I can not believe I'm doing a sequal! But I am… Please note this takes
place BEFORE Squire, so no K/C pairing. Sorry folks! So what happens when
the boys take Kel's advice? Oh, and I wouldn' count on a continuation of
this, though its certainly possible.
Kel hid a grin behind a gloved hand. It was almost time for supper, and she and the other pages had just finished training in hand to hand combat. She was sweating like a pig, and was almost certain she looked like one to. A very TALL pig, but a pig none the less. A bath would have felt like heaven, but she was more interested in the before dinner entertainment.
On the other side of the training courts Neal, who just so happened to run by Lady Oline, was trying yet again to charm her. But he used different tactics this time, and Kel half pitied the girl. Neal had combed his hair and put on a new formal outfit, though when he had he time to do that was beyond her. His eyes were turned all puppy dog, and his cheeks were blushing. He reminded Kel somewhat of the baby doll her older sister had given to her for her 8th birthday. It was down right scary, he was actually reading to her the aweful poetry he had written the night before. It had hurt not only Kel's heart, but also her ears, when he had practiced it the night before.
She slowly went closer, making sure to stay out of sight. Kel wanted to see Lady Oline's reaction to this new Neal. Croaching behind a tack bin, only feet away from the two, she listened as he spewed out "rhymes."
"And so, dear one,
I must admit you eyes are like honey,
Right after the buzzing bees beheld the beautiful baby blue flower
From which the honey came,
Not scarred by dirts and rocks and those little green worms that I find in my apples…
Now you're face on the other hand…"
Kel almost died trying to stop herself from laughing. This was the part where the face became a "sun colored with broken rays." She had told him to get rid of it, but he insisted that it was his favorite line. Aparently, it wasn't Oline's. She slapped him with her purse and Neal went tumbling to the ground. Kel wondered how many stones were in there. Oline picked up her skirts and huffed away, leaving a very confused baby doll Neal and a no longer hidden Kel.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" she panted between chuckles. "That. Was. Hilarious!" Finally she couldn't take it any more and she fell to her knees with laughter.
Neal looked positivaly puzzeled. "I was taking your advice, When all else fails look cute! My poetry was wonderful, it must have been the dirt on my collar, I TOLD my servent to wash it but…"
Kel laughed harder, "Don't worry. All bad poetry comes from genuine feeling." She assured him. Then she ran up the hill before he figured it out.
^^^^^^^^^^^^10 minutes later…^^^^^^^^^^^^
Neal stood on the hill, still confused. Then it clicked, "Hey! Kel… that wasn't funny!" he whined.
A few onlookers tried to stifle their laughter, but failed miserably. He gave them sharp looks and ran to the dining hall, where he was greeted with he glares of hungry pages.
***********Later that Night************
Kel looked around at the crowded library. Pages of all years were running around the bookshelves, and a few were comparing notes. Even her friends were there, scattered around the rooms.
She grabbed one of the pages, whom she recognised as a 2nd year. "What's going on? Why are so many people here?"
He yanked free of her loose grip and raced off, pausing only long enough to say, "Can't talk. Busy."
This, and the overwhelming amount o students here, surprised her. The teachers had been somewhat lenient, they had given enough time in class for almost every student to finish. So why was everyone here?
She set down her books (just because there wasn't homework didn't mean she shouldn't study) on a back table and wandered through the crowd. Looking over the boys' shoulders she almost laughed out loud.
How to be an Archeologist
Archeology for Beginners
How to Dig and Get Paid for it
Kel noticed that the last was the most popular. 'It figures' she thought. 'Maybe I should have added 'Don't take the easy way out'' She strolled around for a while, giving a few "helpful" tips to a couple of them. But she got bored pretty quick, and moved on to find a quieter place.
The halls were deserted, it seemed even the servants had better things to do. Oh well, she could always count on a good chat with Lalasa, or Roald. Of all the pages and squires in the library, he was the only one she had noticed missing. 'I suppose he must not need to look into the subject, with his arranged marriages and the like.'
That was the very reason she liked to talk to him, she knew he wouldn't be drooling over the new lady at court, like all the others would.
She found him in the garden, throwing stones at the lion fountain. He looked absoloutly depressed, with a hint of anger. Kel sighed and sat next to him, ignoring the looks a few jealous "ladies" of the court were sending her way. Didn't the fact that he was engaged hint anything to them?
