So slightly mixed reviews of late but I'm writing this story for myself really. Its an idea I cant get out of my head until I get it on the page. So onwards to the latest chapter!

Again, if you don't really read the author notes. This story is purely and one hundred percent fictional! Based on no real characters other than the ones I have running around in my head.

Its only placed in the "Reign" series section because I see no other category it could fall under on this website, if anyone does please let me know!

Chapter Two

Destrozado Amour


The heels of my boots clicked and clicked endlessly against the stone floor of one of the many private studies only available to the close net of my family and confidants.

I pace here before the vast collection of books and tomes endlessly lost in the blurred haze that are my overbearing thoughts. All the while trying desperately to give short and blunt answers to the seemingly endless parade of servants scurrying around me.

Each one coming with their own agenda either from James or Uncle Richard to prep me for the journey that was all to quickly closing in.

It had narrowly been a month since I had oh so rudely learned of my soon to be engagement to the bastard of Spain and already my family seemed determined to iron out every single detail of the trip I was promised to take.

Sending their vassals as a means to communicate small details of my travels, as if trying to appease me in some way. It was almost like they were saying, oh we know you don't want to leave the country and of course you don't have a choice. But what dresses would you like shipped with you as a consolation prize?

It was maddening!

But were it not for the real reason that my mind drifted so far away from the flurry of commoners scurrying around me, I would have surely gone mad by now.

As if summoned by my very thoughts the large oak double doors leading into the study separated and a much appreciated sight emerged.

Framed in the entrance way, a long and slender body carelessly draped in a doublet and trousers that was obviously not made for such a lanky figure. Red hair as orange as citrus and brown eyes staring out from behind tan freckled skin.

"Jeffery. Finally, something to look forward too." I smile excitedly barely taking a moment to compose myself.

Jeffery Petit was my own personal secretary. A common boy who like so many other servants of the castle lived in the local villages and only remained here to work. Sending what little gold they made back to their families that still remained back home.

But Jeffery was different than any other attendants I had. We had known each other for several years now, he was a quite a bit older than myself but from the very moment he entered the castle four years ago to work in the kitchens I saw his talent wasted in such a tedious job.

He was persuasive, talkative and charming. Far to educated to spend his days pealing potatoes and onions. So with a little persuasion on my part towards James, his place was now never far from my side.

Unfortunately my excitement was short lived gauging the grim expression on his sunken face.

"Leave me." I say dryly towards the ever relentless swarm of attendants flocking before me. I must have sounded harsher then I intended because they dispersed with much haste.

Sealing the large oak doors behind them leaving the timidly standing messager boy I called my friend standing before me.

"Well?" I question not trying to conceal my impatience.

I watch in dread as Jeffery sucks in his bottom lip silently shaking his head as he bows in defeat.

"Nothing?" I question disbelieving.

"I wasn't permitted inside the grounds your majesty." He whispers in a reluctant tone.

His words sink into me, and I'm unable to do much else other than grasp for the cushioned bench at my side and bend into the seat.

"I'm sorry." He adds stepping forward to deliver the very cluster of still freshly sealed parchments I had sent him away with this morning.

I look down at the pile untouched and mocking.

"He didn't even open them." I state shakily trying to decided if I really feel like crying or shouting.

Jeffery accepts my dilemma as he waits patiently in silence.

"Ten years. Ten years, and he wont even read a single letter?" I think out loud. The memory of those accursed blue eyes and charming smile haunting me and making my heart ache in my chest.

"My passage has already been arranged. I'm leaving in less than a fortnight, and he wont even let me say goodbye?" I whisper. How can Nathan treat me this way?

I know he is upset. I don't blame him at all in that regard. I must have hurt him. Oh who was I kidding? Revealing our plans to elope to James would have crushed him.

But didn't he see this entire situation was far removed from my hands? I didn't have a choice! Yet, he wouldn't see me. Wouldn't speak to me in any shape or form.

Instead he stayed barricaded away in the fresh estate James had secured for his family, his consolation prize for having his engagement with the princess of France broken.

"Your majesty?" Jeffery begins but I cut him off all to bluntly.

"I'm not in the mood Jeffery!" I snap. The formality of princess was reserved for the public eye of the court. Not here, not with Jeff. We all played our parts when open for others to see. But being here, behind closed doors it was no different then how I was with Catharine.

I wasn't looking for the kind sympathy of my servant. I wanted the comfort of one of my closest friends.

"Lynne." He corrects himself before stepping closer, obviously getting my meaning clearly.

"Can I be honest with you?" He ask cautiously.

I nod staring down at my balled hands, anything is better than staring down at the awful pile of notes bearing my heart and regret in harsh inked words.

"Nathan is angry, he's hurt. Not necessarily at you, but the situation. The woman he was engaged too for over a decade just dissolved their engagement and is leaving the country. Its going to take some time for him to get over it." He states bluntly yet caring in only a fashion Jeff can.

"He's not the only one." I confess staring off towards the vast space of the study and its hundreds of books walling the two of us in.

"I'm being carted off to Spain, when I haven't spent a single day of my adult life outside these very walls." I say weakly already feeling the tears begin to sting my eyes.

"Sit with me Jeffery! Hold my hand." I beg patting the seat at my side, these last few days I have felt so isolated and alone. I would take any form of comfort I could get at this point.

