Lexie sat down next to Alex in the cafeteria.

"How was the trip from Presbyterian?" she asked bluntly.

Alex lifted his head from his food and glanced at her emotionlessly.

"Oh, right, I get it. Izzie's back, I'm just the girl you screwed on the rebound," Lexie nodded to herself, glancing around.

"Yeah, like you care. You're still drooling over Sloan,"

"And you never stopped caring for Izzie, so I guess we're even," Lexie snapped.

"Whatever." Alex muttered.

"I did chemically evil things to my hair to be like her, Alex. You said her name during sex, in your sleep, even while you were bleeding in the conference room, in front of Mark Sloan, while I was trying to prove to him that I can in fact be happy without him," Lexie gritted her teeth and stared at him angrily.

"Hey dude, I didn't ask you to go blonde,"

"No, and you didn't Ask me to be a porn star in bed but I did. I did everything I thought Izzie would and I'm pissed at you, because now I can't find me." Lexie smacked her fist into the table. "All I see in the mirror is someone trying to be Izzie Stevens and that is your fault," Lexie spat, before shooting out of her seat.

Alex didn't look up. He continued eating like nothing.

Lexie wanted to hit him. She wanted to scream and shout and throw some stuff at him. Make him hurt. But she couldn't. Deep down she knew it wasn't him she was mad at.

She was mad at herself. She'd let herself do stupid, stupid things on the rebound.

She was mad at Mark Sloan. He'd changed from a slut to a boyfriend, from a boyfriend to a father, from a father to a tease. He'd now planted seedlings of hope. The hope that she could have someone to lean on while she dealt with what she knew was coming. She'd uprooted them accidentally in telling him about her husband.

Lexie sat down next to Meredith and Cristina.

"Have you met the new guy?" Meredith leaned towards Lexie.

"New guy?" Lexie raised an eyebrow.

Cristina cleared her throat and wolf whistled across the cafeteria.

Lexie turned in her seat and stared.

"Oh my god," Lexie turned back. "Did he see me?" Lexie looked desperately at Meredith.

Meredith averted her gaze from something that surely needed its own 'Mc' Nickname.

"I don't think so," Meredith peeked again.

"Meredith! You're married!" Lexie whacked her.

"You too! To that!" Meredith laughed.

"Shut up!" Lexie hit her again.

"Oh, crap, He's coming," Meredith glanced back down at her food.

Lexie breathed out. "Okay, well, I'm blonde now. Maybe he won't recognize me,"

"Hey," she heard his voice behind her.

"Hi," Meredith looked up.

Cristina waved wordlessly.

"So … your friend say anything?" he asked Meredith.

"No, I was just checking you out," Cristina answered. "You probably get that a lot, right?"

"Sometimes," he put the heels of his hands on the table, leaning forward. He was only an inch from touching her.

"Yeah, well, I'm involved, but there's no harm in looking, is there?"

Meredith stared at Cristina. "You got back with Owen? I can't believe you!"

"Oh come on," Cristina smirked.

Lexie rested her elbow on the table, using her hand to lean her head on.

"Well how about you?" He leaned towards Meredith.

"I'm married," Meredith told him with an uninterested glance.

"And you?" he smirked at Lexie.

Lexie turned her head and stared at him.

He paused. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Oh, for god's sake," Lexie shot out of her seat. "It's me, I went blonde,"

His jaw went slack. "It err … looks um … it looks nice," he pulled a face.

She started walking, with him following closely.

"Why are you here, Daniel?" she asked, continuing towards the elevators.

"Please, Lexie, we have to talk about this – about us,"

"There is no us anymore,"

"Please, Lexie. Just one more chance is all I'm asking," Daniel pleaded.

"Look," Lexie stopped and turned. "I don't get angry easily. I don't hold grudges, I don't easily back out of commitments. But you are not a commitment, you are a goddamn mistake," Lexie hissed. "You are my mistake and I wish I'd never met you,"

Daniel looked at her with pleading green eyes. He had dusty blonde hair and a tan complexion. He had been raised on Miami sunshine and six-foot blondes.

"Come on, Honey, I'm begging here,"

Lexie closed her eyes in a long blink. She couldn't look at him. She knew she'd give in, and she knew what'd happened the last time she'd given in to Daniel.

When she opened them, he was still there, but that wasn't what she first saw. Mark was getting out of the elevator behind Daniel, and had stopped, his head turned, looking at her.

Her heart ached.

All she wanted to do was see neither of them there. She turned on her heel to leave the both of them. The first thing she saw was Arizona and Callie walking up the hallway towards her, except more towards the coffee cart. Then she saw the ceiling, and felt her own shoelace under her foot.

"Oh!" Callie jumped, stepping over.

Lexie saw Callie and Arizona, and then Daniel leaning over her.

"Ouch," she sputtered, winded.

Daniel offered his hand. But then again, so did Callie.

Lexie took Callie's hand and pulled herself to her feet, rubbing her head with her fingers. She should've then tied her shoelace, but instead she smiled thankfully at Callie and left the area. Daniel stared after her, hurt and baffled. With less pride, she'd have admitted she was hurt at not seeing Mark there to even care that she'd fallen.

But then again that was him. He wasn't there when she needed him.

Lexie stayed silent until four hours into the surgery she'd been sucked into.

Meredith had talked to Derek, who'd had Lexie stuck on the same surgery as Daniel and Mark, all of which were pissed, except Daniel, who was oblivious.

