Disclaimer: I really and truly don't own Naruto. Though, if I did, it would be Akatsuki based...
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2: Sasori
Warning: This made me depressed when I wrote it, fyi. I really pity Sasori.
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It wasn't often that I worried about Deidara. He could usually take care of himself. There were occasions where he had issues with school or in gang wars, and I could help him. But there were also rare moments where Deidara kept secrets that I couldn't help him with. These moments were the ones that I hated the most. I wanted to know what he was thinking, why he did certain things and I hated it when he kept secrets from me.
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For two days after Deidara got that envelope from Kurinai, he was absent. I couldn't get a hold of him; his phone was turned off, his mom told me he was out when I called his home phone and when I showed up at his house he was never home. It really ticked me off. I had no idea what he was doing now. When he came back to school, he wouldn't tell me what he'd been doing. He did apologize for having his phone off – even if he had come up with the lame "my phone was dead" excuse. I gave up though. I'd figure out what he was up to, just not right away, apparently.
On Friday, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, and I ditched school and went to the park. It was funny; over by the parking lot was where we'd had our big, bloody gang war with The Guardian last year; the police had shut down the whole park for investigation. For awhile, the mayor had debated whether or not to get rid of the park because parents were saying it wasn't safe for their children. In the end, he decided not to demolish it because it would have been a waste of money (surprisingly, they'd spent a lot of money building this park). There were just never any children here. We usually used it when we needed a place to hang out when we didn't want to go to our houses or when we wanted to ditch school.
"Didn't want to get dressed today, Deidara?" I asked my boyfriend from on top of the monkey bars.
Deidara looked over at me from on top of the slide and said, "Kind of. It seemed like too much of a hassle since we were just going to ditch school anyway, yeah."
Zetsu and Tobi were swaying on the swings a little farther from us. "Yeah, why get school clothes dirty when you can just wear your pajamas?" Tobi called. I knew he was being sarcastic because we had to wear school uniforms. Deidara wasn't a big fan of them; he didn't seem to like getting dressed in everyday clothes either though.
"That's my logic, yeah. I hate getting dressed," Deidara replied, grinning widely.
"Your logic is always messed up, man," Zetsu told him with a teasing smile.
I started swinging my legs back and forth. "You really think that The Guardian's given up, Deidara?" I finally asked. I had been wondering about it since the gang war with them and even more after Kurinai had showed up a few days ago.
It was quiet for a few moments, save for the creaking from the swings. "No," Deidara answered calmly. "They'll probably pick a new leader and start wreaking havoc again, yeah. They don't stay down for very long. Did you know that Kakashi wasn't actually the person who created the gang, yeah? It was actually a guy named Orochimaru and he was all set on keeping his neighborhood safe – that's why they were The Defenders first. I don't know the whole story, but after Orochimaru left, Kakashi took his place and went…well, kind of crazy, yeah. He thought that they could wipe out all the other gangs and make the surrounding area safe – city after city. I'm pretty sure Orochimaru's has a new gang now, yeah."
"How'd you find that out, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi asked, sounding intrigued.
"I looked it up, yeah," Deidara told him with a grin. "It wasn't that hard, actually. I found someone from the gang who'd been there since Orochimaru created the gang and asked him about it, yeah. He didn't know the whole story either, though. I thought I could look it up, but no one knew the names of the people in the gang unless they were arrested, yeah. It was almost disappointing, but I found out that Orochimaru has a small gang right outside of this city!"
"Really?" I looked at Deidara questioningly. "Is that what you were doing those two days?"
"That was part of it, yeah," Deidara confirmed. "I wanted to get a hold of Orochimaru but couldn't get any more info on him. It doesn't matter anyway, yeah."
"It does if you're that curious about him and his gang," Zetsu countered. "You're always doing stuff when you think it'll be useful. So why is getting in contact with Orochimaru so important?"
"It's just a thought, yeah," Deidara reminded us sternly. "But the guy I talked to said that Orochimaru was really set on keeping the places around him safe and if he felt threatened, he'd call an all-out gang war – to the death. I'm wondering what would happen if he found out that The Guardian's been so close to him, yeah."
"He'd probably have heard it on the news, Dei. And if he had, he's obviously not the same paranoid guy that created the gang in the first place," I told him. I was pretty skeptical on the whole idea. If the guy was still so paranoid, he would have come after us a long time ago. I pointed this out to Deidara who nodded reluctantly.
"I didn't think about that, yeah. I guess I had my hopes up…" Deidara sighed looked down at the gravel below. "It's still interesting, yeah. I never thought that someone else had created The Guardian. Kakashi was so powerful and everyone listened to him, it seemed natural that he'd have gotten the gang together, yeah. But now to find out that this Orochimaru had actually been the creator of that gang…"
"It is interesting," Tobi agreed. "Kakashi had everyone wrapped around his finger. Tobi didn't even think that Kakashi could have taken the gang."