"Hey Roald," she said quietly. He jumped a little and the rock he was holding barely missed hitting one of the ladies heads. She turned to glare at him, but the two squires paied her no attention.
Roald chucked another rock at the lion's head, and it neatly bounced off it's eye. A wry grin appeared on his lips, and he threw another in its wake.
Kel frowned but said nothing. It was none of her business anyway, or at least that's what she thought.
"You have no idea how much I hate being a prince."
It was a totally out of the blue statement, but Kel bit her tounge and nodded like she understood. In truth she had no idea what he was talking about, but why let him know that? As her old Yamani professer had once said, "Tis better to nod and let be, then to tangle with explinations."
Roald barely acnowledged her. His eye were fixated on a certain court beauty that had come strolling past. By the exaggerated swing in her hips, Kel knew her presence in their private conversation was no mistake on the intruders part.
Roald was silent, neither encouraging or discouraging her stay. Only his eyes, trailing up and down her slender body, showed his interest. When he made no move to get up, the girl left in a huff. Surely there were more giving men then this one that she could find?
Roald sighed wearily. "With girls, I don't get respect. Men will bend over backwords for my favor, but ladies will try and get me to show off to their friends. The next minute, their dumping me to prove they can."
Kel considered this. She supposed it was true enough. "I had a blind date, once. I waited two hours on the corner," she offered. "A guy walked by who fitted the description. I said 'Are you Richard of Lower bend?' He said, 'Are you that warrior girl?' I said, 'Yeah.' He said, 'I'm not Richard.'"
Roald laughed heartly at this, and even Kel had to crack a grin. "It wasn't so funny at the moment!" she protested in mock anger. "Though I suppose it all worked out for the best. I didn't even want to go courting."
A humerous silence filled between them. Kel was halfway shocked that another court lady hadn't shown up. They always popped in at every chance, and the quiet may have meant the prince was alone.
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
Kel started. "What?" she asked Roald, who shrugged.
"You weren't saying anything," he informed her.
"Oh."
From above them, the sound of a soft music drifted from the open window. A hearty laugh followed, suggesting at a not-so-private conversation inside.
"I wonder what that's about," Kel said, slowly removing her boots, which had begun to cramp her toes.
Roald grimiced. "My fathers trying to butter up to the Shwakin emperor again," he told her. "Something about a peace treaty. Idiots," he groaned. "How hard is it to just not kill each other? Why must we put our morals on paper?"
"Be careful whose toes you step on today," she warned her friend. "They might be attached to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow." Kel had now completely discarded her shoes, and was working on her socks. "Treaties simply pass on the wisdom of our forefathers."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity," the prince spat. "These treaties never work anyway, remember Scanra?"
Kel did remember. Thirty years ago the rival lands had drawn up a treaty, stating that no attack of any sort would be made by either party. It lasted three weeks, until, at a dinner party, a Scanra guest had been offended by a Tortallian's comment. "Verbal abuse!" he had moaned loudly. The Scanras had declared the treaty broken, and Tortall had had to give up an acre of land.
"Deja Moo," she told him.
"What?"
"The feeling that you've heard this bull before."
While the prince laughed, Kel rolled up the bottom of her breeches. Dipping a single toe in the fountains pool, she shivered. It was freezing. Slowly she placed both feet in and grabbed her boot. Dipping it into the water she filled it, like she had seen many village ladies do at wells.
"Hey Roald," she called.
Her friend turned around. His eyes widened with shock when her saw her knee deep in icy water. "Isn't that freezin—" he managed to say before she emptied the contents of her soaked boot onto his head. Sputtering, he spat some of the water onto the ground. His tunic showed dark spots, and his hair was flattened against his forehead.
Kel studied him. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed," she informed him with a Yamani look.
He glared at her, the cold beginning to wear through his patience. "I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce!"
Kel bowed formally, sweeping one arm behind her and bending until her nose touched her knees. "Whatever you say, my prince---hey!"
She whipped her head up to find Roald smiling madly through blue lips. In his hand he clenched her other boot, already used as a bucket to rain water down her tunic. He stuck a tounge out a Kel, who simply scooped up more water in the other boot. Aiming carefully, she let it loose on him.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Unbeknownst to the two knights in training, the beautiful court lady had not strayed so far. Indeed, her and a small group of friends were staring wistfully through the branches that hid them. Each girl wished they were in The Lumps place, and most were saying so.