I hear Jeff sigh sympathetically before doing as asked sitting at my side only to drape his slender arm around my shoulder and pull me close to his flat chest.

I sniffle against his collar. A small part of me worried that should a servant arrive and catch us in such a delicate situation it might start a scandal.

But the rumors would quickly be quelled the moment it was revealed it was Jeff comforting me. Not that it mattered to me in the least but women weren't exactly Jeffery's type, and good majority of the castle knew it.

"You're afraid?" He whispers down at me.

"I'm terrified." I admit trying to wipe away the stubborn tears that refused to leave my heated cheeks.

"Spain? I don't anything about it! The country, the people. What if everyone hates me? What if their violent and cruel and-" I began rambling fearfully.

"Your going as the honored guest of King Thiago. Your safety will be paramount. James would have made absolutely sure of it." Jeff assures.

Little does he know the real reason I feel like falling apart at this very moment. Mine and Nathans engagement being broken had already become public knowledge.

But as far as anyone else in the castle knew I was being shipped off to Spain as the honored guest of King Thiago to tour his country as a visitant of sorts to France. No one outside my immediate family knew the real reason. That I was being sold like a cow at auction to the next Spanish king, who hadn't even been legitimized yet, or for that matter knew he was destined to be placed on the throne.

"But I'll be alone." I whisper pulling away to stare into Jeff's hazel colored eyes.

"Completely alone. In a distant land, surrounded by strangers with every single person I've ever loved an entire country away." I cry weakly blinking away the rest of my tears away knowing there was no point in letting more escape.

"Lynee, I know this is hard. Terrifying, and I don't envy you. But, if anyone can overcome this ordeal its you. Of all the years I've served you, nothing has ever been able to dampen your sprit. This will be no different." He states confidently down at me.

I smile appreciatively of his optimism, only wishing I shared it.

I pull away from his slowly my hand still squeezing his tightly, knowing that this moment between us would most likely be the last.

Jeffery was a good friend, a dear friend, one of very few I even had. But he was also something else, he was just one more thing I had to let go.


I try my best to maintain a façade of indifference but the moment I cross into the council chamber and my eyes meet the trio of sitting figures waiting for my arrival. My mask falls away all to suddenly.

I look at James sitting center of the large square table that I have personally witnessed him address and command dozen of matter of state type meetings. Be it with noblemen or generals or any other subject under his command, but never once did I think I would be tasked with taking part in one such event.

The guards at my back seal the chamber doors closed once I am securely inside and I am left staring blankly at the members of my family trapped with me inside.

James at the center, Uncle Richard at his right and Stephanie to his left. And I standing still much like a target would before being pierced by a barrage of arrows.

"Thank you for coming," James breaks the silence gesturing for me to take my apparent seat before them all.

I step towards the already pulled out cushioned chair sitting as silently told to do so all the while trying desperately to reel in my growing aggravation at the situation.

Was all this grandstanding really necessary? Sending his messenger to retrieve me as if inviting me to a royal cotillion instead of a meeting with no one else than the three of them was overkill in my mind.

"You make it sound as though I had a choice." I say rigidly adjusting in my seat feeling all their eyes on me add to my frustration.

"I summoned you hear because there are a few important details that need to be discussed." He corrects which I count as a small victory.

"What more could there possibly be? I'd assume I've already learned the bunt of secrets around here." I add having horrid flashbacks to the night of James's return and my discovery of his plot.

"Lynne this is serious." Stephanie interjects ever so cautiously, only earning a hard glare from me in response.

"Its about Spain." James begins.

"Ah, my favorite subject." I reply sinking further into my seat wishing I could just duck under this very table and attempt a daring escape.

"As you know your departure from France has been revealed here at court." James confirms making me think back to the dozen or so of well wishers I had been forced to receive since the announcement.

"Yes, I've been made aware." I smile humorlessly.

"But your official story has yet to become, public." He continues obviously he has become numb to my petty attempts to agitate him.

"How much more official could it be? I'm being sent as a "guest" of King Thiago but in truth I'll be there to marry his son." I recite as I have practiced in my head over and over again. I kept telling myself that if I said it often enough that eventually the words would lose their meaning. Just become as simple as stating the weather outside or the lyrics to an overplayed song. So far, it hadn't worked.

"That is the idea. But, the situation is a bit more delicate." Uncle Richard speaks as if trying to relieve the pressure from my stare off James and onto himself.
"You see Tomas, your future-" He adds.

"I know who he is." I interrupt sharply.

Putting a name to the man I was now intended for only made me being here that much harder. It was a trivial thing to linger on, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to speak that mans name, that strangers name.

"Good, you see he has yet to be made aware of his future 'position'." Uncle Richard states delicately as if the very subject between the four of us is still taboo.

I remembered James saying something of the same degree the night I hid behind the curtains of his chambers.

I understood the motivation for such secrecy, partially. You couldn't very well have a bastard know of his legitimization before it happened, something like that could hardly be kept a secret while his elder brother still lived. But the way James had explained things Prince Philip didn't have much longer, so shouldn't his elder brother, bastard or not be preparing for his succession?

I tried my best to stay out of the political matters of such things, but I had a feeling that was about to change very soon. If I liked it or not.

"But he will be told? When exactly?" I ask only now realizing things seemed even more impossibly complicated.

