There were many things that Ciradwen loved, but what she loved most of all was the coming season of the festivals and banquets that the elves held to honor many things, most of all their home in the golden wood.
Decorations were made, some of elaborate floral arrangements and others of thin cut paper and ribbons weaved that were placed in and around the talans, stairwells and rails of which the elves residing did frequent by. Lanterns leading along paths were hung carefully and accompanied by such pretty things and when they shone and sparkled in the night so that Ciradwen truly felt peace at its beauty, never tiring of all the lovely things that were made. All the elves she was closest to had decorations placed outside their doors, either by themselves or by the ones they loved and it fell in line of tradition long ago that having an arrangement, no matter how grand or meager, brought tranquil prosperity and good and kind thoughts to whomever had them, as well as to their kin.
So, it was peculiar to Ciradwen when on her many strolls through her home that passing one elf's house she saw that there was none, not even the tiniest bit of string or petal when their brothers who resided below had arrangements of their own. Ciradwen stopped, staring at the railing by their door and she thought long, glad that it was late in the evening and not many would notice her standing as an odd one might, doing nothing of importance save for the possible flimsy excuse of deep contemplation on things certainly not at all embarrassing.
But this was embarrassing, especially to Ciradwen who felt unaccustomed to such strange feelings that she herself could not decipher.
A light flickered in the window and she started, not at all wishing to be seen and jolting to continue her walk, but not without looking back and getting altogether funny ideas in her head.
The elf in question was one she knew and knew quite well enough, as well as an inferior would know a superior in rank, quite on speaking terms yet ever distant and never in any range of familiarity or closeness save for the occasional instruction or order which often varied between mild and harsh. No, he was not a friend, but she admired him greatly and even envied him and the respect he had commanded.
Ciradwen made up her mind when she reached the door of her own talan and slipped in on light steps, ones that still did not go unnoticed by her elder brother, Orlefen, putting her thoughts aside when she found him sitting by a window.
"Did you enjoy your stroll?" he asked, not looking up from the book he'd buried his nose in.
"Very much," said Ciradwen lightly enough, removing her shoes and working to undo the braids of her hair, walking to sit beside her brother and peeking at what had entranced him so. She tilted her head, attempting to read the partially obscured title.
"How goes your reading, brother?" Ciradwen asked, genuinely curious.
"Quite well," was all he said, still not bothering to look up.
"Do you recommend it?"
"I do."
"Can I borrow it when you are finished?"
"No."
"You've never been keen to share, have you?" she said smirking and leaning back in her seat, the tips of her fingers playing a jarring beat on the armrest.
"Of course not," replied Orlefen, a smirk of his own appearing as he finally shot her a brief glance. The two did resemble each other, Ciradwen thought, but it was Orlefen that reminded her most of their parents, which at times brought sadness and sometimes comfort for they had sailed away long ago. Their long hair was of a darker blonde, hanging below their shoulders as was the style and they both held similar brown eyes, almost golden, though they expressed them differently.
Orlefen's gaze often held a jaded seriousness, whereas Ciradwen's was lively and curious.
In temperament he was often grim, distrusting, and far too occupied with notions of propriety and respectability that it left him with an often prejudiced outlook. Ciradwen, however, strove to not find any fault at others even when at times it had cost her. She was gentle and caring by default, but not without fierceness, intensity, or the ability to anger. She could control herself and not get carried by such strong feelings, just as her brother could, but she could not look away from the circumstances of others as he often did and it was her empathy that he said was her most noble yet greatest failing. "You will someday be very disappointed in others," he'd warned her once.
"Of course I will, and I often have already, but why should I change what I have always felt… that others deserve pity before contempt?" Ciradwen had told him then.
He'd shaken his head and walked away as was his nature whenever they disagreed on anything. It aggravated Ciradwen, but she would ignore him and busy her mind with other things, or exert her energy on training to quell any feelings of exasperation that he seemed to rise in her.
"Poor Haldir had not a single decoration outside his door, did you notice?" said Ciradwen suddenly to which Orlefen tried to ignore. "Is it not strange?"
"It really does not matter much, does it?" Orlefen asked her, annoyed. "The whole thing is frivolous."
"Frivolous? You used to like it!"
"I didn't say it was unlikable."
"No, I suppose you did not," she huffed. "I thought it strange that his brothers were not without, however."
"If you are so concerned why don't you make one for him yourself? Likely he doesn't care and has no interest in such silly things and when you make one for him he will tell you so himself and you might learn your lesson," said Orlefen crossly.
