Part of their new relationship was that they all had to go on dates with one another. It was Grizz's idea, of course. He said it would help them maintain individual relationships with each other and make them stronger as a whole. He had always been all about togetherness, so it was no surprise that he took action to implement these rules.
One Saturday a month, all three of them would go out together and do something fun but the other three Saturdays in between were reserved for couple dates. Last Saturday, Grizz had taken Panda to a fancy new restaurant that served vegetarian cuisine. Going anywhere with Grizz was a good time just by virtue of him being present, laughing and smiling. The Saturday before, Ice had cooked a nice dinner at home, complete with a candle centerpiece on the table. Just when he'd thought it was over, Ice was lifting him onto his back and carrying him, outside and way, way up a nearby peak to stargaze. Ice never said much, but his gestures were truly romantic. It had all left Panda feeling so secure, but this warm, fuzzy feeling would only take one night to crumble: Grizz and Ice's date night.
Panda sat in the kitchen, his eyes wandering up from his phone every so often when he heard Grizz walk by, back and forth to the bathroom doing God knows what to the massive mop of curls on his head. Distracting himself with games was no use, especially when both of the boys poured into the kitchen, gathering up their things. Grizz, who had settled on tying his hair up into a big bun, smiled over at Ice.
"Ready to go?" He asked, ever enthusiastic. Ice, wearing a nice olive green sweater that complimented his deep tan, smiled handsomely, nodding and slipping his arm around his boyfriend. Grizz looked down at Panda as they headed out the door, winking at him. "Ok, PanPan! We're going to the aquarium! We'll be back later. Be good!"
Be good! It wasn't like he got himself into trouble like the other two. Between Grizz getting stuck in trees and Ice instructing impromptu martial arts lessons on a regular basis, they really had no cause for complaint even if Panda decided to cause mischief.
Trying to push the bad mood away before it could really set in and ruin his night, Panda got up from the kitchen table and settled in front of the television, turning on a movie. He knew he was just being grumpy because he felt a little jealous. Even if it was only for one date night out of the month, he couldn't help but wonder what they got up to, what they talked about while he wasn't there. Were they happy being alone together? Did they act all romantic? Grizz was very expressive and extremely affectionate and it was nothing to receive an 'I love you' or a shower of kisses from him. Ice, on the other hand, who wasn't much of a conversationalist, put a lot of effort into the things he did and wore his expressions of love on his face, gazing down so sweetly, deep set eyes full of love. Panda could only imagine how great their date together must be…
He looked over at the clock. Only a half-hour had passed but Panda was growing anxious. Here he was, with only the glow of the television to keep him warm while his boyfriends were off having a great time together. Probably making out. Probably thinking about how great it was to be without Panda. He knew thoughts like these were catastrophic and entirely unreasonable, but that didn't make stopping them any easier. Pulling on his coat, Panda pulled open the front door. He told himself aloud that he was just going for a walk, but deep down he knew that wasn't the truth.
Since the point of date nights were to build their relationships individually, one of the key aspects they'd agreed on was not interrupting each other's time together unless in the case of an absolute emergency.
"Y'know, because it'd be like invading each other's time together." Grizz had said at the time. Still, Panda found himself wandering ever closer to the aquarium until he saw the large, fluorescent sign directing attention toward it. Admission was five dollars and Panda dug the bills out of his change purse before slipping inside.
The aquarium consisted of a large building with many different floor-to-ceiling tanks with shallow tables in the middle of all the other exhibits. Different brightly-coloured fish swam around the clear, blue water and children squealed as they touched the starfish that filled the tables. It didn't take long to spot Ice and Grizz. Grizz was looking up at the fish in awe, his eyes wide and wet-looking, as if he had begun to tear up at the wonder of the beautiful marine life. He was leaning into Ice's side and Ice had an arm wrapped around him, watching intently the slow-swimming fish. Panda was too far away to hear, but he could see that Grizz was talking away and they were both smiling at each other. They did look happy…
It was clear to Panda that he shouldn't have come. He had always suspected it, but seeing how well they got along when he wasn't around wasn't satisfying like he thought it might be. It was just disappointing. Before he could disappear out of the aquarium doors as fast as he'd come in, Panda noticed the chit-chat had stopped, and that both of his boyfriends were looking in his direction, puzzled. They had started to make their way over, bodies still close together.
"Panda!" Grizz called out, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. "Is everything ok?" He noticed the worry on their faces and supposed they had every right to be. A new feeling, guilt, entered the mix and Panda realized he had no other explanation for being there other than one of the only things he wasn't supposed to be doing.
"No, I-" Panda started, looking at them both before averting his gaze, ashamed. "Everything is fine." Grizz and Ice started back at him for a few moments. Though Grizz was the first one to make the connection out loud, Ice looked at Panda with a mixture of confusion and pity.
"PanPan, were you following us? I thought I told you to be good!" He was joking, but Panda could sense an air of legitimate disappointment in his voice.
"Ice Bear and Grizzly were on a date," Usually Ice's quirky way of speaking was cute and made Panda smile. Now, however, he just felt silly.
"I know that," He retorted, seeming a little annoyed as he took the defensive. "I was just… I just-" He wanted to say 'feel left out' or 'feel worried you love each other more than you love me' or even 'feel insecure about how awesome you guys are and that you'll grow tired of me" but nothing came out. His face flushed a deep red as he turned, eyes stinging at the corners with tears, and hurried away from Ice and Grizz and out of the aquarium. The two remaining looked at one another, each sighing.
"When we get home," Grizz said quietly. "We need to talk about this."