If this 'Tomas' didn't know he was soon to the next heir to Spain. That also meant he most likely didn't have the faintest idea about or engagement. If that was the case, then why was I being sent there to begin with?

"When King Thiago feels he is ready." James explained, I knew full well he would know better than anyone else in this room what the Spanish King's intentions were.

"I want to make myself clear Evelyn. Your soul purpose in Spain is to secure Tomas as your husband. But, that intent can not be made public until he is legitimized." James stated firmly and slightly more stern then I would have originally expected.

I stare at him in disbelief. Just how would he like me to accomplice such a task? Securing a marriage for one I never wanted or sought, second to a man who had no title or holdings of any sort, to me? A princess?

No wonder he wanted this a secret if word that I the soul heir to France was plotting to court a bastard got out my reputation would suffer irrefutable damage. What choice did I have but to wait until his legitimization to even make my intentions known?

Further more why was I the one who had to pursue him? Hadn't James already arranged all this with King Thiago, that I was his sons betrothal?

"What am I expected to do in the mean time? Bide my time in Spanish court, as what? A vagrant sent to admire the architecture?" I ask accusingly.

"Your official cover will be that I have sent you to arrange a suitable marriage. You will court various nobles from around the country. You will be courteous, graceful and excepting of their courtship but never truly receptive." James instructed, and suddenly the jagged puzzle of his scheme began to resemble a clear picture.

"At all times you are to give the illusion of being available but never truly be available. Tomas is your only concern." James said coldly.

"And just how would you like me to secure my betrothed? While he hold the title of bastard and I nothing more than French bait sent to lure false courtships?" I ask seriously. I find the idea of trying to seduce one lord while courting countless others a bit of a task.

"The subtle nature of this situation will undoubtedly prove difficult." James admits which gives me hope that he actually understand the lunacy of the scenario he was currently trying to throw me into.

"But, Richard has assured me this task is not impossible." He adds glancing in Uncle's direction.

"Uncle?" I ask curiously.

Uncle Richards handsome rugged face lights up almost enthusiastically. A look I didn't often see upon that of my Uncle except on a handful of occasions.

"His grace has decreed me Frances latest ambassador to Spain. As well as your personal guardian while you tour court." Uncle Richard smiles warmly

I feel my heart skip a beat in my chest at what I just heard, a little worried I had misheard it.

"I will be with you every step of the way your highness." He adds, and my face and body flushes with relief at his confession.

So I wasn't going to Spain completely on my own? Uncle Richard was accompanying me. It was such a small gesture seeing as Uncle had been all over the word to far worse off places other than Spain. But the fact that he was willing to leave court once more to travel with me meant the absolute world!

Though I didn't get the chance to express my gratitude before James once again spoke.

"Evelyn you have to understand that this. Is bigger than all of us. You shape the future of our country and I have every faith that my trust in you is well placed." He says boldly as we lock eyes.

I try to hold his stare but its to great, the prideful tone in his voice. The way he seems so confident and trusting towards me. How can he possibly not see it from this close?

That I, am drowning.


I swing the golf hammer so hard at the puny ball placed at my feet that it launches into the air sending it flying for what seems like an entire continent before landing in the pond quite a distance away.

I will admit it feels quite nice to have an object to manifest my anger onto, but such a small target really does little to slake my rage.

I hated the game of golf, never liked the idea of twiddling away hours at a time to try and hit an almost impossible target. But it was something to do outside the castle, which lately felt like it was becoming more of a tomb than a home.

Everyone's eyes fixed upon me. Servants, guest, all members of court fixated on me as if I were a ghost haunting their lavish hallways destined to disappear at the slightest notice.

I couldn't stand it!

I strike at another ball only to have it sail just a few feet shy of where I stand. I hated this game, but I wanted to hit something over and over again until all this anguish inside of me stopped.

"Evelyn." I hear the unmistakable tone of Stephanie fill my ear, and I pause mid-stroke.

"At last she emerges." I scoff striking the ball again, this time missing the damn thing entirely. I hate this accursed game!

The entire point of me coming out here was to escape the castle, yet here it was in a silk dress and fine jewels coming to hunt me down.

"What? Did James send you to deliver another lecture? About, how I am the soul hope of France?" I ask plucking the ball from the ground to try and angle a better shot. Anything to avoid looking at the sympathetic stare of my sister in law.

"I came on my own. I wanted to speak with you. There are some hostilities between us-" She speaks as I swing the club once more, a bit more aggressive than before.

"I would like to see them diminished." She added as the new ball goes flying.

"You think that's wise while I have a club?" I ask swinging the iron over my shoulder before stepping away from her overbearing presence. So much lush open greenery out here, yet I still felt like I was suffocating.

"Evelyn please? If I don't do this now I might not get another chance before-" Stephanie begins almost passable for pleading.

"Before? What? My exile into hell." I interrupt spinning to face her my grip hard on the handle of the club.

"Could you please listen to me?" She ask aggravated. Her tone only ignites my fowl mood further.

"Why? You never listened to me! Or even cared to." I state bitterly.

"Lynne-" She tries to begin. But I will hear none of it.

"Why don't you just admit it!" I snap at her.

"You're happy to see me go." I state confidently throwing the club to the ground watching as Stephanie flinches in response to my unsheathed anger.

