HICCUP (V.O)
This is Berk. It's twelve days North of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It's located solidly on the meridian of misery.
A lot of the Vikings thought that was a correct description of their home, but Stoic thought, 'Is it really that bad?'
HICCUP (V.O)
My village. In a word, sturdy. It's been here for 7 generations, but every single building is new.
"Yeah and you want to know why because of those dumb, mindless dragons." said Snotlout. Fire shot his head.
HICCUP (V.O)
We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitos. We have…
"Well duh! Dragons" shouted Tuffnut. Dark energy surrounded him and his underpants were ripped right off of his body.
Sheep eating grass on a hill. Suddenly, one is snatched. The other sheep moves to its now vacated location and starts chewing.
A few Vikings chucked at this. They all knew the sheep are greedy.
"Greedy ass sheep." said DinoBoy13
CUT TO: INSIDE OF HICCUP/STOICKS HOUSE –CONTINUING
A door is pulled open. Monstrous Nightmare shoots fire as the door is closed, revealing Hiccup.
At this, Toothless brightened up at the sight of Hiccup. But he didn't go near him because DinoBoy13 strictly explained to him that it wasn't the right time.
HICCUP …dragons.
EXT. HOUSE He opens the door again and jumps out. He dodges Vikings 4 times his size as dragons continue to reave havoc.
"It does have some uses to be small" Hiccup noted.
"It really does." said Brain. "I mean I'm twelve and most people think I'm eight."
HICCUP (V.O)
Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We have stubbornness issues.
"Well your stubbornness is above all others. Ninja, knights even football players give up easier than you do." said Dinoboy13 "I mean you let yourselves suffer constant dragon attacks. How can you even support life on that island and you let your kids live there. Who are the real monsters hear?!"
"The dragons. Duh!" said Ruffnut
"I only like three of you." said Brain he flew to the next chair. "The smart ones. Astrid, Hiccup and Fishlegs even though when you two geek out at any chance you get me and DB do that too."
Shouting continues as hiccup weaves through the tangle.
HICCUP (V.O)
My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that.
"A few pondered his name while some huffed about their "Viking demeanor" said Brain. DinoBoy13 thought this was a good time to crack a joke. He transformed into a panda bear and jumped into SM's arms.
"Pander bears what do they have to do with Viking stupidity!?"
In an explosion, a Viking gets thrown into the air and, unfortunately, lands on Hiccup.
VIKING (FIERCE) Aggggghhhhh.! (Happily) Mornin'!
Present shown Viking blushed and muttered, "I was in the middle of a sea shanty." A few who heard quietly laughed.
Hiccup continues to run past the warriors.
HOARK What are you doin' out?
"Fuck you." said DinoBoy13 "All of you."
BURNTHAIR Get inside!
PHLEGMA Get back inside!
Enter STOICK, biggest Viking and by far the biggest beard. He grabs Hiccup and jerks him up by his clothes.
STOICK Hiccup?
"This kid has to have the strongest neck in the world." said SM
"I mean compared to how strong you are and how fast he was going his head should have come right off." said BrainMan14.
"Why didn't it?" asked Snotlout "That means I would be chief next."
"Can I? Please?" asked Ruby.
"Yes." DinoBoy13 replied. Ruby conjured air from the sky and smashed Snotlout on the ceiling.
STOICK (yelling to crowd) What is he doin' out again?
STOICK (to hiccup) What are you doing out? Get inside!
HICCUP (V.O) (In admiration) That's Stoick the Vast. Chief of the tribe. They say that when he was a baby, he popped a dragon's head clean off it's shoulders. Do I believe it? Yes I do.
Hiccup pretended to throw up. While DinoBoy13 was actually doing it in the corner
Another explosion occurs spreading flaming debris everywhere. Vikings scatter as Stoick calmly brushes off a flame.
STOICK (to men) What have we got?
VIKING Gronkles, Nadders, zipplebacks, oh and Hoark saw a monstrous Nightmare.
STOICK Any Night Furies?
VIKING None so far.
STOICK Good.
Toothless was satisfied at his fear. Stoic said something about 'horrible monsters brainwashing Hiccup' and was ready for revenge.
"It's not brainwash." said Brain "I can read minds."
Huge torches are lifted into the air as Vikings stream past underneath. Dragons are revealed overhead.
Below, Hiccup is seen entering a small open building that has a smokestack.
INT. Blacksmith shop He crosses behind a counter where a big burley man with a blonde moustache is seen with a peg leg and tongs for a hand.
