A/N- Hey everyone, the new chapter is up! Sorry that it took so long but I have been living a hectic life the last couple of weeks. It would be greatly appreciated if you could follow, favourite and review. If you have any questions or suggestions with the book feel free to pester me until I answer :)

Also I am hoping to post a chapter every 1-2 weeks. Have fun reading, hope you enjoy!

From your author,

Amelia (Demisirius) xxx

James P.O.V

I just left. I left her standing there with all of what I had said weighing down on her mind. I'm selfish, I know, but I just had to tell her. Every argument that I have with her tears me apart. Every argument puts me a step back from getting her to be mine.

Lily Evans is the one thing tearing my heart apart. She is in every thought that I have, every movement that I make, her opinion and approval is what I strive for.

But then there is what is right for me.

I know that I have to be true to myself, but I see her as part of me, I can see her in my future. What she wants me to be is not who I am. If she just got to know me.

All the things that I do are things to get her to notice me.

The only problem is she doesn't approve. It's like she puts all of her anger into me. She doesn't want me to know her because of it.

I can't base my life on what-if's anymore, that's why I had told Lily almost everything. Almost - I can't tell her everything yet.

All of these thoughts crowd my head, keeping me awake, into the early hours of the morning.

I can no longer take it, I get up and go down to the common room.


Lily P.O.V

I get up out of bed, feeling distant and slow. My mind is still trying to comprehend what has happened.

I head down to the common room.

I get to there and the fire is starting to die down. In front of the fire I can make out the figure of a certain dark haired boy, one who has made me in the state that I am right now. My mind is contemplating whether to sit down or go back to my room.

Of course, I decide to sit down because my common sense has left my brain at this time of night.

I sit next to him and we are both silent for what feels like forever. Finally he breaks the silence; "What are you doing up at this hour" James asks.

"I could ask the same with you" I shoot back.

"Alright Lily... No need to get your knickers in a knot"

I sigh "It's Evans, Potter... and I'm up here because a certain somebody has made my head go bonkers. I can't sleep because of the decision that you left me with. I'm a good person James, and I want to be your friend but from hating you for five years to going straight to friends is asking a lot of me. My mind is confused and I really don't know what to do." I got up quickly and turned on my heel, leaving my words to daunt him just like he has done to me. "Lil-Evans wait." I stop, why am I stopping, don't turn around you stupid girl, keep walking. Of course I do turn around and I stare straight at Potter, waiting for a grand speech to come.

"I came down because I couldn't sleep either. Lily, I meant what I said earlier, please believe me, be my friend and I can show you that this identity in your head that you have made up for me, isn't the real me, just let me show you." Again for the second time that night my mouth is wide open, I close it slowly and say to Potter "I'll sleep on it James" Oh Lily Marie Evans why did you say James.

"You called me James" Potter said dumbstruck

"It is your name" I reply

"But you never call me James, it's always been Potter" he say, still recovering from the shock.

"I know "I say "But if you want to be friends than you better get used to me calling you that." I walk up to the girl dorms and whisper "Goodnight James"

I hear a faint

"Goodnight Lily"


That morning I get up, feeling a little better and a little less weighed down by my emotions. I look at the time...8:15...Shit, I was late and my friends hadn't even bothered to wake me up. Some friends that I've got...

I quickly have a shower, put on my robes and sprint down the stairs. It's now 8:30 and class starts in fifteen minutes, I'm hoping to make a quick pit stop by the Great Hall for a rushed breakfast.


I'm scoffing down my toast desperate to make it to class on time when a familiar face comes into view. James Potter is making his way to the table, apparently I'm not the only one who slept in this morning.

"Hello Lily" James says in a cheerful voice. How can someone be so cheerful at this time, on a Monday morning. "Hello James, how are you this morning" I ask politely. I'm trying to make up my mind on whether I should run to class or wait for him, he is my friend after all.

I decide to wait for him. I'm making polite conversation with James when I realise what time it is. 8:50. We're running late.

I grab James arm and run towards the dungeons for potions, the first lesson of the day. James' expression is easy to read as I pull him around the castle, he is surprised and a little annoyed as his cereal had gotten all over him when I had grabbed him.

We get to the classrooms door and I stop, steady my breath, smooth my hair and walk in. Professor Slughorn is in the middle of a lecture when we walk in and James and I quickly mutter an apology. We grab a seat towards the back looking very flustered. Marlene whom is sitting next to Sirius is shooting me a suggestive look towards me. I roll my eyes and sink further into my chair as I listen to Professor Slughorn.

Just the way to start the term.

Professor Slughorn is talking about the draught of the living death. A sleeping potion so powerful that it makes you appear dead. I look for it in my textbook and see that it has many ingredients such as powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood. The potion reminded me of the muggle story Romeo and Juliet.

Potions is probably my best subject. Professor Slughorn adores me, a little too much for my liking, but I can't deny that I don't love some of the attention.

Half an hour later Slughorn had finished his lecture and was assigning us to the practical.