"What?" She ask almost sounding genuinely confused by my outburst.

"You heard me! There you stand all bleeding heart and sympathetic, but in truth you cant wait to see me board that carriage and wheel away out of your lives. Out of sight at last." I shout uncaring if the guards posted just out of sight come running in.

"Then you'd have James all to yourself." I add bluntly, uncaring.

"Evelyn that's not what I'm trying to-" Stephanie attempts again to speak but just the sound of her voice is enough to infuriate me further.

Why is she even here? Shouldn't she be curled at James's side celebrating my soon to be departure? This is what she had always dreamed of. I know it had been!

"Yes it is! It's like the time the cardinal wanted a tour of the French cathedrals and you recommended James send me on that god awful trip! That would have surely taken an eternity." I begin the memory as vivid and fresh as it had been the day it happened.

"But when I convinced James you should go instead you refused to speak to either of us for weeks!" I finish harshly. Reliving the day Stephanie had retuned to court with a scowl on her face aimed at no other than me.

"Admittedly I was upset. But that was only because James and I hadn't spent any time together after-" She tried to defend but my point had already been made by her admission.

"You admit it then! You cant stand that my brother loves me equally if not more than you! That's why you want to get rid of me!" I accuse spitefully.

It had always been there, just beneath the surface I know it had. Stephanie had to work and please James to keep his affection as every queen did. But not me, James love for me was as natural as breathing. I hadn't had to gain his affection, it was given to me freely and without compromise.

Stephanie may have liked to deny it, but I knew there was a bitterness inside her just beneath the surface for that. That I had, and would always have something she had to slave to get.

"That is not true, Evelyn." She whispered, her voice breaking from the strain of her words. I could see the hurt in her eyes, and I wanted her to feel it. To have just a small taste of what I was receiving, maybe then she would understand what this really felt like.

"Just leave." I demand, turning away from her wanting to put as much distance between the two of us as possible.

"I have enough on my mind without adding your parade of self-pity to my conscience." I say coldly losing the will to march on as suddenly as it had arrived.

I flop on the grass staring off towards the flat surface of the pond. Thinking, wondering how deep the water really is.

Or how many golf balls lurk beneath its murky surface.

Its quite for a few moments, but just a few before I see out of the corner of my eye Stephanie taking a seat beside me. A strange thing to someone from the outside looking in.

A princess, and a queen sitting on damp grass in royal gowns. No escorts, no servants. Just us, the pair of us silent and still watching the dreary world go by.

"I know why you are so angry. Why you are really angry." She corrects her honey colored eyes reflecting the water with a million little points of light from the dying sun.

"If you're expecting an apology-" I began warningly.

"That's not it. I wanted to tell you, you were right." She whispered and honestly I'm to stunned to reply, I don't know if she was saying this out of some sympathetic plight or real admittance.

"What you said, the day after James returned. You might have said it to be spiteful, but that didn't make it any less true." She explains her gaze falling to the pond before us. Her soft face expersonless and her eyes narrow with something darker than I can ever remember seeing before.

I think over her words, seeking the meaning within them. And, soon the memory returns. When she had come to my chamber the night after I had unwillingly discovered James's efforts in Spain.

When I had viciously attacked her most deepest insecurity, her barrenness.

I had never meant to be so callus that day, but I had been so upset with the realization that I was losing not only Nathan but everything I had ever known. Understandably I hadn't taken or handled it well.

"You are being sent to Spain because of my inability to produce and heir." Stephanie admits and I know the words leave a foul taste in her mouth.

All the while she shows nothing, no remorse, no regret just sullen silence as she stares off to the dark waters before the both of us.

"Its been, quite painful to admit to ones self. But it's the truth." She smiles, but its empty never really reaching the depth of her eyes.

I stare silently down at my knees pulled to my chest. I know how unbearable this conversation must be for her. I knew nothing of the role of a true ruler. But like most it was common knowledge to truly be considered a worthy queen you had one duty in life. To secure the line of succession for not only your King, but your country.

If you were unable to do that, then what use were you to either? A question I secretly wished I would never know the answer to.

I think back to James's face in the great hall, while sitting in the windowsill.

"You're the daughter I never had Lynne. The only one I'll every have."

The words ring fresh in my memory and make my chest tighten. I hadn't appreciated the meaning behind those words, not until this very moment.

"I always wanted children you know? Dozen if possible. Not just for the sake of France, or a strong line for the throne. But for myself." She whispered, and I could hear the sincerity in every word.

"It might sound ridiculous but I've always felt as though being queen wasn't my true purpose. I felt, I was destined to be a something more, a mother. Its been that way ever since I first met you brother." Stephanie confesses to me, and I can see in her eyes she is thinking back to that fateful day. The day she arrived at court.

I was to young to recall it clearly, but the memories are there hazy as they may be.

"From the moment I saw him. I thought of nothing else than being at his side. Promising myself I would do everything possible to ensure he never regretted his decision to chose me." She whispered tucking away a stray lock of her fiery hair behind her jewel cover ear.

"I've spent most of my life trying to uphold that promise." She admitted and I can see a glisten in her exuberant eyes, its faint but growing.

"And I've fallen short of that vow time and time again." Stephanie's voice cracks as she turns to me revealing the full tears filling her sorrowful gaze.