GOBBER Ah! Nice of you to join the party. I thought that you had been carried off.
Hiccup grabs an apron and puts it on and starts to clean up the cluttered stall.
HICCUP Who, me? Nah, come on! (grunting) I'm waaaay to muscular for their taste. They wouldn't know what to do with all (beat) this.
Hiccup "flexes" his puny arms.
Ruffnut teased Hiccup by saying, "He couldn't even pick up a sword!" Hiccup smiled, knowing what happens next.
GOBBER Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?
'Was this what I should be like?' Stoic thought. The closeness between them was obvious.
Hiccup continues to grab damaged weapons.
HICCUP (V.O)
The meathead with attitude and interchangeable hands is Gobber. I've been his apprentice since I was little. (down) Well, littler.
"Who are you calling meathead?"
"You"
"Toothpick."
"Meathead!"
"I want to watch the movie!" said SM
EXT. VILLAGE ON STOIC He goes on to battle the dragons. Then a dragon lights the roof of the house on fire.
HICCUP (V.O) See? Old village. Lots and lots of new houses.
E
VIKING Fire!
On teens, carrying buckets of water. Hiccup leans out to see them.
HICCUP (V.O)
Oh, and that's Fishlegs, Snotlout, The twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut, and (beat, dreamy) Astrid.
Snotlout exclaimed, "We look so awesome!" While Tuffnut was going on about "Hiccup and Astrid sitting in a tree…."
Slow motion on teens as the walk together. They look awesome.
HICCUP (V.O) Their job is so much cooler.
He tries to leap out but is caught by Gobber who is holding back his tunic.
"Why do you always have to pick me up?" Hiccup complained.
"You're as light as a toothpick, toothpick!" Gobber said.
HICCUP (whining) Ah, come on. Let me out, please. I need to make my mark.
GOBBER Oh, you've made plenty of marks. All in the wrong places.
"Yeah, do you remember the time with the flamethro-" "Let's just watch the movie." Hiccup said quickly.
HICCUP Please, two minutes. I'll kill a dragon. My life will get infinitely better. I might even get a date.
"Yeah right and I'm gonna marry a dragon." said Snotlout "Yeah right."
Astrid glared at him and did the unthinkable. She grabbed Hiccup's face and smooched him right on the lips. Tongue and all.
"What!? What?!
GOBBER You can't lift a hammer,
"True"
you can't swing an axe,
"Affirmative"
you can't even throw one of these!
"Completely true!" Finished Hiccup.
As he is talking, a Viking nabs it out of his hand and successfully throws it at a gronkle, capturing it.
HICCUP Okay fine, but this will throw it for me.
He pats a strange contraption and it suddenly activates, throwing the bloa and hitting a Viking in the forehead.
The Viking that got hit shouted, "Hey! That hurt!" Hiccup didn't bother to answer.
HICCUP Mild calibration issue.
GOBBER Hiccup. If you ever want to get out there and fight dragons, you need to stop all (beat)
He gestures at Hiccup.
GOBBER …this.
Except for Stoic, everybody present laughed at Gobber's teasing.
HICCUP (annoyed) But you just gestured to all of me.
GOBBER Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you.
HICCUP (mocking) Ohhhhhhhhhh
GOBBER (mocking back) Ohhhhhhh yes.
HICCUP You sir are playing a dangerous game. Keeping this much raw Vikingness contained. (Beat) There will be consequences!
"Oh boy, there were consequences!" Astrid exclaimed.
"Tell me about it. How did I get myself into this mess?" Hiccup said.
Gobber teased, "Even for you, this is an all time high!" Even though he was mad at everybody else, he was ready to forgive Gobber.
"Don't you mean already." said Brain. DB grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and locked him in the closet preventing him from reading anyone's mind.
Hiccup pointed a finger a Gobber. He get's tossed a sword.
GOBBER (dryly) I'll take my chances. Sword. Sharpen. Now.
Ruffnut stared. "Of course I can pick up the sword, I've been in the forge since I was 5!" Hiccup said smugly.
"Smugness it's nice isn't it." said Brain. The Vikings all stared at him. "It means he's smarter than all of you."
Hiccup trudges over to the grinder day dreaming.
HICCUP (V.O)
One day I'll get out there. Because killing a dragon is everything around here.
All the dragons shifted. Maybe this would explain why they were being hunted.
A Nadder head I sure to al least get me noticed. Gronkles are tough. Taking down one of those would definitely get me a girlfriend. A zippleback? Exotic, exiting. Two heads, twice the status.