"Whats she got that we don't?" asked one of them, a blonde haired dimwit named Raachel.
"Men's taste seem to be getting worse and worse," agreed another.
"She doesn't even moisterize! Look at her nails, for Mithros sake!"
Lorita of Boremi, the lady from before and the only one that had actually been out from behind the bush, glared ferociously at the two friends. "Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them," she muttered, focusing particularly on Keladry.
Raachel of Lubric nodded in agreement, which she did no matter the topic. Everything Lorita said, Raachel considered genius. Especially on the topic of men…"I can't believe those two are courting!" she whined. "Now what are we going to do at our We Love The Prince meetings?!"
Immedatly Lorita spun on her heel and stared haughtily at her companion. "I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said," Lorita spat. "The prince is courting that Yamani barbarian…"
Lorita words trailed off as a particularly evil thought entered her mind. Squeling in vicous delight, she clapped her hands together. "Ladies…"she began with a giggle. "I know a sure fire way to split these two lovebirds up!" The other girls leaned in with a hush, each having their own hero worship of Lorita. "What if the word got out that Roald and The Lump were, um, fooling around?"
The other girls gasped at the brilliance. "But that's lying…" protested one of them quietly.
Lorita gave an unladylike snort. "Nonsense," she said. "I said they were fooling around, and what are they doing if not behaving like fools?"
"Those who gossip to you will gossip of you," insisted Clarissa, a wise brunette who hung around Lorita for the sole purpose of getting a laugh.
"It's not me who can't keep a secret it's the people I tell that can't," Lorita retorted. "Besides, its not as if the Lump has a reputation to spoil. Why, with luck, she'll be expelled from training! Then maybe she'll start acting like a real girl."
Clarissa considered this. Perhaps, for once, Lorita was right. The lady page could use some lessons of a different sort. Besides that, Clarissa had seen Keladry sneaking not-so-friendly glances at Clarissa other true love, Joren of Stone Mountain. "Alight," she agreed finally. "Lets do it!"
And with that, the court ladies sped off toward the castle for a bit of fun.
Kel hid a grin behind a gloved hand. It was almost time for supper, and she and the other pages had just finished training in hand to hand combat. She was sweating like a pig, and was almost certain she looked like one to. A very TALL pig, but a pig none the less. A bath would have felt like heaven, but she was more interested in the before dinner entertainment.
On the other side of the training courts Neal, who just so happened to run by Lady Oline, was trying yet again to charm her. But he used different tactics this time, and Kel half pitied the girl. Neal had combed his hair and put on a new formal outfit, though when he had he time to do that was beyond her. His eyes were turned all puppy dog, and his cheeks were blushing. He reminded Kel somewhat of the baby doll her older sister had given to her for her 8th birthday. It was down right scary, he was actually reading to her the aweful poetry he had written the night before. It had hurt not only Kel's heart, but also her ears, when he had practiced it the night before.
She slowly went closer, making sure to stay out of sight. Kel wanted to see Lady Oline's reaction to this new Neal. Croaching behind a tack bin, only feet away from the two, she listened as he spewed out "rhymes."
"And so, dear one,
I must admit you eyes are like honey,
Right after the buzzing bees beheld the beautiful baby blue flower
From which the honey came,
Not scarred by dirts and rocks and those little green worms that I find in my apples…
Now you're face on the other hand…"
Kel almost died trying to stop herself from laughing. This was the part where the face became a "sun colored with broken rays." She had told him to get rid of it, but he insisted that it was his favorite line. Aparently, it wasn't Oline's. She slapped him with her purse and Neal went tumbling to the ground. Kel wondered how many stones were in there. Oline picked up her skirts and huffed away, leaving a very confused baby doll Neal and a no longer hidden Kel.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" she panted between chuckles. "That. Was. Hilarious!" Finally she couldn't take it any more and she fell to her knees with laughter.
Neal looked positivaly puzzeled. "I was taking your advice, When all else fails look cute! My poetry was wonderful, it must have been the dirt on my collar, I TOLD my servent to wash it but…"
Kel laughed harder, "Don't worry. All bad poetry comes from genuine feeling." She assured him. Then she ran up the hill before he figured it out.