"What a good idea, brother," said Ciradwen brightly, rising in her seat. "I will do just that, but I will not let him know it is from me. That way he cannot scold or mock me for it," she said with some satisfaction. "And I think he would feel actually touched by it, after all I have spent far more time with him than you ever have."
Orlefen said nothing, turning a page of his book loudly as he let out a deep exhale from his sharp nose.
"Will you attend tomorrow's banquet?" Ciradwen asked, changing the subject as she lingered in the hallway after having gotten up.
"Of course," he said.
"Good. You shall be my date," she said cheerily before disappearing, but not bothering to catch his weary look.
The night came and with it Ciradwen's excitement grew, practically glowing beside Orelfen who appeared meek and regal in his pale blue tunic, overcoat, and matching leggings. Ciradwen had worn a simple gown of plum and grey colors, having done her hair partially up and the rest falling to hang over one shoulder but all her joy would lie with watching others, meeting and greeting, as merrymaking commenced.
"Orelfen! It is great to see you," came a voice from behind them and they turned to see the face of Rumil bounding up the steps to meet them.
"Same to you, friend. How do you fare? My sister tells me nothing of what the wardens keep up with," said Orelfen as he clasped Rumil's arm and smiling.
"Oh, it is good to know that Ciradwen keeps our secrets," he said jokingly, nodding to Ciradwen who merely shrugged lightheartedly. "But I am well, thank you for asking, Orelfen. I long for our old conversations! It has been ages and I should feel that my intellect suffers for it."
"I could not imagine such a thing," said Orelfen to which Rumil laughed quietly and then pulling Orelfen into a deep dialogue, ignoring Ciradwen who didn't mind and looked around as the two conversed while keeping a careful eye for the elf who had seemed to occupy her thoughts of late, ignoring the small voice that whispered to her cruelly; saying she was too old for such games or fancies.
When at last she saw him she quickly and carefully schooled her expression into something meeker and more neutral just as he approached with a far sterner countenance than she would have expected, at least on a day of celebration. He wasn't all sweetness, and could most definitely be sour, but she had never found him to appear so cross at such gatherings before and it seemed to spark her curiosity while also dimming her happiness, effectively reminding her of the duties they held. She nodded to him and he returned the gesture, though not stopping, and walking past them and leaving Ciradwen to consider what must have been on his mind. She usually did not let the moods of others change her own, but something in the way he'd carried himself had in fact altered her mood and not for the better.
"Orelfen," said Ciradwen to her brother, who had been nodding to something Rumil spoke of, "I'm going to take a turn about the hall."
Orelfen nodded distractedly at this and motioned his hand at her as if to shoo her away.
She felt a loneliness sneak up on her as she stood among the large gathering, watching the others mingle and converse. The Lord and Lady themselves had yet to arrive and so it was not until then that the festivity would truly begin. She searched the crowd, seeing many familiar faces but of none she would have liked to speak to until she spotted Lethelrin a few feet away examining the contents of a fountain quite carefully. It amused Ciradwen and she went to meet him before her path was blocked and she was met with the face of Terenes, a scribe and who was somewhat of an acquaintance to her.
"Ciradwen, forgive me for intruding, but I must speak with you on an urgent matter," Terenes said, a familiar look of gravity in his features that reminded her of Haldir, but not quite as handsome.
"Of course, shall we go somewhere to speak?"
"Yes, yes, privacy is best. Please, follow me," he said walking and Ciradwen followed. Terenes led her away from the others, leaving the atrium and walking some ways away before he at last stopped in a small garden alcove suspended high up with a narrow bridge leading to it and seating himself uneasily at a bench, motioning her to join him. In any other circumstance it would seem far too intimate, like meeting a lover, but Ciradwen knew he had no such things on his mind.
"I must depart from Lorien," he said gravely. "There is an urgent, urgent affair of an academic nature, though still very important, mind you, that I and a few others must tend to. However, to do so we must travel to Rivendell. I have already spoken to Haldir and he deems the idea unwise," said Terenes, his fists clenched over his knees. His blue eyes appeared lost, something cast away in his heart as he mulled over something that troubled him. His nostrils flared in agitation and she did not miss the way he pursed his lips, fidgeting in his seat as if his whole body was ready to jump and flee.
"Well, if Haldir advises…" began Ciradwen gently.