"Taken?" Zetsu asked, sounding stunned and confused. "Deidara said that Orochimaru left!"
Tobi looked at him, his head tilted to one side slightly. "Tobi knows that's what he said, but he also knows that it means something different. When you say that the leader of a gang 'left his gang', it means the gang was taken from him. Usually another member of the gang takes it by either earning the respect of others and overthrowing the original leader or killing him. It's easy to do either if you're the runner up leader – also known as, second in command."
Deidara nodded. "Kakashi must have been second in command then, yeah. That or he was a rebellious member and he scared several of his comrades into helping him overthrow the leader."
"It's like the ancient Chinese emperors that I learned about in my sophomore year," I commented, trying to think back to the lesson. "A lot of rulers were killed or overthrown – often both!"
"I never thought about it like that, but you're right, yeah. It is like that…" Deidara agreed, looking at me with a strange look.
"Wait. So now that Kakashi's dead, the second in command's taken his place, right?" Zetsu asked me, looking worried.
"Probably." Deidara stared into the sky. "What I want to know is who the new leader's second in command is now, yeah…"
Tobi shook his head and almost fell of the swing. "You're thinking too hard, Deidara-senpai."
Deidara looked at him and grinned. "That's a possibility, yeah."
I stared at him. He wouldn't have said all that if he wasn't trying to make a point. But I didn't get it. It was like a puzzle that was missing several pieces. I wanted to get the rest of the pieces but Deidara changed the subject before I could say anything.
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When I got home later that afternoon, my mom and brother were home. My cousins, Kankuro and Temari, were there too. I briefly greeted them before I disappeared into my room. I didn't really want to face my mom yet. She'd probably have gotten a call from my school by now and she'd be dying to have a "talk" with me. I was pretty sure that it was my tenth time sluffing in the past two months. I tried to keep the days that I sluffed random so that it didn't look too bad. My permanent record was probably totally botched by now though.
I was starting to have my doubts about getting into college. It'd never been a big dream of mine, but I knew it'd been my mom's big dream for me since I first started school. I wished she'd put all this pressure on Gaara. We were actually pretty alike, even if I didn't like to admit it. If she wanted one of us to get into college, she should pressure Gaara because he was way smarter than me and he hadn't messed up his life yet.
I heard my mom shouting at me from downstairs. It looked like I'd run out of time before her talk. I slumped out of my room and downstairs where she led me to the family room. It also seemed that I'd get an audience. How wonderful, I thought sarcastically.
"I got a call from your school today," my mom started. It was how she started every "talk". It still didn't have any effect on me.
"So? I bet they had a lot to say about how wonderful I am," I told her sarcastically. I was tired of this. If she wanted to believe that I was just rebellious and that's why I kept sluffing, then I'd let her believe that. It was way better than the truth – and by better, I mean entertaining.
"No. They told me that you weren't in school today. Funny…I don't remember calling in and telling them that you'd be absent," she replied and Kankuro snickered. I didn't respond. "Do you know how many calls about this I've gotten this year, Sasori? I have enough to stress over and I don't need you to add to it. I've got work; taking care of both you and Gaara…You're seventeen. Next year you'll – hopefully – be in college and out on your own. Shouldn't you start acting like you're seventeen and not seven?"
"I have been. In fact, I've been doing everything you tell me to – minus getting a perfect attendance. It doesn't really matter though," I informed her angrily. I'd heard this too many times and I was really tired of it. "You've got so many expectations of me; don't you think that I might not want to live up to them? Don't you think that I might want my own life?!"
It was quiet for a minute. Finally my mom said, "That doesn't have anything to do with you missing all these days of school, Sasori."
"Of course not," I grumbled, folding my arms over my chest. "It never does."
"You're such a good student, but you keep missing all these days and it's going to affect everything you've worked so hard on," my mom told me compassionately.
I lost it. "I told you that it doesn't matter! I'm not going to college! I never planned on it! I don't care about school and everything that I've 'worked so hard on'! It doesn't matter to me! It only matters to you! You worry so much about me and you care about how my life is going and Gaara sits through it getting shafted. Have you even noticed that you have another son?! You never care about his grades – do you even know if he's sluffing?! I do. I've had to congratulate him for every A he's gotten and tell him how awesome it is that he's got a perfect attendance. I'm not you! I can't do it like you! I'm not the only thing in your life!!" I spun and stormed out the front door, breathing heavily. I walked slowly off my porch and to the sidewalk. I went down the street toward the small park down there. I didn't trust myself enough right then to drive anywhere. I went to a grassy part of the park – checking for dog crap – and then lay down. I stared up at the blue sky, watching the wispy clouds float through it.