^^^^^^^^^^^^10 minutes later…^^^^^^^^^^^^
Neal stood on the hill, still confused. Then it clicked, "Hey! Kel… that wasn't funny!" he whined.
A few onlookers tried to stifle their laughter, but failed miserably. He gave them sharp looks and ran to the dining hall, where he was greeted with he glares of hungry pages.
***********Later that Night************
Kel looked around at the crowded library. Pages of all years were running around the bookshelves, and a few were comparing notes. Even her friends were there, scattered around the rooms.
She grabbed one of the pages, whom she recognised as a 2nd year. "What's going on? Why are so many people here?"
He yanked free of her loose grip and raced off, pausing only long enough to say, "Can't talk. Busy."
This, and the overwhelming amount o students here, surprised her. The teachers had been somewhat lenient, they had given enough time in class for almost every student to finish. So why was everyone here?
She set down her books (just because there wasn't homework didn't mean she shouldn't study) on a back table and wandered through the crowd. Looking over the boys' shoulders she almost laughed out loud.
How to be an Archeologist
Archeology for Beginners
How to Dig and Get Paid for it
Kel noticed that the last was the most popular. 'It figures' she thought. 'Maybe I should have added 'Don't take the easy way out'' She strolled around for a while, giving a few "helpful" tips to a couple of them. But she got bored pretty quick, and moved on to find a quieter place.
The halls were deserted, it seemed even the servants had better things to do. Oh well, she could always count on a good chat with Lalasa, or Roald. Of all the pages and squires in the library, he was the only one she had noticed missing. 'I suppose he must not need to look into the subject, with his arranged marriages and the like.'
That was the very reason she liked to talk to him, she knew he wouldn't be drooling over the new lady at court, like all the others would.
She found him in the garden, throwing stones at the lion fountain. He looked absoloutly depressed, with a hint of anger. Kel sighed and sat next to him, ignoring the looks a few jealous "ladies" of the court were sending her way. Didn't the fact that he was engaged hint anything to them?
"Hey Roald," she said quietly. He jumped a little and the rock he was holding barely missed hitting one of the ladies heads. She turned to glare at him, but the two squires paied her no attention.
Roald chucked another rock at the lion's head, and it neatly bounced off it's eye. A wry grin appeared on his lips, and he threw another in its wake.
Kel frowned but said nothing. It was none of her business anyway, or at least that's what she thought.
"You have no idea how much I hate being a prince."
It was a totally out of the blue statement, but Kel bit her tounge and nodded like she understood. In truth she had no idea what he was talking about, but why let him know that? As her old Yamani professer had once said, "Tis better to nod and let be, then to tangle with explinations."
Roald barely acnowledged her. His eye were fixated on a certain court beauty that had come strolling past. By the exaggerated swing in her hips, Kel knew her presence in their private conversation was no mistake on the intruders part.
Roald was silent, neither encouraging or discouraging her stay. Only his eyes, trailing up and down her slender body, showed his interest. When he made no move to get up, the girl left in a huff. Surely there were more giving men then this one that she could find?
Roald sighed wearily. "With girls, I don't get respect. Men will bend over backwords for my favor, but ladies will try and get me to show off to their friends. The next minute, their dumping me to prove they can."
Kel considered this. She supposed it was true enough. "I had a blind date, once. I waited two hours on the corner," she offered. "A guy walked by who fitted the description. I said 'Are you Richard of Lower bend?' He said, 'Are you that warrior girl?' I said, 'Yeah.' He said, 'I'm not Richard.'"
Roald laughed heartly at this, and even Kel had to crack a grin. "It wasn't so funny at the moment!" she protested in mock anger. "Though I suppose it all worked out for the best. I didn't even want to go courting."
A humerous silence filled between them. Kel was halfway shocked that another court lady hadn't shown up. They always popped in at every chance, and the quiet may have meant the prince was alone.
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
Kel started. "What?" she asked Roald, who shrugged.
"You weren't saying anything," he informed her.
"Oh."
From above them, the sound of a soft music drifted from the open window. A hearty laugh followed, suggesting at a not-so-private conversation inside.
"I wonder what that's about," Kel said, slowly removing her boots, which had begun to cramp her toes.