"Much like now." She cries.

I stare at her and my heart sinks. Stephanie was never a prayer I had asked to receive. She wasn't the sister I had always wanted, the confidant I had dreamt my brothers wife would someday be.

But she had been there, through it all. Through all my tantrums, my selfish ways, my sometimes frequent manipulation of James's love for me. She had never faltered.

Were her and I truly so different? She had been a stranger here once herself. A foreigner sent to marry at the whim of others and now bore the weight of a crown she had never asked for.

I hadn't realized the similarities between us, not until this very moment.

"You need to understand that James isn't the only person who care about you." She states firmly though her cheeks are flushed and her eyes watered.

"You may not believe it. But, I do love you Evelyn. Very, very much." She promises and my throat dries as I stare over to the fragile creature sitting beside me.

I cant speak. What could I possible say? All our lives I had never shown true tenderness to the wife of my brother and I don't know how to start now. I'm lost, for words, for thoughts. I'm just, silent.

"I needed you to know that." She confesses climbing to her feet gauging my inability to reply as an acceptance of her goodbye.

But as I watch her stand, watch her turn from me and prepare to disappear back the way she came. I suddenly feel so alone, so much so I cant bare the mere idea of it.

The one person who understands my circumstance better than anyone else possibly could, is walking away and I can think of only one way to see her stay. To let her know, what the depths of her words had really meant to me.

"You're wrong." I say, commanding the words to leave me as I force my gaze away from her back towards the water. I cant bare the idea of facing her, not when I confess the words building in my chest.

The sound of her foot steps cease and I know she has heard the beginning of my turmoil.

"I don't hate you." I admit. I can easily see how she felt such a way towards me, but it wasn't the truth not near it. What I felt towards her, towards the queen of France and the love of my brothers life was so much worse.

So much so, it made containing the words in my chest that much harder.

"Cant believe I'm saying this." I blink away my forming tears as I stare towards the setting sun off in the distance. Letting the last of its warmth wash over me and silently praying I could disappear away with the last of its light.

Stephanie steps beside me, I see the richness of her gowns hem fan out through the corner of my eye and I know I had recaptured her from her retreat back towards the castle.

"I'm jealous of you." I breathe and the hard uncomfortable weight slowly begins to leave my chest.

I peer up towards the orange and puce colored sky, the birds flying overhead and the cloudless void welcoming them all as they fly further and further out of sight.

"You might not have asked for this life. But, you face every day as the one thing I never wanted to be. You're a queen." I admit.

"A queen, married to a king who cherishes you above all else. Above his family, above his very country. And I-" I pause already feeling the breaking in my voice and the sharp sting of fresh tears.

"I'm jealous." I force myself to breathe but it does little to stop the ache in my chest.

"I see the two of you together. The way he looks at you. And I cant help but think-. What hope do I possibly have of ever having something like that?" I ask and my voice breaks and the tears begin to roll.

How many political marriages ended in true happiness? I had spent my entire life fantasizing about my marriage. About the man I would call my own before God and my country and all of it had been stripped away. I would be blessed if my to be husband even tolerated me, yet alone truly loved me the way James loved Stephanie.

It seemed like the wish of a fool, a foolish girl like me.

I cant help myself. I begin to cry, broken sobs racking my chest as I hug myself tightly. This feeling, this terror at what was really being thrust down upon me, I cant stand it!

Suddenly I feel soft arms wrap around my own. Stephanie falling to her knees at my back as she cradles me to her chest like a mother would her own child.

"I'm sorry." She cries her own tears rolling off her pale skin and only my shoulders as she holds me tighter.

"I'm so afraid." I whisper into her arms, and I was I truly was.

"I know. It'll be alright." She promises, and deep down I pray I can believe her. But I know with a sickening realization, nothing even for a princess was certain.


I often wondered the stories the woods could tell if given a voice. Especially these trees towering above me at this very moment. Their dancing branches shifting with the light gust of midnight air pushing through them letting rich silvery moonlight beam down all around me.

These wooden towers had carpeted the outside grounds of the castle for ages. Generations of my family had come and gone under this canopy yet nothing of them remained.

I stand here looking up at fragmented pieces of star covered sky and think about my own story from their colossal standpoint. Was it so long ago I was a little girl carelessly fleeing my duties at the castle to hide myself away from the world in the safety of these woods?

And now, I was a young woman who was leaving all I had every really known behind me.

The time had finally come, when dawn broke and the sparkling lights of the stars and moon were chased away my carriage would be waiting and my life would never be the same.

I suppose I could've waited in the confines of my chamber for the brief hours to tick by. Filling myself with dread and fear over circumstances I had no control over. Which seemed the most practical thing to do.

But, I couldn't bring myself to say forever goodbye to my home without staying one more night under these beautiful trees.

I dug my bare feet into the cool soil breathed the deep scent of bark and earth and wished myself away. No where in particular just somewhere like this very spot hundred of miles away. Where I could be someone else, anyone else safe and happy with just the stars and moon to comfort me.

"Lovely night." A soft voice drags me away from my motionless journey and I turn to see no other than James emerging from the shadows.

His hair messed, his rich embroidered fabrics replaced with just a simple tunic and black trousers as if he much like myself had escaped the narrow grasp of sleep.

"James? What are you doing out here?" I ask turning to face the lax posture of my brother.