"No! You do not understand, nor does he understand what is at stake. Centuries of work could be at jeopardy, valuable words lost to time and there are things I must retrieve, pieces to combine with others. It is all very, very important and so that is why I speak to you now," he said pressingly, looking at her with a penetrating gaze. "You must convince Haldir that this is not folly, that I and my companions need an escort and if he does not grant it himself then… then I shall throw myself upon the feet of the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn, begging them to see reason in this venture."
"They are wise and I am sure if what you say is true they would see reason to aid you, however if Haldir warns against such a journey…"
"He says the reports of orc sightings have risen, the bands are raiding the villages of men and daring to encroach closer. They cannot touch us, of course, but they wish to taunt us and to leave is risky, but… you must see. You must see why and how what I know drives me so passionately. I would risk anything for this, do you understand?"
"I do, but what would you have me do?"
"Convince Haldir, speak to him as his fellow warden, as one who might know the danger, and most of I all I ask that you volunteer to protect us."
"You ask a lot, Terenes. I am flattered that you hold such faith in me or that you believe I would have any sway in his decisions, but that is not his way, he follows his own guidance and that of the Lord and Lady. Any word from me and he'd likely see fit to send me away to polish all the belt buckles of every single guard in the city."
"I do not believe it, Ciradwen. You have some favor, as do your own companions. Please, I beg you try, to let him hear from another and to speak for my cause…"
"But I do not know your cause, Terenes, and there is truth to what Haldir says, it would likely not be wise to leave at this time," tried Ciradwen, hoping he would see her reasoning.
"I do not plan to go unarmed, nor do I plan to endanger myself. Must I wait centuries until he changes his mind? He is far too stubborn and sure of his own mind. It truly is a nuisance."
"If he was not sure of himself or wise in such matters then I do not believe he would hold the rank he does," said Ciradwen honestly. To this and to Ciradwen's shock Terenes leapt from his seat beside her and knelt down before her, clasping her hands in his own boldly and looking deeply into her own eyes with such an imploring emotion that she leaned back away from him, though not unkind enough to break his hold on her yet, quite curious as to what he meant by his actions.
"I will owe you everything if you do this for me," he said, desperation lacing every word in such a way that was normally most unfitting for an elf. There was no dignity in his wild and abrupt gestures but there was a sincerity that Ciradwen could not reject or fault him for.
"I… I will do my best, but only on the promise that you would not throw yourself and the Lord and Lady's feet, or that you not pester Haldir again if he refuses me…"
"You are kind and you are good," said Terenes with such earnesty that he squeezed her hands almost painfully. "With your word and the words of his brothers, I know that he would see reason."
"Oh, Terenes, do not go to his brothers… that would only serve to anger Haldir and I should think he would never speak to you again if you did such a thing. He is not harsh, but he does not like such games and you would not like the result of his disapproval."
"My dear Ciradwen, we live long, such dislikes eventually become great friendships over time, but I will heed your advice after you have given me your word that you would try on my behalf. I shall cherish what you have done for me," he said and Ciradwen felt alarmed when she saw his eyes seemingly turn misty in the somber light of lanterns and her stomach flipped further when she spotted the passing figure of Orophin who regarded them curiously before continuing on his way alone from another walkway below. "Terenes, please rise, some may get the wrong idea," said Ciradwen uneasily, though a bit unwittingly amused herself at the situation.
"Oh, you are right, forgive me," said Terenes releasing her and standing quickly before patting down his overcoat with some embarrassment of his own at last.
"Shall we speak tomorrow on the matter? I will find him and speak with him tonight and see if he would be keen to listen to me, but I make no promises on his approval, yes?"
"Of course, thank you again. I'll– I will leave you now," he said lightly before turning and walking towards the bridge that led to where the revelry still went on. Ciradwen sighed and wondered at how she'd handle such a task.
"You will never believe what I just saw, brother," said Orophin coming up behind Haldir who was leaning against a railing and looking on at the empty courtyard below where moonlight fell. Haldir turned to look at his brother expectantly, encouraging him to reveal whatever it was he wished to share. His mood had improved somewhat since his rather aggravating meeting with Terenes and since then he had felt it only best to distance himself from others lest his sour mood get the better of him.
"I saw Terenes," said Orophin with a bit of sensationalism in his words, but stopping when Haldir openly groaned and turned away.
"Terenes has already occupied enough of my time this evening," Haldir said shortly.
"Well, he was not alone."
"Oh? I'm not surprised he would find someone else to pester."
