Nary: WE! second part!

Aragorn: whos Bob?

Nary: im not sure... my friend wrote that part... so ask her...

Disclaimer: you know the drill...


Kuraishi: BOB!

Tarenya: KURAISHI!

Kuraishi: WHAT?


Fireworks shoot out across the sky. A tent flies up into the air and forms a giant turtle that slowly starts towards the screaming people. Very slowly…slowly…slow… Gandalf gives Merry and Pippin a wedge. "Look what you did! Poor turtle was to be saved for last! Hiss!"

"O.O"

"Suffer!" Gandalf makes them do the dishes.


Kuraishi: I love the third movie's extended scenes! 20 out of 20 for Sarumon, and Legolas is just so funny!

Tarenya: I know! "I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me!" We must add that later!

Kuraishi: We must! .


Pippin starts singing in a high-pitched voice, while he does the dishes. "PERRTY HORSIE! YOU'RE SO LOVELY! WHY YOU RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Merry whacks him upside the head, not knowing his own strength, knocking him out.

To Frodo and Sam

"YOU WILL DANCE WITH HER!"

"I'm scared…"

Frodo pushes Sam into the prancing Rose nearby. Sam is sweating and just peed his pants.

Gandalf

Stares at Merry and Pippin

Bilbo Bag…BILBO ABDOMEN!


Tarenya: O.o… o.O Why Abdomen?

Bilbo appears: I like the sound of Abdomen…

Kuraishi: Erm…um… (Runs away screaming) OOO pretty butterfly (runs into tree)

Bilbo and Tarenya: O.o… back to the story…o.O…yeah…


"SPEECH! SPEECH!" some hobbit yells.

Bilbo screams back. "NEVER! IN A MILLION YEARS!" A duck flies into the scene and hits Bilbo in the head. "FINE! But y'all owe me BIG time!"

SPEECH: (of Bilbo Bagg…Bilbo Abdomen)

"As you all know I am coming upon one hundred and elevnty years of age. I am definitely not proud to have known any of you." A gasp is heard somewhere in the crowd, and Bilbo waves it away. "All of you; The Proudfoots'…"

"Proudfeet!" someone smoking a pipe in crowd says again Bilbo waves it away.

"All of you; the Proudfeet, Baggins, blah blah blah… I will be leaving now and I will not be coming back for the rest of my life…" Frodo gasps and is shocked about this very disturbing news, everyone else laughs. Gandalf gets up and glares at everyone, the laughing stops. As everyone looks back at Bilbo and everyone gasps again. Bilbo is GONE! OH NO! WHAT SHALL WE DO!


Tarenya: (looks around all scared like) where did he go? (Scareder look) I think I just peed my pants! MOMMY!

Kuraishi: Calm down! Sheesh! He put the banana peel on his head and made himself invisible…remember?

Tarenya: (is calmed down now) oh…oh yeah! I remember (blush) now…

Kuraishi: oh brother…


Bilbo

Bilbo walks up the path to Bag End and snickers idiotically. Upon entering the house he throws the banana up then sticks it in his pocket, snickering all the while. Going into the living room he is startled…not startled…scared by Gandalf at the fireplace.

"Bilbo B…Abdomen!" Gandalf turns, his voice ringing in the halls. "How could you trick them like that?"

"I never liked them…"

"Oh well in that case… But what of Frodo?"

"He's ok…but…" Bilbo stalled.

"Give-Him-The-Banana!" Gandalf's words were mashed together and rashly spoken.

"But meh wants it…Meh thinks it looks good on my head!"

"But you can't see yourself when it's on your head…"

"True…but…you want it for yourself!"

"NO WAY DUDE! I mean" clears throat. "Bilbo Abdomen! I have no use for it! Though my wife would look mighty fine with it on…"

"What wife?"

"My pet tortoise!"


Tarenya: O.O Kuraishi…you are strange…

Kuraishi: I know… .


Later when Frodo runs in

"Jennifer! Jennifer!"

"O.O" Gandalf stares then shoots Frodo with a machine gun. Doesn't hit him once. "Man! I need to practice!" Hits Frodo with his staff knocking him out.

When Frodo wakes up a week later

"What…what happened to meh?" Frodo holds his head and scratches it like crazy. "Meh think I got lice…"

Gandalf stares and is about to shoot again when he remembers the banana. He takes it and puts it in an envelope and hands it to Frodo, who in turn takes it. "Keep it secret…keep it safe… AND DON'T YOU DARE START SINGING!"

"KEEP IT SECREEEET! KEEP IT SAAAAAAAAAAAAFE!" Pippin is heard singing, walking down the road, high, once again, on horses.

Gandalf and Frodo stare at the high off horses Pippin "O.O" Gandalf then breaks the stare and turns to Frodo. "I must go and search for some things…Remember: Keep it secret and safe!"

"KEEP IT SECRET! KEEP IT SAFE!" birds fly out if the tree, and some die. Some of the birds run into walls and trees in the poor attempt to get away. Pippin begins running around, screaming like a little girl.


Kuraishi: I think we should get back to Frodo now…

Tarenya: (nods while watching Pippin) now that's hardcore entertainment!

Kuraishi: I know!


Frodo opens the large envelope and takes out the banana. He looks at it with hunger in his eyes. "Can…Can I…Can I eat it?"

"NO!" Gandalf uses chopsticks to pick it up and throws the banana in the fire.

"Are we having a cooked banana split party?" The banana is thrown out of the fire "WOW" Frodo gawks.

"Do you see anything strange about the banana, Frodo?"

"Well, it's dancing…"

"Other than that. Like…is there any writing on it? Or anything like that?"

"Uhh… No… WAIT! I see something forming on the bottom… But it doesn't look like English…"

"Its not English. It's in Banaishlimicabalana. It says 'One banana to rule them all, one banana to give them hope, or to take it, one banana to enslave the rightful world, and give the master the King!'" Gandalf stopped. "I mean, 'to enslave the rightful king and give the master the world…"

"I am a banana!" a voice rang out in their ears.

Frodo looks around. "Wha-who was that?"

"That was the One Banana!"

"Hey! I heard of that Banana! I read about him in my book 'How to Manage Your Banana!' It was under the topic 'Naming', which was step three! 'First you must have a banana… Then you must keep it safe. Next you name it and give it washes regularly… Then you have to…

"THAT'S ENOUGH! Keep it secret keep it safe. And DO NOT put it on your head…" Gandalf sees that Frodo is doing his happy dance because he has the 'One Banana' mentioned in his book. "Never mind… Go ahead and put it on." Gandalf smiles evilly.

Frodo looks up. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"Yes…keep it secret, keep it safe. DO NOT put it on and… HEY! I said this already!"

"I know…I just wanted you to be ann-"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" (Says a voice from the window) "Attack turtle!"

Gandalf goes over to the window and picks Sam up. "Samwise Gamgie! Were you eavesdropping?"

"Yes sir… I mean, No sir… I mean, may-beh…"

"That's my boy!" Gandalf grins.

"Uhh…" Sam and Frodo back away…

"What? He…uhh…um…er…you see…He…I got it! He called me sir!" Frodo and Sam still back away from the very very VERY weird, insane Gandalf. Gandalf is seen petting his wife turtle…


So? still no nose bleed? all well...

please review for little young me! and flamers if you have too, i will accept them