I am so sorry that I have not updated in ages lots of things have been going on … like college and family issues. Usual disclaimers apply do not own them if I did I would not be writing this.
Sober
I sat on my couch in a daze that did not happen Joe would never hit me. I wish Ranger was here he would comfort me give me his strength his silent support. I got up and walked over to my freezer one pint of Ben and jerry's fish food was sitting in there calling my name. I sit on the couch with a spoon and open up the tub as soon as the first bite is swallowed I feel better. Even though ranger was always there for me I needed someone to talk with. If there was any hope of us he needed to end the man of mystery shit.
I don't want to be the girl that laughs the loudest.
Or the girl that never wants to be alone.
I don't want to be that call at four o clock in the morning
Because I am the only one in the world that won't be home
Ah the sun is blinding I stayed up again oh I am finding that's not the way I want my story to end
Can I live with ranger being gone all the time? The one sided conversations? God I loved him, but is that going to ever be enough. I do not want to come home at night and have a one word conversation. All I know is the back and forth crap is going to end I just cannot do it anymore. On the other side of the spectrum he shows me with actions what he does not show me with words.
The days of us just being friends are over we either try to be together in a relationship or not at all. The only bad thing about this If I turns out bad I am going to lose my best friend.
I'm safe up high nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over
No pain inside you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober
Coming down coming down coming down
Spinning round Spinning round Spinning round
Looking for myself sober
Coming down coming down coming down
Spinning round Spinning round Spinning round
Looking for myself sober
Once I am halfway through the pint I just do not care about the risk I love him even though it might leave me broken I have to try. I just now start to feel the bruise forming on my face. I trusted him he was my friend and he betrayed me. Ranger is not Joe I tell myself he is a good man, even though he has his faults. I am just so sick of all of this why can't he tell it to me strait. Have you told him anything strait out or have you hid your feelings.
When it's good then it's good it's so good till it goes bad
Then you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry never again broken down in
Agony just trying to find a friend
When he left me after our one night together and told me to go back to Joe I was broken. I had almost told him I loved him but before I cold those words spewed out of his mouth. After he left I sat on the floor and sobbed I only got up to eat and shower. I never want to feel that way again never I said that then and I am saying it now. Why would he do that if he loved me how could he send me back too an "unhealthy pattern of behavior". Maybe it was because you had just broken up with Joe again maybe he was guarding his hart from you she thought. They definitely needed to talk about a lot of things.
I'm safe up high nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over
No pain inside you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober
After her pint of ice cream Stephanie got in the shower and scrubbed all the grime and the feeling of Joe off her . She sat on the floor of the shower and sobbed. She cried out all of her insecurities and all her doubts she knew who she had to call. The only person that knew Ranger well enough to answer her questions Tank. She grabbed the phone, and hit five on the speed dial before she could change her mind. Hopefully Tank had the answers she needed.
I'm safe up high nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over
No pain inside you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober
Please read and review let me know if you want me to continue