"He was kneeling at the feet of Ciradwen, holding her hand in his own and it looked to be quite an amorous moment, though I dare say she looked as if she wanted to leap off the edge of the alcove rather than continue to receive his affections."
"Perhaps I had it easy in dealing with him then," Haldir said with a sigh.
"What is it he wants?"
"He wishes to take a journey and endanger the lives of himself, other scribes and my wardens for some mission he cannot even verbalize clearly to me. I will not allow it."
"Oh, here she comes now… I can only guess what she wishes to speak to you about, farewell, brother!" said Orophin who nodded towards his brother and then to Ciradwen in parting as she appeared.
Haldir turned to meet her and he almost wanted to find humor in the absurd expression she wore that he was sure he had on himself earlier after dealing with Terenes as well. Now he just hoped that she hadn't been duped into speaking in Terenes' favor to him…
"Hello, Haldir," said Ciradwen with some strain in her voice. "I hope I did not interrupt…"
"No, in fact you were the topic of conversation," he said, "partially, at least."
"Oh, you must have guessed then…"
"Did he at least reveal the true purpose of his mission?"
"No, he did not, but he very much pressed its importance and rather emphatically so."
"Orophin mentioned," said Haldir not looking at her, his gaze now fixed on the starlit sky above.
"Despite his… manner, he does seem very convinced of what he must do and I must admit I did wonder what it must be that compels him to such passion."
"And I too feel quite strongly that he needs to value his life far more than he is doing right now. To go out at such an uncertain time is folly and would undoubtedly be a great risk, not just to himself but whomever is fool enough to join him."
"He told me that he would implore the Lord and Lady if you did not give your support," said Ciradwen seriously.
"If he would dare to waste their time on this and make a fool of himself then I would not at all hesitate to speak against him, but I would sincerely hope he would not bother. He is older than most of us yet he behaves as a youngling might."
"Perhaps there is some wisdom in his actions that we do not yet see?"
"I highly doubt it."
A swift breeze blew in just then, causing Ciradwen's skirts to waver and her hair to move against her pale neck. Haldir's fists clenched on the railing, his own hair blowing in the night before settling again on his broad shoulders. Ciradwen studied his profile, his prominent nose and jawline standing out.
"I do wonder what this all means," began Ciradwen, looking at the ground, crushed petals at her feet that had fallen from a nearby tree that bloomed. "That none of us can leave when we wish it, or so it seems."
"Ciradwen, he is free to leave. He will just not waste my time doing so."
"Perhaps that will give him some hope then and perhaps he can be convinced to wait," she said.
"You can do as you like, just give him no false promises on my part or on your own."
"Very well. He may yet calm down, I will speak with him tomorrow."
"I have removed myself from his predicament as far I am concerned and you should follow suit, Ciradwen," said Haldir now looking at her.
"I shall speak with you later then," she said with a small smile before bowing and leaving him. He watched her go, deciding he would stay where he was a little longer as she disappeared behind a corner, the fabric of her dress flowing behind her.
Ciradwen did not have to wait long for Terenes to appear, but he was not alone as he was followed by two others, Soldarith and Vildorne who looked as resolved as Terenes did, and it worried her, realizing that it would not be so easy to dissuade them.
"Ciradwen," Terenes greeted, nodding to her and stopping as Soldarith and Vildorne stood behind him. Ciradwen nodded, taking a seat at a bench. They'd decided to meet in one of the secluded gardens where no one would disturb them.
"I take it that you were able to speak with Haldir? I tried to find him today, but it seems he was occupied in the training grounds…"
"I did," said Ciradwen, still unsure of where to begin but she tried anyway, hoping that Terenes would take it well. "Haldir will not give his approval," she said at last, Terenes scowling and Soldarith and Vildorne looking to each other nervously.
"But," Ciradwen added almost hastily, "he can not stop you from leaving. You are free to do as you like, just not with the aid you seek. You would be on your own, at your own peril."
"He believes he knows what is best, I'm sure, but… he has grown too proud in his position…"
"Terenes… I appreciate what you must be trying to accomplish but with no explanation and giving us nothing to gauge its importance, how can we risk ourselves?"
"You have said what you needed to, Ciradwen. Thank you for your effort," Terenes cut in haughtily. "Come, we must go see if the Lady will meet with us."
"Please, at least wait some time until there are new reports. Haldir is not impossible, but when he is right about something then he will not waver. He cares only for the safety of our own, surely you can see that?"
"I see it very well, very well indeed."
"Thank you, Ciradwen," said Soldarith genuinely.
