Chapter Two
"Ms. Sage." I blinked, trying to focus on the man standing in front of me. In a better state of mind, I would've been able to focus on and remember every detail about this man, but all I could seem to notice was the white lab coat he was wearing. More white. As if there wasn't enough white in the room as it was.
"How good of you to join me." He said, as if I'd had a choice, "You were crying out in your sleep, you see. I thought it only right to wake you." He glanced behind him at the speakers in the walls. "I'm surprised you were able to sleep at all. It seems phase one has failed." He cleared his throat, and focused his attention on me once again. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Doctor Thomas. I lead the Re-education program."
His words, though just an introduction, somehow seemed alarming. His features seemed to change; a dangerous gleam appearing in his eyes.
"Do you know why you are here, Ms. Sage?"
My heart pounded in my ears, but I didn't answer.
"It is in your best interest to answer any and all of my questions, Ms. Sage. You won't like it if I have to force them out of you." He threatened.
My palms began to sweat, and my wrists ached from the rope tied around them. My body began to shake, but still I refused to answer. I was too confused. I couldn't see straight. Was I even really awake or was this a nightmare?
"Last chance, Ms. Sage."
I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could, trying to collect my thoughts. My throat burned and my stomach felt sour.
"I don't know." I whispered. I could barely talk. My throat was raw. I needed water. "Please, I need water."
I didn't hear anything for a moment. When I opened my eyes, I saw Dr. Thomas walking toward the door. He knocked twice and I hoped it was code for 'bring food and drink'. I watched as two more men came in, one carrying a large metal bucket and a cloth, the other was empty handed. The guy sat the bucket down beside me and I noticed there was water in it. Thank God, I thought. I wasn't able to pay attention to much else, so I didn't notice when the two guys walked behind me. My eyes were on the water I so desperately needed.
"If it's water you want, Ms. Sage," said Dr. Thomas, "then water you shall have."
I focused on him just as he nodded to the two men, whom I finally noticed were behind me. I realized something about this was wrong, but it was already too late. The two men tipped my chair on its back; not gently, but not with force either. One man held my body still by straddling me and digging his knees and palms into each of my arms and shoulders. All I could think was how heavy he was. It felt like my arms were breaking. I cried out, but it was muffled by the cloth thrown over my face. It was laid out flat, and even in the pain I was in, and even with my muddled mind, I knew, I knew what was coming next.
"No!" I croaked, trying to wiggle free, trying to shake the cloth from my face. The other man put, what I assumed were his hands, on either side of my face and held me still. My heart hammered in my chest and I swore I was going to have a heart attack. I heard the scrape of the bucket as Dr. Thomas lifted it from the floor and hastily tried to take a deep breath. I was too late. In a matter of a second the cloth was soaked and I ended up with a mouth full of water instead of oxygen. I tried spitting it out but more just replaced it. Water ran up my nose and into my throat, burning and making me cough. I felt it as the water entered my lungs, but it seemed the more I coughed, the worse it was. I was drowning, and there was nothing I could do about it.
When I thought for sure I was going to die, all the weight lifted off of me, the cloth was removed, and the chair was upright again. I coughed and gagged, trying to force the water from my body. Minutes passed, and I was finally able to catch my breath. My eyes were blurry with unshed tears and I was shaking uncontrollably.
"Why are you here, Ms. Sage?" Dr. Thomas asked, again. I now understood the meaning behind his threatening words. It truly was in my best interest to answer his questions. I knew that now. I just didn't know if I could bring myself to do so. Torture or not, I loved Adrian more than anything in this world, and I was never going to let these people take that from me. And if I had to die here to protect that...well then so be it. I felt stronger with that thought. My mind felt clearer then it had in days. I drew from that a quiet strength, and forgot how in normal circumstances, I'd never be so un-lady like. Raising my head defiantly, I gathered all the moisture in my mouth and spat on him. To my satisfaction, it landed on his chin, just below his mouth. Not where I was aiming at, but it'd have to do.
"You're a bastard." I said, surprised at the strength in my voice after what I'd been through. I watched as his jaw ticked several times and he tried to keep a calm demeanor. I knew I'd made him angry though. He nodded at the men again, and for all my bravado, I still couldn't help the fear that spread through my veins. Once more I was drowning on the cold tile floor. I tried to summon the memory of Adrian's lips on mine, the beautiful green of his eyes, the warmth of his hands on my skin, but the pain in my arms and the burn in my lungs kept me firmly locked in reality. I've never been more afraid then I was in that moment, and yet I could feel my heart beat slowing down. My arms went numb, and I no longer had the energy to struggle. A thick blanket of darkness enveloped my entire body and as I began to fade away, I said a silent goodbye to the only man I'd ever loved, because I knew without a doubt that I'd never see him again.