By sunset, I decided to go home. When I walked in, no one said anything or looked up. Grateful, I went up to my room and got ready for bed. I'd have to go make something to eat because I hadn't eaten since lunch, but it seemed so tense down there that I didn't want to risk it yet. Instead, I fished around in my backpack until I found my MP3. I lay down on my bed listening to my music until I fell asleep.
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The next day was Saturday – the dreaded day. When I wandered downstairs to get something to eat, I saw Temari and Kankuro still sleeping in the family room. I quietly fixed myself something to eat and cleaned up my mess when I was done (hey, a little can get you a long way). I quickly went upstairs and got dressed, then bounced downstairs. When I got downstairs, my mom was making herself some coffee. I wanted to slip out, go to Deidara's or something, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. My mom didn't know what my life was actually like – she wasn't like Deidara's mom, a doctor; she wasn't like Kakuzu's mom, who didn't care about anything he did; she wasn't like Hidan's mom, who agreed with Hidan when he said that someone deserved to die; she didn't even like gangs or killing. Every time I snapped like I had last night, I'd feel guilty because my mom had no idea what I was really up to. I didn't want to tell her either.
"Mom?" I called, walking into the kitchen. Gaara, Temari and Kankuro were all playing a video game that they paused when I walked in. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
She turned around, coffee cup in hand, and smiled brightly at me. If only she knew. "Of course, honey. What's up?"
I still didn't get how she could do that – pretend that everything was okay when we both knew it wasn't. "I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. School's been stressful; you've been putting stress on me. I've been trying to keep calm, but it's kind of hard. Haven't you ever felt like that?"
"I feel like that all the time. I try to vent in other ways, rather than yelling at you and Gaara though," she told me softly as she stared at me. I felt like she was trying to see inside my head. "What else is going on?"
"I'm going to some clubs after school and stuff because I always have so much time to kill," I told her quickly and coolly. "Maybe I should quit a few and calm down."
My mom nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe you should…Hey, are you doing anything today?"
"I wasn't really planning on anything unless Deidara calls later. But I doubt he will – he's hosting his little sister's party today. He might ask me to come help him though," I informed her, not really wondering what she was getting at.
"That's right…Gaara, Temari and Kankuro were invited to that," my mom said. Her voice sounded so far away and I started wondering if she was back on drugs. I suddenly felt guiltier than before. If she had overdosed again, it would have been my fault for stressing her out so much last night. "So will you take them? The invite's on the fridge so you know what time it's at. I have to get ready for work." She walked out of the kitchen and upstairs.
I sat down on one of the bar stools. For one of the first times in a long time, I wished that my dad were still alive. He would have calmed her down last night – no, my mom and I wouldn't have even fought if he were still around. I put my head on the counter and moaned. I was wrong to think like that; he'd never cared. One of the main reasons I'd never told my mom that I was in a gang was because my dad had been in one and he'd died fighting in a gang war. I'd never stopped to think about it because I knew that if I did, I'd chicken out and quit the gang. And I didn't want to do that. Besides, I wasn't anything like my dad. He'd been careless and he hadn't cared about his family at all. I called his death karma.
"Sasori, when's Ino's birthday party?" Gaara suddenly asked. I sat up again and looked over at him. He seemed worried.
I stood up and went to the fridge. I found the invite and glanced at the time. "In about two hours," I told my little brother. "So if you're not ready, get ready." Gaara, Temari and Kankuro all scrambled as I looked for something to eat. I still hadn't decided on anything when the phone rang. I walked over to it and answered, "Hello?"
"Hey, 'Sori! What cha up to, yeah?" Deidara asked brightly. I didn't know how he did it, but he always seemed to call at the right time.
"I was looking for something to eat and trying to calm myself down," I told him, glancing into the living room to make sure that none of the kids were around to hear me. "My mom and I fought last night and I think she overdosed again this morning."
"Again? If she keeps this up, she's gunna kill herself, yeah," Deidara replied, sounding worried. "What's she taking and how much?"
I searched the medicine cabinet but couldn't find any missing drugs. Instead, I found pot. I practically dropped the phone and passed out. I'd always thought that my mom had been overdosing on a prescription drug, not an illegal drug. No wonder she always sounded stoned, not high. "Deidara…She's not overdosing on anything. She's smoking pot…"
There was a pause and then Deidara said, "Where the hell did she get that, yeah?!"
"Why? You want some? 'Cause there's plenty," I told him sourly.