"Yes, thank you," added Vildorne who looked a bit pained from the same disappointment.
"We will go without his help if need be," said Terenes curtly.
"When will you go see the Lady? Now? Let me at least go with you," Ciradwen said, afraid at what lengths Terenes would go to press his quest, unconvinced that Soldarith and Vildorne would contain him if the need arose and she would feel entirely guilty if he acted foolishly enough to have himself thrown in the now vacant dungeons which had not seen a prisoner in over a millennia.
"Do as you like," said Terenes who was already walking away with Soldarith and Vildorn following his swift pace while Ciradwen ran to catch up with him down the garden path.
It wasn't just paranoia that many eyes were watching their small group ascend the home of the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. Ciradwen, rather uncharacteristically so, felt her ears turn red and her neck grow hot, especially at the way Terenes seemed to demand entrance at the front doors after steadily walking up many stairs and platforms with a party of perturbed elves behind them. There were guards stationed out front and Ciradwen was surprised to see Haldir appear from the doors and face them with a stern expression and furrowed brow which shifted from Terenes to Ciradwen who would have shifted uneasily had she not more control of herself.
"I take it you are here to present your case," said Haldir dryly to Terenes who appeared unaffected. "Despite what I advised."
"Yes, that is correct."
Haldir stood aside, surprising all of them, most of all Terenes who gave Haldir a look of uncertainty as he passed him with the others in tow. Ciradwen gave Haldir a look that she hoped conveyed what her presence with them meant but he gave her nothing in his expression.
All five elves bowed as the Lord and Lady came into view. It was Terenes who spoke first. Soldarith and Vildorne kept their eyes downcast while Haldir and Ciradwen looked on expentantly.
"My Lord, my Lady," he began with an air of humility.
"We know what it is you want, as you well know, but I'd like to hear it in your own words," Lady Galadriel said serenely, though not without an edge that demanded some fealty.
"Very well, my Lady. I'd also wish to beg your forgiveness before I begin, for my impertinent arrival, but I would never have come to waste your time," said Terenes earnestly. "It is regarding a royal lineage, one of which we thought lost and forgotten. It regards the Marilian Islands and who the rightful heir is…"
Ciradwen's eyebrows rose at this while Haldir's turned down in scrutiny, all listening intently as Terenes continued.
"It is said that the plague upon them would be lifted once their true King returned to them and I believe that I know who it is, but I cannot know unless I am given safe passage to Rivendell where I can fully examine their records to know for certain."
"And you believe that this must be done now," stated Galadriel.
"Yes, my Lady."
"The Marilian Islands have long lain stagnant, their fates forgotten for many centuries, what now would change this? Many have come to claim it and often at their own demise for no one has been able to even seek entrance to their ocean borders," said Celeborn plainly.
"You are right, my Lord, but in this I am sure and I have never been more sure in anything if there is any truth in what I found," said Terenes.
"And what is your aim, Terenes?" Celeborn asked him.
"To free our kin who remain trapped, even my own kin may yet still be living there and in what misery... I do not know."
"Your quest is noble," said the Lady, "but I fear that we side with our Marchwarden on what we can spare, for anyone involved may open the doors to many things causing great grief and strife."
"But, my Lady…"
"You are free to leave with your companions and anyone who wishes to join you of their own free will may do so," Galadriel said, her eyes falling on Ciradwen before passing to Haldir briefly and back to Terenes who appeared to have risen from his previously wilted state.
"Can no one help us as we are likely to face great danger?" asked Vildorne suddenly, features strained in anxiety most unfitting for an elf.
"Vildorne," warned Terenes from over his shoulder.
"As I said, you are free to go or stay, as is anyone else."
"Thank you my Lady, my Lord. Your wisdom will always excel my own and I thank you greatly for your words of caution," Terenes said finally.
"Be warned, Terenes Othredian, that the cost of the truth may be greater than you imagined," warned Galadriel cryptically. "Yes, my Lady," said Terenes unmoved and it was then that Ciradwen truly feared for their them. They would not survive, that much was certain, unless someone took the helm to guard their safety, but who would be foolish enough to take on such a task? No one. And that is what worried her.
Terenes and the others dismissed themselves as did Ciradwen, though Haldir remained and she turned to see him speaking with the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel himself, though she could hear no words spoken from their lips.
Ciradwen returned to her talan to find Orelfen familiarly seated once again in his frequent spot of leisure, just as he had many, many times before and taking on the role of a stern figure who held many questions just as their adar once did.