"Simple really. I am the King, you are the princess. I am your brother, and you my sister. And, come morning you are leaving the country. Where else would I possibly be?" He ask with a warm smile and my heart sinks.

I stare down at my dark earth stained feet and try to hide my building anguish as he stands beside me. I had both dreaded this moment and waited patently for it to arrive.

But now that it was here my will to face it was faltering.

"It's always so quiet here." I whisper trying to distance myself from the conversation I feel is threatening to emerge.

"It's quiet inside the castle as well." He replies the underlining tone of his disapproval clear. Its obvious he didn't approve of my wondering the castle grounds at night unattended.

"Not like this. Its-" I correct taking in a wonderful breathe of the fresh forest air turning my attention back to the waiting black void above us.

"Peaceful." He adds with a sigh of his own.

We stand there for a moment just watching the trees sway and the soft breeze hum through the leaves letting the memories of this place fill each of our minds.

"I doubt you recall it. But, years ago, when you were just a little girl. I use to take you for walks out here. We spent hours wondering around in circles beneath these very trees." James says to me and I meet his gaze with a soft smile upon my lips.

"In fact-" He adds taking a step to the side then a few more following an invisible path and gesturing for me to the same as we approach an over grown grove of brush.

With a strong hand he shoves a patch of dried hanging moss from the base of a certain tree. Revealing deep words cut into the trunk.

"I carved your-" He smiles as I step beside him my fingers tracing over the jagged letters of my name.

"With the saber father had cast for you." I beam. The memories slightly dark but becoming more vivid the more I concentrated on the worn bark beneath my touch.

"You remember." James turns to me with a soft glow in his dark eyes, seemingly moved by my recollection of the event.

"Vividly. It's one of the few memories of father I have. He was so angry at you for blunting the blade he had it melted down." I add the clear recall of fathers barley contained anger aiding me in the attempt.

"I think he had it re-forged into a holder for his stallion." James smiles obviously not near as upset as any other prince would have been to lose such a treasure.

"Able! Oh I loved Able! Father lectured me for half an hour once on the 'places of princesses' when he caught me braiding his hair." I reply remembered very vivid memories of the black coated beast I so rarely got to interact with.

James laughs, and the sound is contagious and I cant help but giggle as well.

"It appears we were both disappointments." James says and he only makes my smile widen.

I step away from the tree turning my attention towards him, looking at the man he truly was standing beside me. James's face was so clear in my memory but he looked so unbelievably different now.

The soft features of his youth edged away into a rugged handsomeness and it only makes me wonder just how much had I changed in the same course of time?

"That feels like a lifetime ago." I whisper more to myself but the statement doesn't sound it any less true. Where were those carefree children now?

They were no longer the two of us so the question remained, where had they gone. And would either of us ever see them again?

A silence falls over us and I can see James stare at the carving he had edged so many years ago and the same question swims in his eyes as it does in mine.

The air shifts and the light heartedness of the conversation we had just shared falls away, and I feel the real circumstances we both face resurface.

"Lynne-" He whispers turning towards me and my hand rises to stop him mid-sentence before I can stop it.

"Stop." I command staring past my pressed finger to his confused face.

"Whatever you're about to say. If its any semblance of a 'goodbye' if its all the same. I'd rather not here it." I explain retracing my hand to rest at my side.

"I've had quite my fill of that sort of thing of late." I confess the haunting conversation I had shared with Stephanie still ringing in the dark corners of my mind.

James takes a reassuring breath as he turns towards me and I can see the building hurt inside those impossibly dark eyes.

"You're leaving come morning." He justifies.

"And I am barely holding onto my resolve as is and hearing you of all people tell me farewell-" I begin the real panic I feel towards my fast approaching reality coming to the surface only briefly.

"I cant James." I state bluntly.

I could handle a lot of things, I think I had proven that to myself the last few weeks but saying my parting words to the one person I never thought I would ever have to be without. It was the one thing I wasn't ready to face, and I knew undoubtedly I wouldn't survive it.

"I understand." He replies and the tone of his voice tells me that secretly, he feels the same.

"So instead, I would like to spend my last night on French soil as someone other than the princess." I add forcing my voice to sound light hearted and carefree as I always had.

"Such as?" James partially smiles uncertain of my intentions.

"Evelyn Rebecca Da'silva, younger sister of James Thomas Da'silva and soon to be champion of-" I pause for a more dramatic effect.

"Tag!" I yell slapping James on the shoulder before bolting towards the deeper part of the forest.

"Hey! What? Evelyn!" I hear James call after me but I spare him no mercy in my promised victory.

I hear his heavy boot covered feet stomp after me as I jolt towards a more drastically thick tree turning around the base only to see him peering out on the other side with a smile.

He reaches for me but I duck towards the other side and so on we go in our game.

For a moment, it feels so easy. To easy to lose myself in such a childish moment but I cling to the wonderful carefree nature of this game, of this place. Because for all I knew, it would be the last time I ever feel this way again.

I sprint from behind the tree a difficult task while keeping my simple gown from tangled around my ankles but I manage it all the same. I bolt towards the deeper part of the forest the moonlight becoming less and less visible as the woods thicken around me.

But I know this place well, almost as well as I knew the inner working of the castle. And I know exactly where I sprint off towards.