Lexie cleared her throat. By now it had to be growing cobwebs.

"Lexie," Daniel whispered.

"We're in surgery." Lexie reminded him.

"Have anything you'd like to share, Dr. Grey?" Mark asked.

"No, Dr. Sloan," she answered sheepishly.

"How 'bout you, Dr. Matthews?" he looked up momentarily from the patient. "We've got a good half hour left, might as well,"

Daniel glanced at Lexie.

"Start like this – how do you know each other?"

"Dr. Sloan, this isn't something to be discussed over a patient's exposed nerves," Lexie glanced at him.

"I disagree, It seems to be the only way anyone can get you to talk. Would you agree, Dr. Sloan?"

"Shut up, Daniel," Lexie muttered.

Mark glanced back to the patient, and continued whilst talking. "So you're the guy she ditched."

"Mark-," Lexie was interrupted.

"Yeah, kind of." Daniel answered.

"Daniel, shut the hell up." Lexie gritted her teeth. How she wanted to murder him. "I didn't ditch you, you kicked me out and I didn't come crawling back, like you expected,"

"Oh, come on, you caught a plane to Seattle. That's definitely not ditching, is it?" Daniel retorted sarcastically.

"I left for my mom's funeral," Lexie answered. "And my dad started drinking or whatever and they needed someone to live in the area for him to go to rehab."

"I'd have come with you,"

"I'm not talking about this," Lexie sighed under her mask. "Not at work anyway,"

"So why did you kick her out?" Mark asked suddenly.

"What?" Daniel looked at Mark.

"I can answer that one," Lexie smirked.

"Really,"

"He kicked me out because …" Lexie laughed. "He kicked me out because he had sex with my sister when she was thirteen."

"Wait, what?" Mark glared.

Daniel gaped. She was going to spawn all their shit out on the OR table for it to spread in gossip.

"Oh, yeah, we were dating in high school, and he screwed my thirteen year old baby sister, and then he married me, and we had the big expensive wedding and then the bastard turned around and told me how he nailed her in the back of my car after taking her to a bar, buying her three bottles of vodka and driving her three miles out of town so no-one could hear," Lexie glared at Daniel, animosity flaring in her tone. "And I came home drunk, because back then I drank when I was miserable instead of eating, and I told him I was going to get a divorce …" Lexie paused and sighed.

There was no point in blurting the rest.

"And he kicked me out,"

Daniel let out a sigh.

"Dude, seriously?" Mark scoffed.

"…yeah," Daniel breathed.

"And now we're going to get a divorce and he's going to leave Seattle," Lexie glanced at him.

"Lexie," Daniel said, barely above a whisper.

Lexie didn't answer.

"Wait, you have another sister?" Mark laughed.

That made Lexie smile. "Yeah," she nodded.

Mark removed his hands from the patient. "Uh, Matthews, close up," he told Daniel.

Daniel nodded.

Lexie dried her gloves and the nurse pulled them off for her. She followed Mark to the scrub room.

She put her hands under the tap, silent. Mark was already washing his hands, his mask untied.

She dried her hands again and untied and removed her mask. She put her hands on the edge of the scrub sink, looking down.

Mark sighed. "So,"

Lexie shook her head. "I can deal." She nodded and turned to look at him. "I know last night I told you all my crap because I thought I needed to be with someone to help me deal with this, but you know what, I can deal with this." She breathed.

"I can deal with him. I can deal with this," she tried to convince herself. "I don't need you to help me deal, especially when you've got your own insecurities and … and your Hot-Cold thing and …" she could hear her voice cracking with the lump in her throat. "It's fine. I'm fine," Lexie swallowed, turning back to the sink.

"I'm sorry," Mark told her. "I'm sorry, Lexie,"

Lexie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, before wiping the sweat from her forehead. She wasn't about to cry. She couldn't.

"I have my own crap now, and I've been avoiding it and …" she paused and smiled bitterly at Mark. "I'm glad that … I'm glad you can have relationships now. And I'm glad you understand what love is. I'm glad I helped you figure all that out, but … I can't."

Mark breathed. He knew he'd made a mistake last night.

"Daniel's back and all I can think about is how he made me feel … useless and not good enough, so I can't deal with you and your rejection, because as much as I hate it, I'm in love with you and your rejection is too much for me,"

Mark was speechless. He wanted to defend himself, but his guilt took over. She was hurt and he'd contributed to it.

"So … I'm going to leave, and no one is going to follow me." Lexie nodded slowly.

"Lexie," Mark began.

Lexie looked.

"I'm an ass." Mark breathed.

Lexie nodded slowly. "Yeah… yeah, I can't deny that," she laughed.

Mark smiled sadly.

And with that she left.

Lexie was sitting on the barstool, leaning against the bar. She was drunk.

"Meredith," she laughed, gaining her sisters attention.

"yeah?" Meredith asked. Meredith wasn't drunk. She was just having silly fun with Cristina, who was.

"I … I want to tell you about me," Lexie giggled. "My ex husband was … an unfaithful … abusive … lying … egotistical … drunk … pedophile!" she burst in laughter.

Meredith stared. "What now?"

"I broke my jaw- no, he broke my jaw … and my arm … and I had two surgeries because of internal bleeding,"

Meredith didn't answer, but she looked towards the door.

Lexie turned her head to look at the door. Mark was standing there, mouth agape. It was clear what was in his hand. Lexie's medical files.

She immediately sobered up and sat upright.

"Mark …" she swallowed.