"Something is happening, isn't it?" he said between two fingers, palm resting under his chin casually.
"Yes, something is always happening," said Ciradwen teasingly.
"Do I want to know?"
"It is best that you do not, for it would surely fray whatever nerves you have left and give your head an ache most severe."
"I see. Then I suppose it is best that I do not know."
"Have you been speaking to Rumil and Orophin per chance?"
"Yes. They do not have such a regard for my nerves, however."
"Ah, well, worry not. None of it has anything to do with us," she assured, though she could not shake the strange feeling of guilt that she was lying to Orelfen when she was sure she was not.
A soft knock was heard at the door, surprising Ciradwen who wondered if it was Haldir returning with some further word but was instead surprised to see Soldarith, alone.
"Soldarith, please come in," said Ciradwen, moving aside to allow her entrance into their talan. Orelfen acted as if a hot pan had been placed beneath him and rose at her appearance swiftly to bow and greet her cordially.
"Calm yourself, Orelfen," chided Ciradwen with a note of amusement.
"Forgive me for appearing without notice," Soldarith said, deep golden plaits of hair adorning her head like a crown. Her eyes shone a bright green in the fading light and Orelfen stood transfixed before her, unable to speak, though he did mutely gesture for her to be seated before quickly disappearing and returning with a pitcher of water and cups.
"I want to apologize for Terenes," said Soldarith, her eyes on the cup that Orelfen had just handed her. Orelfen sat across from her and looked to Ciradwen curiously.
"He has spent so long in deep study that I think he often forgets how his manner can… upset others," she said, stopping to take a sip.
"It is alright, Soldarith, but I do worry for him now after hearing what he had to say, as well as for you and Vildorne," Ciradwen said, watching Orelfen's movements shifting in the corner of her eye. None had ever spoken of it, but Ciradwen was sure that Orelfen's regard for Soldarith encroached on feelings far more tender than what he'd ever admit to.
"That is why I come to you now, to ask you for your assistance," said Soldairth now looking at her with the same desperation in her eyes that Terenes held the night before, making Ciradwen want to cringe.
"All three of us know how to wield a sword, to hold a bow, but we are mere children in comparison to your skill and that of the other wardens. Our journey will be wrought with peril, as it has been already mentioned many times. You know the risks as well as Haldir, but he has given up on us, as he has every right to… but… I– we… we have no one else to turn to now. You are our only hope for any chance at a safe passage to Rivendell if what they say lies outside our borders is true, we may very perish on the first day."
Ciradwen said nothing, ignoring the way Orelfen seemed to be boring a hole through her shoulder with his intense gaze, as well as the miserable look that Soldarith gave her, waiting.
"Soldarith, you ask much of me…"
"I know it, I truly do, but this means Terenes' heart which would surely break if he did nothing with this knowledge and… my own heart would break at that, I could not bear to see it or worse, that our own kind, our own neighbors should die alone when that could easily be helped."
Silence reigned in their small sitting area and Ciradwen strained her ears to hear the sound of trickling water from a fountain outside, anything to quell the surge of uncomfortable feelings Soldarith trudged up by asking what she did.
Ciradwen had not left the borders of Lothlorien in many years and it had once been true that she wished to explore the world outside, to meet with others of her own kind and even to experience an adventure of her own. Now that a true quest had at last appeared Ciradwen found that she did not know what it was she wanted to do. But what she wanted, or did not want, hadn't anything to do in what was right, and perhaps that is what the Lady meant to say to her when she looked at her so strangely, as if she had hinted to something of Ciradwen's own involvement, but how? Surely she was trained and well enough to handle herself, she was no stranger to battle, or orc slaying, or even the slaying of foul men who sometimes roved in bands to sack villages, as well as rob and murder lone travelers. Perhaps she had grown complacent in her position as a warden, stationed at the fences and doing little but stare out into the night with only the whistling of birds for company and the occasional barb of conversation from her partners Lethelrin, Ronair and Melveroë.
"I would owe you a great debt," said Soldarith breaking the silence. "Anything you should ask of me, any boon, I would give it."
Ciradwen stared at her, the brief thought of 'perhaps your hand in marriage for my poor weak brother' but discarded that thought away for it was ridiculous and it almost made her want to laugh to herself, but she did not, for the matter at hand was still serious and unresolved. Ciradwen turned to her brother then who looked just as troubled and lost as she was sure she did.
"Orelfen, what say you?"