I can hear James close behind me all the while and I smile that I can so easily out run him. Perhaps he had spent to much time locked away in his study of late and not enough outdoors to become so sluggish.

I break past the last line of brush keeping me from my goal and instantly I am greeted by rich silvery light and an endless sky of sparkling jewel like stars.

I stand centered in a clearing one of few under these trees nothing under my feet but unruly grass and wild flowers. The moon is full and the reflection of the ghostly orb bask everything around me in its glowing light.

I hear James emerge behind me his breath slightly heavy as he approaches but I hear it shallow as he stares up at the same magnificent sight as I.

I look up the endless void before us and truly think of how small I am. Royalty or not I have no power over the plan God has in store for me. My mind travels over the hundreds of miles soon to distance me from my home and I ask myself will the sky be this beautiful in Spain?

Or will it be one more thing I would have to learn to do without?

Despite my best efforts to reign in my overly consuming thoughts they begin to run away from me, I'm standing here staring at the most beautiful sky I can ever remember and all I am feeling is dread.

The tears begin to fill my eyes before I can stop them and just when I think all hope of controlling my fear is far beyond my grasp, the familiar feeling of James's hand curls around my own.

I peer up at him standing so sure, so strong and unafraid at my side.

Any suddenly my crushing worry and terror over what tomorrow will bring is dulled. With one look into those dark knowing eyes. It had always been this way, even when I was a little girl whenever I was afraid or hurt. He had been there. He was my constant my unwavering source of strength.

And he still was.

I squeeze his hand grateful for the silent support he provides and I force a smile through the haze of tears.

"Evelyn, this isn't goodbye but-" He begins his throat sounding abnormally strained, was this hard for him as well?

I watch as he retracts his hand to fish inside his tunic his grasp returning with something clutched inside the callous pad of his palm.

He extends it out towards me before curling back his fingers and the glowing chain and pendant of a most familiar sigh fills my eyes.

"Mother's necklace?" I whisper in disbelief.

But it was. The very article of gold that had started me on this journey and the very one that would be sent off towards its end.

James places the heavy pendant in my hand as the chain overhands my palm.

"Turn it over." He ask

I look up at him with confusion, nothing had been extra ordinary about the pendant other than its weight in solid gold especially the not visible side.

But I do as asked and turn the heavy orb over in my hand and instantly my gaze fixes on the freshly inscribed words now engraved beautifully on the surface.

"Aime par frere." I whisper and my heart feels three times heavier in my chest as I peer up towards his smiling face.

He reaches out towards me his thumb wiping away a tear I hadn't realized had fallen as he stares so lovingly down at me.

"I am proud of you, I am so very very proud." He confesses.

A gasp escapes my lips and I reach for him. He pulls me to his chest and I begin to cry against him. I loved my brother more than words could ever express, but I always feared I would never be worthy of those words.

To hear them spoken out loud, it was more than I could bare and I begin to sob as I hold him tighter.

What was a world like without James in it? To be without France, my country was devastating enough. But to be without him, the only real father I had ever known.

I feared I wouldn't be strong enough to face it.

I clutch the necklace more fiercely in my hand as I cradle it to my chest, just above the surface where my heart still beats.

The inscription ringing in my head, and giving me the strength I know I will need for many years to come.

Aime par frere, Loved by brother.


The doors are sealed before me with only a narrow crack of sunlight seeping from beneath the only barricade keeping me safely behind the castle walls.

My breath is short and my heart pounding against the inside of my chest. It was here, the day had come and my departure from French soil was just behind these doors.

Outside them a mass of soldiers, nobles, servants, any and every soul that called this castle there home gathered just out of sight to see their princess depart their country.

My hands are shaking so badly I force them to my side rigid and stiff as I can be as I try to focus on my breathing.

I can hear the crowd roaring outside the great hall and all the while I cant help but think I never thought a gathering of this magnitude would ever be focused solely on me. Not unless it was the day of my wedding, but that was not a day I dreamt of any longer.

My entire future was uncertain, calculated and valued only as far as I could carry the French throne, and I was petrified.

I gasp for air feeling as though the corseted golden gown I was sowed into this morning is suffocating me, the jewels over my hands and body feeling more like a ball and chain then decorative gems.

"Are you ready your grace?" The reassuring voice of my uncle fills the silent void around me.

I turn to him looking up at his freshly shaven face and newly sown doublet his posture lax and seemingly un-phased by the mob that waits to greet the pair of us.

I suppose this wasn't anything new to him. Uncle Richard was the most well traveled of us all departing from French court was most likely as easy as taking his next breath.

But for me, this was a day was something I never thought I would have to face. I had never left this castle, never seen the world beyond its great walls. And I was both terrified and excited at the same time. Though one outweighed the other greatly.

Uncle Richard extends out his arm and I take it gratefully. As fearful as I was, there was a silver lining in the fact that I wouldn't be facing this task utterly alone.

Uncle Richard wasn't James, but I did love him greatly. And having him at my side made this entire event a bit more bearable.

We lock arms and he gives me a reassuring squeeze before nodding to the guards to part the great doors open and let the rich sunlight of the day flood in.

I'm blinded by its glow for just a moment and then the pathway ahead of me becomes crystal clear.

Throngs of people line the pathway to the caravan waiting for me and with Uncle Richard guiding me we begin the descend down the stone stairs into the courtyard.