Huh. Killing a dragon was a way to show "manliness and courage". Though they were a bit confused about Hiccup. Every time dragon killing was mentioned he got a bit green. Plus he smelled like a night fury.
VIKING They found the sheep!
At the mention of sheep, half the dragons licked their chops. Hiccup said, "Don't even think about it." At this Stoic thought, 'Yep. I definitely have to get him fixed. Now he is talking to dragons.'
"Uh I do that too." said Brain "We all do and so do you because you talk to them when your about to kill them."
STOIC Concentrate fire over the lower bank.
HICCUP (V.O)
And then there's the Monstrous Nightmare. Only the best Vikings go after those. They have this nasty habit of setting themselves on fire.
Future Hookfang stomped his foot in agreement.
Stoic looks round to see the nightmare emerging.
STOIC I'll take care of this.
He starts to hit it with his hammer.
At every hit Hiccup winces. The Vikings that notice think, 'Surely he wouldn't pity them!'
"He does actually." said Brain.
"Can stop that please?" Hiccup begged.
Then there is a loud screaming sound. Everyone looks up, including Hiccup in the stall.
HICCUP (V.O)
But the ultimate prize is the dragon no one has ever seen. We call it the
VIKING Night Fury! Get down!
Toothless grinned at this. He was the best!
STOIC Jump!
The tower is hit and starts crumbling as it gets hit by a plasma blast. A dark shape passes by with a whoosh
HICCUP This thing never steals food, never shows itself, and…
Another hit at the tower destroys it completely.
HICCUP (V.O)
…never misses. No one has ever killed a night fury. That is why I'm going to be the first.
"Yeah, Hiccup will kill a Night Fury as soon as Viking fly! I would be his slave for a day as soon as that happens!" Snotlout exclaimed. Astrid and Hiccup shared a secret smile. I wonder what he would make Snotlout do. Brain was sneaking up on Hiccup with a needle filled with green ooze.
Luckily he was caught by SM before he could do any damage.
"Not yet anyway." SM said.
"Oh and by the way." said Ruby. She shot Gobber with a ray that made him fly.
"WEHAW!"
DinoBoy13 grabbed Gobber with his tail and set Gobber down. "No tourchering people Ruby
In the forge Gobber untwists his hammer and twists an axe on instead.
GOBBER Man the fort Hiccup. The need me out there. (hesitant) Stay. Put. There. You know what I mean.
"Okay Hiccup. Who wants the yak's milk? Sit. Stay. Good boy!" Gobber said while cracking the room up. Hiccup turned a puppyish look and sat and stayed. But DinoBoy didn't think it was a joke.
"Oh, oh I want the milk I do." He chanted on all fours wagging his tail and licking his lips
He turns and hollers into the crowd.
Moments later Hiccup is pushing a wheel barrow like thingy through the cluster.
VIKING Hiccup, where are you going?
VIKING Comeback here!
HICCUP I know. Be right back
STOIC Mind yourselves! The devils still have some juice in them.
The Nadders that had been caught winced. Stoic was pretty strong.
"SM's Stronger." said you know who.
On Hiccup he reaches a cliff where he quickly pulls and pushes a bunch of thingies and stops, waiting for a target.
HICCUP (muttering) Come on, give me something to shoot at, give me something to shoot at.
BOOM! A tower is hit. A whoosh tells Hiccup that its there. He pulls the trigger and watches it without hesitating. Suddenly there's a WHACK and a SCREECH.
The movie stops for a moment. Then the roar from the cheering crowd fills the room. Everyone felt bad about how they ignored him and now- now Hiccup is a hero!
"Oh so as soon as he shoots down a Night Fury he's a hero. You people are so shallow." said Brain
HICCUP (amazed) Oh, I hit it. Yes I hit it! Did anybody see that?
Behind Hiccup a Nightmare sneaks toward him as he turns around.
HICCUP (sarcastically) Except for you.
A lot of the Vikings wondered how he could be so funny. One person asked and was answered with, "I have had a lot of practice." Then he said darkly, "It's how I brush off the hurtful comments."
"I use it too." said DinoBoy13
"Me too." said Brain.
"You get bullied?" asked Hiccup.
"Yeah were basically you two." said DinoBoy13 as he pointed to Hiccup and Fishlegs. "Accept unlike you two which I personally don't get we have someone who looks out for us. Ruby and SM are our basically older siblings. But you idiot viking teens don't honestly like each other just fighting. It's like a pecking order. Am I babbling?'
"Yes dummy now let us go to the next scene!"