"I cannot speak for you, Ciradwen, you must decide for yourself what is best," said Orelfen with some reluctance and when he stopped speaking he took to examining his hands as if he were merely a spectator in the conversation, which she supposed he in fact was. This was up to her and her alone.
"When would you leave? Have you discussed this with Terenes and Vildorne yet?"
"In three days."
"I see, that is very soon."
"If our hope lies anywhere else I would not waste your time…"
Ciradwen sighed. She would pretend that she was always steadfast or true in courage, she was capable of it yes, but many times she had let her fear get the better of her, though mostly in benign personal matters, but this was not some simple request. Others were seeking her help, true help and either she showed herself to be a wise coward or a foolish savior. "You will have my support," conceded Ciradwen. "And whatever skill I possess on this quest. Doomed to failure or otherwise."
"Thank you, Ciradwen! Thank you! You are the best of them all, even braver than most, I owe you a great debt," gushed Soldarith with such happiness that Ciradwen wondered how devastated she would have been if she had said no to her.
"I will go speak with Terenes now, he will be so pleased," Sodarith said, rising to leave but not before placing a hand to her chest, to which Ciradwen returned the gesture with a timid smile. When the door shut behind her Ciradwen stood, Orelfen coming behind her and she swore she could feel the heavy weight he now held after she'd announced her decision.
"So, you will now go on a great quest," Orelfen stated.
"It is just to Rivendell, perhaps it will be very uneventful and all this alarm was for nought."
"Perhaps," he said.
The next day brought with it the spreading of word and it was word of Terenes' quest, now Ciradwen's too, that quickly became the main topic of discussion which led to much surprise, complete indifference and dry disapproval. Though it was Haldir's reaction that Ciradwen had not at all expected when she heard a far harsher series of knocks on their door than she had perhaps ever heard as no one had ever been so anxious as Haldir appeared when she opened the door. Ciradwen stared at him, blinking.
"Haldir," greeted Ciradwen mildly when he said nothing, merely staring at her with such aggravation that she almost feared him was she not certain she could match him in sparring if he'd pushed her enough.
"Ciradwen," he said, her name rolling of his tongue with a deliberate accent.
"Please come in," she said rather weakly, unsure of what would transpire once behind closed doors. To her surprise and great relief he did not proceed to shout at her or throw things about, not that he had ever exhibited such behavior, but after experiencing Terenes' and Soldarith's desperate moods she felt rather uncertain of any elf.
"Lady Galadriel may have said that we are all free to leave as we please, but that does not excuse one of their duties," began Haldir, arms held behind him as he walked circles around their rug. "You have duties, Ciradwen, despite being currently on leave."
"I understand that, Haldir, forgive me," said Ciradwen, for what else was she to say?
"Your going is bad enough but now I shall lose three more to this quest of fancy," Haldir said sternly. Ciradwen had been watching the way his thumbs shifted back and forth in his clasped hands behind his back but stopped, looking to him with alarm when she registered what he said.
"I'm sorry, but three others? I do not understand," said Ciradwen, not liking where this was going, though she would be lying if she did not feel some relief at this news for it meant that she would not be alone.
"Your fellow wardens, of course, your companions… your friends. They wish to join you. It seems their own duties here bore them and they wish to join in on what is becoming a rather popular venture despite the fact that it may lose you your lives."
"I could not say no, Haldir, it may be because I am weak and their desperation moved me. But please know that I asked no one to partake in this affair," said Ciradwen reasonably. "I could not leave them to fend for themselves."
Haldir's nostrils flared, his jaw tightening and working on something reproachful he likely wanted to add but he said nothing, instead continuing to merely walk more holes into her floor.
Orelfen came into the sitting area likely from his room, but stopped when he caught sight of Haldir and his expression, and promptly turned on his heel and returned back to his room as if he had never been there.
Ciradwen would have laughed were she not sure it would really rise Haldir's ire.
"I likely would have relented myself eventually," Haldir finally said. "But that does not change my feelings on the matter, that they are foolish and have likely doomed themselves and my own for their whims and you know I would not say such things lightly if I had not the reports to back it. Bodies have turned up in the river, of men and other creatures, and their end was familiar enough to warrant alarm."
Ciradwen felt the creeping tendrils of trepidation at his dire words.
"Then we shall have to be on extra guard," said Ciradwen, sighing lightly. She could feel Haldir's presence far too much in the moment, as if there were some working of emotions going on without her knowing and it served only to tire her, making her to wish for retreat from his heavy, burdensome stare he trained on her.
