Back To Explore

Beverly was busy at sickbay the following days. She needed to settle in again and tried to follow up on the crew's physicals and installing new routines. Still she was looking forward to meeting up with the Captain again. They had met during the daily senior staff meeting of course, but that was far from being in any way personal.

She did not know what to expect. She had to admit that she came back to the Enterprise for several reasons. One of them was to reunite with Jean Luc. She had missed his friendship and more. She had felt a longing for this man in her heart and wanted to see what will become of that when meeting him face to face again. And when they had met in Ten Forward his hand on her back was burning like fire and she knew that it was not the distance that made her heart grow fonder. Finally she was willing to give them a chance if he wanted it too.

She had been alone since Jack died. Well, every now and then she had been on a date with a fellow doctor or some acquaintance but there was never anything to it. Her heart was chained to the three men in her life: Jack, Wesley and Jean Luc. First she mourned Jack and when she had gotten over his death she was too busy raising Wesley to seriously getting involved.

When she learned about the launch of the Enterprise she knew she had to be on that ship. She had the heart of an explorer and the Enterprise offered her the chance to explore, not needing to leave her son behind. And she was eager to reconnect with Jean Luc. She had followed his career, followed on where he was from time to time hoping that their paths would cross again some time. But it never seemed to be the right time.

Their first encounter on the Enterprise was weird. She didn't know how to greet him and he didn't know either it seems. What to expect from a man, you had not seen for so long. The Captain of your dead husband. The man you were so close to some long time ago. The man you felt attracted to for so long. How is one supposed to meet such a person. You have so much history together and yet it is all in your way.

And so they met. And it was a catastrophe. He shouted at her, he doubted her and he wanted her to go. A great start indeed. It got better but she felt they were stuck. There was too much between them. Too much of everything. Of love, guilt and doubt. And so she left. She fled from being stuck. But she needed to come back. Being away from him she realized that she could not give him up without giving them a fair chance. Now that their first meeting had taken place. She had nothing to loose but her dignity.

So she returned. Hoping. Fearing. Waiting.

They meet in Ten Forward. Some musicians had already seated themselves when she entered. Data however was still missing. She looks around and finds Jean Luc sitting on a table looking in direction of the door waiting for her to enter.

As soon as he sees her, a smile produces itself on his face. His eyes are shining. She smiles back and makes her way to his table. Meeting and greeting people on the way. His eyes never leaving her body. Waiting for her. Watching her charming the crew. Taking in every smile, every twinkle of an eye. All of her.

When she finally reaches his table he gets up to greet her.

"Beverly!"

His voice sounds soft and dark pouring out his feelings towards her. Hearing her name spoken in that way, articulated by his lips makes her shiver. He pulls out a chair and she appreciates his gentlemanlike manner. He guides her to the chair running his fingers from between her shoulder plates to the small of her back and up again.

She swallows down the lump in her throat. She cannot believe what this touch is doing to her. She blushes. Her cheeks redden and her body wants to lean into him. It is all he can give her in a public space and it is more she had hoped for. Her hands want to flow over his chest. She sits down, folds her hands together on the table to keep herself from reaching out to touch him.

She is aware of the special treatment he is giving her. His smiles. The tenderness of his gaze towards her. His touch. She is still amazed how boldly he touches her in public. She is somewhere in between very happy and utterly scared. She knows she loves him. She knows she wants to try to be with him, if he is willing to be with her. But although it seems so easy, so natural it is not for the Captain and his CMO.

"Jean Luc", she whispers smiling Towards him. Encouraging him.

Their eyes lock and for a moment both of them are left speechless. Seeking the depth of each other's gaze. Data approaches pulling them out of a land that exclusively had been reserved for them.

The String Quartett starts to play. They are being pulled out of the com addressing the Captain.

"Captain, we are receiving a message from the Sheliak Corporate."

He gets up. Throws an excusing look towards Beverly and heads for the door.

"Merde", he says to himself when leaving Ten Forward. On the turbolift he sends a written message to Beverly.

"I am sorry. Hope you enjoyed the concert. Join me for breakfast tomorrow 0700h?"

Beverly is slightly disappointed. Of course she shouldn't be. Of course his ship will always come first. It is no use struggling or fighting the Enterprise. She leans back and listens to the concert.