If you havn't already caught on, my stories are writen in first person with many different views. I don't know much about writing bifocal and if you could tell me anything you know about it that would be a great help, but I will be writing in something like a trifocal view. The Bifocal rule is still farly new to me so any advice or rules that you know would be great, so please send me your tip and advice.

I don't care that much for simple review like, 'that chapter was great!' (though I do like them) it's the imformation and advice sort of reviews that will make a difference. Now it is a review so please be as critical as you can! (but, please don't go over board and make it sound like you're scolding me...).

I know that this chapter is really short but I promise that the next will not disappoint. And if it does make you tell me what it is that I can do better.
Make sure that you tell me about any grammar mistakes I may have made. I am an author in training after all.

Also if you could give me advise on the attitudes of Edward, Alphonse and any other Fullmetal Alchemist characters that would be a great help.


Night to Noon

Chapter 2 Alphonse

'Damn,' Ed said as we walk back to our dorm. He was still frustrated with that girl from yesterday. He's been talking about her since we lost sight of her. He was quiet and first and didn't even say anything about his conversation with the Colonel.

'I can't believe the way she treated me after I pulled her out of the rain! She acted like it was my entire fault – even though she didn't say anything. I mean, she was the one fallowing us.' I was still a bit flustered too. I'm still trying to figure out why she looked at me the way she did.

It wasn't raining anymore but the ground was still wet. It was going to take a very long time to dry up.

'Well, you did push her on the ground.' Am I trying to defend that girl and not my own brother, what's going on with me?

'I did not, Al. She tried to get away and when I let her go she fell to the ground.' He looked up at me and he didn't look very happy with my comment but he blew it off easy enough.

'Al, what do you think she wanted from us?' That was a funny question but she was fallowing us.

'Maybe she was a fan,' I say with a small laugh.

'You think?' Uh-oh, if I know my brother he's going to brag about all the things that people like about him.

'I am a rather good alchemist,' here we go. 'Nah, she couldn't be. Could she? What do you think, Al?'

'Uhh,'

'You're right, Al. She must be, we are famous all over the place!' For someone as smart as my brother he sure has his head up in the clouds. I wonder if we'll ever see that girl again. I think we could set things straight then.

We get to our dorm which is paid for be the military which was good for us. As soon as we get there Ed decides that he wants to go for a walk. Of course he wants to go alone but I insist on going anyway. He turns me down and I'm stuck in this room by myself. I just lay there and soon find myself thinking about that girl from the night before.