A/N: I'm not dead! Haha, just been on major hiatus for like over a year? Well I'm back! I moved since my last update on any story, so I'm now residing in Canada! I've also been busy with school and lack of a social life. But anyway, I'd assume you're not interested in my dull life and would much rather wanna hear all about this next chapter! Enjoy!
Oh also! I might change the context of this story. I might story line this one too, or continue it as random drabbles. Let me know what you want me to do with this!
Usernames you need to know:
Edward – SparkleSparkle
Bella – StupidLamp
Renesmee – WolfBaby
Jacob – PedophileMomma
Emmett – LetsFistFight
Alice – LittleSprite
Jasper – WarMemorial
Carlisle – WhatIsIM?
Rosalie – PradaB*tch
Andrea – AllApologies451994
Emily – GrahamCrackuhz
Demi Lovato – MCDLove
Nick Jonas – MrPerfection
Joe Jonas – DJDanger
Kevin Jonas - MrAwesome
LittleSprite, SparkleSparkle and WarMemorial are all online.
LittleSprite: Jaaaasper! Come back to the bedroom! :o
WarMemorial: Come get me ;)
SparkleSparkle: Guys, ew. Would rather skip on the IM sex.
LittleSprite: Duly noted. Oh no… unwanted visitors -_-
AllApologies451994, GrahamCrackuhz, MCDLove, MrPerfection, DJDanger and MrAwesome sign in.
AllApologies451994: heh… you hacked us in!
GrahamCrackuhz: Of course. I AM the author.
WarMemorial: The who what now?
GrahamCrackuhz: Don't mind your pretty little head…
MrAwesome: Uh Emily? Who are they…?
GrahamCrackuhz: Uh no one. Just those people I was telling you about earlier.
MrAwesome: Oh them! Cool! Hi everyone :) I'm Kevin! But you can call me Mr Awesome
;)
LittleSprite: Excuse me, Emily? But me and Jasper were kind of in the middle of something… So if you could all… leave? That would be fantastic!
GrahamCrackuhz: Not a chance in hell would we leave just so you and Jasper can get it on.
LittleSprite: Oh really now? You really wanna do that to me?
GrahamCrackuhz: Don't test me woman. Keep fighting and I'll do something you wont suspect. Not even with your crazy futuristic sight.
LittleSprite: Shaving my head won't be solving anything.
GrahamCrackuhz: Well then. It's good you really don't know what I'm planning…
SparkleSparkle: Shes planning on burning your wardrobe, Alice.
LittleSprite: YOU WOULDN'T DARE!
GrahamCrackuhz: THANKS A LOT EDWEIRDO.
SparkleSparkle: Any time.
WhatIsIM? Signed in.
WhatIsIM?: Okay guys. Wheres Rosalie, Renesmee, Emmett and Bella? We need to have a serious talk.
GrahamCrackuhz: Carlisle, do they really require that discussion right now? You lot have company.
MCDLove: I don't think I could do with any more "serious talking" So please spare me…
MrPerfection: I'm gonna have to be with Demi on this one…
WhatIsIM?: Now now, there is never a bad time for this conversation.
DJDanger: Is there ever a good time?
PradaB*tch, LetsFistFight, StupidLamp and WolfBaby sign in.
WolfBaby: Grandpa, I think I'm too young for this talk…
StupidLamp: Carlisle, please don't make her listen… She's only a year and a half old.
MCDLove: Shes HOW OLD?
StupidLamp: A YEAR AND A HALF. 1.5 YEARS 18 MONTHS.
MCDLove: May I point out; I'm not the one with "stupid" in their screen name?
StupidLamp: No you may not.
LetsFistFight: Lets get this over with Daddaaaaaay
WhatIsIM?: Thank you Emmett for your enthusiasm. Well I need to inform you all of the birds and the bees.
LetsFistFight: OH I KNOW! THEY FLY AND HAVE WINGS AND MAKE NOISE!
WhatIsIM?: Um no Emmett. Not quite…
LetsFistFight: Oh. Well can we hurry this up? I need to get my Obaffles from the oven soon.
LittleSprite: Obaffles? Are you serious?
PradaB*tch: And you thought YOU were the one with the mentally deranged husband.
LittleSprite: Jasper isn't mentally deranged. Maybe a little off, but not deranged.
WhatIsIM?: ENOUGH! TIME FOR MY TALK! When a mommy and a daddy love each other veeeeery much they go to a special room together. When they get there, they take all their clothes off and the daddy takes his special car and parks it into the mommy's garage. Now he's not a very good driver of his special car and has a hard time parking it so he has to reverse quite a few times until all his passengers can get out of his car. Once his car has released his passengers, he leaves mommy's car. The passengers all fight to get into mommy's house first and the first one in locks all the others out. This is how a baby is made.
WolfBaby: I think I've been scarred for life….
WolfBaby has signed out.
LetsFistFight: OH NO! MY OBAFFLES!
SparkleSparkle: This can only end badly…
-5 minutes later-
LetsFistFight: HERE EVERYONE! HAVE SOME OBAFFLES AND MOUNTAIN DEW!
MCDLove: Is this family usually this insane?
GrahamCrackuhz: define usually. And define insane…
LetsFistFight: UH OH! I HAVE A MOUNTAIN DEW BUBBLE STUCK UP MY NOSE!
SparkleSparkle: I told you all this would end badly.
MrPerfection: Actually, you told us that this CAN only end badly. You never said it WOULD.
SparkleSparkle: stupid perfectionist…
MrPerfection: That's not very nice you know.
SparkleSparkle: Hey at least I'm married and have a child!
MrPerfection: At least I can be seen in public and not have to move every few years in case someone realizes I'm a vampire because I don't age.
SparkleSparkle: How do you know about us?
AllApologies451994: I told them. Thought I'd give them the inside scoop around this place.
SparkleSparkle: Traitor.
DJDanger: So LittleSprite… you got a man?
LittleSprite: Yeah. I do. He's reading what you're saying jerkface.
WarMemorial: Keep your paws of my honey. You ain't no Winnie The Pooh.
DJDanger: Well it looks like there are no single chicks here wanting me, so Imma blow this popsicle joint. SLATAH.
DJDanger has signed out.
StupidLamp: One creeper down, 5 to go…
LittleSprite: I know how they all go, too…
MrAwesome: Well I'm outie to go play golfie with the broski.
MrAwesome has signed out.
StupidLamp: Two down, Four to go…
AllApologies451994: Have fun getting rid of me and Em. We're here to staaaaay.
GrahamCrackuhz: Demi, you down for a sleepover? Me, you, Andrea all irritating these fooo's?
MCDLove: I'd LOVE to stay at yours for a sleepover, but I don't think irritating these guys would be a very fun sleepover activity.
GrahamCrackuhz: So that's a YES to the sleepover? :D
MCDLove: Sure. I'll be there in like twenty minutes :)
MCDLove has signed out.
StupidLamp: 20 minutes and these losers will be gone! HURRAH!
MrPerfection: Um. Emily? I kinda wanna ask you something…
GrahamCrackuhz: If you're going to ask me out on a date, this is the wrong fantasy to be asking it in.
MrPerfection: Oh. Okay… Well in another fantasy then… farewell sweet maiden…
MrPerfection has signed out.
AllApologies451994: I say me and you Em make like a tree and leave.
GrahamCrackuhz: I guess. Gotta prep for the sleepover. SLATER GUIESE!
AllApologies451994 and GrahamCrackuhz have signed out.
StupidLamp: well that was sufficiently weird and messed up. Just like this family I guess.
Everyone has been disconnected due to a large water animal sitting on the internet cables and destroying them.