He could at times be too intense and it both intrigued and frightened her, things she would never admit to anyone. Whatever feelings she had for him were ones she kept locked tight away in a little box, something to occasionally open for a peek, only to promptly close and stash away without another thought.
"I will be there to see you off when the time comes then," said Haldir with finality and walked out the door without another word.
It was the night before they would embark and Ciradwen stalked among the trees and homes of the elves like a ghost, light steps leading her to one talan in particular. She was not empty handed.
Ciradwen climbed up the back, avoiding the front stairwell and finding herself in the level which held his talan. It was dark and Ciradwen peered through a window, satisfied when she picked up no movement within. She held her body against the walls around until, almost leaping from the shadows like a prowling cat, found the barren beam.
Quickly unwrapping a loose cloth she pulled out what it held; a small blue and white wreath with long, thin strands of flowing silver ribbon some of which she used to attach to the solitary beam, her eyes still sharp on any movement from the paths below or any of the neighboring talans. When it was secure she came back around from whence she came and stealthily slid down, landing softly by some large roots sticking out from the ground before making a quick skip to a nearby vacant path obscured by low lying bushes, taking her back to her own home.
She did not see the movement in one of the lower talans, eyes following her quickly retreating form with some curiosity and amusement.
"It is not too late to bow out, my friends," said Ciradwen quietly with a note of humor beneath the seriousness.
"We wouldn't think of it," said Lethelrin matching her tone, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he regarded her.
"Here they come at last," Melveroë stated, eyes turned to the path where three other elves appeared. As if on cue Haldir too appeared from another direction and Ciradwen regarded him from the side of her eye, schooling her expression to a cool neutrality. Roanir seemed to shift beside her as he turned to look at the approaching Marchwarden.
"He does not appear to be very cross, I think," said Roanir mildly in her ear. The narrowing of Haldir's eyes made them realize that he had heard.
"We will escort you to the border," began Haldir, "and no further. I trust that you all have begun the day at your best and are fully prepared."
"We are, thank you," said Lethelrin.
"Thank me not, for if it was up to me…" Haldir trailed off, fixing them with a dark stare. "Instead I will part with you all my best for your safe return. May you achieve your quest, Terenes."
"Thank you, Marchwarden," Terenes said genuinely.
With that they set off, following him on foot, watching as many elves appeared to see them off, a faint song of farewell on their lips that carried in the wind out into the forest where they went steadily.
On the way, none spoke, despite all of them having many words on their minds and in their hearts even after several hours, that is until the watching wardens and Haldir himself halted, all sending gestures of farewell which the traveling party returned, taking a final image of the golden wood with them.
None looked back again.
Haldir had not bothered to rest the night before, instead having spent his time at the training grounds and going over coming reports from his wardens who had nothing new since a week ago. He was angry, yes, but he thought he'd handled those feelings well enough, especially with Ciradwen, whom he could not fathom such calmness from as she prepared for something so dangerous. Rarely did anyone leave, least of all during a time when such news was troubling, but Haldir realized, especially after seeking council from Lady Galadriel, that there was nothing he could have done to change the course of Terenes' aims.
He had not missed the look of sadness, however, that seemed to cross her eyes so briefly and yet so solemnly when the discussion had come to an end. He tried not to dwell on it too much for it was now out of his hands and he at least had some faith in Ciradwen, Lethelrin and Melveroë who were some of his most well trained wardens.
Still, the unsettling emotions remained.
It was well after he'd escorted their party when he returned back home to Caras Galadhon, his normally light gait transformed into heavy steps that matched his mood. The city was still bedecked in wreaths, hanging ladders of flowers and leaves hung from branches side by side with soon-to-be glowing lanterns, and while normally he felt indifferent to such decoration, it was now a reminder how much he cherished his home and what happiness prevailed there during that time of the year despite what went on outside of it.
When he finally reached his talan he stopped, the sight of something small and light waving in the breeze just outside his door.
It was a wreath, he realized, and one most certainly not placed by himself, for he had never bothered, nor had he been gifted one in a long, long time. He stared at it, ascending the stairs past his brother's doors until he stopped right before it, careful fingers reaching to touch the smooth silver ribbon. Someone had taken the time to assemble such a thing, it seemed, and gifted it to him.
His eyebrow rose, for there was some meaning to the small gesture and he could not help the quirk of his lips in a knowing smile the longer it dawned on him.
