This was a little weird idea I got like two months ago. I try always find new ideas for drabbles (which is hard, because there are so many ideas already used) So, here you go.
Now I hope everyone understand who this Mr L is. I didn't want to use right name, so this wouldn't insult or anything… But I can assure this is kind of a respecting tribute :)
But, yeah, enjoy!
It was nice warn early spring morning in Dublin. Sun was out and birds were singing. And Mr L was just finished his breakfast. He stood up and stretched his arms.
"Well, time to start working", he sighed and walked to his study. He walked past his desk and computer and opened the window letting the spring breeze get in. He sat down at his table and then leaned back.
"OK guys", he said. "Any ideas?"
"I have one", said a pretty young girl with dark hair and smile on her face. She was about fifteen-years-old and wearing black clothes.
"Good morning, Valkyrie", Mr L said and smiled back.
"Morning Mr L", she said brightly. "Now, hear this. I was thinking that me, Valkyrie Cain the main heroine, saving Skulduggery once again from an evil maniac"
"Well, we could…" Mr L said.
"Now wait just a minute", velvety smooth voice interrupted. A skeleton wearing very stylish suit stood next to Valkyrie, arms folded.
"You said once again. When was even the first time you saved me?" Skulduggery Pleasant asked. "Oh, and good morning, Mr L"
"Morning, Skulduggery", Mr L said and Valkyrie turned to Skulduggery.
"Well, the time I saved you from Serpine's fortress, remember?" she said glaring at Skulduggery.
"Firstly", Skulduggery said, "That wasn't a fortress it was an old, rotting castle. And secondly, you had Ghastly and Tanith and Cleavers with you"
"Yeah, but I was the only one who even wanted to save you"
"That's not true, everyone loves me"
"Well I still saved… I mean we still saved you, didn't we Mr L?" Valkyrie asked in a sugary voice.
"I guess…", Mr L started but Skulduggery interrupted him.
"Don't you mix Mr L in this mess, young lady. And beside that was just a lucky shot"
"I have to say I agree with the skeleton", Nefarian Serpine said leaning against a wall.
"Shut up, Serpine", Valkyrie said angrily. "You dead people can't say anything". Serpine didn't answer, just rolled his eyes.
"Mr L, you could make me save the day again", Skulduggery said. "I have done it so many times so it would be piece of a cake. The public wants to read about me and my heroic…", Skuklduggery was quiet for a moment. "Hey, what did you mean about that main heroine thing?"
"Are you that slow?" Valkyrie yelled angrily. "And I am the main heroine!"
"No you are not. I always have to save the day and you"
"Oh, come on, last time you got sucked in a portal", Valkyrie said rolling her eyes. "And just because you were too slow to move put of the way"
"Well, I beat the Faceless Ones, didn't I?" Skulduggery said.
"You did, but it was just luck", Valkyrie said grinning triumphantly.
"The girl has a point", Paddy Hanratty also known as Batu said with three other persons standing next to Serpine.
"Who invited the Diablerie?" Skulduggery sighed.
"Yeah, you guys sucked more than Scapegrace", Valkyrie said.
"Hey!" Vaurien Scapegrace yelled next to her. Serpine laughed and Jaron Gallow looked at him.
"Well, at least we got further than you, Serpine", he sneered.
"What did that suppose to mean, Gallow?" Serpine said glaring at him.
"You got yourself killed with your own weapon"Batu snorted "Isn't that a rookie mistake for someone who was one of the Three Generals?" Murder Rose giggled.
"Shut up, old man!" Serpine growled.
"Mr L, you could make me kill someone. I'm ready", Scapegrace said leaning closer to Mr L.
"Well, I was…" Mr L started.
"You killing someone?", Valkyrie sneered over the arguing between Diablerie and Serpine. "Now that's rich, the readers would never believe that"
"You are starting to annoy me, little brat", Scapegrace said.
"You leave her alone", blond haired young woman said. "Hi, Mr L", she said and smiled sweetly to him.
"Hello, Tanith", Mr L said.