Roald grimiced. "My fathers trying to butter up to the Shwakin emperor again," he told her. "Something about a peace treaty. Idiots," he groaned. "How hard is it to just not kill each other? Why must we put our morals on paper?"
"Be careful whose toes you step on today," she warned her friend. "They might be attached to the butt you have to kiss tomorrow." Kel had now completely discarded her shoes, and was working on her socks. "Treaties simply pass on the wisdom of our forefathers."
"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity," the prince spat. "These treaties never work anyway, remember Scanra?"
Kel did remember. Thirty years ago the rival lands had drawn up a treaty, stating that no attack of any sort would be made by either party. It lasted three weeks, until, at a dinner party, a Scanra guest had been offended by a Tortallian's comment. "Verbal abuse!" he had moaned loudly. The Scanras had declared the treaty broken, and Tortall had had to give up an acre of land.
"Deja Moo," she told him.
"What?"
"The feeling that you've heard this bull before."
While the prince laughed, Kel rolled up the bottom of her breeches. Dipping a single toe in the fountains pool, she shivered. It was freezing. Slowly she placed both feet in and grabbed her boot. Dipping it into the water she filled it, like she had seen many village ladies do at wells.
"Hey Roald," she called.
Her friend turned around. His eyes widened with shock when her saw her knee deep in icy water. "Isn't that freezin—" he managed to say before she emptied the contents of her soaked boot onto his head. Sputtering, he spat some of the water onto the ground. His tunic showed dark spots, and his hair was flattened against his forehead.
Kel studied him. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed," she informed him with a Yamani look.
He glared at her, the cold beginning to wear through his patience. "I don't know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to pronounce!"
Kel bowed formally, sweeping one arm behind her and bending until her nose touched her knees. "Whatever you say, my prince---hey!"
She whipped her head up to find Roald smiling madly through blue lips. In his hand he clenched her other boot, already used as a bucket to rain water down her tunic. He stuck a tounge out a Kel, who simply scooped up more water in the other boot. Aiming carefully, she let it loose on him.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Unbeknownst to the two knights in training, the beautiful court lady had not strayed so far. Indeed, her and a small group of friends were staring wistfully through the branches that hid them. Each girl wished they were in The Lumps place, and most were saying so.
"Whats she got that we don't?" asked one of them, a blonde haired dimwit named Raachel.
"Men's taste seem to be getting worse and worse," agreed another.
"She doesn't even moisterize! Look at her nails, for Mithros sake!"
Lorita of Boremi, the lady from before and the only one that had actually been out from behind the bush, glared ferociously at the two friends. "Some people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them," she muttered, focusing particularly on Keladry.
Raachel of Lubric nodded in agreement, which she did no matter the topic. Everything Lorita said, Raachel considered genius. Especially on the topic of men…"I can't believe those two are courting!" she whined. "Now what are we going to do at our We Love The Prince meetings?!"
Immedatly Lorita spun on her heel and stared haughtily at her companion. "I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said," Lorita spat. "The prince is courting that Yamani barbarian…"
Lorita words trailed off as a particularly evil thought entered her mind. Squeling in vicous delight, she clapped her hands together. "Ladies…"she began with a giggle. "I know a sure fire way to split these two lovebirds up!" The other girls leaned in with a hush, each having their own hero worship of Lorita. "What if the word got out that Roald and The Lump were, um, fooling around?"
The other girls gasped at the brilliance. "But that's lying…" protested one of them quietly.
Lorita gave an unladylike snort. "Nonsense," she said. "I said they were fooling around, and what are they doing if not behaving like fools?"
"Those who gossip to you will gossip of you," insisted Clarissa, a wise brunette who hung around Lorita for the sole purpose of getting a laugh.
"It's not me who can't keep a secret it's the people I tell that can't," Lorita retorted. "Besides, its not as if the Lump has a reputation to spoil. Why, with luck, she'll be expelled from training! Then maybe she'll start acting like a real girl."
Clarissa considered this. Perhaps, for once, Lorita was right. The lady page could use some lessons of a different sort. Besides that, Clarissa had seen Keladry sneaking not-so-friendly glances at Clarissa other true love, Joren of Stone Mountain. "Alight," she agreed finally. "Lets do it!"
And with that, the court ladies sped off toward the castle for a bit of fun.
