Title: Dispersions of Love.
Series of One-Shots!
Summery: When Mikasa is injured and not allowed to partake the next expedition; leaving Levi to fight without her company.
Rating: T, this may change for future chapters.
Disclaimer: I do not own Snk. If I did, I would have ditched the story line and turned it into a romance. So, be grateful.
Chapter 2. Uncertainties
Note: Thank you for the few that favourited, followed and reviewed this story. You guys are so nice! Please talk to me, tell me about the chapter if you liked it or not. What you think I should improve on, spelling & grammar mistakes and don't forget Prompts! Please enjoy this chapter now…
Here she was again. In her Corporals',—now lover's room. Levi was sitting there, on the very same chair with the same dull lamp shining on his paper works, illuminating his features; same as always. He peered up to see her, he had been expecting her after all. Mikasa hadn't knocked as she entered the room, unlike her habitual manner and he seemed somewhat startled. She sauntered up to him and plopped down tiredly in a chair on the opposite.
"Hey." She voiced dryly, but it was alright. She could be as tired, as grumpy or as depressed as she wanted. She could be her true self when she was with him. No hiding or camouflaging her emotions, because he already saw past them.
"…Hey." He greeted focusing back down to his documents. Corporal Levi was a busy man. She doubted he was fond of paperworks very much, if at all. There were countless forms from governments, those from aggravating religious cults and not to mention that of disputation from numberless civilians. Nevertheless he did them anyways. Mikasa had asked him once, why there were so much. He replied that his portions were less than half of Erwins' or Hanjis'. The other two were dealt with several permission slips, request inquiries and so on. Mikasa suddenly harbour significantly, more respect for the two individuals. So much so that she felt a little guilty at times. Being a lower ranked soldier, she never had to do much paperwork and so whenever she came to his room she would offer to help with the current load; Levi always let her.
"You need some help?" Mikasa offered.
"… No, I'm almost done," he looked up at her again, "Have you had dinner?"
"… No." Mikasa answered guiltily glancing her gaze sideways. She knew Levi disliked it when she skipped meals. Initially she tried fabricating her eating habits but he somehow always found out so she had given up on lying, letting honesty take over.
She noticed Levi's ominous death-stares.
"Go get something now. That's order."
"Tch, now you use your authorities." Mikasa bit him a snide look as she got up to get her hands on some late dinner, not missing the smirk on the shorty's face.
.
Mikasa came back with some salad a loaf of bread in hand. Levi seemed to have finished his enormous batch of paperworks and had gone to change. Mikasa flopped back down, this time in Levi's seat, a habit she adapted when ever he finished his paperworks. Mikasa began munching on her food.
To her startle, two strong arms enveloped around her neck loosely, spreading mellow warmth through her body. Mikasa angled her face to the man, and Levi lazed his head on her shoulders, at that point kissing her gently on the crook of her neck. He had been doing this ever since they got together. It was a gesture that stunned Mikasa at the beginning, sending waves of mixed emotions down her spine. Though now she grew to adore it.
"..Hanji told me your arm hasn't healed," Levi broke their comfortable silence, "You know what that means don't you?" His tone impulsively became serious. Mikasa had injured her right arm and broke a few ribcages during the last expedition, buying time for her teammates to escape. Her ribcages had mostly healed up, aside from a few shooting pains she experiences when sitting down and standing up. Her right arm had only began to heal, she's unable to apply any strength to it, therefore missing all her training sessions with Levi. Battling titans meant relying on her 3D Manoeuvre Gear and that meant using both her arms at full strength.
Deep down Mikasa knew she wouldn't be allowed to partake the upcoming expedition, though she was refusing to except it. Just waiting around, unable to do a single thing but pray, while her lover, her family, best friends and teammates were sent out to fight, no guarantee of returning, to her was more agonising than being there sacrificing herself. She hated being useless more than anything.
Mikasa broke off from his grasp.
"I know… I know that… I- I won't be going with you this time," Mikasa quivered, unable to look him in the eye as Levi shifted his weight on to the desk. "..Y-you, when are you leaving?" She already knew.
"Tomorrow." The words came out of his mouth painfully. He knew it was hard for her.
"Oh, that early…" It wasn't a question, "Promise me something Levi." Mikasa asked, at last making eye contact. "Promise me, that you will protect Eren instead of me."
"Tch, that's what Erwin and Hanji tells me at every meeting, now you too?, Levi muttered, irritatingly. "Seems like if Eren dies I'll get murdered by all you guys." Mikasa simpered a small smile, for the first time that day finding herself amused before another realisation flooded her. If he doesn't come back from the expedition she wondered whether she would ever laugh like this again. Whether someone would have childish bickers with her, whether someone would caress her as well as Levi did. Whether she would find her comfort space again.
Mikasa positioned herself to hug him firmly but not forcefully. She rested her cheek on his familiar chest and he rested his head on hers. Returning the hold as passionately as she did.