"Ms. Sage! Wake up. We aren't finished yet."
Opening my eyes had to have been the worst mistake of my life. It felt like there was sand covering every part of my eyes and it was a challenge to keep them open. Even with them open, I could barely see through the blurriness. I recognized Dr. Thomas' voice, and hated the sound of it.
"Ah, good. You're awake. It's about time." He sounded gruffer then he did before.
I tried to move my hands but both of my arms were completely numb. I glanced down and wasn't surprised to see the beginnings of large bruises the size of a man's knee appearing on my skin. Dr. Thomas stepped behind me and leaned down to talk quietly in my ear.
"You're not who you think you are, Ms. Sage." He started, "You're not comfortable around vampires. You're not in love with one of them. And you're certainly no Alchemist." He leaned forward, as if to get a better look at me. "What would your father think?" Shaking his head, he continued, "Such a disappointment." He leaned away and walked in front of me again. He pulled up a chair I hadn't noticed and sat face to face with me. I tried hard to keep my head up, but was without the strength to do so, instead staring down at my drenched clothing.
"Do you know how bad your choices were, Ms. Sage? Do you realize how great a sin you committed? Getting that close to vampires...it's completely foul." He said with disgust clear in his voice, "It's evil. They are evil, and by association, you are evil too. Do you like being evil? Would you like to be a vampire? Do you realize the position you've put your family in? Your own father might well disown you; you've disappointed him so much. Your mother and older sister are sick with worry. Your younger sister, what was her name?" He paused, recalling, "Ah, right. Zoe. Well, let's just say she is on a much better track then you've ever been. According to your record, you have a tendency to make bad decisions. I don't think you're fit to be an Alchemist."
I listened to him go on and on, the guilt filling me up and eating away at every choice I'd ever made. Was I really evil? Was my mother really worrying that badly about me? Did I deserve her worry? Was my dad really going to disown me? Did he hate me that much? I would deserve it...wouldn't I? How had I let this happen? How had I ended up here? Were my choices really so bad?
I felt something crack inside me then. Something that felt like an important piece of myself. It cracked and crumbled and broke away from my spirit, drifting away, and with it followed another piece, and another. I was losing myself, yet I felt completely numb to it. I was vaguely aware that I should be afraid, that I didn't want to lose myself, but the other voices in my head were so much louder. Yelling at me, making sure I knew how much of a screw up I was. Making sure I knew how I'd tainted my soul. Making sure I could see how evil I'd become. I tried not to listen. I shook my head in hopes that the voices would fall out of my ears and tumble to the floor where I could crush them beneath my feet. But they only got louder. I struggled to put my hands over my ears, but was still confined to the chair.
"No." I breathed, "No. No. No! No! No! Shut up! Just shut up!" I'm sure I was screaming, but I didn't care. I just wanted the voices to stop. I didn't want to lose who I was. I didn't want to be reformed, and re-educated. I didn't want to have my beliefs taken from me and molded into a shape the Alchemists approved of. And most of all, I did not want to forget about my love for Adrian. I didn't want to allow these people to leave a black mark on my memories of him. I didn't want to think of him with disgust and fear. He was not someone to be feared. He was someone to be loved, and I was not going to give that up.
"I won't do it." I said, shaking my head violently, "I won't do it, and you can't make me." I raised my head, looking at Dr. Thomas in the eyes, "You can't make me forget."
Dr. Thomas looked at me as if he pitied me, and it made me want to spit on him again. He shook his head, sadly.
"Oh, Ms. Sage." He said in a feigned gentle voice, "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go to phase three with you, you being Jared's daughter, but it's clear now that we will have to."
He rose from the chair and walked to the door, exiting without looking back. I could barely hear the mumble of voices on the other side, but couldn't hear what was being said. A few moments passed, where I imagined what exactly phase three would consist of. A beating? A public execution to set an example? I realized later that I couldn't have been more wrong. The door opened again and the two men from before walked in. I let out a breath of relief when I saw no bucket and no cloth. Instead they carried an S shaped hook and more rope. I couldn't make sense of it.
One of the men untied me from the chair and I slumped forward, too exhausted to hold myself upright. The other man caught me before I fell off the chair, and in a surprisingly unexpected gesture, he cradled me gently in his arms. I would've been grateful, had he not been complicit in holding me in place while the other man retied my hands together and lifted them above my head, sliding them down over the hook that had been placed on one of the rafters in the ceiling. I was now hanging about a foot off the ground, and it was hard to breathe. Neither man said a word as they exited the room, taking both chairs with them.
I don't know how long I was hanging there, but my shoulders began to ache and my arms had gone numb all over again. My wrists were raw from the rope cutting into them, and I fought to catch every breath. At least it was quiet, I thought. That was my only mercy.