"Ok sixth years, I'm going to be partnering you up and these will be the partners you will have until the Christmas break."

I pray with all my might that I don't end up with Snape.

"Mckinnon and Black"

Marlene rolls her eyes at this.

"Greengrass and Pettigrew"

"Lupin and Prewett"

"Jones and Avery"

Hestia makes a face at me that can only be described as disgust. I give her a thumbs up, at least I'm a supportive friend.

"Potter and Collins"

I turn around and see Penelope winking at James, I pretend to barf and turn around just in time to hear...

"Snape and Evans"

Now I actually think I'm going to be sick. I pick up my textbook and walk over to Snape.

"Lily I'm really sorr..."

"Don't even start Sev I'm not in the mood. You keep saying sorry but you aren't changing your actions. You still hang out with Avery, Crabbe and they are just creepy Sev. You say sorry to me and promise to never call me a mudblood again but then you go and call everyone else with my blood status that name. I'm sorry but I'm not prepared to forgive you for something that you aren't changing."

"Well you hang around with toerags like Potter." He spits out. Now he had just passed the line. My anger was boiling over and I knew I was going to do something I was going to regret. "You are not the boss of me Severus, I can choose my own friends, and obviously I didn't do a good thing choosing you as one."

"But Lily..." Severus starts but I cut in, my voice like a knife.

"No Sev, I don't want to hear it. Can we just make the potion, and please not continue this conversation."

"But Lily I'm really sorry can..."

I pick up my textbooks and ingredients and run out of the classroom before I can hear the rest of the sentence.

Tears cloud my vision as I run to a place that I can find my sanity. I fall onto the floor and I don't even know where I am. I don't know what I'm crying about but I am and I can't seem to stop.

Lily Evans will you grow up already


James POV

"Potter and Collins"

Great I'm with Penelope, everyone knows that she has a big crush on me, which I don't return by the way. I turn around and look at her she winks at me ugh that has got to be a disgrace on the female race. At least Lily isn't like that... wait I can't think like that, we're just friends.

For the rest of the lesson I stare at Lily and Snivellus. Was it with jealousy, I'm not sure.

"James" Penelope is calling me away from my distant staring.

"You have to add the infusion of wormwood"

After completing this instruction I go back to taking hasty looks towards Lily. Oh who am I kidding, I was definitely not over Lily.

Okay, maybe I am jealous because Lily seems to speaking more with her ex-best friend then she ever had in our six years of being at school.

Oh wait... Why is she running out of the classroom.

I stand up and make a move to go after her when all of a sudden Padfoot is behind me.

"Let her go, just give her some space."


Lily running out of the classroom caused quite a stir. However due to my great self restraint I hadn't gone after her (thanks to Sirius) but I was still feeling bad. I had to find her, looks like the Marauder's Map would be in use for the first time this year.

I later found her in an empty transfiguration classroom. She sat curled in a ball behind a desk. I only managed to find her because of her vibrant red hair.

"Lily, are you alright?" I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. She looked up and in that moment I made a promise to myself to never hurt her as she had been. Her face was stained with tears and her once sparkling emerald eyes puffy and red. "You can tell me" I gently say whilst bending down to be at her eye level.

"James, how'd you find me?" She asks slowly, almost hesitant to talk to me.

"I'm a Marauder!" I reply, which was partially true.

She seems to think this is a reasonable explanation. Without notice her head is on my shoulder and she is crying, I hold her not really sure of what to do. She starts to choke out words between her sobs.

"I-I thought-t that he would change. He-e w-as such an innocent boy when I met him..."

And I know that she is talking about Snape.


Lily's POV

James pulls me up and helps me to the Gryffindor common room. It feels awkward but safe to be with him. I'm still not entirely sure about our friendship but I know that he is more than an enemy.

When we get to the common room I spot Hestia and Alice playing a game of exploding snap. I thank James for his support and give him a quick hug before going over to the girls.

"Lily where have you been" Hestia cries out. Alice bounds over to me and gives me a hug.

"Where's Marley?" I ask, realising that one of us is missing.

"She's probably in a broom closet" replies Alice.

They both start asking me questions and I realise that I'm really tired. I stop the girls questions quickly and head up to the dorms. Let's just say that I didn't go to anymore classes today. I wake up at around dinner time really hungry and head down to the great hall for the second time that day.

When I get there I sit down next to the girls and start eating as much food as I can fit in my mouth. A couple of minutes later the Marauders join us and James comes and sits next to me. I greet him and I can almost see my friends eyeballs popping out of their heads, I may have forgot to tell them that we are friends.

About halfway during dinner Sirius start making food sculptures and enchants them to dance.

"James can you tell your husband that it rude to play with your food" I say pointedly

"Oh Lily dearest, didn't I tell you that if you befriend one of us you befriend all of us" at this all the Marauders laugh.

Haha so funny, this is going to be great, just great

A/N- Hope you liked this chapter. I would love some suggestions for the book. Thank you for all reading. Please follow and review so that I can improve on each chapter.