"Hey, loony blonde, we have some things to settle, don't we?" Springheel Jack yelled standing on Mr L's desk.
"Who's loony blonde here, you sewer rat!" Tanith growled. "Come on and have a go if you think you're hard enough?" Tanith said and pulled out her sword.
"You asked for it!". Both charged each other and crashed to the bookshelves next to Serpine and Diablerie, whose argument had flared up in to a fistfight. Mr L sighed and turned to look at two men standing behind him.
"What about you, Ghastly?" he asked and Ghastly shrugged.
"I'm fine. Thank you for turning me back from the statue by the way", Ghastly said politely and Mr L nodded.
"And you Mr. Bliss?" Mr L asked. "Sorry for killing you off by the way", he continued and scratched his head.
"Everything is fine", Mr Bliss answered. "It's good to finally retire"
"Thank God", Mr L sighed relived. "At least you guys are talking this fine"
"Abomination!" a sudden roar made Mr L jump on his chair. "I have come to revenge you!" baron Vengeous growled and took Skulduggery by his shirt collar.
"Seriously baron, you should really take anger management classes", Skulduggery said.
"Detective!" came another yell and Doctor Kenspeckle Grouse walked to them. "We need to talk about you putting Valkyrie in a danger. Gods? She fought against gods?"
"I'm fine professor", Valkyrie tried. "I'm the main heroine, I can't die"
"Don't you start again", Skulduggery threatened and Valkyrie stuck out her tongue.
"Pleasant!" Thurid Guild yelled. "Why the hell did you shot me in the leg? I have enough of your rampaging already!"
"Does everyone want to beat me up?" Skulduggery sighed and Valkyrie nodded grinning.
"Hey, you two", Vengeous yelled looking at Kenspeckle and Guild. "I threatened him first!"
"But I'm older so I have the privilege to—!" Kenspeckle said irritated.
"So what, I'm the Grand Mage", Guild yelled. "And what are you planning to do to him, baron?"
"I'm going to beat him up", baron answered sighing frustrated.
"Oh, well then give him one for us too", Kenspeckle said and baron clicked his knuckles grinning. Suddenly China Sorrows slapped baron, Guild and Kenspeckle back of their heads.
"You three stop that right now!" she said. "Try to behave like the adults you are in Mr L's study, will you"
"Yes, ma'am", Thurid Guild and Kenspeckle said nodding, but baron looked at China eyes wide.
"Traitor!" he screamed pointing at her but earned another slap from China.
"Mr L, could you make me and Tanith go out together?" Fletcher Renn asked suddenly and Mr L opened his mouth to answer.
"Don't you even think about that, Mr L!" Tanith yelled and hit Springheel Jack right in the middle of his face.
"Valkyrie, my dear", said Solomon Wreath and wrapped his arm around Valkyrie's shoulders. "Are you sure you don't want to be a necromancer? Mr L, would that be a great idea?"
"You stay away from her, Wreath!" Skulduggery yelled and tried to keep Baron away from cutting him with his cutlass. The whole study was under a total chaos when suddenly the Grotesquery stood up and growled an earth-shaking roar. Everyone stopped their arguing and fighting. Three seconds passed.
"SHUT UP!" was all everyone yelled together. The arguing and fighting continued and the Grotesquery sat in a corner pouting. A book flew towards Mr L but Ghastly caught it before it could hit him. Mr L looked how the ghost of Anathem Mire rose through his desk and hovered in the roof yelling angrily. Mr L leaned his head on his hand.
"At least they're all here", he sighed and ducked as the Torment, Dusk and Billy-Ray Sanguine joined the fight. "Or now they are. I really should stop asking their opinions", he said flicking a spider of his shoulder. Ghastly and Bliss both nodded.
I'm bad at endings…
This was really hard to write and I wasn't able to get every character in this. Sorry, but I really tried.
Well, I really hope you liked it!
Plz review and go easy on me. I know this sucks here and there.
But, thanks for reading! :) Heads up for more!
