"Did you need a ride home this afternoon?" Tamaki asked, as Haruhi put away the last of the tea cups she'd finished washing. She looked up, ready to say no, but the word caught in her throat. She hadn't gotten to spend more than a few moments here and there alone with Tamaki, even though it'd been nearly a month since Valentine's Day. It hadn't been through any fault of their own, but if Haruhi was being honest with herself, and she liked to be as often as possible, even if she did like Tamaki, it didn't really matter. She didn't have time for dealing with love between classes, housework, and the Host club. Especially since they were in the last planning stages for the White Day party. They'd worked hard to get all the preparations finished, especially since Tamaki kept changing his mind and coming up with new ideas that absolutely had to be implemented. For the most part, Kyoya kept the Host King in check and the wild and random ideas from Tamaki had slowed down.
"Oh, well, I don't strictly need one," she answered, "but I wouldn't mind a ride if it's not a trouble."
"Of course it's not trouble."
When Haruhi had gotten her jacket on and her bag on her shoulder, she turned to Tamaki who seemed to be staring off into space. He did this often, of course, and Haruhi was never entirely sure where his mind went every time he day dreamed.
"Tamaki? Tamaki?" It took a moment to get his attention, but he finally snapped out of whatever random train of thought he had been stuck in. He a blush lightly tinged his face, but didn't say a word other than to ask if she was ready to go. Haruhi nodded, and followed him out to the parking lot outside the front gate. It wasn't particularly cold, especially for early March, but it wasn't warm yet either. The snow left over from the last storm of the season was mostly melted away, though, and small signs of spring were starting to make themselves known. Campus groundskeepers had already made sure that the trees were pruned to make room for the coming growth.
"Are you looking forward to the party?" Tamaki asked as he opened the car door for Haruhi. She gave him an odd look, pausing for too long, as she realized she hadn't even considered whether or not she looked forward to the event. She hadn't even really had the time or energy to think about enjoying herself for her own sake with everything going on.
"I suppose I am," she finally said. She got into the car and tried, at least for the moment, not to focus on the dinner she'd need to cook, or the laundry and studying that would be put off so she could spend a night at the White Day party. "It'll be nice to give something back to the girls who've visited the club so much in the last month, two really, in the time leading up to Valentine's."
"Indeed," Tamaki said, settling into his own seat. He didn't elaborate, but just gazed at her as though his mind was wandering again. His eyes had that slightly glazed over look when he daydreamed his wild dreams, they weren't filled with starry excitement, instead they were much more relaxed, as if partially grounded in reality.
"Um, sempai?" she said. It was one thing when he did this sort of thing during club hours. Usually the twins, Kyoya, and even Mori once or twice, were able to reign him in. Now, it felt like it was wasting the short time they had alone together. Even if she didn't have time to even think about dating and romance, she wanted to at least enjoy their friendship in the time she did have.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking a little too much," he said. "White Day isn't until the day after tomorrow, but-" He paused, no, fully stopped. He swallowed and took a deep breathe as if he were nervous. Just the idea that Tamaki Suoh, the Host Club King with the ability to be smooth and suave with any women, could be nervous was laughable to Haruhi. "I wanted to, well, give you your present separately."
Haruhi furrowed her brow. "I thought we already covered my White Day present. You guys let me have my pick of food to have at the party. That definitely more than enough." Kyoya had suggested the present, and it sounded like a great present. The twins even promised that they'd make sure that she got to try at least a little bit of each food she'd picked out. It was honestly the best thing she really could expect from the Host club in terms of presents. They had a habit of embarrassing her in trying to give her things.
"That's true, but I really wanted to give you something special. You went through the effort to make something you clearly cared a great deal about. The recipe you used was one from your mother's collection, wasn't it?" Haruhi nodded, her mouth going too dry for her to respond easily. "I thought so. I could tell that you really put your heart into it. That why I really wanted to do something extra."
She waited, one moment, two, for him to say more, but instead of saying anything further, he pulled out his phone. A frown found it's way to Haruhi's face as she felt confused. She'd found that state of mind more familiar since joining the Host Club but it was still uncomfortable for her. Tamaki pressed a few buttons and held the phone up to his ear, and Haruhi could hear it ring once, twice, and a third time before a click and vague voice said something on the other line.
"Hey Kyoya? It's Tamaki. Remember the conversation we had last week? Yeah, that one. Well, I'm going to do it. I'll send you the money to put in the Host Club fund when I get home. Thanks for letting me do this. Yeah, yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."
Silence filled the car yet again as Tamaki put his phone away and sat back, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Haruhi's frown deepened.
"Do you plan on explain any of it, sempai?" she finally asked, and Tamaki looked at her, a startled look on his face.
"I, uh, got a little ahead of myself, didn't I?"
"A little."
"I guess I should explain. You might understand a little bit better why it's the sort of thing that can make one forget little details. The White Day present I wanted to give you is freedom from your debt to the club."