"… Levi, you have to come back," Mikasa pleaded, "Come back to me. Promise me."
"I promise."
.
That night Mikasa spent it in his room; for what could be their last night together.
.
The more capable bunch of the scouting Legion soldier departed early dawn. Mikasa was there to see them off.
A few newly graduated trainees were unnerved to find out Mikasa, worth a hundred soldiers, skills on par with humanities strongest soldier, was not assisting in the expedition. Though, the matured soldiers were more or less used to it. No matter how strong, how skilled you were, if luck wasn't on your side that day, you're a goner.
Once the majority of soldier had left, the fortress was filled with much, much quiet. Every person she ambled passed had the same distinct look in their eyes. The look of a mixture between guilt, frustration, restlessness and solace mingled together, disgusting Mikasa. She wasn't sure if she too had the look.
.
It had been over three hours riding on horse backs for the soldiers. Levi hadn't encountered any titans himself, yet. Still he could estimate more than 10 percent of their troops were gone.
"Oi, Eren, we're speeding up." ordered Levi.
"Yes sir!" shouted Eren.
Their group were situated in the front right wing, to avoid any abnormal titans predicting their same location in the formation as the last few times. Together with them were Hanji, Armin and Jessica, a top 2 newly graduated trainee, Mikasa's substitute for the plan. Of course her skills were nowhere near Mikasa's. Levi took a glance at her. She, herself seemed to have realised that judging from her facade.
As they cantered along Levi's thoughts fell on to no one other than Mikasa, before a loud scream snaps him out of it.
*Ah-ahhh!*
They are faced in front with five, 15 meter class titans sprinting intimidatingly straight at them. they must have come for Eren, Levi concluded, but how did they enter so deep into the formation without us noticing!?
"Hanji, Jessica! You two take out the two titans at the back. I'll take care of the other two, Armin you take the remanding one on the left. Eren you stay put!" ordered Levi as he prepared his 3D Manoeuvre Gear before grappling off.
"Yes sir!" Everyone responded in unison.
Levi grappled in to the air before releasing more gas, angled his spin, slicing through the titans nape cleanly. He wasted no time on the second one. Repeating his movements from before, release, gas, grapple, slice. He then checked to see the others already taken care of their assigned titans. Levi glanced back to Eren, finding him still near by, then turning his head back to the direction these titans had been coming from. Not good. There were more more piling in, not to mention most were at least 14 meter classes.
Hanji seemed have noticed as well as she was fiddling with her fire gun, no doubt signalling for help. Erwin's group was slightly to the front left, according to the formation. If he saw it, more backups would make way. Meanwhile it was up to them.
.
Mikasa was growing impatiently nervous. It had been more than five hours since they were gone and she hadn't been able to get anything done yet today. All due to wavering concentrations and fidgety fingers. She had been subconscious the whole day and by noon found herself in front of Levi's room. She pulled out the keys Levi had given to her before he left and slot it in through the keyhole before twisting it open.
She was swept with the familiar scent that can only be associated with one man. The room was left in a neat manner; as expected of Levi. She plopped down on his bed and soothed her hands across the soft and customary covers.
"You have to come back, Levi… and bring the others too…" Mikasa uttered softly before closing her eye lids, falling into slumber.
.
"HANJI!" shouted Levi, "Behind!" he screamed. 'It's too late, she can't turn around in time! Dammit!' Levi cursed. It all happened in a blur. A 15 meter class headed intently for Jessica. Hanji must have seen it also, because she swung as quickly as she could on to it's nape intending to cut it. What she didn't see however was another titan behind her, ready to devour.
Levi had left with no choice. He flew in with his grappling hooks, aiming for the titan. He knew, with this late a timing he would presumably get noticed before having the chance to slice it. And he was right.
The titan noticed him, now targeting Levi instead.
"Oi, Levi! Watch out!" Hanji finally seemed to comprehend what going on. Levi expected this as much. There were another two titans behind this one so escaping there wasn't an option, he was too late anyways.
*Whup* Levi struggled to divert his movement from the titan but was captured in one of its grips. He struggled to get free, at the same time hearing all the screams directed to him from his teammates. The hold was tightened and Levi was beginning to loose consciousness. *Squeeze* Another crush from the titan and all went black. 'Mikasa' was the last thing he thought of.
.
.
.
*Ding, ding, ding* The loud repeats of bells snapped Mikasa out of her apparent doze. 'Those were the bells signalling their return' Mikasa gruffly realised. She hastily picked herself up and rushed as fast as she could to see her returning (or what was left) of her teammates.
.
As she arrived at the scene an invisible weight lifted of her shoulders little by little, as she saw some of friends had survived. She hurried past the complaining civilians and ticked boxes in her head.
Sasha, Connie, Jean, Krista. She searched for more, ..Armin, Eren 'Eren is safe!' she thanked the lord and she strode up to them.
