the North High one, with a cardigan tied neatly around her waist. Her skin was so pale it was nearly white.

Konata's jaw dropped for a few seconds. Then she realized the girl must be some kind of really intense cosplayer asking for a job - which was exactly what they needed!

"Come in!" yelled Konata, grabbing the strange girl and dragging her in, the same way the real Haruhi would do with a flustered Kyon. The girl made no objections or complaints – she followed.


The girl learned Hare Hare Yukai insanely quickly, as if she already knew the dance. Her expression was morose and blank as she did so. Her performance was marvelous.

She learned all her lines swiftly, as if they were what she would have said anyway. During breaks, all she did was sit down and read a book.

Konata walked up to the reading girl. "Wow, you're really good at this. How are you so talented?"

"..."

Konata appraised her. "No, really. Even now you're acting really, really well. You must be really intense."

"..."

"Well, keep up the good work!" laughed the otaku.

"..."

"..."

"...I see."

Her voice was quiet and reserved, the same way Nagato Yuki's was.


Konata seated her four friends, cosplaying Suzumiya Haruhi (and doing quite a good job at it). Patricia was busy entertaining some people with her "classified information".

Meanwhile, the Yuki cosplayer looked around. She saw nothing of interest.

Then...he walked in.

He had a bored but slightly amused look, as if he was enjoying what he was seeing. He had short brown hair, and it didn't seem like he was familiar with the area, just that he was trying to make sense of what he saw.

In other words:

Kyon.


The girl walked up to him slowly, her feet making no sound.

Kyon looked at her, almost taken aback at what he saw. Perhaps he thought he recognized her, but he settled down immediately.

He took a quick glance at the menu. "I'll have a glass of ice water, and...I'll have the broiled eel."

In a flat voice, the girl said, "Currently unavailable." (They were out of eel.)

Kyon blinked again. "How about the shrimp pilaf?"

"Currently impossible." (They hadn't received any shrimp for some reason today.)

"Then spaghetti with meat sauce."

"It will take fifteen minutes."

Kyon paused for a second, as if he had realized something. Then he smiled.

"Yosh. Do it."

The girl walked away.

Exactly fifteen minutes later, she walked back with spaghetti on a tray and an extra napkin. She set the spaghetti down with the napkin.

"It's all right, I don't need another – "

But she had walked away, and Kyon had already seen it.

On the napkin, in handwriting much like computer font, was:

After the show, outside, near the tree.


Kyon sighed. "Well, Nagato, I thought I was lost in this weird place. At least you're still here, which is still something."

"The Integrated Data Sentient Entity is still unaware of why Suzumiya Haruhi has created this alternate space. She did not hold any desire or subconscious urge for this to happen."

"So where is Haruhi anyway?" Kyon asked.

Yuki continued in her usual deadpan voice. "Somehow, her consciousness has become detached and has entered another host. This host remains largely unaffected by Suzumiya Haruhi's consciousness; however, there are minor influences in behavior resulting from such harboring."

Kyon crossed his arms. "And who exactly is 'harboring' her?"

"The Suzumiya Haruhi cosplayer in this building," Yuki replied.

"..."

"Suzumiya Haruhi is not the only one to be convergent into a host. Asahina Mikuru has also been subjected to such and is currently harbored by another student at Suzumiya Haruhi's host's school. One of the class members from yours and Suzumiya Haruhi's class has also been subjected to such. We currently have no leads on Koizumi Itsuki. I am currently posing as a student at Suzumiya Haruhi's host's school to observe her actions and find a solution. You, for a reason unknown to the Integrated Data Sentient Entity, have not been subjected to a consciousness transfer. I will station you at a location so that you will be able to do the same."

"..."

"..."

After a while, Kyon finally said, "Nagato, are you serious?"

"I am."

"All right then. Tell me who I'm pretending to be."

Yuki looked at him straight in the eye, and said, "A sales clerk."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...A sales clerk?"


Akai's A/N: Part two is mainly a voice actor joke, really. Sugita Tomokazu, who voices Kyon, just happens to voice the short, brown-haired Kyon-lookalike sales clerk selling the Kyon card during the Comiket episode (18).

By the way, Aster has a couple of awesome Haruhi fics out – go check them out, they're awesome.

Please review and thank you in advance!