"No. That's not it, yeah." Another pause. "I wanted to know because I was talking to Kisame last night and he was telling me that there are a few gangs around here that sell that shit. It's not cheap either, yeah. You have to know people from the gangs in order to get a discount. Like, prostitute know, yeah. And you said your mom wasn't associating with gangs anymore."
"She's not," I said firmly, but I was shaking. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. I thought my mom had given up dating guys from gangs. She knew better! I knew better! But I also believed Deidara and that was because I'd looked it up briefly once when I thought it would be fun to smoke pot. "I can't believe this…"
"Are you even sure it's pot, yeah?" Deidara asked, obviously trying to make me feel better.
"Well it's not maple leaves," I told him bitterly. "I just don't get why it's in such an obvious place."
"Maybe she was smoking it last night and was stoned enough to forget that she was supposed to hide it, yeah," Deidara suggested, sounding more distracted now.
I glanced at the microwave clock. We'd been talking for less than fifteen minutes. "I don't care. It doesn't even matter, you know? If she decides to smoke it, and she dies, then Gaara and I'll be sent into foster care for a year. Then I'll go get a job and an apartment and Gaara and I can live on our own. It's not like I haven't already been caring for my little brother anyway. She's never helped me out. She'll leave twenty bucks for me to buy groceries or whatever. Do you know how much it is to pay for food for Gaara and me? For a week, it's more than twenty. I'm almost bankrupt – that's right, I'm seventeen and almost broke – because I've been taking money out of my account to pay for food." I started crying. I knew it technically wasn't abuse yet. It was just neglect and it barely passed as that because she remembered that we needed to eat and she remembered that I was in school.
"Sasori, calm down, yeah. You're totally bumming me out. She's not going to die and you're not going to go bankrupt; I'll help out if you want, yeah. You can stay with my family for awhile too, if you want. You're seventeen, you've still got another year before you can start worrying about this shit, yeah," Deidara told me soothingly. "Show her how much she should care. Just stop worrying like you're twenty, yeah. You're still, technically, a kid."
I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me. I tried to calm down, stop the tears. It took a bit of an effort, but I managed. "You're right. I am still just a kid – until next year. I think I'll be fine, money wise. I just need to get a job or something…"
"A job? Sasori, you've got a full time job as a gang member, yeah. I know it doesn't pay, but you won't have time for another job. You can't just drop what you're doing to go to a gang war if you're working – like you can now, yeah," Deidara reminded me slowly, sounding uncertain.
"Then I'm screwed," I said bluntly. "That's basically what you're saying. This isn't fair! I didn't have to worry about this before!"
"Don't worry about it now, yeah. We'll help you rob a bank or something," Deidara told me playfully, trying to cheer me up. "You want to bring your brother and cousins over early, yeah? Shikamaru's already here. They can find something to do for an hour while we set up and talk, yeah."
"Sure, my hand's cramping anyway," I agreed. I wanted to talk to him in person anyway. "Thanks, Dei. You're way too nice to me."
"You don't deserve all the shit you're getting, yeah," Deidara said firmly. "You're such a nice guy. You don't deserve any of this shit you've been through, yeah."
"That's debatable," I muttered. "But thanks. I'll see you in awhile." We said bye to each other and hung up. "Guys?!" I called up the stairs. "We're going to Deidara's early!"
Kankuro cheered and a few minutes later, the three of them were downstairs, each holding a gift for Ino. I was pretty impressed. "Sasori…Were you crying?" Gaara's smile faded and he looked at me worriedly.
"Nah; I've been rubbing my eyes because I'm still not really awake," I told him reassuringly.
"Who were you talking to?" Gaara asked suspiciously.
"Deidara. He called to invite us to come over early and we got caught up talking about an upcoming gang war," I answered, getting impatient.
Gaara's eyes widened. "Another one already? Are you going?"
"It's not for another few weeks and of course I'm going. I'm not going to let my friends go in there alone," I snapped. I wasn't actually sure if my gang was planning on another gang war, but I had to have a convincing lie or else Gaara would see right through me. "Let's go." We went out to my car and less than five minutes later we were on our way to Deidara's. I noticed that my mom's car was still in the driveway and my heart sank.
I hope I don't come home and find her dead…
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A/N: I'm sad. This was a really depressing chapter to write. I feel so bad for Sasori. His life is so hard. And I thought Deidara had been through shit. I guess I got lost in the character. I've never bothered to tell a lot about their lives, but now that I'm getting into that, it kind of makes more sense that they're in a gang, ne? I'll try not to focus too much on that because a) it's depressing and b) they're not all that important in this story – although some of the info about their lives will come in handy later, so bear with me. On the upside, this chapter is even longer than my longest Sasori chapter in the last story! Cheers to me!
Deidara's nice. Please review.