'Levi!?. What about Levi!?' She hasn't seen him yet. She halted in her tracks and looked around in hope to find him. She started to panic but stopped and gathered her thoughts. 'He was with Eren. Eren would know what happened to him.'
"Eren!" shouted Mikasa as she caught up with them. "Where is the Corporal!? Where is Levi?" Eren seemed surprised to see her before a look of guilt covered his face and he turned away, not daring to make eye contact. Mikasa instantly felt sick. Armin helped out instead.
"Mikasa, Corporal Levi is here," pointing his finger to the cart before him. "… He was injured.. quite severely." Mikasa wasted no time climbing onto the cart. Her heart sank as she saw Levi and Hanji examining his wound determinedly. Mikasa was scared to interrupt her, so she didn't. Instead she moved closer to Levi and caressed his bloodstained cheek with her left hand. It felt cold. Mikasa froze.
"H-he's so cold. Why?" shuddering as she asked.
".. His heart stopped beating," Hanji confessed.
.
"..Huh..?"
.
"Make way for the carts and tend to the injured soldiers!" Hanji ordered as bravely as she could; she faced up to Mikasa. "Mikasa, Snap out it! We're going to save him. I'm not letting die!," tear streaming down Hanji's cheeks and she wiped them away, "Now help me carry him to infirmary!" At that moment she was so grateful humanity had someone like Hanji on their side.
"… Mm!"
.
.
Mikasa's heart rate was racing as she held her two palms together close to her chest. Levi was in the hands of specialists now and there was nothing she could do but wait.
Wait to be told if he was alive or dead; two outcomes that could make or break her.
Hanji was sitting next to her outside the infirmary, not in a much better shape. Her hands trembling in a prayers position, eye shut tightly. She had never seen Hanji this way before. Hanji was a close friend of Levi's, she had known him for much longer than Mikasa had. They were companions that had gone through hell and come back. Losing him would break her the same way it would Mikasa.
The red lights above the entrance went off and the Medics exited the room, one walked up to them. Hanji peeped up and Mikasa's heart beat faster, she was going to faint any moment if this dragged on for any longer.
"H-how is Levi?" Mikasa was about to ask before Hanji beat her to it.
"He is still in critical condition, but his life is no longer in danger." Mikasa breathed relief. "He has taken severe hits to his hip bones, though they are thankfully not broken. Though one shattered bone in his right wrist and lower thigh, those will take some time to heal. he won't be walking for a while, let alone fighting. Nevertheless he is alive." The doctor smiled lightly. "Visitors are allowed though he won't gain consciousness anytime soon." And with that he walked away leaving a much relieved Mikasa and Hanji.
"He is alive." All the tensions in her body were released and streams of tears ran down her cheeks. She almost missed Hanji walking away. ".. Aren't you going to visit him?"
"He is alive, I can visit him later!" Hanji lifted a thumbs up at her and skipped her day away. Mikasa had no words for the woman.
.
His face was pale, his skin was white and he was covered in wounds. Even so, he was alive.
To her, it felt like a long time since they were together, albeit it being a little over 10 hours. Mikasa reached out to touch him; to feel him again. He felt so soft, so belonging under her bare hands. She lowered her face to peck his palm then slowly and deeply kissed him on his lips. His breath tickled her nose, he was breathing; he was alive. She was grateful.
Then Mikasa felt something. She felt him, as he returned the kiss lightly. She abruptly peeled herself of him.
"Levi..?"
"…Mmm." He mumbled before straining his eyes open one by one. "Mikasa," said Levi, inaudibly. She hugged him hard.
"You almost died!" she sobbed, "You almost left me alone." She looked him in the eye, "Why weren't you more careful? … I-I was so scared, I thought I lost you…"
"…Mikasa… I can't breath," and Mikasa noticed how hard she was hugging him (Or strangling him). She let loose. "… Sorry, for worrying you" He really was. After her break down, Mikasa sat up, now leaning back in her seat, one hand still intertwined with his.
"What is your excuse?"
"For what?"
"For almost dying, you bastard!"
"… I love you." he squeezed her hand with his remaining ounce of strength. And Mikasa grinned, falling in love with him all over again.
.
.
"Not good enough."
.
.
The End.
A/N: Please tell me if you actually liked that. I tell y'all, writing angst drains the life force out of me! It took so much effort compared to more light hearted romance stuff. Anyways I hoped I did a decent job :) Was Levi OOC? BTW I couldn't think of a better name for the substitute girl, Jessica was a bit …mm.. you know? Suggest me a good name and I might change it later!
As I mentioned before, prompts are really appreciated. They make it easier for me to come up with ideas, instead of me in the shower and some sad anime OST's. ;'(
I actually have a little idea for the next chapter but it's an angst again and I still haven't quite recovered from this one lol. So I want to write some more light-hearted stuff and then have the other one posted after it.
Inspirations for the chapter: song 'Angel with a Shotgun' by The Cab.
Bye, bye 3