The dry feeling returned to her mouth. "W-what?" she replied, more out of surprise than anything. She'd looked at her numbers just days ago with Kyoya. There was nearly ¥5 million left on her ledger. If she didn't make a habit of reviewing her numbers weekly, she might have thought Kyoya was specifically making sure she knew how much Tamaki was spending on her. Clearly he knew it was coming, from what Tamaki had just said while he was on the phone.
"I know there's no guarantee you'll stay with the club, now that you aren't indebted to us," he explained. "I hope you will, but it's not fair that we take away your ability to do what you want. It's also occured to me that it may be unethical, considering my feelings."
"Your feelings? You mean our conversation on Valentine's day?" she managed, trying desperately to sound even and calm even though thoughts raced through her mind.
"Yes. I want to respect you," he said. "I want to be up front. I-well, I love you, Haruhi. I was hoping you might be willing to be my girlfriend?"
Haruhi had no idea how to respond. Her feelings hadn't changed in the last month, but the problem was that her feelings hadn't changed. She still definitely liked him, though there was no exploration into whether she returned his feelings of love. In that moment, though, she knew there was no one she felt even remotely the same for, even when she included how fond she was of the rest of the boys in the Host Club. Her eyes dropped to her hands, folded in her lap.
"I'm sorry, Tamaki. You just spent so much to ask that question. I just don't think that I'm ready for a relationship right now," she told him. "I don't want to leave the Host Club, but that means I simply don't have time to add something else on top. I have so many responsibilities."
"I see."
She couldn't bring herself to look up to see the likely heart broken look in Tamaki's eyes. She knew she was hurting him to say it, and it would tear her apart to see it just that moment.
"I think," she added, speaking slowly and steadily without much effort, "that if I was ready, if I did have the time, you're the only person I would want to be my- my boyfriend."
There. She had been every bit upfront with him as he'd been with her. He'd risked a great deal to tell her that. He had every right to think she'd leave the Host Club the moment she was able and maybe a few weeks ago, she might have. The sheer amount of stress brought on by the 'season of love' really showed Haruhi how much she could really rely on the guys in the Host Club to support her. She'd realized they'd become her family and in this exact moment, with her debt completely erase in front of her eyes, she didn't want to quit the club. Finally, she made herself look up into Tamaki's eyes. She had expect him to look sad, heartbroken, but a smile, different from his bright, wide Host smile, played on his lips.
"I'm glad you told me, Haruhi. I don't regret paying your debt," he told her. "I meant it when I said I want to respect you. I know that includes respecting your boundaries. I just hope you know that my position won't change, at least for a long while. If you want to change your answer, let me know."
All at once, Haruhi's guilt at turning Tamaki down completely vanished. He really did want her to be happy, and she was confident in her feelings. It didn't change the fact she couldn't date him, but she knew the moment she was ready, he would know. A smile formed on her face as she relaxed.
"Now that I don't have to worry too much about my debt, I wonder if I could get away with wearing a few more dresses," she said. She had just intended on teasing him a little, but his mouth dropped open.
"Do you think you would wear dresses more often?" he asked as a familiar starry excitement filled his eyes. She sighed and patted his hand.
"I can talk to the twins tomorrow. I can't wear them to school, but they have a rack of dresses for different cosplays. Right now, it's not the end of the world if I get found out, so I guess there's nothing wrong with wearing one once in awhile."
They chatted about club events coming up, the White Day party, a cherry blossom viewing Kyoya has planned as a more 'intimate' event in comparison, as well as a couple cosplay says Tamaki had in mind. Haruhi found herself reluctant to get out of the car when they pulled up to her apartment.
"Feel free to text me, okay?" she asked.
"Of course."
"You're wearing that?" Hikaru asked as Haruhi stepped out of her changing room. She was wearing the same white tuxedo that the twins had already put on.
"Of course. What else would I wear?" With how hard Tamaki had begged and argued for the more expensive option for the club member, even after Kyoya had said they'd wear them, it was unthinkable that she'd wear any of the other clothes on the rack.
"I would have thought you'd see the white dress and wear that Kaoru left right next to the mirror," he said. "We picked it out specifically for you, now that you don't have to pretend to be male." Haruhi rolled her eyes. Just in the last two days, the twins took every single opportunity to try to convince her to wear a dress. She almost considered it an obsession.
"Well telling the girls today probably wouldn't turn out well, considering this is our gift to them," she pointed out. Hikaru just shrugged.
"Well, feel free to take the dress," he said. "It's from the line I'm designing with my mom, and I made that one to look good on you."
"Oh, well thanks, I guess."
"Are you ready? It's almost time for our entrance," Kyoya's voice called into the room. Haruhi sighed as Hikaru bounded out of the room and followed behind him. Everyone sounded like they thought this was her last event as a host. She just shook her head and joined the lineup of hosts for their entrance. She could help the smile on her face as they entered and she saw the excitement in the girls' faces. She made the decision to stay in the club because of the family she'd found among the Hosts, but seeing the happiness in the girls they served really was a nice bonus.
She really loved the Host Club in general and, especially now that she was free, she wouldn't trade them for anything.