Had it been so long ago that I had ran so carefree along these very steps? When James had returned from his voyage and I had run with open arms to greet him. What I wouldn't give to have that day back, to have my life make sense just once more.

The crowd cheers with our emergence and music hums in the distance. I suppose this is a joyous occasion from the outside looking in. The heir to the French throne off to secure a promising marriage in the most powerful nation in the world.

It was something worth celebrating I suppose, to those who didn't know the truth.

With my free hand I grasp at the pendant clinging faithfully to my chest feeling the words etched on the back beneath my fingertips and it gives me the strength to solider on.

The stone path couldn't have taken us more than a few moments to descend but all the while it feels like an eternity. Each step I am being forced to surrender a memory I had of this place, one I would likely never have again.

Just when I think my determination is wearing so thin every soul surrounding me can see how terrified I truly am, I see him. James waiting for me just beside the richly decorated carriage door open and waiting to cart me off towards the future.

Its golden trim and flowered covered top and wheels beautiful in every detail, but to me it is the equivalent of a prison cart dragging me away from the only home I had ever known.

Uncle Richard escorts me to the waiting door as we face James and Stephanie standing proud and extravagantly beautiful as they always had.

"Your grace." Uncle Richard bows before them and gestures me to do the same.

I do as silently commanded. Far to many eyes are fixated on us all, and we must be the pillar of demur and strength our country needs us to be.

Though on the inside, I am anything but.

Stephanie reaches for me and I take her hand gratefully as she kisses me cheek.

"You can do this." She whispers in my ear and I squeeze her hand praying she wont let me go.

But she does and my heart sinks as she turns towards James who's eyes are fixated on me. I cant cry, though I feel the tears willing to come at the slightest notice. I cant let the court see me in such a way, I am the princess I am the heir. I have to be strong, beautiful and brave as James wants me to be.

"It's time your majesty." Uncle Richard announces to me slightly inching more towards the waiting carriage doors.

My breathe stops and my heart skips a beat in my chest. I'm not ready! I don't want to go, I don't want to be here! But my feet move of their own accord and I begin towards the waiting prison coach.

"A moment Uncle." James begins and I feel the life flood back into me as I turn to face him.

We lock eyes and I can see the sorrow in his, his handsome face is smiling. But on the inside I can see past the surface, he is just as afraid as I am.

"I think its only appropriate the king bestow a parting gift of sorts to the princess of France." He announces and his hand gestures towards the crowd which I only now see begin to partially separate.

Then suddenly the duo pair of two familiar faces come rushing towards me.

"Catharine! Jeffery!" I cant help but cry out as the both of them come directly to my side my arms wrapping around Catharine's neck before I can command them otherwise.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her pulling back just enough to lock her hands into my own.

I had sent for them days ago, but my summons had gone unanswered. I had only assumed with my departure James would have placed them elsewhere in court as to not distract me from the promise of Spain.

There absence had been greatly felt and several nights I had cried myself to sleep with the fear I might not see them again before my leaving.

"His majesty has graciously asked the two of us to accompany-" Jeffery began ever so politely. Clearly rehearsed as I knew it would be, Jeffery always lost his nerve in the presence of James.

"We're coming with you!" Catharine burst before Jeffery can complete his speech.

I feel the shock completely wash over my face but like the day break chasing away the shadows of night my surprise is instantly replaced with sheer and utter joy!

"We'll discuss the details later." She promises me and I feel the tears blur my vision. I turn towards James with a heartfelt smile.

He had planned this all along.

I stand before him staring at his handsome face and I feel my heart swell and at the same time weigh so heavy in my chest.

I want to hug him, to throw myself into his arms like I had the day he had returned to court. But I look at the crowd of people engulfing us. A crowd a month ago I wouldn't have cared one way or another their opinion of me.

But I feel weighted as I look at James, when I never cared about my appearance towards the nobles. They always judged him for my behavior. And I knew they were doing just that now.

Watching to see if I would so carelessly dismiss my position as princess for my childish antics. And though so deeply I wanted to, I also wanted something more.

To prove to James that even though I never asked for this engagement, I was worthy of his trust in his arranging it.

I would make him proud, not just as my brother. But, as my king.

I step towards him and courtesy my head bowed to his feet and my allegiance to his rule clear for everyone around us to see.

I hear him take a shaky breath and I fight the urge to meet those dark eyes I loved so much.

But I feel his finger hook under my chin as he forces me to stare up towards him, his face soft and eyes darker than I can every remember them being.

"Safe travels princess." He whispers.

I stand before him and smile through the threat of tears, vowing right here and now.

I would become the princess France needed, and the heir James deserved.

"Farewell, your majesty." I force the words past my lips as I turn towards the waiting carriage.

I take the step into the coach with Uncle Richard, Catharine, and Jeffery beside me and take my seat not only on the path that will lead me to an entirely new kingdom.

But a new world.

The wheels spin and I hear the coachmen call the horses to trot. I peer out the carriage window to James and Stephanie clutching each others hands tightly.

My time with them is may be over, but I know their love will be enough to carry them through this hardship, as I know the love for my king and my country will do for me.

The horses pick up speed, and the world that I had always known slowly begins to fade away.


Onwards to the real adventure. Till next chapter!